Mr. Schlitt looked out the window of his house as he started to take a drink of his morning coffee. It looked like it was going to be a nice day. A day to continue his research at home. Mr. Schlitt took another sip of his coffee to get the feeling of energy he needed to start early. Mr. Schlitt was in a good mood... that was till he saw it. That damn kid and his dog walking down the street like they owned it. The teen kid was walking his large dog and let the leash on his dog go slack as the creature nosed around everyone's yard. The kid didn't care whose lawn it was, he was too busy texting on his phone. Mr. Schlitt glared as he watched them walking past each home and finally they were coming toward his.

"Don't you do it," Mr. Schlitt muttered into his coffee.

The teen walked in front of Mr. Schlitt's house and paused. Mr. Schlitt continued to stare at both the dog and it's owner as they stood on the edge of the street that connected to his yard. The dog started to sniff and head toward Mr. Schlitt's yard.

"No... no..." Mr. Schlitt growled with anger as he watched the dog walk onto his grass. "GOD DAMN IT!" Mr. Schlitt yelled heading for his door that lead to the front of the house. Just as he opened his door the teen was taking a picture of his dog squatting and taking a dump in his yard. "Get off my lawn!" Mr. Schlitt yelled at the dog and boy who didn't' even react.

"Oh hey mister! Fido's just taking his morning dump," The teen said laughing as he took a picture and typing something on the phone. Mr. Schlitt was about to throw his cup at the dog but it looked to be done doing it's business already. The dog stood back up from it's squatting position and walked away toward it's owner. "See ya mister!" The boy said as he walked off not even picking up his dog's shit.

"STOP SHITTING ON MY LAWN!!!" Mr Schlitt roared at the two cocky creatures walking off away not even listening. "God damn it!" Mr Schlitt said to himself looking at the disgusting mound of shit that the dog left for him. "What the fuck does he fed that thing..." Mr. Schlitt said horrified at the amount left for him to pick up. He would have to find the kid's parents and tell them about this. It was so aggravating to spot a mound of dog shit left in his lawn to be picked up by him... AND HE DIDN'T EVEN OWN A DOG!

It was so annoying that Mr. Schlitt was tempted to use his machine to fry both the boy and the dog for shitting in his lawn for the past 4 months. Sure the device Mr. Schlitt was building wasn't meant to "harm" people, only change materials. But instead of hardening paper into diamonds or change metal to be as flexible as cotton fabric, it just seemed to turn things to ash or not even work at all...

"It was going to be a good day too," Mr. Schlitt complained as he got out a trash bag just to scoop up the smelly pile of shit that was already starting to harden. Mr. Schlitt was even now more convinced to test his machine on the dog next time he saw it. That fucking monster of a creature made the smelliest piles...

Mr. Schlitt gagged as the dropped the bag of poop into his trash can next to the other bags he had to use this week for the dog. How much shit can that dog produce?

Mr. Schlitt went inside and washed his hands as he tried to forget the horrible experience he just had with the dog. He had more things to worry about, like his research on mater manipulation. He couldn't be day dreaming of teaching a stupid teen and his dog a lesson when he had to finish perfecting his device that he had been working on for a few years. In fact it was made more difficult with the lack of help.

It wasn't like he didn't have help to start with, he had over 4 assistant but they kept leaving or quitting. In fact the last assistant he had was 2 months ago. After that lab assistant just left without telling Mr. Schlitt he just gave up with having help and decided to do all the work by himself. He didn't need anyone else slacking off or just collecting his money without doing anything. Besides, Mr. Schlitt felt like they were just holding him back anyway. So Mr. Schlitt had been working and fine tuning his device for the past 2 months by himself. The only help he got was from his neighbor Tommy.

Tommy was the teen next door that would stop by every day or so just to help with basic things. Mow the lawn, clean some dishes, maybe help with basic house choirs. He was kind of like his house cleaner, but Mr. Schlitt never said that to him. He was sure that might make him resent helping him if he referred to him as his maid. So, Mr. Schlitt paid the neighbor for the choirs he did around the house as he worked on his project in his lab room.

Mr. Schlitt headed into his lab and looked at his large device that had yet to work properly. Most of the time it didn't fire anything, other times.... Well he had a nice collection of ashes in a vase filled with his many failures of apples and other objects that were disintegrated by the ray. It was frustrating to have work years on this project and still not find out what the issue was. Anytime, Mr. Schlitt thought he was getting close to fixing an issue, like the power routing, something else pops up or appears out of no where. Mr. Schlitt was almost sure that it was God fucking with him, always causing another issue to hinder his progress. Still... Mr. Schlitt was sure he was getting close. Just the other day, he tried to change the material of an apple into a harder substance. It nearly worked... at least it didn't blow up like the last one.

Mr. Schlitt checked a couple panels on his device before going over to the computer that was hooked up to the machinery. Everything looked good. He just needed to adjust a few things and than he would be good to go. Grabbing an apple, Mr. Schlitt set it down and used his device to try once again to change the density and composition of the apple. Mr. Schlitt crossed his fingers as he watched a red beam fire out of his device and hit the red apple. Mr. Schlitt bite his lip as he waited for the dreaded moment the apple would explode or dissolve into blackened soot. After a few seconds the beam stopped and the apple looked exactly the same.

"Ok, so far so good," Mr. Schlitt prayed as he walked over to the apple. It felt the same... he dropped the apple and watched with pure delight and astounding amazement to see the apple bounce like a rubber ball back up to his hands. "It worked... IT WORKED!!!" Mr. Schlitt laughed as he bounced the apple like a ball around a little more. "I-I-I need to try it again!" Mr. Schlitt said to himself looking for more apples to test the beam on. However he was out of apples, "I'll get more," Mr. Schlitt said to himself as he quickly started to plan on what to do. He would test his device one or two more times before contacting his bosses and bringing in his project to be present to them. Just as Mr. Schlitt was about to leave, he heard the sound of a skatboard rolling up to his house.

"30 minutes late," Mr. Schlitt muttered but it didn't delude his high spirits of completing his research. Mr. Schlitt opened the door to see the young teen popping up his skate board into his hands. "Tommy, your late again."

Tommy shrugged, "Didn't you say time was, like irrelevant?"

Mr. Schlitt frowned for a few seconds before he sighed, "Relativity... it's relative to-"

Tommy snapped his fingers at Mr. Schlitt and grinned, "Yeah that's the word relative."

"Tommy I thought I told you I needed more apples for my research," Mr. Schlitt said letting the boy into his house who proceeded to head to the kitchen. He heard his fridge open and Tommy rummaging around.

"Oh, right," Tommy laughed before grabbing a soda from the fridge, "My bad. I'll picking them up tomorrow."

Mr. Schlitt sighed, "I'll go get them. Anyway, good news, I think I finished my research!" Mr. Schlitt said excited. Tommy nodded. However he didn't say anything which Mr. Schlitt soon started to realize he had no idea what he was talking about. "The big," Mr. Schlitt did quotes with his fingers, "Death machine."

"OH THE KILLER CANNON! No way," Tommy said sounding excited now.

"Don't call it that. It doesn't kill anything," Mr. Schlitt told him not 100% sure if it would be used for that later or not.

"Tell that to all the apples you killed," Tommy laughed.

Mr. Schlitt didn't comment on the countless apples he ran through, but figured the boy had a point. Anyway that wasn't important, "Look I have to head to the story to grab some more apples-"

Tommy gave Mr. Schlitt a snort, "To murder."

"To TEST," Mr. Schlitt said getting annoyed by the child.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say. What do you need me to do, clean the dishes? Pick up your clothes? Oh I know clean the bathrooms," Tommy asked as he took another sip of the soda and letting out an obnoxious burp.

"Actually neither," Mr. Schlitt told him. "I'm going to be gone for a few days, I need you to mow the lawn for me."

Tommy let out an annoyed sound, "Awww, come on. Really? Can't you like, I don't know invent a mower that cuts the grass itself? That would be so much useful than the killer cannon."

Mr. Schlitt held his forehead, "It's not a... you know what never mind. Just get it mowed before I get back, Ok?"

Tommy sipped his coke before slapping it down on the table and grabbing the TV remote, "Yeah yeah..."

Mr. Schlitt wasn't sure why he even paid the kid... he always made himself at home whenever he came over. In fact Tommy should be paying him for letting him house crash like this all the time. Mr. Schlitt just shook his head as he grabbed his car keys. He needed to get some more apples to make sure his device working wasn't a fluke. By the time he got some apples and a few other things, Tommy should have his lawn mowed.

