Reviewer: Sovereign Signed
Date: November 24 2020
Title: Chapter 64: Epilogue
Rating of the whole story: 7/10.
I can say right now, your strengths are that youre descriptive. You know how to set up a story and setting and youre very good at dialogue. One of the things i really enjoyed as a whole of this entire series was the character developement of shannon and a few of the others. How their quirks were slowly revealed. It was like reading an official book.
This leads me to talk about the shortcomings too: first, i would say remove the vore tag. Apart from 2 mouthplay situations... the vore is beyond an utter disappointment as there basically is none and this undeserving of the tag which can be misleading to vore hopefuls. If you desire examples on good vore stories where the prey survives, i can recommedn "Holly the freshman" and "a weekend adventure". Those show vore and mouth done superbly.
Another thing is when you have a 60 plus chapter story, its hard not to make situations repetetive. It actually became alittle laborious to read through near identical situations where Chris is underfoot/in ass/in pussy shouting the same help me lines from 3 chapters before. The only thing that kept me from skimming over them was my desire to be thorough so i can present a valid review.
All in all: great story telling, developement and descriptive events.
Work on: fulfilling vore when it is a tag, avoiding overusing repetetive situations and lines excessively.
All in all a solid series
Author's Response: First off, thank you so much for your review. This type of review categorizing my strengths and weaknesses really does help me grow and improve as a writer.
To each of your points, I went ahead and removed the “Vore” tag because you were correct, there was really only one chapter (plus an alternate) that dealt with mouth play.
When I started this project, I wasn’t expecting it to turn out as long as it was. If I’d have known I was writing a novel, I would’ve changed several things at the beginning of the story, and several others moving forward. Since you read the whole thing, you could probably tell the writing improved as the story progressed, and I agree, several things became repetitive, probably because I had so many things I wanted to have happen with several characters.
Moving forward, I’m planning out my stories better, and trying to gage how long my future stories with be before I even start writing. If you haven’t checked them out yet, I urge you to read my short story, “Honey, Don’t Squish Me”, and my current multi-chapter project, “With Great Power...”.
Thanks for reading!