When Elaine and Hebe came into class, Q was already sitting in the usual spot. Q glared and then returned to staring at the front of class. Her troubled face lightened up a little bit when Elaine placed Hebe between them, but she didn’t move or say anything for the entire class. Occasionally during lecture she would get bored and bother Hebe by poking them with a pencil or a finger, but otherwise she was as quiet as she had been the past few times they had talked.

              At the end of class, Elaine and the other two went outside. Q had reached out for Hebe to join her on her hand, but Elaine had quickly snatched Hebe up in her fist before they had the chance to decide. The three walked outside together. The first chills of fall were starting to blow in, and Elaine pulled on her cardigan that she had draped over her backpack.

              “Well,” said Elaine, trying (and failing) to hide her discomfort, “uhm, I guess have fun?” Q once again held out her hand for Hebe. Elaine hesitated for several seconds before placing Hebe in Qs hand. Q grinned and brought Hebe close to her chest. She was wearing a lacy black top through which Hebe could easily see her bra. “If you need anything Hebe, just press the button. Q, you should also just call me if anything happens.” Elaine and Q exchanged a charged stare. “Uhm, Hebe, I can’t control what you do, but please be home before like midnight. Just for my wellbeing, I wouldn’t be able to sleep.” Hebe nodded but Q kept staring silently. Eventually, Elaine finally turned to go to her next class.

              “God,” she said to herself, “I feel sick.” This was the first time Hebe would be going to someone else’s place alone since Elaine and Hebe had become friends. And something still didn’t sit right with Elaine about Q. She was too interested in Hebe, and it didn’t feel like that interest was purely romantic.

              Q squeaked and wrapped her fist around Hebe, bringing them up to her face. “We’re gonna have so much fun!” Hebe felt very uncomfortable in Q’s tight grip, but didn’t want to be rude, so they just nodded.

              “Great,” they managed with a strained voice, “let’s get going.” Q put Hebe rather roughly into the pocket of her skinny jeans. Hebe found themself pressed almost immobile against the inside of Q’s pocket due to the tightness of her pants. They managed to shift around so that they weren’t suffocating, but it was far from comfortable, especially after Q sat down. If that wasn’t bad enough, on the bus ride home Hebe could feel Q’s finger exploring their outline in her pocket, occasionally finding somewhere on them to press down in what Hebe had to assume was affection. Q’s finger found Hebe’s back and pressed down harder than Hebe would have liked, deeper into Q’s leg.

              Finally, their stop arrived and Q stood up, allowing Hebe some more breathing room which before they had taken for granted. Q’s hand dove into her pocket and fished out Hebe, trashing them around in the process a bit. Not seeming to notice Hebe’s discomfort, she started showing Hebe around.

              “This is my apartment complex,” she said. It was a relatively nice place for the location. There were three stories in each of 5 separate complex buildings, the lowest story slightly inset into the ground. The grass was well kept & the sidewalks were clean. At the end of the sidewalk in between two of the complexes as a small water fountain that made gentle pleasant splashing noises as the water dripped its way down the stone slabs. Q turned and headed down into one of the inset apartment rooms.

              “I do have a roommate, Lexi, but she’s almost never home. I told her I have a date so she will probably leave us alone,” Q said, tossing Hebe into her other hand to get the keys. The inside of Q’s apartment wasn’t dirty, but it wasn’t particularly organized. There was a small pile of dishes laying in the sink and several articles of clothing strewn about the common area. Without comment, Q made her way into her own room. It was dimly lit by one small desk lamp and what little light made it in the partially sunken window. Q’s walls were mostly bare except for a mirror by the door and a corkboard, upon which some deadlines and to-do lists were pinned, many of which looked like they hadn’t been updated in quite some time. Q placed Hebe atop her white desk before moving to her closet.  She took off her vans and black socks, and began to take off her jeans right in front of Hebe. Hebe blushed and turned away. Q came back over to her desk wearing pajama shorts and smiled.

              “Aww sorry, did I embarrass you?” she said in a joking tone. Hebe’s face was pink.

              “You could’ve warned me at least, I wasn’t expecting that.” Hebe said, slightly offended.

              “It’s fine, we can get comfortable here.” Q took off her jacket, leaving only her lacy tank top on. “Do you want to eat?”

              “Sure,” said Hebe timidly. They were glad Q was so comfortable around them, but they weren’t sure they were equally comfortable around her. Q pinched Hebe in her fingers and walked them to the kitchen, setting them on the counter. She pulled out a plate and put some leftover beans and rice on it. She popped it into the microwave and pulled over a stool into the kitchen to sit in front of Hebe.