Not wanting to waste any more time at home, Mr. Schlitt got into his car and drove off to get some apples.

Mr. Schlitt came back to the atrocious sight of his lawn not even touched. Tommy didn't' even start mowing his lawn yet.

"Lazy good for nothing..." Mr. Schlitt growled at the lack of work done. Whatever, he would talk to Tommy later.

Mr. Schlitt got out of the car with the handful of groceries. He headed tot he kitchen to restock the fridge that for some reason always got emptier each time Tommy came over. The kid would eat him out of house and home. Did his parent not feed him?

Ignoring the question Mr. Schlitt tossed the last little of refrigerated food into the fridge before heading to his research room. Opening the door Mr. Schlitt took the small brown bag of apples over to his computer. Mr. Schlitt walked in front of his device to set the apples down-

A bright flash hit Mr. Schlitt and he felt a weird sensation roll over his body. Unable to hold onto the bag, Mr. Schlitt dropped the bag as the light enveloped him and wrapped around his body. Mr. Schlitt felt a crawling sensation as everything went bright. Soon Mr. Schlitt couldn't tell what was going on. Things spun and shifted as the light was the only thing Mr. Schlitt could see. Yet he could feel something was happening to him. It was something different, something wrong. It took only a few moments but soon the light vanished and Mr. Schlitt could see again.

What he saw was horrifying.

Mr. Schlitt could see that he was still in his research room, but everything was so much larger. Larger wasn't the right word, gigantic was the correct term. The chairs were bigger than buildings, the walls ran up to the sky and out of view from where Mr. Schlitt could see. The large closed door was bigger than any mountain he had ever seen before. The entire world was hundreds of times bigger than he remembered. Obviously it wasn't the room that got larger, it took Mr. Schlitt a few moments to come to terms that he actually shrunk.

Pure horror and fear ran through him before he calmed himself down. What happened and why? Mr. Schlitt tried to think rationally as to why his device fired off randomly and why it was when he walked into the room? Heading over to his machine, Mr. Schlitt tried to walk but found it slightly difficult as he seemed to be all over the place with his legs. Legs as in more than 1, and more than 2, 3...?

Mr. Schlitt had another panic attack as he felt multiple legs other than the two he should have had. Stumbling around with this new sensation, Mr. Schlitt walked up to his device and looked at the large monstrosity of a thing. The metal was shiny and reflective, bouncing light off it and allowing images to be seen it, especially at the size Mr. Schlitt was at. Once he was close enough he let out a horrified sound as he spotted a bug in the mirror like reflection.

"I'M A BUG?!"

The insect moved the same direction as Mr. Schlitt tried to go. It was official... Mr. Schlitt was a bug. The humiliation of seeing the insect crawling and moving the same as he tried was probably the worse thing that had ever happen to him to date. Mr. Schlitt continued to examine himself when he heard the front door to his house open.

"Hey Mr. Schlitt you home," The voice of Tommy could be heard as he called out.

"Tommy," Mr. Schlitt called out only now realizing that there was no way he could hear him in the state he was in.

"Dude did you just calling him Mr. Shit?"

Mr. Schlitt frowned at the familiar voice that belong to someone he knew, but couldn't think of the name. Whose voice was that?

Tommy started to laugh, "Mr. Shit, that's a good one. Hey Mr. Shit you home? Yeah I thought so, he must have left for that thing he was talking about." The voices were getting closer.

"What thing," The stranger asked just out side the door to the room that Mr. Schlitt was in.

"Psh, I don't remember. I just know he's going to be gone for the next few days," Tommy responded as he opened the door.

Mr. Schlitt watched Tommy come into his research room followed by the last person Mr. Schlitt would have ever expected to see. It was that kid from this morning. The one with the Dog! As if to prove that Mr. Schlitt's suspicions were right, the same damn dog from before was walking behind the teen this very instant.

The two teens were obviously oblivious to Mr. Schlitt's predicament as they walked into the room, some how very familiar with everything in here. Mr. Schlitt watched Tommy head over to the device. Suddenly the kids started to touch the device.

"TOMMY DON'T!" Mr. Schlitt protested. He needed it to stay exactly the same if he wanted to fix this situation. However, Tommy didn't listen. He started to turn knobs and flip switches.

"Alright, you ready," Tommy asked as he hit random things on the transformation device before sitting down near the computer. He proceeded to smack some button, obviously just playing around, "Look at me I'm Mr. Shit," Tommy mocked as he slapped the keyboard.

The other teen laughed as he started to set something down in front of the machine. It looked to be a rock but before he set it down he said, "Dude, look," He pointed to the bag of apples, "Someone got some apples."

"Sweet, toss one of them up there Joe," Tommy told him. "Let's watch this sucker explode," Tommy said excitedly.

Joe did what Tommy told him to do and stood back.

Mr. Schlitt watched as Tommy fired up his machine and instead of turning the apple into a bug like it would have, the beam had a weird hue to it and suddenly the apple disintegrated into ash.

"Stupid machine," Tommy said annoyed. He got up and kicked the device before hitting random buttons and switches. Mr. Schlitt cried in protest watching the teen fuck around with his life's work like this. However Tommy didn't care. Soon he was done messing around and told Joe to toss another apple up there. Again Tommy fired up the device and this time the apple imploded. Tommy and Joe let out a joyful laugh, "SWEET! Dude that was epic. Put another one up there," Tommy told Joe as he again pretended like he knew what he was doing. Mr. Schlitt was horrified as he watched the kids turn apples into apple sauce countless times before they finally got board. Just as they were about to leave, the large dog came up to the pile of apple mush and started to lick and eat it all up.

"Fido come on," Joe ordered only to have Fido ignore him for a few moments before he finished clean up the mess and dashing out of the room to follow his owner.

Mr. Schlitt stayed motionless as the both teens were gone along with the dog. The emotions ran through Mr. Schlitt, most were anger, disbelief, fear, and hopelessness. Everything relied on him knowing what was wrong with the device to change him back but now... the kids messed with it so much, Mr. Schlitt wasn't sure where to even began.

No!

No, Mr. Schlitt could fix this. He would just have to have Tommy and Joe retrace their steps, and maybe with luck on his side, he could fix this mess.

All he needed was Tommy and Joe's help.

But how?

Mr. Schlitt still hadn't left his research room, and the sounds of Tommy and Joe just being teens in his home could be heard from where he was. Mr. Schlitt would have to try, if not than he would be stuck like this for as long as he lived. Which might not be too long.

Mr. Schlitt finally started to leave the room and chase after the two giants.

It took him a while to make it out of his research room and down a hallway toward his living room. Mr. Schlitt came out of the hallway to see the large dog slumbering on his couch. Mr. Schlitt wanted to yell at the dog to get off his couch and out of his house, but either it wouldn't hear him or maybe it would and Mr. Schlitt wasn't sure if he wanted the large animal knowing where he was. Instead he looked throughout the rest of his house and saw the two teens in the kitchen just standing around and laughing. They both were drinking sodas and had a bag a chips out that they were snacking on. Occasionally they would take turns tossing a chip in the air and trying to catch it, both failing and having the chips scatter on the ground after breaking into a million pieces. Mr. Schlitt looked at his dirtied floor and the minefield of crumbs at the kids feet.

"Slobs," Mr. Schlitt said as he tried to think about how to approach the two. Heading for the kitchen, Mr. Schlitt got as close as he dared as he watched the two kids goofing off.

"Check this out," Joe said as he grabbed his soda and started to chug the drink. After downing the can he slammed it down and paused for a few seconds. Suddenly he opened his mouth and let out a load roar of gas as he burped in Tommy's face.

Joe laughed as Tommy pulled back, "Gross, hahaha," Tommy laughed waving his hand in his face.

"Tommy!" Mr. Schlitt called out.

No reaction from either of the giant teens.

"TOMMY!" Mr. Schlitt came out from under the chair he was hiding under. Still none of them reacted. "Damn it..."

What to do... what to do...

Mr. Schlitt saw his answer, and he didn't like it. This was dangerous. By the feet of the two lumbering Giants were the crumbs of their mess. The floor was covered in the tan colored potato chips that scattered around the floor. Maybe if he spelled out his name or the word help or something, they would notice! They would recognize him and try and help. However he was a bug, and this would put him right by their feet...

"I have to try," Mr. Schlitt said as he scurried out toward the large feet and near the debris they left from their constant munching on his chips.

