Penname: midnightwriter85 [Contact] Real name: Jay
Member Since: September 14 2013
Membership status: Member
Bio:

  Like so many that come here to escape, I enjoy reading these tales too.  I'm trying to write some of my own, but I'm finding that it's a lot harder than it appears...


  Hopefully, some of this amazing talent will rub off on me!  I am trying to get better at fantasy writing, and I really appreciate getting reviews from everyone who reads.


 


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Reviews by midnightwriter85
Summary:

Ben gets in trouble and serves his punishment with his teacher.


Categories: Giantess, Body Exploration, Crush, Feet, Entrapment, Gentle, Humiliation, Insertion, Instant Size Change, Mouth Play, Unaware
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 10068 Read Count: 247636
[Report This] Published: January 30 2014 Updated: April 06 2014
Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed
Date: January 30 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Introduction

Yeah, first story's are really hard.  Might I suggest the 'writing tools' section on this site, it gives alot of really helpful tips and guidelines that will help you out enormously!

Also,'ericafreak' has a very informative story called, 'A single authors thoughs on the writing process',  it really helped me out alot....

 

*Just take your time, and have fun though...  Don't try and outperform anybody, just write for your own enjoyment, and if you like it, maybe someone else will too.

 



Author's Response: Thanks for the advice midnightwriter, I will look into it.

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed
Date: January 31 2014 Title: Chapter 2: Miss Silva

Much Better!  The spacing isn't so hard on my eye's, and it's much easier to follow.

Is English your regular language, or second?  Some sentences are slightly broken, but not, too bad...

Ex:(You wrote)  Ben walked in and decided to sit in the back wanting to watch her.  As soon as he sat down he heard Ms Silva speak to him.

___Try it like this...

Ben walked directly to the back of the class, he wanted to be able to watch this pretty teacher without anyone else noticing.  As soon as he was comfortably seated, he heard her tantilizing voice, as she directly asked him his name.

"Excuse me, what is your name?", she asked.

"Um, my name is... Ben", he whispered.

"Ben, I want you sitting up here!", she firmly spoke, pointing out one of the desks at the very front of the row and directly in front of her desk.

- Just smooth it out a little more, and keep each person speaking on a seperate line, all of their own...

* I really liked the way that she took a seat on the edge of his desk, and pointed out her hips!  NICE!   I'd be in detention all the time!  Ha!

Keep going Tom, I'd like to see more, before I actually rate, but your getting alot better!

 



Author's Response: Thanks, I will hopefully get better as a writer. Thanks for the tips. You made my sentences look much better with your example. Technically, yes, English is my 2nd language since my parents used to talk around the house in a foreign language which I grew accustomed to until pre-school. My main language is English, but I kinda started late I guess. This is my first story on any website, book, or anthing. Right now im kind of focused on content. Once again, thanks. I appreciated the review.

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstar
Date: January 31 2014 Title: Chapter 3: Detention

One thing that really bugs me, is when writers don't capitalize the letter 'I' when using it as 'first person'...

-even when it's not at the begining of a sentence.  "I walked over to the car, so that I could get my thing's", I said.  

-there were a few other little glitches too, but you would have easily caught them yourself if you'd edited a little better, so I'm not going to go into all that...

The plot was pretty good, although it seemed a bit rushed, slower and smoother always works better!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I should have mentioned this last review, but you didn't descibe Ms. Silva very much, only that she wore black dress and white shirt...

A writer could easily go on for several paragraphs just discribing the main character. As she is going to be the 'Giantess' right?

But, the content is definitely there!   Just slow down, and re-read it a couple times before posting it, and you'll probably find alot of those little discrepancies yourself...  but, you'll still mis a few, I always do!  Even the best writers occasionally do!

 



Author's Response: True, I admit I was not really proofreading much, becuase I was just so into my story, that I just kept writing rather than fixing first. As for the capital "I", I understand it can be a bug especially since I have a friend who is learning Spanish and there are upside down exclamation points which look like lowercase I's. What bugs me when I read a story is when I read something and I cant picture it in my mind. As for describing Miss Silva, I thought that if I put my dream teacher's appearance, not everyone will also see that person as attractive. I personally am turned off when a story mentions that the giantess is a blonde. I just thought that an age group and clothing are enough and I will let the reader picture their own fantasy teacher for Miss Silva. It is similiar with names too. I met some people who are not exactly attractive to me and their names when I hear, I think of that unatractive person. So I tried to go with an uncommon last name like Silva. Notice how I never mentioned Miss Silva's first name. It was originally a name that referenced a hot girl I met, but I deleted that in case people didnt fancy that name. Basically, if I said that Miss Silva was 5 foot 7, there would be some readers wishing that they were a little taller. If I said she had red hair, some people may not prefer red. Same thing with weight. I just say that she looks sexy and let the readers use their imagination to fill it up. However, if you want me to specify Miss Silva, then I shall do so.

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: February 05 2014 Title: Chapter 4: Shopping

I don't want to sound like I'm trying to take over your story, so I'll just keep it short.

Try lenghtening your sentences, add some more detailed words...

