Reviewer: Pico Signed
Date: June 23 2013
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I just joined GW yesterday after a long time lurking so I can finally give reviews to the great stories I've read so far.
Without a doubt, Nova Force is my favourite story on this site. It really appeals to me being into sci-fi as well. The universe you created is very interesting, how Neco's an humans treat each other as equal species, which is the main element where you can create these wonderful interactions and relationships. Even covering working relationships, diplomatic and military connections, casual friendships and of course the romances. Bravo. This is a fantastic for my mind to wander around in and follow the escapades and hearthships of your characters.
As almost anyone I hate to give negative aspects in my review, but I have a few... let me get these out of the way quick before I start my raving about what I do like very much about Nova Force.
- The plot leaves some things unexplained. (Another reviewer pointed this out, sorry to repeat this.) It is understandable that Kikata and Richard are just a single Nova Guard team in a vast military alliance and only the top military officers get the handle all intelligence concerning the motivations of The New Order. Maybe there could have been just a chapter or a couple of paragraphs that is completely narrative in explaining what is going on in the universe outside of the main characters adventures.
- There seems to be an overuse of the verb "shrugging". :) A lot of times the characters are presented with an akward or shocking situation... and they shrug it of and go on avoiding conflict to express their honest opinion about the situation. This I found sometimes weird and the story seemed to be propelled too fast into the next situation and scenes. (Okay, I'm nitpicking here but I only do so because I think this story is very good and must go to anal about my critique.)
- I am not into breast expansion. This is a matter of personal taste and of course no fault of yours. Those where the only patches in this story that where speedbumps for me as the entire story I read through like I was in a rocket car on a salt lake. ;)
- Of course we all, the readers, were anticipating the whole story when Kikata and Richard finally get togheter. It was nice that confessed their love for each other while Richard was in her helmet. Very romantic. But to have them rush to having intercourse in the bathroom of the Nova Guard ship immediately after the rescue... I don't know... I didn't like it. Don't get me wrong, I'm into this fetisch and especially insertion with consent, but to me Kikata and Richard are more than that. They are a great couple I care much about as a fan of this story. And they are about friendship and love. The fact that they are togheter is more important to me than the urgent need to have them consume their relationship. "All you need is love." :D :p (Of course the sexual scene with Kira in this story was awesome... but to the contrast: that was lust, not love.)
Okay, with this out of the way... now on to the amazing elements I cherish in your story.
I may have strange criteria for this qualifying as my favourite story here on GW.
I read this a couple of weeks ago before I was a member. I read it all the way through back to back. It was a long read but I enjoyed every paragraph of it and I regretted the story had to come to an end eventually.
There are two scenes of this story that for some reason I kept replaying in my mind after I read it (the whole story that is). Which means you did a really great job as a writer captivating me into the story. These are the scenes:
- After Kikata breaks up with her fiancee and goes to pick up Richard from Kira's appartment when she walks out with him. She is still pissed off and a little sad about her break up. She asks sarcasticly: "How was your girlfriend?" And Richard just sat their in her palm confused and simply states: "she broke up with me." I don't imagine he was sad or hearth broke at all, since Kira was just a casual sex partner to him, but I can see him being dumbfounded processing what just happened. While it was not a dramatic experience for him... and Kikata who is carrying him had emotions of her break up running through her mind which was probably very devastating for her. I don't know why this scene keeps replaying in my mind. It's not even an important scene. But it was a point where the characters really came to life for me. I could empathize with both Kikata and Richard and I can vividly play that scene in my mind.
- The other scene that is almost imprinted in my mind is after Richard left and is in the gym on a treadmill. This scene is so well written by you. Very emotional and a bit melancholic. Kira kept talking to Kikata, and she tries to ignore her by looking over to Privya and Fisc. Great how that ended up in making up her mind for going after Richard. :) This a very beautiful moment to me, how Kikata says "I'm not letting go." Yeah, I'm a sucker for a love story.
And of course the story is full with great scenes perfectly written down. The goodbye between Kikata and Richard, the action scenes,....
Thank you for sharing this story.
Now I am waiting for you to finish Nova Force 2. :)
Cheers, and keep up the good work.
(sorry for the long review, it's because I am really infatuated by Nova Force that I want to put my opinions forward. Also english isn't my first language as you would probably deduced by now, so if I don't make sense it's because of the language barrier. Or because I'm a bit out of my mind. Probably a bit of both. ;) )