I’m about one inch tall. A toy of sorts, like an action figure. Two women stare down at me.

“He’s for me?” says the blonde with glasses.

“Yeah,” says Sophia. “My gift. He’s tiny, he responds to you just like a real person would. He’s fun, you’ll see.” You’re all too familiar with Sophia.

“He looks delicate,” says the blonde girl.

“Go on, ask him a question…”

The blonde woman moves her enormous face closer. “What’s your name?”

“John...”

“John...” The woman repeats, her echo much louder than the original sound. “I’m Amelia. I’m so happy to meet you!” I force a smile but am not sure why. I’m not really smiling. I walk towards Amelia, who is crouching to get a better look at me. “He’s walking up to me!” Amelia laughs. “He’s a robot or something, right?”

“Something like that,” says Sophie.

Wincing, I remember that I’d almost forgotten who I used to be. A real man, flesh and blood, just like any other.

I’d had my own life too. Or I thought I did. I look up into Amelia’s eyes and try to figure out what she wants with me. What little control I have over the situation is slipping away. “What would you like to do?”

“I don’t know…” Amelia says.

“You must want something. I don’t want to disappoint you.” I’m trying to ingratiate myself. Amelia laughs, and pokes my chest with her finger, almost knocking me over.

“Come on little guy… chin up.” Amelia scoots forward and places her finger under my chin, lifting it up. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” I say. It’s been a very long time since I thought about that.

“Anything’s possible,” she says. “Just tell me what you want?”

I’m very confused. Images flash through my head. “I want…” I feel the words fall out of my mouth. “Would you hold me?”

“Okay,” she says. “I will.” I blink, suddenly aware of my position as a tiny toy, powerless.

Sophia says: “You two love birds have fun okay? I’m going to watch some wrestling.”

Soon I’m sitting on the warmth of Amelia’s palm. She carries me around, and we talk. I like her a lot. She has a job at a movie theater. She likes animals, and she knows how to treat me gently. Soon I’m standing on her kitchen table, sitting on a box of matches, her arms making a walled garden of the floral tablecloth.

“You’re nice,” I say.

“You’re nice too,” she says, smiling.” She moves a little closer. “New best friend.” She pokes me again, but this time I like it. Does she really mean it? I suppose probably not. But it means something for sure. “Awww!” I say.

“You need some hugs and kisses,” she says. For the first time in a long time, I feel comfortable.

“Yeah, but even your mouth is as big as me.”

“That’s not my fault,” she says, frowning. I tense up. I guess I’ve allowed myself to get too comfortable. I thought we had some sort of understanding, but she’s mistaken my remark for criticism or resentment. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“I’ll be right back…” she sighs and leaves for a moment. A minute later she comes back with a box.

“What’s that?” I ask.

“Chocolates,” she replies, popping one in her mouth. “I bought it for myself, but I thought you looked like you needed some.”

She opens the box and puts the chocolate down. To me, it’s the size and shape of a cake. Amelia fetches a razor blade and cuts it into wedges, and places one of the wedges in a bottle cap plate. I realize I missed my birthday. It’s difficult to eat without a utensil, but I don’t care. Amelia laughs at my efforts.

“Thanks!” I say.

“You’re welcome.” Amelia savors a slice too.

“I need to get some chips,” says Amelia, and walks out of the room.

Sophia sneaks over from her wrestling and puts her face uncomfortably close, and my sense of safety melts like chocolate on asphalt. “How’s your date going?” she says in a subdued but powerful voice. She’s speaking quietly, but her voice is loud and close enough that it would be loud for IMAX. Her grin bratty exudes total self-confidence. I was attracted to that once, and I realize I still am, despite myself. She’s enjoying her sense of power over me. She always did, even when we were in a quasi-normal relationship…

“Pretty well, actually,” I say defiantly. “She likes me.”

“Eh, maybe.” She squints at me.“ You were never into the gentle stuff though were you? I’ve seen your browser history. I think we both know you like all your relationships to end.” She makes a wet squishing sound with her mouth, her finger crushing an imaginary ant.

“That was pornography. This is a real relationship.”

Sophie stifles a laugh. “Is it?” I give her a face. “You did this to yourself, not me. Don’t forget that. Oh, commercial breaks over.” Sophie sneaks away just in time for Amelia to return.

Amelia is munching on some chips. She places a chip on the table, and then, uncomfortably for me, she methodically crushes it with her fingers, sweeping the crumbs into the bottle cap. It makes a fine bowl of chips for you. “There you go… here’s your share…” I notice Sophia look up from her wrestling as if she thought Amelia was crushing me instead and was afraid of missing the action.

You munch on some potato chips.

Amelia hands me a book. I haven’t been able to hold a book in forever. It turns out to be a book of dad jokes, one per page. I turn the pages with difficulty and recall the days when I could read whenever and whatever I wanted.

“I’m glad you’re treating me so well. I was afraid you’d treat me as a toy, or something.” Amelia frowns. “Thanks again.” She cheers up.

“Where should I sleep? Do you have a drawer or something?” I hope the idea isn’t taken as perverted, which it could be depending on what’s in the drawer. She’s still smiling, so I figure it’s alright. She picks me up, then looks thoughtful for a moment, and unexpectedly puts me in her pants pocket. I try not to get cut by her house keys and a used tissue. My newfound pride is crushed. I thought Amelia cared about me, but now I’m not even sure she thinks I’m alive or conscious.