Mr. Schlitt was heading for the field of crumbs and looked up to see the two teens still burping as they gulped down soda cans.

"Record this," Tommy told Joe as he started to burp the alphabet into Joe's phone.

"H," Tommy burped.

"I," Tommy went on.

"J," A weaker burp came out as he was slowing down already. Mr. Schlitt didn't think much of this as he was so close to the crumbs that he wasn't paying attention to the two giants.

"Shit need more- FUCK," Tommy yelled causing Mr. Schlitt to stop in the middle of the floor. He was so close to the crumbs. "Fucking bug!" Mr. Schlitt had little to no time to react as the enormous sneaker was already coming for him. Mr. Schlitt had to give up his plan as he ran away with an enormous foot came smashing down on the ground shaking everything in the house. "DIE!" Tommy said slamming his foot down again and again trying to crush Mr. Schlitt.

"TOMMY IT'S ME!" Mr. Schlitt yelled as he zigzagged the best he could to avoid the white tennis shoe.

Joe just laughed, "Dude you suck at this."

"Shut up and help," Tommy ordered him as Joe started to walk toward Tommy who was frantically trying to crush Mr. Schlitt.

Mr. Schlitt was panicking as he saw his fridge and zipped forward toward it. Just as he made it under the fridge, an enormous slamming shook the whole kitchen as Tommy jumped up with both his feet and tried to double stomp Mr. Schlitt into a fine paste.

"I think you missed him," Joe taunted.

"Fucking bugs."

"Well if you didn't make such a mess," Joe told him.

"Fuck you," Tommy said, "That was all you," Tommy argued.

Joe laughed, "I caught most of mine, I didn't see you catching any of yours," Joe retorted.

"Whatever," Tommy told Joe as he started to walk away from the fridge and grabbing a broom. He quickly swept up the crumbs and tossed them before Joe could stop him.

"Wait!"

"What," Tommy asked.

"What about the bug? WE could have lured him out with those," Joe told him.

"Oh come on, he's not that stupid. No way he would have fallen for that," Tommy argued.

"It's just a dumb bug," Joe told him like it was obvious that the bug would try again to come out form the fridge.

"Whatever... what letter was I on again," Tommy asked as he went for another sip of soda and right back to burping the alphabet again as Joe started to recording it.

"What the fuck," Mr. Schlitt said out loud from under the fridge. "He almost killed me!"

"He thinks your a bug," A voice from behind Mr. Schlitt made him jump and yell out in fear. "Calm down it's me," The voice replied again. It was a familiar voice, but Mr. Schlitt couldn't recall where he heard it from. It almost sounded like it belonged to...

"John?" Mr. Schlitt asked as he spotted a bug similar to him starting to come out from deeper under the fridge.

"Mr. Schlitt," The bug spoke to him.

"But... I thought you quit," Mr. Schlitt said as he looked at his last assistant he had. John had up and quit with no explanation. Mr. Schlitt didn't know why but John never showed up for work one day.

The sound of John's enraged voice could be heard as he yelled, "I didn't quit! Those fucking little bastards were playing around with your machine. I kicked them out of the room, and the next thing I knew... I'm a fucking bug."

Mr. Schlitt looked at his last assistant, who had to have been a bug for about a month or so. "So you didn't quit.." Mr. Schlitt said out loud. "Wait what about the others," Mr. Schlitt asked afraid of the answer.

"Kurt, and Tucker are here too," John told Mr. Schlitt. At the mention of their names 2, more bugs looking very similar to John and Mr. Schlitt came forward. Tucker was Mr. Schlitt's assistant about 6mothns ago and Kurt over a year or so ago. That meant Kurt had been living in his house as a bug for over a year...

"I...I didn't know," Mr. Schlitt tried to tell them.

"None of us did," John told Mr. Schlitt.

"What-what about Vic? He was my first assistant, is he here?" Mr. Schlitt was worried probably because if he was like everyone else, he had been a bug for over 2 years!

Kurt shook his head, "It was just me. He was either killed or never became a bug."

Mr. Schlitt let those words sink in. How many times had he had Tommy stomp on a bug or kill an insect he was too busy to deal with...

"Last week... John I-I didn't mean," Mr. Schlitt told him as he recalled trying to crush a similar looking bug. It was now that Mr. Schlitt knew how hard it was going to be to get help.

"Just forget about it," John told Mr. Schlitt. "Now that you're here... maybe you can fix the device."

"I...I don't know, maybe. It sounds like those two," Mr. Schlitt said pointing to the two teens still goofing off in the kitchen, "Have been messing with my machine for years. I don't even know where to start. It took me this long to get it to work right, and now... all my calibrations have been fucked up by those idiots." Mr. Schlitt told them.

As if on cue, Joe laughed and bumped into the kitchen wall and proceeded to knock a coffee cup off one of the shelves that held his cups. The cup landed on the floor shattering it into pieces.

"My favorite mug," Mr. Schlitt cried out.

"Ops," Joe snorted.

"That was Mr. Schiltt's favorite cup," Tommy told Joe as he tried to put the piece together.

Joe on the other hand didn't seem to worry, "Eh whatever, you can buy him another one."

"Me? That was on you."

As the two teens argued who was responsible for the broken coffee cup, Mr. Schlitt turned back to his fellow bugs. "If we don't get them to tell me what they did it could take me maybe another year or two to fix it... and that's if I had hands!"

"So, how do we communicate with them," Kurt asked calmer than anyone else. Maybe cause he was a bug the longest and was used to it.

"Can they hear us," Mr. Schlitt asked.

"We've never tried, and as you can see, not sure if they would listen." Tucker told Mr. Schlitt.

"Let's just assume they can't... we have to leave like a sign or-or like some way of showing we're not bugs."

"Again, like what?" John asked.

"... THE CUP!" Mr. Schlitt said. "If they don't touch the pieces..." Sure enough the teens who were trying to pin the accident of the cup on the other, and were oblivious to the shattered pieces that covered the floor. Like before with the chips crumbs, they weren't in a rush to clean them up. "We can try and use the shards to spell out something," Mr. Schlitt told the others.

"While they're standing there? No way," Tucker protested. "You saw what almost happened to you, that wasn't the first time we tried to get help," Tucker continued. "Those kids wouldn't even hesitate to try and step on us if we so much as show ourselves."

"Then we wait till they leave the kitchen? What if they won't come back," John protested to Tucker's negative attitude he was showing toward the plan.

"No, Tucker's right," Mr. Schlitt said. "We should wait... and trust me, I know Tommy, he'll come back into the kitchen sooner or later. As long as there's soda in the fridge," Mr. Schlitt explained about the soda craving teen.

Deciding that it was safer to wait till they were left alone in the kitchen, Mr. Schlitt and the others listen to the teen bicker about the cup. Finally Joe said, "Fine! I'll fix it." Joe started to leave the kitchen.

"Where you going," Tommy asked following.

"Watch Fido for me, I'm going to buy a new mug for Mr. Shit."

Tommy laughed, "It's not shit, it's Schlitt" Tommy couldn't help but start laughing, "... Mr Shit," Tommy sounded like a little kid giggling over the mispronounced name.

"That's what I said," Joe replied as the front door was opened. The sound of the door closing could be heard and it didn't take long before a TV being turned on and some kind of cartoon like show was put on.

"Ok, happy now?" John asked Tucker, "Now let's hurry up while they are gone."

All four of them came out from under the fridge and started to head to the murder scene of Mr. Schlitt's favorite cup. Sure enough there were over a thousand piece of the cup all over the floor. The sizes were varied but most were roughly their size or a little smaller. Mr. Schlitt found that the pieces were a little heavier than he thought. Most required two of them to help move them around.

"Move that one over there," Mr. Schlitt told Tucker and John as they shifted a large piece of ceramic. It was taking longer than Mr. Schlitt thought it would. There was no way of telling how much time had passed since Joe left, but it felt like a while. Mr. Schlitt was just getting the H done with for HELP, but they needed a nicely sized piece that was off further away. "Tucker get that piece over there."

Tucker hurried off to grab the lone piece that would complete the bridge in the H. Just as Tucker grabbed the piece the sound of the front door opening scarred all four of them. Joe was back.

"SHIT, uh... hide!" Mr. Schlitt told everyone. Without having much of the sign for help done, there was point in risking being in the open. The three of them ran off toward the fridge while, Tucker tried to follow. It was clear he would not make it in time as the teens were already coming into view. Tucker was scared stiff and found he had almost no where to hide. Running to the closes part of the nearest wall, Tucker stood still out in the open frozen, praying no one spotted him.

