A tiny person faces the wrath of a pissed off woman.
This story is just so good it's... well, not jure if it's your best ever, but its hotness/#words ratio is surely the highest ;P
Haha, thanks for the honest critique!
A conversation during breakfast between a busy woman and a tiny man.
It's difficult to write dialogues like these without screwing up in some way -- either the characters sound stupid, or go so fast that the readers will miss the details (if there are!), or it loses its grip as it goes on.
You managed to stay out of all three (plus others I didn't think of), and do so consistently for as long as the story lasted... if I were a writer I'd have my hat in my hand right now.
Thanks a lot! I appreciate that. It was definitely challenging to keep their conversation going smooth, despite Olivia knowing he was going to die before she left the table. I'd never seen a giantess story where the two were joking about how his own death, so I tried it! Thanks for the 5 stars.
A girl who was made fun of all throughout high school for liking magic has finally found a group of girls who share her same interest, but before she can join their club, first she'll have to prove her knowledge of the dark arts.
Methinks it shold be a bit longer
Aaaaaand the formula in latin is weird, but I'm not sure if it was meant to be correct :)
Other than that it's good -- for some reason compared to the other script I felt like I had to slow down to imagine the pics; quite strange, but totally worth it.
I only wrote it as 15 pages because
A: That's what the people at GiantessFan say the length of a comic should be.
B: I thought they might be more interested in a short story like this than a two parter like Performance Reveiws.
It did feel a little bit condensed, especially for my style of writing.
In trouble with the law, Scott Stevens avoids jail time by being indefinitely shrunk and placed under the supervision of his household. Now at the 24/7 mercy of his gigantic family, Scott may have been better off going behind bars.
His clothes would have looked larger if he had shrunken smaller :)
Calling her friends is worse than I expected, and about the clothes... well, I hope for Scott's sake she's not so devious to count it as "reasonable"...
Good catch on that error. And Maggie's parameters of reasonable are very wide indeed.
A millisecond after her proposal to apologize he would have said "I will" rather than just doing it... but I guess she didn't give him the time to think about it, which is good, because knowing he's unlikely to improve his position makes his apologies more sincere I guess (or at least that's how my mind works).
More seriously, I think I've written a few times how good you are at surprising us in a way that's just so OBVIOUS after you read it, so I won't repeat it here: my only criticism is that this one time it worked only 90% as good as usual, because it wasn't very clear that/how much he'd been a jerk to her from the rest of the series.
You know, I had to write that, because (again: seriously) you have no idea how difficult it is to find something to criticize in your stories ;p
Can't wait for episode 6, let's hope it will be in 2014!
Thanks for all your reviews on this story. I see what you're saying about the apologies he gives. That was intentional; he's not really "practicing" it like she suggested, but rather just kind of stewing in his own bitterness at himself and the situation. I realize I haven't given a ton of background on the characters to suggest Scott really was so terrible to Maggie in the years before; however, it's probably safe to assume Scott is just trying to make himself sound worse than he actually was in order to be forgiven more quickly. And I fully intend for the 6th one to be posted in 2014, though I'm sure someone will call me on it if it's not.
If it were me, I'd probably be on the verge of insanity. Or suicide. Or something... if he had ever been thinking of changing his mind and going to jail, he's just lost that option -- and that's just one of many, many consequences that came into my mind (after just a couple of days!), picked basically at random.
Luckily for us, I'm not him :)
PS
I've probably already written this, but given that I feared that there wouldn't be a fifth installment, your reply to dudeduderson2000's comment is greaaaaaat news!
Thanks for reading. As dark a notion as it is, those ideas of Scott's mental state have crossed my mind too, but rest assured he'll have a new lease on life before this story is up. And there definitely will be a 6th part, though when it comes out is anyone's guess (including mine).
Wtf... I can understand he was in such a situation that the instinct to cover himself didn't kick in, but why on earth didn't he do it when she told him to do it?
Anyway, I totally agree with zephilia: instagram was a neatly idea, and well played -- after the phone I didn't expect anything worse to happen in the last couple of lines, and I guess Scott didn't as well :)
Thanks for reviewing. I know it made logical sense for Scott to do as he was told, but these stories would probably be pretty boring if he was capable of rational thinking. I'd been wanting to use that Instagram idea for a while and realized this was a fitting place, so I'm glad you thought it worked.
I was going to write that for the 1st time I'm actually curious what Maggie is planning, but you beat me to it with a new chapter... oh well XD
This may not be a stroke of genius like "my phone broke", but
Other than shrinking him herself, I'm afraid to think what she'll be doing.
Hell, I think I'll read it.
Nothing you ever say or write will convince that the papers she's been working on aren't part of whatever surprise she's preparing...
Not a bad guess. Keep in mind, too, that I'm not planning on revealing all of Judy's ploy during this particular story.
Zephilia said it best.
Now I'll go and save the current version :)
I almost guessed what she would be doing this time, except that I didn't think she would have anything more specific than "sore/tired feet", and I was pretty sure she would complain about having to take he family to the trial rather than spending time working on the case.
But since you said you were curious to hear what we thought was going to happen, I'll try...
Short term, I thought that, since he's being punished 24/7, she'd make him take care of her shoes - she wouldn' have worn them so much on her own after all, and I wonder if she'd actually take them off while he's cleaning them :)
Long term, I have a couple of alternatives in mind:
If I had to bet, I'd pick option #1, but I think I'll wait and see what you have planned -- with so many variables involved (size, sister, ...) it's difficult to make correct predictions, and experience tells me it's worth to wait.