Times elapses in Amelia’s dark pocket, and I start to see light shining from between the threads.

“Thank you so much, Sophie. He’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. I think I’ll give him back though.”

“No, what? But he likes you.”

“I used to have a virtual pet when I was a kid. I just get too attached and I know that about myself. I just don’t have the time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

You feel yourself being taken out of the pocket and handed over.

Sophia holds me up, grinning toothily. “So, you want to be my toy,” she asks.

“Uh, I’m…” I stutter.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Dangling painfully from one arm, I twist around and see Amelia glaring at Sophie.”

“I’m bonding with my new toy,” she says.

“No, you’re not. You’re being mean to him.”

“This is how he bonds, once you get to know him. I won’t hurt him.”

I look at Amelia pleadingly. I can’t escape from the grip of Amelia’s thumb and forefinger.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing you can do to stop me,” Sophia says. “Do you know how I’m going to torture you? “ she asks. “I’m going to talk to you.”

I gulp nervously. “Hello,”

“Do you want to know how this works,” she asks. “Do you?”

I stop struggling.

“Ah, I see that you do.” I glance at Amelia again. “Amelia!”

“You’re already in my hands, there’s nothing you can do about it,” Sophie says. “The fact is, I can do whatever I want with you. The question is, what should I do?”

“I…” My quavers.

“Shhh….” A pause. “Do you like me?” Sophie says.

“Yes.”

“Say, ‘I like you, Sophie,’”

“I like you, Sophie.”

“Who do you belong to?”

“To you.”

“What are you?”

“I’m your toy.” Sophie smiles at me.

“Who am I?”

“Sophy?”

“That’s right, say ‘I am your toy.”

“I am your toy,” I repeat. I wonder what Sophia will do next. Amelia is looking at her distastefully.

“Good toy.”

“You shouldn’t treat him like that. Even if he is a machine,” Amelia says.

“He’s not really a machine. He’s my Ex Boyfriend.”

“What?”

“He’s been this way for years. My current boyfriend and I have been taking care of him.”

There is a pause. “Okay, I’ll take Joe back.”

“Take him.” Sophie, turning to me and whispering. “Now listen to me,” she says, looking serious. “I am going to let you go. When I do, I want you to crawl to Amelia and kiss her foot. If you do that for me, I’ll let you stay with her. If you don’t, I’ll gift you to David instead. I'll let him do… whatever he wants with you."

I look at her, horrified.

“Crawl over, kiss her foot, beg her to let you stay.”

I feel myself falling through the air, I scream. Then, I hit the ground.

I crawl forward desperately towards Amelia, my entire body throbbing with pain. She looks at me, then Sophie in turn. “Go on,” Sophie says. I slowly move towards Amelia’s foot, my arms trembling with exertion. I kiss it.

“Good,” Sophie says. I look up at Amelia. She looks down at me with pity, then she turns to Sophie.

“What do you mean he’s your ex-boyfriend? You did this to him?”

“No, he did this to himself. With a mail-order product. Didn’t think to run it by me first.” I didn’t think Amelia could be more surprised. “Why would he do that?”

Sophie turns to me. “Tell her you like being tiny.”

Sophie crouches down to listen.

“I… I like it,” I say.

“There, you see? He’s always been a perv. I bet he’d love it if you stepped on him right now.”

“That’s not true!” I say.

“Tell her,” Sophie commands, “Or I will.”

“I fantasize about giant women stepping on me!” I blurt.

“What else do you fantasize about,” Amelia asks, incredulous. I tell her. “You little perv,” she says. “You’re lucky I’m not Sophie…” She rises and takes a step forward. Then she raises her foot off the ground.

I scuttle backward, trying to move my tiny body out of the way, and Amelia brings her foot down with a dull thud, just missing my body. I’m only buying time.

It was silly of me to think I could have a relationship with Amelia.

“I didn’t know the mail-order shrink ray would work!” I shout up, hoping to be heard. “I thought it was a prop!”

“You’re disgusting,” she says.

I’ve seen this moment a million thousand times, wondering whether I’d really like it. I do my best to pretend I’m watching pornography in VR or something. I almost enjoy myself.

I watch Amelia bring her foot down on my ex-boyfriend, smashing him flat. She makes sure he’s dead, grinding his horny neurons to a puree, extinguishing whatever flame of sex-crazed awareness might have been crackling through them.

“Oh my God, you just obliterated him!” I say, cupping my hands to my mouth. I’d thought of doing it myself before, but hadn’t, probably because I suspected he wanted it. Amelia shakes her head, a look of regret on his face.

“I’m sorry,” she says to the full-body blood clot on the ground. “You just looked so gross…”

I need to take a picture of this for David. “Nah, he’s unrecognizable,” I say, before sending the picture. David will be pleased. I caption it “Wasn’t me in the end! Would you believe it?”

I how it to Amelia. “See? No one will know. It was him.”

We look at the picture. “It would look a lot less gross without the cloths… says Amelia.”

“Yeah…”

“It’s sad. He just liked me, and I wasn’t interested. If only he could have been big again…”

“It’s sad what he did to himself,” I say. “ It was dumb and super irreversible. This was the best he could hope for. You gave him what he wanted in the end.”

Amelia sighs. “I guess you're right.”