Mr. Schlitt and the others just made it under the fridge when the teens came stomping back into the kitchen. Mr. Schlitt watched with a discouraging scene as the two teens kicked the shattered pieces they lined up sending the pieces all over the place. Hours of work destroyed in mere seconds. Everyone let out sounds of anger or sorrow as the tennis shoes scattered the shards all over the kitchen.

"See... fixed," Joe said pulling out a blank mug he just bought.

"Well, there was stuff on it, you know," Tommy told him like he was an idot.

"I KNOW THAT!" Joe pulled out a marker. "I just have to write it on. He wont even know the difference."

Mr. Schlitt watched as Tommy nodded and grinned at the brilliant idea, "Dude, smart."

Mr. Schlitt shook his head at the childish idea.

"Alright... so what was on it?"

Tommy's smile faded, "Uhhhh," He looked at the pieces of the coffee cup. "Give me a second," He started to pick up the pieces and looked for any markings on them. The ones he found that were blank he started to toss into the trash, "Nope... no... no- oh wait yeah... here's another..." Tommy picked up as much as he could and tossed the rest. Now there was no way that Mr. Schlitt and the others to write to them!

"Alright so... We have the letter... C" Tommy told Joe.

"Ok, whatelse?"

"Uh... there's a 2? yeah a 2... and," Tommy was arrange the shards and reading off what he was finding. "Oh a plus sign for sure. Anddddd- a W? I think it's a W."

"You think?" Joe asked him not sure what he should be writing.

"Yeah... C, +, 2, W... and something else... I think that's 4 little lines."

"What does that mean," Joe asked.

Tommy just shrugged, "Don't know, some math or science shit. Just write C+2W!!!!," Tommy told Joe.

"I don't know, that doesn't sound right," Joe looked at the parts of the cup, "You sure that's not an E... like that famous thing they always say? You know, E=..."

Tommy snapped his fingers as it clicked, "That's right! E=WC^2"

"YEAH," Joe laughed completely onboard with it now.

Mr. Schlitt looked at the others who had the same horrible expression on their face... or they would if they weren't bugs. These two teens...

Joe started to write out the equation they thought was the right one with the black sharpie. Just as he was finishing, Tommy said, "Don't forget to put his name on the bottom."

"Gotcah," Joe said flipping the cup, "Mr. S H I T. Done."

"DUDE," Tommy said smacking his shoulder, "You don't' spell it that way! It's got like an L in there."

"Oh whatever, not like he's going to look on the bottom of the cup," Joe protested as he set the cup down. "Besides you said his name was Mr. Shit."

Tommy couldn't help but laugh before he said to correct Joe, "Schlitt, Schlitt, Shit... fuck now you got me saying it," Tommy burst into laughter at the mistake of Mr. Schlitt's name. "It does kind of sound like shit," Tommy finally gave in. "Mr. Shit," Tommy laughed a little at the childish joke.

"Alright, let me just put this cup away-" Joe paused.

"What," Tommy asked.

"It's that stupid bug," Joe said pointing to the bug out in the open in the kitchen.

Mr. Schlitt watched as the two teens spotted Tucker frozen up against the wall right across from them. Mr. Schlitt didn't know why Tucker wasn't moving, maybe he was too scared?

"Dumb bug," Tommy said as he was about to head for Tucker, obviously about to stomp him to death.

"Wait," Joe said stopping him. Tommy and everyone else looked to Joe wondering why he would stop Tommy. "I got an idea... let's hit him with the killer cannon."

Tommy's face lit up at the idea of putting a bug under the death ray. "Yo, that is lit! Lets do it!"

It was now that Tucker finally thought it was time to bug out, as he started to run as fast as he could to the fridge. However he was no where near fast enough as Tommy was blocking his way in 3 steps. Soon a towering Tommy had cut off his path of retreat. Mr. Schlitt watched Tommy towering form stand in between Tucker and their only place of hiding. Tucker obviously knew he was screwed if he was caught and tried to head backwards to somewhere, but Joe was already did a pincer maneuver as he blocked off Tucker's path backwards. The two teens were already closing in on Tucker, who had no where to run as the two giants were using their hands to prevent any running out from the side and wall kept him boxed in.

Mr. Schlitt watched as Tucker tried to yell to them to stop or to notice he wasn't a bug, but they didn't care. In a flash Joe brought the coffee cup toward Tucker and flicked him in before he could move. Joe and Tommy let out a victorious sound as they caught Tucker and held him in the cup.

"Easy!" Joe told Tommy as they high fived.

"Let me see him," Tommy said taking the cup and looking down at Tucker in the coffee cup. "Disgusting dude... look at it's ugly face and stuff. Nasty!"

"I know right? Bugs are gross as shit."

"Shit... shit..." Tommy snapped his fingers as he pointed to Joe, "DUDE! I GOT THE BEST IDEA EVER! For get the killer cannon, quick get out your phone," Tommy told Joe as he set the cup down.

Joe looked confused but did as Tommy asked. Tommy started to laugh like he heard the funnest joke ever. Joe continued to be in the dark as he had his phone out, "So now what?"

"TicToc post dude," Tommy laughed as he looked down at the bug in the cup. Joe shrugged and unlocked his phone and handed the phone to Tommy. "Alright dude check this shit out..." Again Tommy laughed.

Mr. Schlitt had no idea what the two teens were planing but he watched as Tommy took the phone and held it up over his head so he could get him and the bug in the cup all in the same image. "This is how I take care of pests I find. Time to get rid of this little shit," Tommy said with a smirk and a wink at the camera. Mr. Schlitt watched as Tommy started to squat over the small cup that held Tucker in it.

"no... no he wouldn't," Mr. Schiltt sputtered in horror as he watched the teen starting to pull his pants and underwear down and point his ass at the cup right above it.

"Look out below," Tommy laughed as he aimed his rear end over the cup.

Tucker was letting out pleads and screams of mercy at the sight of the large pale moon now hovering over the top of the cup. "STOP! WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING!! SOMEONE HELP!!!"

No one but Mr. Schiltt could hear him as his pleading didn't even so much as slow Tommy down as he started to calm his breathing and did a soft grunt. The sound of his anus opening up above Tucker could be heard as some gas came out only to be cut off by a large object exiting him. Tucker let out a blood curdling scream as the massive brown log started to slide out of Tommy's rear end. Mr. Schlitt watched with disgust as Tommy started to take a shit in his kitchen, into a coffee cup that held one of his assistants. The screaming and wailing sounding more and more desperate from Tucker as the log descended slowly into the cup.

"NO NO NO NO!!!" Tucker yelled as the Mr. Schlitt saw the first part of the turd slid past the rim of the cup and closer to Tucker. Mr. Schlitt couldn't see it, but the sounds of desperate fear filled the air as the turd came out faster and started to fill more of the cup.

Tucker let out a screech, "STOOOOO-"

Tommy grunted and a fart escaped plopping out the rest of the nasty shit into the cut with a splat. Tucker's voice vanished as the teen laughed again and gave a peace sign, "Terminated! Eat shit sucker," Tommy told the camera before ending the video and posting it.

"Nasty," Joe laughed before smelling the shit and stepping back. "I'm not touching that cup."

Tommy just snickered as he pulled his phone out and did a quick picture, "Got to post this on Click Chat." Tommy started to say and type what he was doing, "Making Mr. SHIT his coffee, just the way he likes it: VERY HOT, FRESH, and BROWN. Winky devil face... and posted. #mrshit."

Joe laughed at the post before he started to walk away, "You going to wash the cup out before putting it back?"

Tommy picked up the cup and headed off to the bathroom, "I'll think about it," Tommy laughed at the cruel prank of not washing the cup.

Mr. Schlitt felt sick as Tommy carelessly carried off Tucker's grave. The sound of a toilet flushing and water running could be heard. If Tucker was alive, he had a one way trip to Mr. Schlitt's septic tank. Mr. Schlitt prayed that it was quick death in the cup and not a long one. It must have been horrible for Tucker...

"Those sick fucks!" John yelled knowing no one would hear him. "They fucking killed Tucker!"

"Do we still try and get their help?" Kurt asked fearing what they would have to do.

Mr Schiltt started to answer, "If we do-"

"If we do? What the hell you talking about, THEY ARE MONSTERS! We can't go to them!"

