Chapter Six

Later on, long after the sun had gone down, Jason was lying awake in his bed. He was once again suffering from the plague of insomnia — he tossed and turned in his sheets, he tried to sleep without the sheets, he tried laying on his stomach, and finally he tried sleeping in the fetal position (even though he hated it). But nothing was working. He was too aware of the obstinate thump of his own heartbeat. He started getting angry at various things that he selectively blamed for his inability to sleep. These dorm rooms were too cold…he had the jitters because it was still the first week of college…screw classes anyway…he would’ve been able to sleep a lot more soundly if only Eve was there, snuggling him. Eve…Eve…

Jason’s thoughts started to spiral in on themselves as he fixated on his girlfriend. Deep down, he knew that this fixation on her was the true reason why he couldn’t sleep. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop thinking about the sex that they had had earlier that day. However, unlike the lightness and warmth of his previous private musings about their past sexual experiences, this time Jason’s thoughts were anxious and troubled.

Eve had seemed different. One of the best parts of being in a relationship with her for so long was seeing how much she came to embrace her own sensuality. When Eve and Jason had started dating around two years before, Eve was quite shy about sex, having had no previous experience. Gradually, though, she became more and more comfortable with her own body, and senior year she truly blossomed, at least as far as Jason was concerned. She had developed a penchant for blowjobs, and she clearly enjoyed giving Jason pleasure, and delighted in her ability to do so. She would look at him with those big brown eyes, with his cock in her mouth, blinking slowly each time she went down on his thick shaft. And gradually, the more sex they had, Eve started to make more and more sounds. Whereas before she had been quiet and timid, now she had no qualms letting out loud pleasured moans, and even occasionally screams when Jason went at it hard. By the start of senior year she had started swallowing his semen, and by the end of it Jason was fully convinced that she sometimes actually craved to eat it. Her sexual appetite metamorphosized until Jason realized that she was actually instigating sex more than he was. The shy and awkward high school sophomore had truly burgeoned into a dynamic and sensuous woman. 

But now things were different — they were in uncharted territory. In the dark, Jason reached up and felt his earlobe and the side of his neck. Both had been bruised from Eve’s biting…she had never done that before. In and of themselves, Jason didn’t mind the bruises so much. But it was what they signified that bothered him: Eve’s sexual aggression, her…dominance over him. It had been so acute, so out in the open, during their sex that afternoon, and it left him feeling empty, scared, and…small. 

Over and over, in his head, he played her words: “I’m not done,” she had growled down at him as he shot his load deep inside her within 2 minutes of starting. “I’m not stopping…I want more.” Jason had never heard Eve talk like that…never seen her face so wild and savage, so transported by lust. And as he lay there in his bed, jostling anxiously around his mattress, he was sure that there had been something else in her face…something that worried him deeply. When he had succumbed in record time to the roll of her hips and cried out that he was going to cum, she had snarled two words: “Do it!” On the surface, these words were sexy, and even just remembering how she had said them was enough to make Jason hard all over again. 

However, there was something else behind those words — Jason was sure of it. She had spoken them in…irritation. In disappointment. Perhaps even in anger. She was upset with him for being weak and not being able to last long inside her. She was mad that he couldn’t match the strength of her vigor, of her lust. Yes, there was no getting around it; he flipped again on his bed and pulled the sheets tighter over his body. Eve thought that he couldn’t hang with her. She thought that she was too much for him…too virile…too advanced. Clearly, she had desires that he couldn’t satisfy. As the waves of anxiety crashed over his insides in the dark, he remembered how she had continued to ride him even after he had cum. She had been gyrating her hips like crazy, going around and around on his dick as she pushed down forcefully on his bare chest with both hands. It had felt like she was trying to push him through her mattress. Jason had kept trying to thrust up into her after his orgasm, but after only about half a minute he had stopped and simply lay there exhausted, breathing heavily as Eve continued to slam herself down on his cock. 

The minutes were ticking off Jason’s clock as the night deepened, but his mind kept racing. This was another moment that was giving him anxiety as he pored over the encounter. After he had slowed his thrusts to a halt, Eve had kept bashing her big hips down on him for a few more moments, but then she suddenly uttered what sounded to Jason like a loud scoff. Right then, she had looked straight into his eyes and shook her head. It all happened so fast that Jason wasn’t even sure it was real, that he was just imagining things in his late-night anxiety stupor. But he remembered it; he had seen it. And right after, Eve had suddenly pivoted herself around, still impaled on his dick, and proceeded to buck ride him reverse-cowgirl for the next several minutes. Jason had been treated to a delicious view of her bulbous ass bouncing and rolling and twirling around on his cock, but this view had been tempered by the awful realization that she had turned around because she was trying to make herself cum…and because looking at Jason wasn’t going to help her reach her climax. In fact, it might even prevent her orgasm altogether. By turning around, she was excluding him, and worse, she was saying that he wasn’t good enough, that he was inadequate to her needs. 

