Reviews For Mia's Hero
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Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 10 2019 8:03 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Friday Gossip

Dani is a loving sister, what a rude girl for thinking otherwise!

 

Excellent stuff though.



Author's Response:

Thanks! 

Reviewer: D W Signed [Report This]
Date: December 13 2018 10:24 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Mia's Life

Thanks for posting the story.

As for praise, there is too little to get a good sense of your story and your writing skills overall.

That said, as for critisism, you moved your story line along so quickly that little to no specific action is conveyed to the reader.

For instance, 4 hours in Danielle's shoe and not a single description of either the smell or the feel of being in there.  Not to forget the sense of oppression and weakness she felt while in there.

What does "Ace opened his hang" mean?

I think you have a great story plot developing; but if I may make a suggestion.  Write your story out OFFLINE.  Read it, then reread it, then reread it again.  Once you feel you have conveyed to a reader who has NO idea what you are saying to begin with, summerize if it's what you wish to convey, then post it.

Regardless of anything, always post what you want us all to read no matter what any of us {especially me} have to say about it.

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