Smells, textures, sounds and feelings, discribe what Ben is seeing... Everything!



Author's Response: Hmm. I thought I did a pretty decent job with detail. I know I dont have all the senses down but I believe I had a good amount of detail, especially in the beginning. As for length, I think the length is fine for now; I probably will increase it as I write more. I think I got the details in alright. If we were comparing stories, yes, you would have the most descriptive story, but I think mine has more action within one chapter. I cant deny we have different writing styles so I understand how you want my story to be seen by your format. As for the senses: True, I dont have about anything for smells, texture, but I think I got the feelings part. Sounds? I guess I could add some, like the car ignition, but I dont think it is that necessary to add, "Ben heard the car engine roar, he knew he was in for a ride". I mean I could add it, but I think it should relate directly to Ben's experience, like the sound of Miss Silva's panties snap or something. Anyway, thanks for the review midnightwriter!

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstar
Date: February 20 2014 Title: Chapter 6: Class is in session.

You would think that Ben would be the best student of all, spending all that extra time in 'one on one sessions' with this beautiful giantess teacher... Free tootering or foot scootering, alone time in the corner or alone time in the tight gusset, and sent to the office or sent down into the clevage he's still getting alot of bang for the buck!

Ya gotta give Mis Silva credit, she definitely has held Ben's complete attention!  ;) 

 



Author's Response: You are right on the money, midnightwriter. Glad you enjoyed it!

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: April 06 2014 Title: Chapter 7: After School Tutoring.

Hole-ly Crap!  I hope he gets outta there before it's too late!  Ha!  Naw, just kiddding!  She should just keep him in there for the rest of the day...

Nice work ! 

-one bit of critique though.  Stop repeating 'Miss Silva's' name, everytime you begin a sentence.  You could just say 'Her', or 'She' instead.  The reader already knows who you're reffering to, and you don't need to keep repeating 'Miss Silva' all the time...

Other than that,  Great Chapter Tom! 



Author's Response: Thanks Midnight! You make a very valid point. I used Miss Silva's name 71 times in this chapter! I fixed it and replaced a few of them with some pronouns. Now there are only 45 'Miss Silvas' in it.

Summary:

Follow a group of shrunk down people on their adventures through a girl's school, where (most) of the girls aren't exactly what you'd call friendly towards them. Shrinkie life is tough around the Big ones, their life constantly in danger.


Categories: Violent, Giantess, Gentle, Adventure, Crush, Unaware, Vore
Characters: None
Growth: Giant (31 ft. to 50 ft.)
Shrink: None
Size Roles: FF/m
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 926 Read Count: 5880
[Report This] Published: February 09 2014 Updated: February 09 2014
Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed
Date: February 09 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: chapter 1: The Nightmare

Whoa, this is really good Nick!  Love the idea of an all girls school, (or should I say all Giantess school!)  Nice start, although... you've done what alot of others have done on their first go at it...  (I, myself included) 

Break up the text into smaller blocks....  'White space is your friend',  and it's alot easier to read, Dude! 

Great writing, can't wait for chap. two!  ;)

Summary:

Adam is desperate to fufill his dreams, not taking into account the consequences of his actions. 

 

Disclaimer: Any character's aliases are purely made by coincidence. These stories are not representative of anybody in particular. They are purely characters which have been formed through my imagination.


Categories: Butt, Giantess, Teenager (13-19), Body Exploration, Adult 30-39, Crush, Feet, Incest, Slave
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.)
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 5996 Read Count: 59233
[Report This] Published: February 12 2014 Updated: May 13 2014
Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 12 2014 Title: Chapter 1: The Dream

Extremely well developed, the scene is definitely set!  I like the set up too.  His mother being much younger than most, and the new neighbours moving in just at the right time...

The larger blocks of text is a little hard to work through.  If you could break it up just abit it would be much easier on the eyes.  Although, other than that, I have no other critic's...

Looking forward to the following chapters of this story.  It seems like you've really got a handle on where your going with it, and I can already tell that it's going to go into my favorites.

Thanks for posting it!  I'm on board!  ;)



Author's Response:

I'm glad you like it! I felt that the age of his mother was important as I have seldom read mother's being as young as Sandy is. Ah I'm sorry about that, I find that if you set the text size on 5 it is much easier to read. 

You're more than welcome and I'm very pleased you're enjoying it as much as I am. Stay tuned for further updates. 

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed
Date: February 22 2014 Title: Chapter 3: Power Shift

In chapter ll,  Adam was shrunk down to 6 inches tall (when his mother picks him up out of the middle of her bed) - then, in chapter lll he's suddenly down to 3 inches tall?

Is he slowly getting smaller, or what?    -just thought I'd point that out.

  Kinda strange for his mother to actually, 'Want' to do this to her own son, too.

On Purpose, I mean, it's just a little farfetched, I think.  Just my opinion tho', the story seemed to be getting off to a good start, but then it just felt kinda rushed after Sandy instantly puts him to work on her feet.  You would think that the fact that she just found her son shrunken down to such a miniature size that that in itself would take a little bit of 'getting used to', if you know what I mean...

I think you can still pull out of it though, maybe...