Thanks for reading, and some interesting guesses there. Maggie's section is coming up soon, where I think readers are going to see the more intense action of the story, though Judy's still got some surprises up her sleeves, especially in later installments of the series.
"Awaiting another sentence". Assuming that her law proposals are still just in her head... ok, I was speculating what may be next, but it was turning out to be such a long comment I decided to just wait, since you've already made up your mind.
(But I'll assume anyway that whatever new law she hs in her mind is still just in her mind, so whatever whe has decided its only going to be his first surprise -- you did mention this story would be a bit longer after all :)
Thanks for reading. For future reference, I am often curious to hear what people think is coming up next in a story (regardless of accuracy), so don't mind that. You are right that Judy's got a couple more surprises waiting for Scott. I've only posted half the chapters so far.
The way she dealt the news to him is one of the things I love about Judy, but really -- what's with this kind of teasing? Aren't you supposed to be good at Christmas? ;p
Tnx riczar for asking about his gf -- she's my 2nd favorite character in the series, and even if I thought she would have some part in this story, it's good to hear she will be back.
And in case the next chapter takes more than 24 hours, merry Xmas everyone!
I don't think even Judy could resist some teasing on Christmas.
Looks like even #2 didn't teach him anything; even Susan was too soft on him :)
The beacon is a good idea btw -- I thought the story would involve some officer checking him from time to time, but an automatic device makes more sense.
PS
About Zephilia&AdamX's comments: I'm really really glad there won't be M/m; and the best one imho was the 1st episode, because I read it expecting "just another story", and so its goodness took me completely by surprise :)
(Also because it was his&Ella's first time, and again, that's a bit difficult to replicate in a sequel)
Thanks for the review. At first I thought I'd go with the officer checking in, before realizing all the fun possibilities the beacon brings in for the story.
I swear I thought the chapter would end with a "thank you" ;p
Other than that, I'll try to only comment every few chapters (unless you have the whole plot completed already): you probably already know what I think of this series, and I don't want to slow you down ot make you doubt your choices.
I should double check my web history, but I've got a feeling you've been making me visit this site much more often than usual in the last few days.
Thanks for the review. Glad to know you're interested in what happens enough to keep coming back. On the "thank you" that you expected from Judy, as you'll see soon, her mood is just a little too cold this time around for formalities.
@riczar a possible explanation is that the judge specified how long while Scott wasn't listening, right before the beginning of the chapter; he knows it's supposed to be less than how long he'd endup being in jail, but he just didn't listen how much, and his family will find out and react (his mom will be even more disappointed, hi sister will laugh about it... you get the idea).
OR "indefinitely" means that something's going to happen afterwards -- new world order can be anything after all.
Or maybe... ok, you all get the idea, and I did say I wouldn't comment on each teeny tiny detail; sorry, I couldn't resist :)
(tnx for giving me something to look for while rereading it anyway)
I like your thinking. I will also point out that "indefinite" means there's no specified length, referring to the fact that Scott will go up for review eventually.
Yes, the image it makes perfectly sense, what I'm not sure about (remember that English is a foreign language for me) is how to interpret "to pull on her stocking": I thought that "to pull on" == "to put on", and therefore it sounded to me like she was doing the opposite action -- totally absurd. So if I understand correctly she is not "pulling on" her stocking, she is "pulling" and the action is "on her stocking" as in "applied to her stocking"? (tn xfor your patience anyway :)
Author's Response: I see your confusion. I find trying to explain this stuff entertaining. Basically, when I say "pull on" I'm not talking about pulling it up her leg and foot, I'm talking about pulling on the end of it that she has in her fingertips, meaning it's slowly peeling its way down her foot and off. I realize it's an awkward action to describe, it's just that for really intricate interactions like putting on or taking off clothes in a specific way, a little awkwardness in phrasing is probably going to happen. I just had a very particular image in my head and had to do my best to show it.
Much better than toy teacher >:-)
Seriously, thic counts as a Christmas surprise.
Can't wait to see the new world order...
Merry early Xmas to all I guess! Thanks for reading.
So, looks like I've been finally able only once every two chapters :)
Fwiw count me in the group that prefers "subtle giantesses" rather than Maggie -- partially style, and partially the fact that whatever she has in mind Scott won't see it coming: the last chapter showed both of them, it was really THAT great.
And I can't stop thinking about that italicized "home" in "Welcome home"...
PS
There's something which is not clear to me in chapter 5, "...then proceeding to pull on her stocking until it slipped tautly off the ends of her thick toes". Should it be "pull off" or am I misunderstanding something?
Thanks for reading. I've already preferred at least one "subtler" giantess in the stories I read, so I try to do the same in the ones I write. I realize that last description you mentioned looks kind of awkward. What I was going for was the image of her tugging on the stocking and then just holding onto it in one place while the tension in it just slid the rest of the way down her foot and off her toes, if that makes sense.
I didn't use to comment much in the last few years, but let me just tell you that this series is GREAT, and since this website isn't exactly the first thing that pops into my mind when Christmas is approaching, I'm always surprised when I see a new installment (yep, even if it sounds stupid :)
Other than that, this chapter is the best so far (I have yet to read chapters 6-10 though).
Thanks a lot, both of you!
