Reviewer: Panzerhunter Signed 
Date: November 28 2021
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Monitors
Well, this was unexpected. You've returned and brought not 1 but 2 stories. This was, despite still being omni, quite outside your typical wheelhouse. I rather liked Laura's plan to send herself a message and discovering not once but twice that she is woefully outmatched. I liked her perseverance even when it was clear she was up against a god. Imagine trying to stop someone from eating galaxies in sushi. It would probably end with you winked out of existence. Even when the beings in peril were from a universe Etsu created, she tried to save them.
Etsu herself was suitably devious. No remorse. I wonder how she gets along without permanently murdering everyone. If accidentally stepping on her shoe and apologizing is rewarded with a Final Destination style perma-death, she must run into similar reasons every day. Its also interesting how she's concerned to some degree about losing her humanity if she were to embrace what her abilities can offer. (Not that she hasn't already, since she massacres universes on the reg)
I was a bit confused what was intended at the end of chapter 9. Is it a vision or is it real? Does Etsu just hold the universes and the extra-universal area in her hands or does she snuff them out and remake them. I would think trying to destroy the multiverse would offend any other gods that exist. That got me thinking about gods pissing off other gods leading to fights. Like your Continental Stroll story, but on even terms. Or Envy, but they aren't frenemies.
There's some errors, but not too many. Gleam instead of glean is used a few times. I see that one in a lot of stories.
Author's Response: Hello and thank you for the detailed feedback. I appreciate it. I am happy you liked the characters! Laura and Etsu both turned out a bit differently than I originally expected compared to my thoughts around when I started writing the story, and I'm happy people seemed to enjoy reading about them and their personalities and such.
You of course bring up interesting points on them in your analysis. When writing Laura, I was actually worried at some points that she might seem a bit too idealistic at times. But, I figured that as a super heroine she was already a special sort of human right? That sort of attitude often goes with the territory, as they say. So, it seemed natural she'd have more courage and such in the face of a powerful being like Etsu.
With regards to your question on chapter 9, I think one notion Etsu was trying to suggest is that just because something is real doesn't mean it matters that much, at least to her. Whatever she did or didn't do to the universes/existence she, as far as Laura knew, presumably fixed it. Far as Laura knows, no one but her and Etsu remembered it either. If consequences can be reverted, then how much does it really matter if a universe is real or not, especially to Etsu who can revert it? I think her and Laura might have some different views on that, perhaps, as you point out.
That said, I did indeed intend to imply that Etsu was closing her hands around existence there haha.
As for errors, editing is unfortunately neither my strong-suit nor something I particularly enjoy all that much. Obviously not the best excuse: I imagine many people don't like editing, haha! I do typically review and edit my stories before sharing them of course, but I imagine they could often benefit from being reviewed and edited more. I just hope any mistakes don't detract too much from a reading experience. In any case, thank you for pointing that out.
And of course, thanks again for sharing your thoughts!
