Randall and Ashley are complete opposites but are the perfect match for each other.
This story is a little different but still a nice change of pace. Please review
27 Aug 2015
I have just read your Randall storly for the first time, to Chapter 21, and have found it to be fascinating, with good action, and reasonable characters. Not only that, but I found that your English and grammar are good enough to allow the reader to enjoy the story without frequent re-reads to understand the background. You may not be a writer, according to your intro, but if you keep with this quality of writing, you will never hear me complain. Keep up the good work. (Note: I usually try to stay away from writings based around teen-aged / precollegiate backgrounds, as I am constantly looking for more mature stories. But you have done very well. Wish I could write as well as you do!)
A young noblewoman follows the norms of society in every way, aside from being a towering 100-feet tall. When she is unable to find love in her own class, she and her desperate family look to the commoners in hope of someone who will accept her for who she is inside.
It has been over 3 years since you last entered more of your story, and for someone who shows so much promise, that is really a great shame. Do you plan to continue your two stories, or is your work fini? I certainly hope that this is not the end. Looking forward to your continuing.
Having just read these first two chapters, I find the concept for the tale to be quite interesting, and look forward to seeing where it goes.
If you do as well with this story as you have done with Stainless, you will have me as a firm fan.
A young man must come to terms with the fact that he no longer enjoys the station in life that was his by birthright and must now adjust to the cruel fate that life has dealt him.
This story seems incomplete.
Interest continues. Hopefully, this little half-elf is able to accomplish something useful.
Well, now: I've caught up a bit to this chapter (37), and I'm still hanging in and enjoying your writing.
A note here... You're probably writing a bit fast at times, so you don't notice that you sometimes forget to complete a word (like forgetting to add -ed to a past tense verb). It's not too serious here, but if you want to write professionally, you need to proof-read your product. Granted, you'll probably have an editor for that, and that's one of his jobs to ensure that the quality is where it should be. But it is a good habit to develop yourself. It will help you avoid such things in the future.
Heja, lancealot501:
Just a quick comment about supporting you... You deserve it for writing so well!
I've been off line quite a lot lately, so I have to catchup again. I'll comment again after another chapter or two.
That's OK. It's not a situation I can't live with... I have been known to make a few errors myself, usually spelling mistakes. Even a professional can't be perfect (as far as I know!) Keep on doing the good work. I love your stories, especially since I don't seem to be able to write creative work myself anymore. (I did a few dozen years ago, but my first 30 years of marriage cured me of that.)
Cheers.
Thanks for the reassurances, and I'll be looking forward to the succeeding chapters.
Because I was a technical writer in my pre-retirement life, I cannot help but notice when you make grammatical errors, so I'll be making notes about them (when I remember -- I get so involved with the stories that I sometimes forget to mention them) when I remember. Occasional mispellings I ignore, unless I see them repeatedly recurring. Keep up the good work!
I guess I finally caught up to what's been completed! You have me wondering what purpose Nyarl is going to serve. Well done! I look forward to new chapters as they come out.
With regard to your English forms: their = belonging to them
there = where?
they're = contraction for they are
You do have a tendancy to misuse them, as well as a couple of other hominym forms.
I guess that I'm reading and reviewing long after you have written this story, but I will continue to leave a few thoughts about it.
I have found this story to be very entertaining, and quite original in outline. Only a couple of other writers (to my knowledge) have written stories involving races of giants who live side by side with other races, in a relatively peaceful manner. Unfortunately, one of them never finished her story, which I very much wanted to see completed. I hope that you will complete this story.
It would appear that I was wrong! How tragic... Meanwhile, you are still doing great!
Fast bit of action... The mystery of Icarus intensifies!
You have a good start, and I'm interested to see where this goes. Mostly, your spelling and grammar appear to be in order. The girl seems to be interesting, and the bad guys are definitely nasty. So, what's the hold-up?
Keep up the good work.
Curiouser & curiouser! Is there a bit of sexual interest developing on either side?
Great, revenge is best when least expected. Too bad the little man chickened out of a probable reward...
I won't criticize, since this is better than anything I have ever tried to write. I just want to cheer you on with a fascinating story that I'm enjoying.
Could I tender a guess, finally, that Icarus was born Prince Exia? I suspected this when the Mayor told Terra the story of the Elves.
Reads very well, and seems to be very promising. I can't wait to continue with the next chapters.
I'm sorry. I've never downloaded/uploaded on this site, so I can't begin to help you with that.