Chapter 14

“Wh-what!?!” sputtered Raymond, recovering from briefly choking to gape at his younger sister. Clara just sat there, looking at him steadily from across the dining room table. She put her weight training book down and folded her arms on the table, leaning forward so that her young breasts bulged slightly over them.

“What did you say!?!” asked Raymond again, his voice rising to a bit of a higher pitch. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Oh my god you totally did,” said Clara, as a slow smile started to crawl across her face. “You and Katherine, like…totally banged.” 

“N-no…no we didn’t!” cried Raymond. But there was no hiding the deepening redness in his cheeks and neck, or the fact that his breathing had quickened noticeably quickened. Clara’s question had come totally out of left field, leaving Raymond flailing. 

“What was it like?” whispered Clara, leaning forward against the table even more. “She must have totally dominated you.”

“Stop it Clara!” shouted Raymond, bringing his fist slamming down on the table, rattling his spoon and cereal bowl and making a little milk spatter. “We didn’t have sex last night!!” In his mind, Raymond was trying to convince himself that he was telling the truth. Technically, he and Katherine hadn’t had penetrative sex, so he could totally be confident in what he was saying…right??

“Hmmm, yeah…I think you’re lying,” said Clara, her smile widening. “I mean, look at you — you’re all red and flushed and sweating, haha!” 

“I…am….not…lying!!” exclaimed Raymond. At this point he didn’t care if it seemed like his reaction was too over-the-top. Clara’s inappropriate behavior was really getting out of hand, and he had to snuff it out by standing firm. 

“Haha, well…” chuckled Clara, leaning back in her chair as she continued to regard her older brother steadily. “Something happened between you two last night. I saw you pull up in the uber at, like, 5 in the morning, and you got out and talked to Sarah through the door for a second and the car drove off and you just stood there for a minute, watching the whole time until the car was gone.”

“That’s messed up Clara!” complained Raymond. “You were staying up that late, just waiting for me to get home so you could spy on me??” 

“Nope!” corrected Clara. “I went to bed super early last night, and woke up early to do some early-morning exercises, just like this book says to do.”

“You got up at 5am to…work out?!” asked Raymond, cocking his head.

“I know, I know,” nodded Clara, “It’s hard for you to even imagine waking up that early, but I told you that I’m gonna take this training stuff seriously.” 

“I…whatever,” said Raymond, shaking his head as he brushed his hand in front of his face. “So you saw me get home late. So what? That doesn’t mean anything happened between me and Katherine!” 

“Yeah…I saw how you watched the uber drive away,” said Clara, miming his earnest and unblinking face following a moving car. “And…I saw how you looked at her when we were weight training…plus I saw how you “cleaned up” for the party. You never bother to pay attention to your appearance…never! That is, until last night…haha, really Raymond? A Nirvana t-shirt?”

“Katherine likes that band!” blurted out Raymond, and then his face colored at Clara’s laughter. He had given himself away even more. “And I do too!” he added truthfully. “They’re a great band! You younger people and all your electro-pop crap don’t understand what real music sounds like!”

“Hey, I like Nirvana too!” Clara leaned forward again in her chair. “Kurt Cobain was soooo cute.”

“Oh here we fucking go…” said Raymond, rolling his eyes. 

“And he was such a small little guy too,” added Clara, cocking her head to the side as she drew up a picture in her mind. “If he was still alive I would cuddle him so hard.” 

“Ok, well, whatever Clara, I’m — ”

“Obsessed with Katherine?” cut in Clara. “Yeah, I know, Raymond. That’s pretty obvious at this point.” 

“I’m…that’s not even…you’re the one obsessed with Katherine!” burst out Raymond. 

“Oh my god I soooo am,” said Clara dreamily, looking off into the distance. “She’s totally my idol. I wanna be like her.” 

“Well…uh…good luck with that,” said Raymond pitifully, not knowing what else he could say. He realized that in saying this, he was only further proving Clara’s point. 

“Uh-uh, I think you’re the one who needs all the luck Raymond,” concluded Clara, going back to her book. “To think that someone like Katherine would go for someone like you is, like…totally crazy.”

Raymond opened his mouth, but closed it again, thinking that it would be a mistake to reveal any details of the previous night to his younger sister. 

“Yeah, it would almost be like inter-species intercourse, at this point,” chuckled Clara. 