              “So,” she said, getting comfortable, “tell me about yourself.”

              “Uh, okay,” Hebe said, not sure what was even worth telling, “I’m nineteen, I’m a freshman, uhm, I’m not quite sure what I want to do but I know I want to do some kind of writing. Maybe journalism…” Hebe paused, gauging Q’s response. Strangely, Q wasn’t responding that much to what Hebe was saying. She was looking down with adoration but it didn’t seem she was listening at all.

              “Yeah…” Q said. Hebe was about to continue but the microwave went off. Q hopped up, shaking the stability of the counter Hebe was on. She brought the plate and a fork to the counter and set it next to Hebe. She began eating before giving Hebe any.

              “Uh, can you grab me a plate?” said Hebe, trying not to be too rude.

              “Here’s your plate right here!” Q gestured to the plate she was eating off of.

              “I don’t really know how I’m supposed to eat off of that…”

              “Just climb on! You’re strong,” Q said. Hebe felt blatantly insulted by this but was hungry enough to climb on and make their way over to the rice.

              Suddenly a fork crashed down in front of them, scraping against the plate and excavating the bite of rice Hebe was headed towards. “Woops!” Q said sarcastically, “try another one.” Hebe reached another bite of rice, this time with more success. They were used to eating with their hands, but were not so used to eating from the same plate as someone else, let alone from the same food while they were eating it. Q continued to scoop up bites of rice and beans, each bite coming uncomfortable close to Hebe, until only the bite Hebe was working on remained.

              “Are you gonna finish that?” Q joked.

              Hebe laughed. “No, this is almost the size of me.”

              “More for me then!” Q’s fork came crashing down behind Hebe, scooping them up with the bite of food in front of them.

              “Hey!” screamed Hebe, “Q what the fuck!”
              Q pretended not to hear. She opened her mouth and moved the fork towards it. Hebe could see piles of mashed up beans in her molars and some rice clinging to the back of her throat, which pulsated eagerly.

              “Q Jesus Christ put me down!”

              Q closed her mouth. Her pouting lips filled Hebe’s vision.

“What? Sheesh, I was just kidding.” She laughed and the bean smell washed over Hebe. Q returned the fork to the plate and let Hebe disembark. Hebe gave a nervous chuckle but was not amused at all.

              “Well if you’re full, let’s go back to my room!” Q more politely placed her hand in front of Hebe to climb on. The two walked back to Q’s room, this time coming to rest on her bed. Her bed was the nicest part of the room: the bedspread was clean and black, and half a dozen grey pillows lined its end. Above them, a white veil-like sheet was hung and fell around it, making it feel like a small cozy room, or to Hebe, like a mystical cave.

              Q set Hebe down on one of the pillows and crossed her legs, sitting across from Hebe.

              “Do… you want to tell me about yourself?” Hebe said awkwardly. They didn’t really know how to do the date-talk thing and were just taking queues from Q.

              Q smiled. “Sure! I’m a dance performance major, second year.”

              “Oh, that’s so cool!” Hebe said. “I’ve watched some contemporary dance videos, the stuff they do with their bodies is wild. Kind of over my head to be honest.”

              “Yeah, it’s a lot of fun. There’s a lot of drama though, but if you can look past that it’s a very fulfilling art form.” Hebe was feeling like they were finally getting a conversation going. Q’s next sentence made them worry about that. “By the way,” Q said, looking off into nothing, “who was that girl you were talking to before class?”

              Hebe was confused by what she meant. “Oh, you mean Sarah?” Hebe hadn’t noticed Q in the group of students that walked by while they were talking.

              “Sure,” said Q, rolling her eyes.

              “She’s just a friend of Elaine’s, they met through Volleyball club,” Hebe explained.

              “If she’s friends with Elaine why was she holding you?” She said, looking Hebe dead in the eyes now.

              “What? I mean, we’re friends too… Q what is this about?”

              “Do you like her?” Q said quickly.

              Hebe paused. “Do I like her? I mean, as a friend I’m glad to have her, but like… more than that?” Q’s brow was furled. “I mean, no. No she’s just friends with me through Elaine, they’re closer than I am. I’m not really interested in her if that’s what you’re asking.” Hebe was kind of annoyed, which caused them to be more upfront than they normally would be. “I don’t mean to be rude, but… Why is it important to you? This is our first date, I think it’s kind of early to be getting possessive.”

              Q took the hint and her face softened. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I know that was kind of presumptuous of me. It’s just…” Q shifted. She moved her legs which were crossed under her out behind her, laying on her stomach and lowering her face closer to Hebe. She propped her head up on her crossed arms. “I’m really attracted to you. And I was jealous. Sorry.”

