Chapter 4: Smiting

Etris’s idea of shrinking down still had her at a few miles tall. Utixx sighed internally, though she didn’t bring it up. It was still a vast improvement. As before, the orb of green misty light hovered by her student’s shoulder.

The blonde divine loomed over a battlefield stretching tens of miles in width. Her sudden appearance cast a decent shadow on the two fighting forces concentrated to her front. The mortal combatants paused for just a moment before getting right back into their brawl with one another.

Soldiers clad in titanium power suits battled towering and bewitching women with hooves, horns and hardly, if any, clothes. Red, blue and white flags were painted on the side of clunky square war machines, treaded with spikes at their top to dissuade stomping. Not well enough it’d seem, as a toned 300ft tall woman with broad antlers stamped her hoof down on one of them. The monster-woman lifted up her furred leg and cackled at the mess left bellow. Soldiers nearby activated their jet-packs and flew at the towering she-beast, firing their rifles at thick skin. Around that titan, smaller though still giant monster-women of various sizes tussled with combatants of their own.

“What are those creatures?” asked Etris.

“The soldiers below call them demons--or Canadians. You see, the human nation you stand on is known as the United States of America, or ‘USA’. At this point in time, it’s made up of 37 ‘states’, each of which played a role in irradiating their neighbor nation to the North hundreds of years ago. This act transformed those people into part-beast. Since then, the two sides have been at constant war.”

That gigantic monster-woman from before yanked up one of the flying soldiers. Her fingers crunched up his power suit, rendering him immobile. The red war paint on her fair cheeks spread as she smiled. Her maw then opened wide and she swallowed the armored man whole. A horrid fate in her stomach awaited. The organ was rife with acids and smelling of the spruce and poplar trees which made up most of her diet.

Etris stroked her chin. “And why are all these Canadians women?”

“They aren’t. The males just stay north and lay the eggs. Anyways, this war has been going on long enough. That large demoness is Debra the Devourer. She’s the Warrior Queen of Canada, and personally fights in every battle.”

Professor Utixx hovered towards the south end of the war zone. “You see that golden armored man?”

Etris did. Several steps (from her height) to her left was an unhelmeted, grizzled speck of a human. He watched the battle from afar with some high-tech binoculars, surrounded by elite guards. Once in awhile he’d bark orders into his collar-mic.

“That’s General Shux, in charge of the entire USA military here. Those two are the leaders of each side.” Said Utixx.

The orb hovered back to Etris’s side, and the professor continued talking.

“Now, for this portion of the exam your goal is to get them to stop fighting. As deity to this planet’s people, be they fully human or part beast, you shouldn’t tolerate wars of this length. It’s a very solemn affair, but occasionally a deity must use some of their power to put some down some mortals to make a point. Even now they are more focused on their grudges with one another than on your deific presence. I think of all my students, if any know how to hold attention here, it’d be you Etris.” Utixx finished up with a small chuckle.

Etris smile, of course she’d be the best at this. In her mind, she’s been perfect at everything so far.

“I think I understand what needs to be done to bring this war to an end.”, she said.

When Etris next spoke, it was heard by the two sides below. Her voice thundered with authority.

“Mortal humans and beast-women. You may not have heard of me yet, but I am Etris and your planet’s new god. I’ve heard you have been fighting for far too long. This displeases me, and so I’ve come bring an end to this war once and for all.”

She raised foot up high and swayed it above the battlefield’s center. Toes wiggled up above as the forces shivered in awe. Even the Warrior Queen herself was but a bug to such a godly being.

“Demons win.”

Etris moved her foot over a swath of the human forces and stepped down. Rifts in the Earth cascaded from the step like cracks in a dropped plate. The fissures swallowed up more troops from each side. The student twisted her foot to and fro, humming happily to herself as the humans began to fall back. The Warrior Queen bent her knees and bowed to this great patron of theirs, and all her warriors followed suit. From afar, General Shux watched in horror and confusion.

Professor Utixx seethed in that globe of hers. Her misty form alighted in a roil. If she had eyes, they’d be twitching like mad. “What?!? No you aren’t supposed to pick sides here!”

“I don’t understand professor, I just ended the conflict. Well, I suppose there are still a few left.”

Etris lifted up her foot and set its big toe atop a few more hundred armored troops. The digit dragged along the battlefield, making the trench it formed their graves. Utixx yelled out again.

“Stop! Stop!”

Etris did so with a groan. “I don’t understand. I’m doing as this part of the exam requires.”

“No no, you were supposed to make a show of force then end the war peacefully! Both sides have some grievances with each other. As a god, you should see above the petty squabbling and move the people of this planet towards the most advantageous compromise. That way, no side is too unhappy.”

Etris looked at Utixx as though the professor’s words were the dumbest thing she ever heard.

“Work towards a compromise? But I like the demons better.”

Utixx saw the student wouldn’t get the point.

“Look, it’s part of the grading criteria.”

Etris frowned. “Fine fine.” She then addressed the mortals below. “Never mind, change of plans.”

She held out her right hand and thought a thought. The elite guards of General Shux frittered and fussed as their general disappeared from their careful watch. The soldier in Debra the Devourer’s hand breathed a sigh of relief as the Warrior Queen also vanished, though he now found himself falling a couple hundred feet to the ground once free from her clutch.

The two commanders appeared on the blonde deity’s landscape of a palm. Debra’s hooves stumbled for a moment on this unfamiliar, soft surface, and the much smaller General Shux certainly had a lot of adjusting to do. If not careful, he could easily get his feet caught in the deep wrinkles of the hand. Warmth emanated from the fair skin below, and both guests turned up towards that enormous, softly glowing face above.