“You’re disgusting, you know that?” said Raymond, irritatedly getting up from the table. “The shit that goes in your mind, Clara. It’s…it’s the fucking internet, that’s what it is. People your age thinking about all this inappropriate crap. You…you should be focused on…on your schoolwork, you know.”

Clara slightly lowered her book and looked at Raymond hard for a few seconds, before bringing her eyebrows together and up, almost in pity. 

“O-k little brother…whatever you say.” 

Raymond left the room in a huff, and was about to storm up to his room when his pocket buzzed. His heart leapt up as he checked his phone. Katherine…a text from Katherine!! It read: 

“Hey Raymond, can we meet up at a coffee shop or something this afternoon?”

Raymond immediately texted back: “Sure thing! Or maybe we could even grab dinner too, haha?”

He didn’t know why he was being so bold…he was hardly thinking at all…just operating on some kind of autopilot. Katherine buzzed back almost instantly.

“Just coffee, Raymond. We need to have a talk.” 

Raymond felt himself deflate, as his excitement took on a new and unpleasant flavor. His next text reflected his uncertainty and confusion. “Uh, ok sure. When and where?” 

An hour later, he was waiting in line at the local coffee shop, when his turn came. He had been surprised to have arrived at the coffee shop before Katherine. 

“Uh, could I have a, uh, mocha?” he asked the barista.

“Yes sir that’ll be $4.27,” she said, looking slightly up at him. He inserted his card in the chip reader, but a moment later the barista was shaking her head. 

“It didn’t go through, sir,” she said. 

“Huh?” he asked.

“It declined your card, sir,” she said simply. 

“What?” he asked blankly. “Uh…I thought that they…uhh…put more in my account…” 

“I’ll get his,” said a rich female voice behind and above and behind him. A large, womanly, and solidly-developed forearm appeared next to the right side of Raymond’s face and extended downward, brandishing a credit card. “And just a small coffee for me, thanks.”

“Right away, ma’m,” said the barista, looking up at the source of the voice with evident, impressed surprise. Raymond knew instantly that it was Katherine and turned around to face her. He found himself staring straight into the top of her breasts, which were stretching a plain white t-shirt as tight as he could’ve believed possible. Katherine looked down at Raymond, giving him a small smile. Even though she was unquestionably gorgeous, she didn’t exactly look like she was in the best shape. Her blond hair was unbrushed and slightly disheveled, her normally-flushed and vibrant face was slightly pale, and her expression, even though she was smiling, was troubled. 

“Uhh..th-thanks Katherine…uhh…s-sorry about — ”

“Don’t worry about it, Raymond,” she said, brushing away his concern with her hand as she pulled her card out of the slot and accepted her coffee over his shoulder. “Let’s…let’s go find a place to sit down. Your mocha’s gonna take a minute.” 

They found a little table and sat down; Raymond noticed how Katherine’s huge body completely filled her chair, her big ass spilling over amply on both sides of the seat. Her thighs were so big that, with her feet flat on the floor, they nearly upended the unsteady little table. Katherine let out a little laugh and shook her head, letting her thighs sink lower in her chair as she balanced her feet on her toes under her seat. Raymond’s eyes were going up and down her body shamelessly, a silly grin on his face, completely enraptured by her curves, her muscles, her size, her entire presence. He was getting hard without even realizing it; his mind was stuck back in the previous night, remembering what was pleasant in the moment, and forgetting what was convenient to forget. 

Katherine looked down at him, watching his eyes moving over her body, and her heart sank. This is exactly what she had been afraid of…and it was all her fault. After the uber had driven her away from Raymond’s parents’ last night, she had capped off her night of debauchery by fucking the uber driver, who had been only too happy to oblige. Katherine had almost felt like she didn’t have control over herself — it had all been such a rush at the party, to preside over and direct such a kinky orgy…to actually play the dom role, and to see the effect that it had had on her ex-boyfriend. Their sexual dynamic had been blown wide open — everything that Katherine had suspected had been confirmed. She was intensely aroused by her overwhelming physical and mental superiority to Raymond, and there was no absolutely no denying that he felt an equal and opposite arousal to being smaller than her…lesser than her. All of this had been made abundantly clear last night, and it was all well and good while they were both drunk and surrendering to the sheer carnal bliss of the power dynamic. It was all so intensely pleasurable for Katherine in particular that she had needed a little “nightcap,” which she had no troubled in eliciting from the enthusiastic and overwhelmed uber driver. He hadn’t lasted two minutes before Katherine was climbing off him, thanking him for the drive.

