[Report This]Date: July 26 2023 7:39 AM Title: Ending 1 - Up and Coming
You know, the whole butt plug slave thing isn't my particular kink, but I can still appreciate how well-written this is.
Livy is a wonderfully evil character, and matches my own view of how a social media influencer would act. She's easy to hate and a terrible person, but still bubbly and charismatic enough to draw you in anyway. And she was well-established in such a short chapter, too. Good work!
I do feel as though there was a bit of missed opportunity in this chapter, though. I think it a paragraph or two at the end of the chapter showing Emma's reaction to this would have added something to it. Maybe her reaction to seeing the video Livy posted about Noah or possibly her receiving a box from Livy after weeks of seemingly being unable to contact her only to be given free merch from Livy as a "thank you" for sending Noah her way. Hell, maybe by that point, Noah will have gotten "popular" enough that Livy could have had plastic Noah's made and sent one Emma's way.
Yeah, I'm pulling for one of these endings to be a happy one, but if we're going dark, we may as well go gut-wrenchingly dark and show Emma hating herself for what she did to her best friend/possible love. That might not be practical with all of these endings, but I thought there was an opportunity here with the social media aspect to do that. Of course, as this is a commission, maybe word count came into play here, but I figured I would offer a bit of (hopefully) constructive criticism all the same.
Author's Response:
Thanks! I don't follow a lot of social media influencers, but one thing I do know about being a successful one is knowing when to seize and opportunity and make the most of it, so that's what I went with with Livy lol
As you guessed, this ending, and the rest with the exception of the last one, were written to appeal to Star's tastes and had to be brief to fit within the word limit. As such, seeing how Emma responds to each individual ending didn't make it in, but that's not to say we won't be seeing her before everything is said and done lol
I'm glad to hear that I was able to make a kink you're not into a bit appealing. The rest of the ending also includes Noah getting acquainted with other women's backsides, so I hope you'll give each of them a chance too.