"So what, stay like this?!" Mr. Schlitt asked which didn't sound appealing to anyone.

"I've been like this for months... It doesn't sound as bad as being SHIT ON BY A FUCKING CHILD!" John argued.

Mr. Schlitt took a moment to mentally agree, being alive as bug doesn't' sound as bad as being buried under a fresh turd laid by Tommy. The smell was still lingering in the kitchen...

"So what do we do," Kurt asked waiting for a response.

"Wait them out, and try and find a solution ourselves," John said.

Mr. Schlitt wasn't a fan of this idea, but it beat ending up like Tucker...

"Dude I'm bored," Joe complained as he tossed a ball around and had Fido fetch it for him. The dog was barely walking a few feet before he picked up the ball and brought it back.

"What do you want to do," Tommy asked.

Mr. Schlitt listen to the conversation as John and Kurt stayed hidden under the fridge where they assumed it was safe.

"...Party?" Joe asked.

Mr. Schlitt heard Tommy let out an annoyed sound, "Yeah and at whose house? My parents are still home, and your Dad never leaves the house. How are we suppose to have a party?"

Mr. Schlitt knew the answer before Tommy did. "Don't..."

"Ohhhhh," Tommy laughed, "Duh, right here! That's brilliant! Mr. Schlitt-" Tommy laughed again before continuing, "Mr. Shit, wont be back for a few days. Who we bringing over?"

"I'll call a few guys over, but more importantly... we got enough food?"

Tommy chuckled, "Yeah, I know where Mr. Shit puts his emergency money," Tommy said getting up and heading off to Mr. Schlitt's room.

"That little monster! How does he know about that?"

"... you haven't noticed? He's been skimming off you since day one," John told him.

Mr. Schlitt felt like a moron as he did recall missing money ever once in a while, a 5 or 10 here, a 20 once in a while. He just assumed he miss counted before hand. Now it seemed it all Tommy's doing.

"Fucking Tommy..."

"$40 sound good? That's like 5 pizza's right? Plenty of food," Tommy told Joe.

"Perfect, Mark is down. Justin said maybe but he always says that. Kyle is the only one I don't know about, he said he wants to get some kind of trick down on his board."

"Dude," Tommy said like he had another amazing idea, "Tell him to come here, he can practice his kick flips here, no problem."

"Niceeeee," Joe said sending the message. It didn't take too long before Joe said, "He's down. This going to be killer man, alright let's order some pizza's.

Mr. Schlitt was horrified at what he was hearing. They were inviting more kids over!

Wait... this might be good.

"We could try and get the other kids attention," Mr. Schlitt offered.

John was the first to response, "I don't like it. If they are friends of those two... it might be worse."

"Worse? I don't even think that's even possible," Mr. Schlitt told him. "And the way it sounds is that they are all going to hanging out here at MY PLACE," Mr. Schlitt said with just as much anger as he could as a bug, "Till I'm suppose to get back. Which will be a few days. I don't suppose there's any food here to eat under the fridge?"

"no," Kurt told Mr. Schlitt, "We usually wait till night or everyone is gone to find food."

"Last I checked there isn't much food left on the floor, especially now that I'm like this," Mr. Schlitt told them. "There might not be any more food from now on. I don't know about you, but I don't plan to starve as a bug. So I say we try and get the other's attention or at least," Mr. Schlitt thought of other options, "We try and escape to the machine, and fix it..."

"I hate both of those ideas," John told him before saying, "but we don't have much of a choice. I say we go to the machine, maybe we can change our size to something bigger than a bug? Or maybe at least go out as a pile of ash," John said trying to find the bright side of things.

"Morbid," Kurt responded before adding, "I've been a bug long enough. Let's do something about it."

"Alright," Mr. Schlitt agreed. "We'll head to the machine and try and fix ourselves, or die trying." However, Mr. Schlitt wasn't so keen on the last part.

The sound of heavy foot steps could be heard as the fridge was the destination of those feet. The two large sneakers were in front of the fridge before the door was opened and the voice of Tommy was heard, "Yeah man we got plenty of soda. You want one?"

"Yeah toss me one," Joe called out. Tommy did just that.

Mr. Schlitt heard the hissing and pop of a fizzed up soda can fill the air as Joe must have spilled the foamy drink.

"Fucking hate these kids," Mr. Schlitt remarked at how they were acting. It was amazing that he never picked up how Tommy really acted or behaved.

"I spilled some on the carpet," Joe called out.

"It's cool just move the seat like I usually do," Tommy told him as he headed off to the room Joe was in. The sound of the furniture moving could be heard. Mr. Schlitt was horrified at their action. How many soda stains were under his couch and chairs? He never really moved them ever. He could just imagine his carpet under his furniture splattered with countless stains from countless spills and other-

NO! Focus!

Mr. Schlitt would deal with it when he was normal. Now was not the time to worry about the carpet.

"Do we wait till tonight to head toward the transformation machine," Kurt asked. "It sounds like we might have time before the other kids arrive."

Mr. Schlitt was hesitant but John wasn't, "Yeah, let's make our way there. Those two sound like their having fun," John remarked listening tot he two kids messing around like before.

Mr. Schlitt and the other decided to use the time they had to head out from under the fridge and to his research room where his transformation device was. They would need to leave the kitchen and cross the dinning room that happen to be in between the kitchen and the hallway that lead off to the rest of the house. All three of them scurried as fast as they could out of the kitchen. They were about to reach the dinning room when the front door was knocked on.

"Quick," Mr. Schlitt said telling them to hide out of view as the door was opened.

"Kyle, what's up man," Tommy and Joe greeted. Mr. Schlitt heard the sound of a skateboard hitting his floor before it started to roll on the floor. Soon Mr. Schlitt watched an enormous teen riding on a skateboard roll around into his dinning room before the kid did a quick turn and rolled around the table like it was jut an obstacle in a skate partk.

"It's cool I practice in here?" He asked without getting an answer. Mr. Schlitt winced as he watched the kid kick up his board in the air and slammed it down on the ground trying to get some air with it. "Wanted to get this one move down."

"Yeah man, where ever you want," Tommy said.

"Cool," Kyle responded as he started to practice doing some kind of board spin or flip or something. Mr. Schlitt watched as the kid failed and his board went clattering to the floor before he went to retrieve it and try again. Over and over again the board either went out of control or the kid didn't land the move.

"Now what," John asked Mr. Schlitt as Kyle was literal in the way. Where ever his board landed in the dinning room he would practice again his flip and kicking move but would mess up before slamming the board and his feet on the ground shaking the kitchen even from where he was.

"I don't know... head for the table?" Mr. Schlitt said to the other two over Kyle's noise he was making with his skateboarding.

"Maybe you need more speed," Joe added over the noise of Kyle was making.

"Maybe..." Kyle said trying just that. Kyle rolled out of the dinning room into the other room Joe and Tommy were in before trying. Again a clatter sound of the board hitting the ground could be heard, but it sounded like he was getting closer with Joe and Tommy both making a sound of frustration and disappointment.

"So close," Tommy remarked before a knocking sound was heard. Soon the other two kids were here and now Mr. Schlitt had 5 teen boys in his house.

"We can't stay here," Mr. Schlitt said realizing they were out in the open if anyone came into the kitchen, they would be spotted. If they headed back to the safety of the fridge they would have lost all that ground. The hallway was much closer to them than the fridge itself. However they would have to traverse the skating ground of Kyle. Just as that thought came across his mind, Kyle rolled into the dinning room and failed at this attempt to land his trick. Kyle picked up his board and rolled out of the room again and tried.

"Everyone is distracted with the skater kid, let's go for it," John told the others.

"You sure," Kurt asked. "The fridge... we could wait them out," Kurt protested.

"... I don't want to wait it out, I don't want to be a bug anymore," Mr. Schlitt told Kurt annoyed at the teens fucking around in his house. He heard something fall off one of his shelves and shatter as Kyle slammed on the ground with such force the house shook. "These kids are ruining my home!"

Kurt was hesitant but finally agreed.

They waited till Kyle rolled out of the dinning room showing off his trick once again for everyone.

"Let's go," Mr. Schlitt said leading the way. They quickly scurried off toward the dinning table, John behind him, and Kurt behind him. Mr. Schlitt watched as the large kid, Kyle missed the board when landing and the board clattering to the floor. Everyone let out an "oooo" like he was close to nailing his awesome trick. However, Mr. Schlitt was sure he wouldn't get it down. Everyone was on a couch or chair looking at Kyle, which gave them the distraction they needed to make it to the dinning room table. Mr. Schlitt was almost at the dinning table and caught sight of what made the shattered sound.