But when Katherine had woken up later that morning, her carnality had vanished. Perhaps it was the mild hangover she was experiencing, but a few ibuprofen helped to solve that. Her troubles were emotional. 

‘What the fuck was I doing last night?’ she asked herself chidingly. ‘What on earth gave me the idea that involving Raymond in all of that was ok?’ She had tried to distract herself by reading a few public health articles in French, and by browsing through the world news on Al Jazeera, but after an hour or so she closed her laptop in a frustrated huff. She was going to have to have a talk with Raymond and apologize. There was no way…there was just no way…that any of this was going to work out well. While it was true that, during this summer vacation, Raymond had helped her uncover and clarify certain aspects of her own sexuality, that didn’t mean that she, Katherine, needed to be involved with him in that way. She enjoyed being big, tall, and strong…and she enjoyed being all those things in relation to other, smaller men…men like Raymond…no, wait…not like Raymond…yes…maybe…Katherine tried to tell herself that she didn’t know. But she couldn’t hide from herself; she knew the truth, and the truth was that she was attracted to Raymond precisely because he was shorter than her, smaller than her…lesser than her. She loved seeing how she could overwhelm him, make him gape, make his little eyes plead. She loved feeling that kind of effortless control, the kind of control that she could maintain with nothing more than a look, or a wave of her hand. 

It was a dangerous feeling…at least, that’s what Katherine was thinking right now. It felt dangerous…irresponsible…wrong. As she drove to the coffee shop, she had wondered whether these feelings were actually wrong in general, or just wrong in the context of her and Raymond. 

‘It’s me and Raymond,’ she thought to herself, feeling a swell of enthusiasm at the prospect of exploring these kinds of feelings with other people, both men and women, back at Stanford. Back where everyone she was around was…put together. She felt bad for thinking these things, but what could she do about it? It was just true. It had been a really, really stupid idea on her part to pursue these urges with Raymond, someone who was clearly not on the same page. True, he may have the sexual urges that would partner well with hers in theory, but there was no way that Raymond had the emotional intelligence, or the mental wherewithal, to handle a dominant-submissive relationship with her. There was just no way. Of that, Katherine was dead certain. 

‘And if I knew that already, then why the fuck did I let myself do all that with him last night?’ she thought to herself viciously as she pulled up to the coffee shop, got out, and slammed her car door. She was furious at herself. What she had done was nothing more than use Raymond for her own sexual pleasure, without regard for his emotional wellbeing. She wouldn’t let herself forget this…never again would she let something like this happen. And the only thing to do now was to close the door gently but firmly in Raymond’s face. 

“So,” said Katherine across the little table, taking a deep breath and looking Raymond squarely in the eyes. “Last night was a mistake, Raymond. I want to apologize to you.”

“Ap-apologize!?” blurted Raymond, his eyebrows smashing into each other. “B-but Katherine, I don’t — ”

“Hear me out, Raymond,” said Katherine, patiently but firmly taking his hand. Just feeling the contrast of the weak boniness of his hand to the size and strength of hers was enough to make her clit twitch. She looked down at Raymond, whose eyes lit up at her touch. She felt a wave of disgust at herself and let go of his hand. 

“Just, hear me out,” she repeated. “Last night was…amazing for so many reasons, obviously. it was all super sexy, and I think we all…all of us…had a, uh…a really nice time, right?”

“Right!” said Raymond, enthusiastically nodding. 

“But Raymond,” said Katherine carefully, leaning in to peer at him closely. “I need you to know that…that last night didn’t mean anything more than…than what is was, ok?”

Raymond’s lip twitched and Katherine felt a surge of tender affection for him, even as it was coupled by genuine irritation. Did the little guy…really think…really think that they were going to…? But she shoved all of these feelings down and kept going. 

“We both found out some pretty intense things about ourselves last night and…uh…and we had fun exploring those sexual dynamics. But I feel that…that I let myself go too far last night, Raymond, and…and I don’t want you to get any false ideas about me, uh…me and you being involved with each other again.”

“S-so,” said Raymond slowly, “Y-you don’t…you’re not attracted to me?”

“Tall mocha!” called the barista. 