After a few minutes of this reverse-cowgirl riding, and moaning out away from Jason into her bedroom, Eve had slid off his cock and onto the bed next to him. She was breathing heavily, and her body was dripping with sweat. Jason was breathing pretty hard too, but there was nothing close to as much sweat on his body — he had not been working nearly as hard or as vigorously. It was obvious to both of them that Eve had climbed off his cock because it had gotten too soft to ride. They lay there next to each other, panting for a few moments. 

“Did you cum?” ventured Jason hesitantly after a few moments. He felt like he had to ask, just to get it out in the open. He knew that she hadn’t, and the pain of his own inadequacy was already starting to smart. By asking the question, it could seem like he at least was thinking about her, and cared whether or not she came. 

“I don’t…I don’t know,” panted Eve up at the ceiling. Jason knew that she was being nice — this is what she said when she hadn’t cum but didn’t want him to feel insecure. But Jason wasn’t just going to accept that this time. Her sexual ferocity and domination — and the fact that she had just truly “topped” him for the first time — had startled him and made him feel deficient in a new way. He wanted to stop his self-esteem from hemorrhaging, and the only way to do that now was to bring his girlfriend to orgasm.

“Well…uh…if you don’t know, then that means you probably didn’t,” said Jason. He hated how petty his words sounded in the air, especially in the air which had so recently been suffused and pierced by Eve’s primal moans and cries. “Here, let me eat you out,” he had said quickly, and then made a move down toward her hips. But Eve, without looking at him (as her eyes remained fixed on the ceiling) had reached over and grabbed his upper arm, in a motion of hinderance. 

“No,” she said, still panting. “No, that’s…that’s ok, babe. I’m good.” 

“Whaaaat?” asked Jason in a mock high-pitched voice. “Haha, come on Eve, let me make you cum. I know you want it.” 

“I don’t, actually,” she said flatly, with her eyes still on the ceiling. Jason felt those words go through him like daggers, and he drew back a little. Eve seemed to immediately recognize how her tone sounded, or how it made Jason react, and she turned over to face him in her bed. Her face was red, and her chestnut-brown hair was wild and unkempt, and matted to her cheeks. Her eyes were still burning with something of that lustful fire, but it was fast going out. She blinked slowly at him and smiled. She looked tired. 

“It’s all right Jason, really…I’m fine. That was…whooo! Wow, that was some intense sex there, huh?”

“Yeah!” said Jason shakily, trying to forget the flat sound of Eve’s voice when she told him that she didn’t want him. 

“Like…haha, wow! I don’t know what came over me just there!” Eve laughed. Jason felt a little warmth start to creep back into his stomach. Eve was seeming more like herself now. 

“I guess it’s just cause you make me so horny,” added Eve, reaching over to Jason and rubbing her hand lovingly across his upper chest. Jason almost shuddered at her touch; her hand was so warm…so brimming with energy. 

“Ha! Well…whatever you say, babe!” laughed Jason. They proceeded to cuddle and watch some Netflix, and Jason soon forgot his fears. 

But now that he was back alone in his dorm room and lying awake as the night passed him by, Jason had returned to stew on all these details. The more he thought about them, the more worried he became that Eve was growing past him, getting better than him…becoming an adult quicker. And it wasn’t just their sex that was making him feel this way — it was everything else too. Eve’s whole take-the-bull-by-the-horns attitude to college really did clash with his own surly and haphazard approach to his living situation and his classes. And when he had run into her that day, after she had already gone to the gym, she had just looked so…good…so put-together. It had totally clashed with his bedraggled appearance…enough to make those jerks watching them snicker and laugh about how Eve was out of his league. 

It certainly didn’t help that she was 5 inches taller than him. Their height difference just seemed to underscore everything else that was happening. Jason cringed as he remembered how Eve had loomed over him in those platform heels, at a towering 6’7, 11 whole inches taller than him. Eve was dead-set on wearing those heels to the homecoming dance, which was only a couple weeks away. The prospect of going to the dance almost an entire foot under his girlfriend filled Jason with dread. He looked over at the clock. Good grief, it was already 5 am. 

Right then and there, Jason resolved to do better. He might not be able to increase his 5’8 frame, but he could get stronger. He could develop more endurance for sex. He made a pact with himself to work out harder, and more often. He resolved to get on a good schedule…to eat more…to go to his classes…to make A’s. He wasn’t going to let Eve pass him by. He was gonna be right there with her, kicking ass. Half an hour later he finally managed to fall asleep, with a determined scowl on his face. 

The next day, he went to his morning classes and exchanged some silly texts with Eve. She had another math club meeting in the afternoon, which gave Jason the perfect time slot to go to the gym and get a good workout in. He walked in with his head held high and his chest puffed out. This was going to be good…exactly what he needed. He was gonna go for the full-body workout today: bench press, squats, deadlifts. The whole shebang. He warmed up on the bench press, doing a couple sets of 145 lbs, before he slid on two 35-lb plates onto each end. 

“Woah there,” said a voice behind him. “You want a spot or something?” 