Just my  $0.02



Author's Response:

Fully taken on board, I'm going to try to adhere to these criticisms later on, thanks for reading. 

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed
Date: May 11 2014 Title: Chapter 5: Reunion

Okay,  you've somewhat redeemed his mothers previous actions.  The details of her past could've- should have, been poured out in the very first chapters.- then, it wouldn't have seemed so strange...

The fact that he's totally safe within his mothers hands, isn't very exciting though. Like the other reviewers, I'm antisipating his escape.

I really like the way that you set up each scene. Ex: the staircase, with her towering over him. Nicely described!

I'm still with ya!



Author's Response: I agree with you I could've explained back ground details a little better. Well don't commit so soon because things are about to heat up, and not just with his mother. I'm glad! Thanks for the review.

Control by Bianca Rated: X starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 11]
Summary:

A woman has shrunk various people in the course of her day and plans to have fun with them. But what she sees as fun, they may not. Will they survive the night?

 

This is a departure from my normal style and not my normal gentle fare. it will only be two or three chapters and the chapters will be fairly long. I hope you like it!


Categories: Violent, Crush, Body Exploration, Humiliation, Insertion
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 4350 Read Count: 9230
[Report This] Published: February 23 2014 Updated: February 23 2014
Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 23 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Workout

I like the title 'Control',  it nearly says it all.  I like the shoebox too. 

Don't really care for the crushing within her clevage, but forcing the winner to watch was so deviously cruel.  I'd like to see her actually keep at least one of them, maybe the guy she works with...

I can't wait to see what Kellie does next!



Author's Response:

three tinies and she can make more.....maybe she will keep one...as a security blanket?

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed
Date: February 23 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Workout

Security blanket? I don't know if he would make a very good security blanket, maybe a nipple cushion though, yeah,,, ;)



Author's Response:

Ok, blanket may have been to broad of a word, but the little guy can hope, can't he? Thank you!

Summary:

A man comes home one lazy Thursday afternoon to find things out of the ordinary, and everything suddenly takes a turn for the bizarre!

 

Some scribbles by me if your into that, although I'm gonna upload a pic-less chapter to go along for people who like using only imagination.

 

Its is a completely new writing style for me as well as a major departure from my main story, I hope you folks dig it! This is going to be a short story, 3-4 chapters, tops, then I'll be back on WOS!

 


Categories: Giantess, New World Order
Characters: None
Growth: Mega (501 ft. to 5279 ft.)
Shrink: None
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 2553 Read Count: 11297
[Report This] Published: February 27 2014 Updated: February 27 2014
Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 27 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 (pics)

Great drawings Gadget!  Continue with the artwork it's really good! 



Author's Response:

Thanks! Shorter stories really lend themselves more to this format.

Summary: A Greatly Thrilling Story of the Old West.
Categories: Giantess, Adventure, Crush, Growing/Shrinking out of clothes, Growing Woman, Instant Size Change, Violent, Vore
Characters: None
Growth: Brobdnignagian (51 ft. to 100 ft.)
Shrink: None
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: None
Series: Female Self-Gigantism Through The Ages
Chapters: 17 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 11189 Read Count: 116342
[Report This] Published: February 28 2014 Updated: September 20 2015
Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 13 2014 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Well, Red Bear is a big dude!  But, wait till Ms Cousins finishes her count down!

Half Moon will be bearing a full moon as he exits the scene.  Becky could easily just squash em' all and use Red Bear as a foot stool afterword,...  Now, THAT, I'd like to see!

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: September 03 2014 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

I'm liking Becky more and more, all the time...

She couldve completely taken over the world back then, and,... been one hell of a saloon girl TOO!  ( Whao, I just thought of 'Ms Kitty' from 'Gunsmoke' standing at fifty feet tall!)

'Holy Macker/ 'Malarkey-AL' .  'em-R some Mighty Big un's thar lil Lady!'

-



Author's Response: Super-LOL!

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: April 08 2014 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

'Slack-jawed amazement', and - I'll bet that she would have smiled at something else, that he would have had showing between his front pants pockets!  :P



Author's Response: That's assuming he would be wearing pants (rather than a breech clout). Lol!

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: April 06 2014 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Dang, that Malarkey Johnson, sure is one long-winded Yankee!  Wonder if-en, he ever took a little snort a-somthun er nuther? 

I reckon so...  heh,heh,heh



Author's Response: Danged, if that weren't a knee-slapper. X-D

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 12 2014 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Oh, so Becky's a desendent of the norse Varangant tribe. Hm, so that it explains her meanstreak then...

I wonder tho', if the lass should get a little aroused would she then grow, and take advantage of her tiny male counterpart?



Author's Response: Probably not.

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 28 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Did you just watch the '64 classic, 'A fist full of Dollars', Clint Eastwood?  The poncho reminded me of that old flick... remember that one?



Author's Response: Of course, I do. I'm even old enough to remember seeing the drive-in premier of his orang-utan movies!* * $7.00 per car; three dollars cheaper than a walk-in bargain matinee, today!

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 28 2014 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

heh, Malarkey,  I like that!



Author's Response: I was hoping someone might. ;-)