“That’s you, Raymond,” said Katherine. But Raymond didn’t budge. Katherine let out a chuckle. “Raymond, I promise I’m not going anywhere. Just get your drink, ok, and we’ll keep talking.” 

Like a zombie, Raymond got up and fetched his mocha, came back, and sat down. Katherine took another deep breath. This was gonna be the hard part. 

“So, to answer your question, Raymond,” she said carefully and clearly, “and I really don’t want to make you feel bad, but I’m just telling the truth — I’m only attracted to you in terms of…because I have fun dominating you.” Katherine noticed a man turn inquiringly over form an adjacent table. Feeling a rush of rage, she glared at the man, and he quickly turned away. 

“D-dominating me?” asked Raymond blankly. Katherine sighed.

“Yes, Raymond. I really should be thanking you, because you’ve helped me learn this about myself. It had been turning over in my mind for a while, I think, but you really helped…uh…uncover this aspect of myself.” 

“What aspect?” asked Raymond, blinking his eyes. Katherine laughed a little, trying to behave warmly. 

“You helped me realize that I get turned on by physically and mentally dominating guys who are smaller than me,” said Katherine, doing her best to smile at him. “I think it’s really hot that I’m taller than you, bigger than you, stronger than you…” Katherine was about to add all the emotional and life-pursuit aspects, but as she took in Raymond’s blank expression, she thought better of it. “Basically, I get really turned on by being strong and aggressive and dominant in a…in a sexual encounter,” she continued. “And…and our size difference really, uh…you know, accentuates that power disparity. Like…and I hope you don’t mind, Raymond, this is just an example — look at our arms side by side here. You see that? Mine’s like at least twice as big as yours. Plus it’s longer…and stronger in every way. Just like the rest of my body. And that turns me on. And I know it turns you on too. Right, Raymond?” 

Raymond just stared wordlessly for a few seconds before nodding his head slightly.

“Raymond,” said Katherine, “I need you to tell me what’s happening in your head right now. Don’t just nod because I tell you to.” 

She closed her lips and sat there, waiting for Raymond to respond. For a full twenty seconds, he didn’t say anything at all. His brain was confused, and totally overwhelmed. But Katherine just sat there silently, not giving him an opportunity to dodge her prompting. 

“I…I, uh…I just, uhhh…really liked last night,” he said. “And…uh, I don’t…uhh…don’t understand why it was…um…a mistake.” 

“What did you like about last night?” asked Katherine, folding her arms across her big chest. 

“Uhhh…seriously?” asked Raymond, starting to chuckle a little. 

“No Raymond, seriously,” said Katherine, forcing herself to smile. “What turned you on about it?”

“Uhhh…everything,” he said, chuckling some more as he threw up his hands. 

“You do realize, though,” said Katherine, leaning in closer, her boobs and arms bulging, “that what happened last night wasn’t some orgy where everyone just fucks and that’s it, right!?”

“Uhhhh,” said Raymond uncertainly. “W-wasn’t…wasn’t that what happened?”

“What happened last night,” said Katherine, in as controlled a voice as she could muster, “Was that Ella and I totally dominated you…physically, emotionally…sexually.”

Raymond just sat there, looking at Katherine hollowly. “Y-yeah…yeah I know,” he said simply, after a while. 

Katherine looked at him piercingly for a few moments and then sat back. “And you were into it, weren’t you?”

“Y-yeah,” Raymond nodded. That much he knew — there wasn’t really getting around it. But he didn’t know why Katherine was seeming to harp on all of this stuff. Hadn’t she enjoyed it all too? 

“Well…I did too,” said Katherine. “I really enjoyed it, Raymond. And that’s why I feel like it was a mistake.”

“W-why?” asked Raymond. 

“Because,” said Katherine quietly, “I didn’t want to make you feel like it was possible for us to re-start our relationship.”

“W-why not?” blurted Raymond. 

“Any relationship that we had would have to be based around those dynamics, Raymond. That dominant-submissive dynamic. That’s the only way anything could possibly happen again between us.”

“Why?” asked Raymond again. Katherine was irritated — was he really going to make her say it?

“Because that’s how things are between us!” she whispered at him. “You aren’t on my level, Raymond! You’re barely in school, you have no ambitions, you don’t look after yourself, you let your younger sister who’s barely a teenager walk all over you, and you…look, I’m irritated that you made me spell it out for you like that. But you had to hear it, ok? We can’t be together!”