He turned around and saw Lauren standing there, with her hands on her hips, smirking at him. As always, she looked great. Her thick curves were squeezed into skin-tight black exercise pants that only went down to her mid-thigh, blatantly showcasing the luscious contours of her legs. She was wearing a tight black t-shirt that went well with her dyed jet-black hair. As long as Jason had known her, Lauren had been a total goth — sharp black fingernails, black lipstick (even in the gym!?), black everything. But this was the first time he had ever seen her in a gym before, and it suddenly made sense to him why Lauren was so solid and well-formed. She worked out. And looked great doing it too. 

“Ahaha,” chuckled Jason, recovering himself quickly. “No, I think I’m ok, actually. But you know, you can watch if you wanna learn a thing or two.” He knew that Lauren liked playing games, and he would have been lying to himself if he didn’t enjoy playing them with her…most of the time, at least. 

“Oho!” she laughed. “Listen to the stud! Big talk for someone weaker than me.” 

“Yeah ok Lauren,” laughed Jason, rolling his eyes as he sat down on the bench. “After I do three sets of 5 with 205 here, I’ll let you throw a couple more plates on. Hell, I’ll even watch you bang out the reps!” 

“Oh I know you can bench more than me,” laughed Lauren, putting up her hands. “No argument there. My personal best is 160.”

“Really, 160?” asked Jason, despite himself. “That’s actually pretty good.”

“Yeah whatever, I’ll get better,” snapped Lauren with a roll of her eyes as she waved her hand. “But I’m talking about squats.” 

“Huh? Haha, oh, you mean you think your legs are stronger than mine?” laughed Jason. 

“Well, they’re definitely bigger,” said Lauren. She walked over next to him and flexed her leg lengthwise, right in his face. Jason saw the taut firmness of her thigh swell with her flex, and he had to admit, her thigh looked pretty damn good. 

“Well come on!” she chided. “Stand up to compare!” 

“Haha, no way Lauren,” laughed Jason, glancing down at his own leg and realizing that she was right. He had big muscular legs, but Lauren had a womanly thickness on her limbs that he could never hope to have. Plus she was a couple inches taller, and the fact that her legs were both bigger and longer seemed to accentuate the size disparity. He knew that Lauren would keep goading him, so he proceeded to lie down on the bench and bust out 5 reps with 205. He racked the bar and sat up, breathing hard as he smiled up at Lauren, who was standing there with her hips cocked to the side and her tongue sticking into the inside of her cheek. 

“Hmm, impressive,” she said appreciatively. “For a minute there I’d forgotten why you deserved someone like Eve.”

“You know what? It makes me so happy to know that I carry the “Lauren” stamp of approval,” said Jason in mock earnestness. Lauren smiled wider, and she jammed her tongue a couple times into the inside of her cheek. She loved these kinds of teasing exchanges. She was also not complaining about getting to watch a guy as strong as Jason hammer out some bench press reps with some pretty hefty weight. While it was true that Lauren was primarily a top, and most enjoyed dominating her much-smaller boyfriend William, she could still appreciate some more traditional displays of masculinity. She shamelessly watched Jason finish his bench press workout.

“Wowww, I’m a little jealous of Eve,” she chuckled after Jason was finished. “I bet you two have some pretty wild sex, huh?” Jason’s mind shot back unpleasantly to the day before, and anxiety swelled briefly inside him. But he shook it off with a laugh. 

“If you only knew,” was all he said in response. 

“Pity, though, that I’m gonna beat you at squats,” teased Lauren, jumping around topics like she always did. It was a technique she used to stay in control. 

“Well come on then!” said Jason enthusiastically, walking over to the squat rack. “Let’s have a little competition then!” Lauren’s legs might have been bigger than his, but there was no way that they were actually stronger. He was going to enjoy showcasing that fact. He heard Lauren whistle and snap her fingers. Seemingly from nowhere, her boyfriend William emerged, carrying her towel and gym bag. He looked comically overwrought as he carried the bulky bag, shuffling over to his much-larger girlfriend. Lauren impassively took the towel off his neck, wiped her face, and then hung it back around him, as if he were a towel rack. She walked over to join Jason and William followed, looking like her dutiful and subservient younger brother in the process. 

Jason watched all of this with a mixture of fascination and aversion. There it was again…that discomfort he felt around William. He just looked so…measly next to Lauren. And yet, he totally seemed to own it. He looked slightly up at Jason and cracked a smile. 

“Hey Jason,” he said simply. 

“Uh, hey!” said Jason. “Uhh…not working out today?”

“William doesn’t work out,” said Lauren as she stood on one foot, stretching her quad out. “His job is to carry my bags, not get stronger. Haha, as if he could lift anything with those puny limbs. Look at them!” 

Jason tried to ignore Lauren’s comment, but it was hard to. He looked slightly down at William (who at 5’6 was only a couple inches shorter than Jason), and William gave him another impassive smile. Jason just didn’t know what to make of this dude.

“Ok, Mr. Wrestler, rack em’ up!” said Lauren excitedly. “Let’s see who’s got the stronger legs.”