It was the small vase he had filled with the failed attempts. The ash of all those previous apples and first attempts was scatter on the floor where no one noticed except for Mr. Schlitt. Mr. Schlitt shook his head looking at the pile of dust and charred remains.

"mmmmrrrrrrr.....Sssssccccchhhhlllliiiiittt," A raspy dried up voice came from that direction.

"..Vic?!" Mr. Schlitt called out as he heard the almost dusty voice of his very first assistant coming from the ash pile. "no... not you too?"

"Helllllpppp," It came out again.

Mr. Schlitt stood in the opening oblivious to everything else as John and Tucker came up to him.

"What's going on? MR. SCHLITT WE NEED TO MOVE!"

"But... Vic... he's," Mr. Schlitt said directing everyone to the pile of ash. "He's the pile of ash. He must have being transformed too! We can't just leave him like that," Mr Schlitt said feeling horrible for the person who must have been trapped in that jar of ashes for years, with no one knowing or helping. It was all his fault.

"We can when we-" John started to say only to hear Fido let out a quick bark.

Everyone including the teens looked at the dog getting up from the floor.

"What's the matter boy," Joe asked wondering why Fido just barked.

The dog started to trot somewhere sniffing around. Mr. Schlitt watched the dog trod over to the pile of ashes on the floor. The Dog started to sniff the dusty remains of Vic.

"What's he doing," Mark asked Joe.

Before Joe could respond everyone watched shocked as the dog sniffed one more time and started to walk closer to the pile of ash. The dog started to lift his leg and position himself to release it's pee.

"He's going to take a piss," Tommy laughed as the rest of the teens burst into a fit of laughter as the dog started to piss on the pile of dirt in the living room.

"HEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPP-" Vic cried out in the airy tone only to be drowned out as a blast of yellow pee squirted out of the dog and hit the pile of dust. The sound of Vic's voice letting out a ghostly cry turn into more of a gurgling sound as the liquid sprayed out and mixed with his form. It sounded like he was drowning.

"VIC!" Mr. Schlitt called out only getting the same response as the dog continued to pee on the pile of dirty ash. Soon the fluid was too much to absorb and a small puddle of urine was leaking form the pile that was Vic. The sounds of Vic coughing, gagging, and drowning could be heard as it slowly faded away with the dog finishing up his business. The teens were mostly done laughing as the dog turned around and kicked up a few of the wet ashes off the floor as it flicked it's back paws up just before heading back to Joe to lay down.

"Good boy," Joe remarked as his dog laid down at his feet.

"Vic..." Mr. Schlitt repeated only not to get a response from the soaked mush of dog pee and ash.

"MR. SCHLITT," John yelled already under the table. "COME ON!"

It took Mr. Schlitt a while to understand what John had said. Kurt was still by Mr. Schlitt as he tried to get him to move.

"We can't help him," Kurt told him. "Please we need to-"

The deafening sound of wheels on the floor brought both Kurt and Mr. Schlitt back to their situation as Kyle was already rolling this way. He was coming in so fast that neither of them had much time to move. One second the massive object of a teen on a skateboard was in front of them, the next he was gone like he vanished in thin air.

Kurt nudged Mr. Schlitt forward. "Go-" Was all Kurt could say before a large plastic wheel came out of no where and cut Kurt off from Mr. Schlitt's view. The loud sound of hundreds of tons of weight slamming on the ground hurt Mr. Schlitt's hearing as the wheel rolled forward and out of the way. Suddenly a lot of cheering from the other four teens could be heard as it turned out Kyle finally landed his trick.

However, he landed it on Kurt...

Mr. Schlitt watched as Kurt's lower half was all that remained as the wheel landed and rolled right over his upper half. Mr. Schlitt gagged at the sight of the lower half still moved, kicking and walking like it still had a mind of it's own. Mr. Schlitt called out, "Kurt! Kurt?!" There was no voice or reaction by the legs as they kept scurrying around making the body twitch and move, but not going anywhere.

"MR SCHLITT," John yelled to him.

It was only now that Mr. Schlitt got his attention back to his surroundings. However it wasn't fast enough. After Kyle landed his trick, everyone was looking toward them, even Fido was looking in their direction as John and Mr. Schlitt were spotted.

Tommy let out an annoyed sound, "More fucking bugs. Kyle, can you just roll over the rest of them?"

"Nah man," Mark said, "Don't kill them just like throw them outside."

"I'm not picking them up," Kyle said disgusted at the idea.

"Does Fido eat bugs," Justin asked Joe.

"I'm not feeding them to my dog. I'm not having Fido get sick from those things," Joe argued.

However Fido licked his lips like the idea wasn't that bad.

Mr. Schlitt listen to the teenage kids talk to each other about what to do. It was now that John figured it was ever bug for themselves and started to run. This caused Fido to bark and give chase. Mr. Schlitt watched with absolute horror as Fido was on John in a split second.

"No Fido, spit it out," Joe ordered but Fido didn't care. Fido was already having John in his maw like he was some kind of dog treat. "Bad dog, no boy!" Joe ordered again.

"STOP," John screamed from the mutt's mouth. "MR. SCHLITT HELP ME!!! SAVE ME!!!" John cried out for help. Mr. Schlitt watched the enormous dog hold John in his mouth high above the floor completely out of Mr. Schlitt's reach. Joe was on his way over to Fido who looked at his master. Just as John was about to reach out for Fido's mouth to possible remove John form Fido's mouth, the dog reacted. The sound of crunching and John screaming could be heard as the dog quickly started to snack on John like the little treat he was. The dog chewed and crunched and munched on the bug so fast that Joe didn't even have time to stop the dog from scarfing down John. One moment the dog was holding onto John in it's mouth the next he was chewed into a crunch pulp and swallowed like a doggy treat that was given to him for doing a good thing.

"Damn it Fido," Joe complained. "If you get sick, I'm not taking you to the vet."

Fido on the other hand wagged his tail happily looking at Joe to see if he had another treat for him.

"Well, that's one down," Tommy laughed. "Now for the other one."

Mr. Schlitt was horrified at the remark. "No-no..."

Before Mr. Schlitt could react Tommy was on him in a few steps form the couch he was sitting on. Sure enough Tommy had no problem picking up Mr. Schiltt with his fingers and dangling his bug like form in the air. Mr. Schlitt was horrified as Tommy's large fingers pinched his midsection, easily able to squeeze the life out of him at any moment.

"So...should I just crush this guy," Tommy asked to no one in particular looking at Mr. Schlitt like he was scum.

Mr. Schlitt couldn't help but shake his head, "No. please don't!"

Tommy frowned, "Did... did you just shake your head?"

Mr. Schlitt responded by nodding.

"Did you just nodded? Do you understand me?!" Tommy was so amazed at the bug that he nearly pinched Mr. Schlitt's body into a fine paste. "Guys this bug understands me, look," Tommy said holding the bug up for everyone to see. The other gathered around not sure what to see. "Hey, do something..." Tommy told Mr. Schlitt.

Mr. Schlitt would have gave Tommy a look that told him he was moron. What was it he could do?! He was held by Tommy all he could do was nod his head or shake it. So he just nodded his head again.

"Did you guys see that," Tommy told them at the reaction Mr. Schlitt did.

"What? It's a bug, there's no way it understands you," Joe told him like he was stupid.

"Bullshit, look," Tommy told them, "Shake your head if don't want to die," Tommy ordered. Mr. Schlitt panicked and shook his head to get him to not kill him. Proud at the reaction Tommy beamed at the others, "See? He understands me."

"Whatever dude, that was just a reaction. It's bug, they can't understand English," Joe told him.

Tommy scoffed, "Obvious it can, and better than your dog. Fido ate that bug when you told him no. So obviously he's smarter than your dog."

This must have struck some cord with Joe as he got upset, "A bug is not smarter than my dog."

"I don't know man," Kyle remarked, "The thing did what Tommy asked."

Joe glared at the bug, "That fucking thing is a BUG! That was all coincidence..." Joe tried to get the others to understand his point. "Fido is way smarter than that bug."

"You sure about that," Justin asked obviously with everyone else negging him.

Joe let out an annoyed sound, "Fine. Let's see who is smarter, Fido or this," Joe pointed to Mr. Schlitt, "Mr. piece of shit, bug."