“B-but…but what about in that dynamic?” Raymond asked desperately. “You said if we were gonna be together it would be like that. Why can’t we…uh…have a dynamic like that?” 

“Raymond,” said Katherine, sighing again, “You don’t have the capacity to be in that kind of a relationship right now. That kind of thing has to be based on mutual trust…and…and I just…” She was about to give more of an explanation, but she could feel herself getting more and more upset, and realized that she just had to end this right now. 

“I just can’t trust myself with it right now,” she finished. A few seconds of silence passed between them, and she reached out and clasped Raymond’s hand in her own again. 

“I don’t mean to put you down, Raymond, I really don’t,” she said truthfully, looking into his confused eyes. “And I’m not saying that I don’t want you to do well! I want you to find something you’re passionate about, Raymond! I want you to take care of your body and get that dynamism back, ok!? But please don’t do it for me, alright? Just do it for yourself. And please…don’t do it because you think we’re gonna get back together if you do, ok?”

“S-so,” said Raymond, “so…there’s no way that…that we can do anything like that again?”

Katherine was about to shake her head and respond with a firm “no,” but something made her hold back. The fact that Raymond was actually turned on by the same thing that she was turned on by…something about that congruence made her hold out. It seemed almost too good to be true. 

“Let’s…let’s just sit on it for a semester, ok?” she said, squeezing his hand warmly one more time before letting go. “I…uh, I think it’s clear that we’re both into the, um, the size difference between us…and, you know…the power dynamics of that, even if we aren’t sure what it means yet. Maybe…uh…maybe we can just think brood on it for a little, and…and revisit it over the Christmas holidays…ok?”

“Ok,” said Raymond, feeling deflated, and yet, at the same time, feeling something like hope for Katherine leaving the door open. Her eyes locked onto his and penetrated them for a moment, before she squeezed his hand one more time, got up, and swiftly left. Raymond sat there at the table, with two coffees, not feeling like he needed any more stimulation. 

*————————————* 

Six months later, Katherine was walking up to the Pierce’s front door, taking in a deep breath of fresh December air. She was back for the Christmas holidays, and had been invited over for a festive holiday meal by Mrs. Pierce, who had made it a point to invite her specifically. Katherine was nervous to accept, and she had almost said that she couldn’t come. But when Mrs. Pierce had mentioned that both Raymond and Clara were eager to see her, she had accepted the invitation with relief. She hadn’t been in contact with Raymond for months, and she had no idea what to expect. So he was eager to see her…which meant that he wasn’t angry with her — she didn’t quite know what to make of that. She hoped that he wouldn’t act like a puppy dog around her; she didn’t quite trust Raymond to play his cards close to the vest, so to speak. But maybe he had shaped up a little…hell, maybe he had given all his submissive sexual urges some actual thought. 

For her part, Katherine had thrown herself headlong into the BDSM scene in college. Her urges had been too strong not to engage, and, in a matter of months, she saw several submissives, both men and women, on a monthly basis. If Raymond could stomach that, and even better, if he thought it was hot, maybe something could happen between them again. That would be the test. 

Katherine rang the doorbell and looked around, enjoying the festive holly decorations on the Pierce’s front door, and the Christmas lights that sparkled and twinkled through the frigid December dusk. Somewhere in the distance, a merry violin was playing, and the smoke of crackling wood fires scented the cold air. Katherine breathed in a deep breath again — this was nice — this was gonna be fun — she would make it fun. No matter what. 

The door opened and Katherine’s jaw dropped. 

“Clara!” she cried, opening her arms wide. “Oh my god, look at you!!” 

“Hi Katherine!” exclaimed Clara, bounding forward and embracing the 6’4 amazon. “Oh my god, you got even bigger!” 

“I got bigger!?” laughed Katherine. “I’ve gained 10 pounds, Clara….you…you’ve —”

“I’ve gained 25,” she said proudly, thrusting her chest forward. “And…I’m almost 6 feet tall.” 

“I’d believe that!” said Katherine, her chest expanding as she looked over the young teenager, deeply impressed. “Good lord Clara, it looks like you’ve taken my training to heart, huh?”

“Totally to heart,” said Clara, putting her hand on her chest. She suddenly smiled deviously. “Wait till you see me next to Raymond.”