              Hebe really didn’t know how to react to this kind of affection, since this was more or less the first time they had recieved it. Hebe tried to soften themself too and sat down in front of Q, gazing into her deep brown-almost-black eyes.  “Oh, it’s okay… I just…” Hebe was having difficulty communicating what they were feeling. While they were trying to decide what they felt, Q started leaning in.

               Hebe’s heart immediately started pounding. They had no idea what to do in this situation. Is this a kiss? they silently panicked. How do I even kiss at this size, there’s no way she’ll feel anything. Do I use my arms? Do I have to do tongue stuff? I’ve never done tongue stuff. Hebe was running out of time to think. Q had closed her eyes and her mouth was slightly agape. Hebe could feel the warm breath passing from between her pink mattress-sized lips. Timidly they just leaned their face forward, imitating what Q was doing. They closed their eyes and their entire face was enveloped in a warm, wet embrace. The two lips enclosed Hebe and massaged their entire upper form. Q took her time, applying some pressure into Hebe, and Hebe found it kind of nice. Hebe could feel and smell the peppermint-scented lip balm Q had used and pressed into it, letting the balm and saliva cover them as well. The two leaned into each other a bit more. Before Q let go, she gave Hebe’s face a soft lick with the tip of her tongue. Q pulled away beaming, but broke into laughter.

              “What?” Hebe panicked, “did I do bad?”

              “No,” Q said through laughs, “you’re bright red.”

              “Oh.” Hebe relaxed a little but tried to hide their face in their hands. Q simply laughed and grinned.

              “No, that was nice, actually,” she said, “I wondered what it would be like to kiss someone so tiny.”

              Hebe shrugged. “Acceptable?”

              Q’s smile widened. “More than.” She gave another quick unexpected peck before sitting up. She made a nervously expectant face. “Do you want to…” Q grabbed the hem of her own shirt and tugged meaningfully.

              Hebe’s anxieties were starting to melt away in the face of Q’s affection. They were comfortable taking off their shorts since they were wearing loose boxers underneath. They unbuttoned them and started to slide them off. Q’s face turned red, and she sighed and grinned. Hebe started to take off their top but Q bent down.

              “Can I help?” she said in a breathy, deep tone of voice. Hebe bit their bottom lip and nodded. Q carefully pinched the back of Hebe’s top and guided it over their arms and head, tossing it aside and leaving only Hebe’s binder.

              Q’s head turned in confusion. “What’s this?” she said, tapping the black fabric with one finger.

              Hebe got visibly embarrassed. “It’s, uhm…” they were trying to think of a way to explain without oversharing. “It's called a binder. Because of my gender, I have some body perception issues… this helps with that.”

              “Oh,” said Q. Hebe could see her eyes thinking. “Do you… want to take it off?”

              Removing their binder in front of someone wasn’t something they’d done with anyone but Elaine. It would be an enormous emotional ordeal to do so, and it was difficult to tell how their dysphoria would react. “I would rather leave it on…” they said, “if that’s ok.”

               “I don’t wanna push that right now,” Q said, looking disappointed, “but I do wanna push you!” Q poked Hebe with just enough force to knock them over onto the pillow. Hebe was still experiencing some discomfort with their binder being exposed, but tried to play along with Q nonetheless.

              Q carefully moved Hebe’s arms above them and pinned them to the pillow with two fingers. Hebe gasped and writhed, overcome by an unfamiliar but intoxicating feeling in their abdomen.

              “Oh,” Q whispered deviously, “you’re a sub, huh?” She bit her lip and applied more pressure, immobilizing Hebe’s arms about above them on the pillow. Hebe had no choice but to smile at this point, looking up at Q in anticipation. With her other hand, Q pressed a finger between Hebe’s legs. They closed up instinctively, but Q kept massaging until they gradually opened up for her. Q began to slide Hebe’s underpants off.

              That’s when Hebe started to feel uncomfortable. “Q,” they said quietly. Q didn’t seem to hear and was invested in de-clothing Hebe further. “Hey Q…” they said louder this time. Q’s smile faded and she looked up to meet Hebe’s eyes, where she saw obvious resistance.

              “Sorry…” she said, putting Hebe’s underwear back on and sitting up.

              Hebe immediately felt guilty for stopping Q’s fun. Admittedly, Hebe was having fun too, but they felt Q had breached a boundary without permission, and that had ruined it. Q handed Hebe back their clothes and reached for their phone.