Tommy laughed and than a smirk came across his face, "Ok... Fido vs Mr. Shit. I bet Mr. Shit is way smarter than your dog, $20?"

"Oh you're on, there's no backing out now," Joe said in agreement.

"So how are you going to determine which one is smarter," Justin asked. "What have them do math or something?"

Mr. Schlitt quickly nodded his head frantically. He could out math a dog any day of the week!! However Tommy either didn't see the desperately nodding done by Mr. Schlitt or he had other plans cause he was already grinning, "We'll see which can follow the simplest commands." Tommy headed into the kitchen. He grabbed a glass jar and tossed Mr. Schlitt inside. The memory of how Tucker died came to mind as Tommy grinned down at his prize bug. "And Mr. Shit wont lose to some lousy dog, now will you?" Mr. Schlitt shook his head afraid of what would happen if he didn't try and respond.

"Alright, so what kind of commands are we talking about," Joe asked obviously cocky about already winning 20 bucks over a stupid competition.

"To make it fair," Tommy told Joe, "You guys," Tommy said pointing to Mark, Justin, and Kyle, "Will think up what they should do. Fair," Tommy asked Joe who agreed.

"Cool, alright. Mark, what does Mr. Shit and Fido have to do?"

Mark just looked at the two. "Uh, I don't know... roll over?"

"Pshhh, piece of cake. Fido, roll over," Joe ordered his dog. Fido looked at Joe for a few moments not listen, "Fido! Roll, over," Joe commanded again. The dog this time listen as he did a quick roll over on his back and than back up. "GOOD BOOOY," Joe praised as he gave his dog a lot of petting and praise.

"Easy," Tommy remarked, "Mr. shit, roll over."

Mr. Schlitt was annoyed at his new name. However he would rather be called that than turn out like the others... So Mr. Schlitt tried to roll over.

It was at this time that Mr. Schlitt found that he couldn't really roll over. The new found fear struck him hard as he watched Tommy starting to get a little pissed at his bug not doing as he was order. Mr. Schlitt looked at the glass wall. It was his only chance! Mr. Schlitt ran to the wall and used his upper body to press off the glass and land on his back. Now he just had to roll...

Mr. Schlitt was stuck.

Like most bugs, when they got on their back it was nearly impossible for them to flip up right. Mr. Schlitt couldn't get up off his back and laid there splayed out unable to roll over.

"Pwahahah," Joe laughed at Mr. Schlitt's predicament. "Stupid bug."

Tommy, annoyed at his bug, shook the jar flinging Mr. Schlitt back off his back after hitting the glass jar a few times. "Whatever..."

"I guess I'm next," Mark asked as he thought up a trick, "How about play dead?"

Joe quickly looked at Fido, "Ok boy... play dead." Fido looked at Joe and tilted his head not understanding. "Come on boy. Play dead... play dead, play dead...play DEAD!" Joe tried over and over, but Fido just didn't understand or didn't want to. The dog panted before getting up and walking away. "NO FIDO!" Joe called out as his dog seemed bored with his master saying play dead.

"Hahaha, alright Mr. Shit... play dead, or you will be," Tommy ordered with a good threat behind it.

Mr. Schlitt didn't know how he was suppose to play dead but did the only thing he could think of. He let his legs give out and laid out with his legs sticking out and didn't move an inch.

"Did... is it playing dead," Mark asked not sure.

Joe headed over to the jar and gave it a good shake, "If he moves he's not playing dead." Joe responded.

Mr. Schlitt didn't move an inch as he was shaken around the jar slamming into the glass sides. He even landed on his back, yet he didn't budge an inch.

"I think... yeah, it's playing dead alright," Mark commented. "Mr. Shit wins this round," Mark laughed in disbelief. "What kind of dog can't play dead," Mark asked Joe.

"Shut up, he can do other things..." Joe defend his dog who was busy licking himself.

"It's 1 to 1." Tommy told everyone. "So, Kyle, what's the last command?"

Kyle looked at both the bug and the dog. "Dude, I don't even know... why don't you guys like surprise me? Whoever can do the coolest and most epic command wins."

"What do you mean, like we have to teach them something?"

Kyle shrugged, "Sure. I'll give you both 10 minutes."

Joe laughed, "You know what they say you can teach a new dog tricks, but not a bug," Joe remarked as he headed off to another room, "Can't have you stealing my idea."

"Whatever," Tommy called out to him. "Alright Mr. Shit, what do you got? You have to have something you can do," Tommy asked him.

Mr. Schlitt was stumped. How the fuck did he talk to him and tell him that HE WAS A PERSON?!

Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, Mr. Schlitt saw something. It was a small jar of sugar. Hurriedly, Mr. Schlitt pointed and made jesters toward the sugar. He was trying to get Tommy's attention but he seemed to be looking away from Mr. Schlitt as he tried to think of something.

"FUCKING LOOK OVER HERE!" Mr. Schlitt cried out.

As if Tommy could hear, Tommy looked down at Mr. Schlitt. He looked confused at his behavior, "Hey what are you doing?" It was now he looked in the direction of where he was looking. "Oh you hungry?" Tommy tilted the jar that Mr. Schlitt was in and put him on the counter. Tommy grabbed the jar full of sugar and popped the top off the jar, Tommy poured a smile pile of sugar out for Mr. Schlitt.

Mr. Schlitt wasted no time heading for the sugar. Instead of eating it like Tommy thought he was, Mr. Schlitt did the only thing he thought that would help him. He started to push the sugar around and tried to write something in the grains of sucrose with his body. Mr. Schlitt wasn't sure if Tommy understood his thinking, but he was hoping that by some miracle he was watching or at least saw what he was doing.

"I got my trick," Joe called out as he headed back into the room with everyone. "Alright watch this." Joe said sounding excited at his discovery. "Fido," Joe said to his dog, "Shake," Joe offered out his hand. Fido put up one paw and held it out for Joe to shake his hand. "Good boy, whose a good boy, you are... yes you are. Better than a stupid bug, yes you are so much better than a dumb bug," Joe kept praising his pet over Mr. Schlitt.

Kyle shrugged, "That's cool I guess, what do you got?"

Tommy looked down at Mr. Schlitt who was busy trying to spell out in the sugar his name. He bearly was done with half his name when Tommy's eyes lit up, "I got something better," Tommy laughed as he picked up Mr Schlitt from the sugar.

"NO WAIT," Mr. Schlitt said as Tommy quickly scrubbed out all his hard work. Tommy covered up the letters Mr. Schlitt wrote out and poured more sugar.

Tommy set Mr. Schlitt down, "Ok, Mr. Shit, say hello."

Mr. Schlitt angrily wanted to tell him to go eat shit, but they couldn't hear him. He watched as all the other teens circle around to watch. Wait... this was perfect! He could write out his message for them to finally read.

With a new found sense of victory in sight, Mr. Schlitt ran into the sugar. He quickly wrote out the H.

"Dude, no way... how," Mark said in disbelief.

"This is one smart bug," Kyle responded as he watched.

"... he's just getting lucky," Joe said not wanting to believe what he was seeing.

Mr. Schlitt finished with the H and went into an once he completed the E he went into the L. The teens watched in amazement as Mr. Schlitt wrote out HEL and was about to go for the P in help for them to see. Finally after a lot of hard work, Mr. Schlitt wrote HELP in the sugar and looked up at the teens at their reaction.

"He did it," Tommy said excited, "It's HELLO."

"I don't know," Joe skeptically said as he pointed to the P, "That O is kind of high up in the sugar. I don't think that counts."

"Oh come on, I don't see your dog spelling anything with his paw. Besides, hes a stupid bug, he doesn't know how to write that well yet," Tommy defended.

Mr. Schlitt looked at the two teens, are they idiots? it's not hello it's help! WITH A P!!!

"I think it's good enough," Kyle said. "Tommy wins."

"Oh yeah," Tommy said excitedly as he picked up Mr. Schlitt and set him in the jar. He didn't waste any time scrubbing the word HELP out of the sugar and wiping down the counter. "Fucking smartest bug in the world. Oh yeah, this guy going to be famous! Shoot, we should have recorded this! Could post it online as, Bug beats Dog!" Than Tommy laughed, "Or Bug smarter than Dog?"

"That was all luck," Joe argued pissed at how Tommy was acting.

"I don't know," Mark argued, "That's one smart bug," Mark told Joe.

Joe was now shaking his head, "You guys are idiots..."

