Reviewer: The Critic Signed
Date: July 25 2010
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I am very fond of this story, I love the way it is written, the style it is presented. And the almost child-like innocence of the characters present in the story.
The author portrays emotions of the characters very effectively through the story, and has people behaving (in what I would imagine to be) a realistic manner in the situation. The interaction between the characters has led me to become very attached to several of the characters.
When i spoke of the innocence earlier, I meant it in the behaviour of individuals, some stories on the site have the subtlety of a brick, and are basically a porno story; often poorly told. But the gradual build up of the more mature actions here make the build up very satisfying. I very much look forward to Suzie taking it to the next level with her boyfriend.
Top storytelling, keep up the good work, I eagerly anticipate the next chapter.
Author's Response: Hey, it's always a pleasure to hear from new reviewers. Your review perfectly summarizes the way i wanted to write the story (realistic, etc.) The next chapter will be the last one, for now (I'm afraid I can't keep writing the same story for too long, it becomes tiring. But I will definitely continue it sometime in the future.)