Reviewer: SpookyTaco Signed
Date: February 18 2014
Title: Chapter 2: Ch. 2 'Pig Roast'
Please take my advice with a grain of salt as I’m still trying to learn the ‘art’ of writing. What editor do you use? I just use google docs at the moment but am looking for something better. However, it does have spell check. Even though many stories posted on this sight are first drafts, spell check is automatic enough nowadays that I’d recommend it. Would catch misspellings like surprizing, articals, vehicals etc. Another thing I’m trying to work on is reducing adverb usage. Words like 'nervously' are ‘telling’ the reader. Instead you can ‘show’ the reader via context. E.g., The two wild-haired boys, dusted off the their pantlegs and fidgeted, avoiding direct eye contact with the girls. Just an example. Sometimes it is possible to go overboard with ‘showing’ tho, especially if the story needs to move faster, so it’s a judgement call. As for the story, well looks like Jen and Chloe are about to have two more toys. If only it were always so easy to shrink people. :)
Author's Response: I was just using 'wordpad', -no spellcheck- or anything else. Although, I just downloaded 'Google Docs', I'll give it a try...
I see what you mean about the adverb useage, we should focus more on the action words, and allow for more detail...
Thanks for the info., and I'll let you know if I find something better.