“Greetings mortals. I, your god, have called you here to hash out your differences with one another to end the war. I’m sure you have a lot of discussing to do.”

From Etris’s perspective, both these creatures were positively puny. Shux stood at about a tenth of an inch to her immensity, with the 300ft tall Debra coming up only at half-an-inch in comparison. The size differential mattered little to her: both were trivial little creatures. Shux, however, looked up to the Warrior Queen licking her lips and shuddered. Fear notwithstanding, he did as the did as this self-proclaimed deity ordered.

He spoke. “Our Military won’t rest till the invasions stop. I know we haven’t been perfect these past centuries, but the current demands of the Canadian nation would ravage our econo-”

Debra the Devourer took a step toward the general, knocking him over with the force of her hoof hitting the divine’s perfect skin. Etris giggled at the ticklish sensation and, through her mirth, didn’t care to stop the Warrior Queen from devouring the General, as was the demon’s namesake. A small bulge disappeared down the female’s neck, and her rival commander now screamed and sizzled in her guts. A churn sent him under a bolus of mushy trees and the bones of some of his men. The antlered women pat her stomach and grinned, then walked to the edge of Etris’s hand to cheer down at her forces below.

Etris stopped laughing and processed the events. “Oh, you weren’t supposed to do that you know!” she said, chastising the Demon Queen. The hooved woman turned around and started bowing at once, lavishing the divine student in praise.

“Hmm, well that does make things a bit better.”

Utixx was incensed. “What are you doing Etris! You can’t just let her eat the rival commander like that. Your ruining the trust of the humans. This is a prime example of when a mortal must be dealt with. As it stands, that action of Debra’s will only further exacerbate the grudges and war.”

Etris rolled her eyes: very visible now that they weren’t just orbs of pure light. She was getting sick of the professor’s ‘hints’ which felt more and more like dumb nitpicks.

“If you say so.” she cleared her throat and let her voice wash over the mortals on the battlefield.

“This war must end. The Warrior Queen has acted in haste devouring the general, and must be punished!”

Etris had to think fast. How to punish such a transgression? Many ideas floated through her mind until...

‘Ah ha, how poetic. If someone pokes out an eye, they should lose an eye in turn. If a someone eats another then...’

Etris opened her mouth wide, and the supplicating monster-woman trembled at the sight. The divine was fairly authentic with this body’s design, and it featured all the teeth and saliva-strands of a human maw. The student chucked Debra inside with a flick of her hand.

Utixx watched on in, as usual, horror. Etris swished the demon leader around, making some unabashed slurping noises all the while. Soon the deity swallowed and Debra, leg-fur matted with saliva, slid right down her throat. The demoness didn’t last long in the deity’s gut. The fleshy walls and floor churned incessantly, and the student definitely overshot potency of her digestive fluids.

“Oh wow, you all don’t taste half-bad.” she quietly mused. Her hand tapped at her cute little belly, within digested the leader of an entire nation.

Back to addressing the two sides.

“Ok, both your leaders are dead so, let’s stop the war now please. Divine orders and all that.”

The sides looked to each other for but a moment, then took up fighting again. Etris’s impatience flared up, and her eyes with it. She stomped her foot on a cluster of the forces, then bellowed in a radiant thoom.

“Now!”

Terrified and wounded, both sides retreated. Etris crossed her arms and smiled smug and self-satisfied.

“That’s better.”

Professor Utixx sighed.

“Well, you ended the war but with far more causalities than I expected. Killing the two leaders also has far reaching consequences for the mortal nations. I can’t believe I’m saying this to you of all people, but this practical exam is going so poorly I think we should just skip the final portion o-”

“What?!? Poorly?”

Etris turned her whole body towards the globe of mist. Her titanic foot carelessly thudded down atop some retreating soldiers in the process.

The student continued.

“I’ve done all the tasks asked. Not only have I never failed an exam in my life, but I’ve always finished first and flawless. Nothing was wrong with my performance, just your evaluation!”

There was a furor in her voice, but that sort of righteous indignation wasn’t something Utixx hadn’t seen before. The professor responded with patience.

“Etris your written exam was flawless, true, and no one is denying your intelligence or innate powers. Still, in my trillions of years teaching this course at Omnimento University I’ve never once had a student cause this much trouble for the sapients on the practical test. Don’t worry, even with the messes you’ve made, with my generous grading you’ll still finish with a B+ in th-”

“B+?!?” Etris’s hair and eyes began to glow gold, leaking her true radiance out a bit. “That’s not fair!” her voice crackled with a piercing hum. The dim light on her skin flared up and engulfed the grass by her feet, leaving behind dirt toasted to glass. A few more humans seared away too.

“Etris please!” said Utixx. “I just don’t want you hurting the people of this planet anymore. I can reset the damage but I see no need for more suffering when I can’t see ho-”

“What’s the last portion of the practical? Am I not entitled to take it?”

Professor Utixx sighed. “It’s examining the final devotion of the mortals, but based on what you’ve done so far I’m not sure how much praise you can reliably collect. The humans are surely terrified of you; even the fierce savage demons of Canada fear you. I’m not sure you’ll do well enough to increase your grade.”

“Just you wait!” she replied. “I’ll show you, I’ll make them all bow to my undeniable greatness.”

“That’s not w-” The professor cut off herself this time with another exasperated sigh.

She could always just rewind the universe after.

“Ok ok, we’ll do the final part of the exam but even if it doesn’t go too well you have to be unders-”

“Wonderful!” interrupted Etris. her eyes and hair calmed back down.

“Let’s get started then!”, said the student.

The two of them teleported to another city.