"So, where's my $20," Tommy asked

While the two teens kept arguing about the validity of the competition and everything else, Mr. Schlitt looked at all of them. How could they not see his message? Were they that blind or that simple minded?! Anyone would have noticed the word help, hell he was a bug that was able to understand human speech!! Everyone else would have found this bizarre and even try to communicate with it! But not these kids... they were too busy goofing off and making fun of each other.

Suddenly the bell rang.

"Oh right, the pizza," Tommy said instantly forgetting about the contest they just had. He went to the door and started to get the money to pay for the pizza.

"Pst... Justin," Joe whispered. Mr. Schlitt looked to Joe who was standing near him.

"What?"

"Slide me the bug," Joe told him.

Mr. Schlitt looked at Justin and he shook his head at the idea. Don't do it kid...

Justin didn't seem to see any harm in it. Justin slide the jar with Mr. Schlitt over to Joe who grabbed the jar.

"TOMMY HELP!" Mr. Schlitt called out.

"You think your so smart," Joe seemed to ask coldly, "Well, let's see if your smart enough to avoid being doggy chow. Fido," Joe called out. Mr Schlitt watched as Joe picked up the jar he was in and held it over Fido's head. "Looky what I got, you want another tasty treat?" Fido licked his lips again and looked up at Mr. Schlitt from below. He must have spotted him in the jar, that or he though Mr. Schlitt really was a doggy treat. Fido let out a little whine as he began to wag his tail.

Mr. Schlitt looked for help from the other teens, they all seemed more interested in seeing the dog eat another bug. Tommy was still paying for the pizza to even notice.

"Here you go boy," Joe said smiling. "You deserve a nice treat for all the hard work."

Mr Schlitt felt the jar tilting. Not wanting to fall, Mr. Schlitt tried to escape or hold onto something, but the glass was impossible for him to hold onto. Soon the jar was almost all the way tilted and he was falling toward the opening. Fido looked to be well aware of the situation and tilted his head up and looked up at Mr. Schlitt with a hungry look in his eyes. Mr. Schlitt couldn't take his eyes off the dog's face as the jar finally tipped upside down and he tumbled out of the jar. Mr. Schlitt started to fall downward toward the waiting dog.

Time seemed to slow for Mr. Schlitt as he fell downward slowly. He heard the other teens laughing as they watched him fall toward the dog who opened his mouth wide open. His tongue sticking out to catch Mr. Schlitt if he tried to dodge the open black hole that was gaping wide open for him. The large tongue covered so much space that it would be impossible for Mr. Schlitt to avoid that or the gaping throat. Mr. Schlitt smelled the dog breathe as he fell toward the inky blackness that was right below him. Soon Mr. Schlitt past the dog's jaw and rows of teeth, he landed on a slick and slimy surface. Before Mr. Schlitt could recover or move, the surface started to retract. The large tongue was pulled back in as the dog went to eat his well deserve treat that was Mr. Schlitt. Mr. Schlitt was hit with a wave of doggy saliva as the goo attached to him and drenched him in the nasty slimy goo.

"DUDE WHERE'S MY BUG," Tommy called out.

"I guess your bug wasn't that smart, looks like he's going to be Fido's shit tomorrow morning" Joe taunted.

"TOMMY HELP!" Mr. Schlitt called out with the doggy spit in his face covering him with more dribble of saliva. Yet the dog hadn't swallowed yet or started chewing. Why wasn't the dog doing anything.

"But," Joe said laughing, "Fido, OPEN! Ahhhhh," Joe said to the dog. To Tommy and Mr. Schlitt's amazment, Fido did as Joe commanded. Mr. Schlitt crawled on the dog's tongue but was too slick to get away. He was slipping and sliding on the droll as the dog held him on the surface of his tongue. "You can get him if you want," Joe told Tommy.

Mr. Schlitt looked at Tommy and waited for the teen to save him. He wouldn't care if he was a bug for the rest of his life, just he didn't want to be eating by a dog!

"Tommy..." Mr. Schlitt called out. "Tommy? Wh-why are you waiting?"

Tommy looked annoyed and disgusted at Mr. Schlitt. He finally let out a disappointed sigh, "Nah... whatever. Fido can have him, he's covered in dog spit. Alright here's the pizzas," Tommy said carrying the pizza out of Mr. Schlitt's view.

"WHAT?! TOMMYYYYYYY!" Mr. Schlitt screamed as the teen just left him in the dogs mouth.

"You heard him boy," Joe said sounding pleased, "EAT!"

Mr. Schlitt felt the tongue move faster than he could move as it darted back into the dog's mouth. Mr. Schlitt was assaulted with more and more saliva than before as the dog did a quick gulp. Mr. Schlitt flew down the throat of the large furry creature as he screamed for help. The smell of disgusting dog spit and whatever else it had eaten started to grow stronger as he slide down and down into the stomach of the dog. Mr. Schlitt splashed into a slimy pile of dog saliva and whatever was in Fido's gut. Mr. Schlitt felt a piece of something hard touch him... it had to have been pieces of John.

"GET ME OUT!" Mr. Schlitt cried out for help, only to hear the sound of Fido's heart and digestion all around him. The muffled sounds of the teen's talking and laughing could be heard. Mr. Schlitt tried to crawl through the sloppy slush of Fido's stomach juices but found it hard to swim and crawl in here as things moved too much. Each step the dog made sloshed things around. Mr. Schlitt was petrified as he stewed away in the extremely warm and hot gut of the enormous canine.

Suddenly the sound of chomping could be heard before it was followed by a splatter like sound as something smelling of pizza landed near Mr. Schlitt.

They must be feeding Fido...

Mr. Schlitt was left in the gut as the teen were tossing scraps and piece of food to the dog who was greedy eating them up. Mr. Schlitt soon was starting to get packed into the gut with all the pizza toppings and crust that the kids didn't want. Mr. Schlitt was having a hard time staying out of the mush remains as they grind and collided with him. Mr. Schlitt was losing any air he had as there was a low gurgling coming from below him. Suddenly the slime chamber full of pizza started to vibrate as it started to break down faster. Acids were working faster and harder than before as the mounds of pizza crust and pepperoni and whatever the other stuff was being drenched and covered in acids. That included Mr. Schlitt who was starting to lose his consciousness just as parts of him started to melt and break off of himself. Last thing he heard before he passed out was the dog let out a slight burp before gulping down another thing of food to collide into Mr. Schlitt and bury him in the messy sludge of doggy food.

"Dude your dog just burped," Justin pointed out as he tossed a small chunk of his pizza crust to it.

"Maybe we should stop feeding him." Joe pointed out as he got up and poured some water for the dog to greedily gulp down. "Anyway, when does Mr. Shit come back?"

"Who the bug," Kyle asked confused.

Both Joe and Tommy laughed before Tommy explained, "Nah, it's my neighbor's name, Schlitt."

"Sounds like shit," Joe pointed out laughing.

"Anyway," Tommy said, "He'll be back like a few days. So, you guys want to hang out some more? Could use that killer cannon some more."

"Killer cannon," Mark, Justin, and Kyle perked up at the sound of something awesome.

"Yeah," Tommy said sound excited, "it like turns shit to ash or blows it up." Tommy shrugged, "No idea what it's suppose to do, but its fun as shit. You guys got something you want to blow up?"

Joe was walking Fido down the street on the normal routine path they liked to walk. It was about the same time as usually when they both were coming up to the same spot that Fido found was the best place to take his morning shit, Mr. Schlitt's yard.

"Time to do your bussniess boy," Joe said as he watched Fido walk into the yard. Sure enough, Fido sniffed around a little before finding the perfect spot to start to squat.

Joe pulled out his phone and snickered as he took a picture of his dog dropping his load in the lawn. It was a massive one for Fido, maybe from all that pizza the other day. Anyway the dog plopped a nice big dog turd in the yard. Joe took a good picture of Fido shitting and did a quick post to Click Chat. "Fido taking his morning shit in MR SHIT'S yard. Winky face#morning dump #Mr.SHIT" Joe laughed as he did one more close up to the mound of crap left by his happy looking dog. Fido came bounding back as Joe took a picture of the mound of shit and sent a text to Tommy, "Fido left a gift for Mr. Shit, he might want to pick it up when he gets back or it might attract bugs LOL"

Joe sent the picture to Tommy before heading off with Fido to finish their walk. If Joe or anyone looked at the images close enough they would have spotted the remains of an insect stuck in the brown pile of doggy poop. But no one would really care about a shitty bug, it was just a stupid bug after all.