              “I didn’t mean to offend…” Hebe started, but Q wasn’t paying attention. It looked like she was texting Elaine. Hebe pulled their shorts and top back on and sat at the edge of the bed. Q put her top and normal pants back on. This time Hebe didn’t look away and saw Q’s cute lacey black panties. Once they established better boundaries, Hebe was interested in becoming more intimate, but this time they simply weren’t comfortable with that.

              After some waiting in awkward silence, Q said “Elaine’s here.” She reached to allow Hebe passage on her palm, and walked barefoot out to the parking lot. The sun had just set and the sky was a dark navy, but light was still visible from over the horizon.

              “Thanks,” said Elaine, accepting Hebe as Q dumped them into her hands.

              “See you on Wednesday I guess,” Q said with a huff, and walked away.

              Elaine frowned. “Did it not go well?”

              “Can we talk about it at home?” Hebe said, “I kinda don’t want to talk about it out here.” Elaine understood and didn’t press the issue further.

              On the bus ride home, Hebe felt this inexplicable pang of loneliness suddenly. All of the emotions and hormones that allowed the high they had just experienced flushed from their body at once, leaving what felt like a social chasm in their chest. Hebe, still resting in Elaine’s palm, cuddled deeper into Elaine’s stomach where her palm was resting. Elaine felt this and immediately knew something had happened, but she could Hebe needed time to think about it and be in themself, so she didn’t question it. She just silently supported Hebe by giving them a tight squeeze and a loving glance.

              When they got home, Elaine placed Hebe on her bed before changing out of her school clothes. Hebe sat cross-legged with their hands on their head, trying to understand what was happening to them. Elaine slouched down into bed next to them and gave them an understanding smile. Nothing had to be said, but the invitation for Hebe to talk was there.

              Eventually, Hebe did speak up. “I don-“ their own voice surprised them and they stopped and choked on the words. They were crying, but they hadn’t noticed. Elaine offered a warm hand behind Hebe in support but didn’t interrupt. “I don’t know how I feel,” said Hebe hoarsely.

              Elaine frowned. “Can you be more specific?”

              Hebe tried. “I was enjoying it one second, like it was really really good. And then in an instant I just. It stopped.” Hebe put their head in their hands and sobbed for a moment. “Why can’t I be normal?”

              Elaine cried silently with her friend. “You mean your height?”
              “No it’s not even about that right now like, this would have happened if I was normal sized too.” Hebe said through their fingers. “We were in bed and having fun. But then she touched my binder, and she started to take off my shorts, and it all fell apart. I felt pleasure and fun and it all turned into fear.”

              Elaine was silent but her breaths intensified. They knew deep down Q would try something beyond Hebe’s comfort without permission. “What did you do?”

              “I asked her to stop, and she did, but I felt so bad afterwards.” Hebe sobbed. “I don’t know why I just felt like I’d fucked it up. Like it was my fault she had misunderstood the situation and I made it awkward.”

              Elaine wrapped her other hand gently around Hebe, cupping them in between. Hebe curled into the warm skin and the tension that was subconsciously plaguing their entire body relaxed a little.

              “Sweetie, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Elaine said. “You communicated your boundaries. That’s good, that’s normal, and it’s what everyone should do in that situation. Just because she wasn’t happy about it doesn’t make it your fault.” Elaine was also glad Q had actually stopped when she was told (it was more than she had expected of Q) but didn’t say that part. She opened up her palm and tried to meet Hebe’s eyes.

              “Is the dysphoria bad?” she asked. Hebe’s sobs intensified and she nodded, curling back into a ball. Elaine brought Hebe to her chest and cupped her hands over them while they got it out. When the sobs began to slow, she said quietly, “you know you’re the best you can be. And the most beautiful little themby friend I could ask for.” Hebe nodded. “Your body might not look how you want it to and that sucks. There’s not much we can do about it and I hate that.” Even though Elaine was only saying things they both knew were bad, Hebe started to loosen up, and the emptiness they felt on the bus started to go away. They felt understood.

              The two lay in silence together, continuing to communicate in nonverbal ways, until Elaine felt that Hebe had gotten it out. She leaned forward and let Hebe fall into her palm.

              “Did you have fun at least?”

              Hebe wiped their face with their sleeve and nodded. “It was nice,” they said, “to feel wanted. She was really into it,” Hebe laughed.

              “Would you go back?” Elaine asked.

              Hebe had to think about it, but they nodded. “Yeah,” they said, “I think if… we can like, talk about expectations, it’ll be better next time. And I do want to like… ‘go there,’ if you know what I mean. Just on my own terms.”

              Elaine smiled. She still didn’t like Q, but if Hebe trusted Q then so did she.

              “Let’s get some hot chocolate for my little hottie.”