“Okay, I’m 100% lost,” Stacy grumbled to herself. She had planned to use her GPS to guide her on this nature hike, but what she had forgotten was to charge her phone the night before. Figures that it had conked out in one of the deepest parts of the woods too. The universe really had it out for her today.

“Alright, let me go over it again. I went up that hill, then I went along the river for a bit, then I passed by a tree with a huge crack in it, then a white tree… or was it gray...or was it...FUCK! ALL THESE TREES LOOK THE FUCKING SAME!” Stacy yelled, tossing her dead phone into the foliage. She expected to hear the sound of it shattering against something, but that sound never came. Curious, she approached the foliage and worked her way through it, cursing at all of the branches and vines that impeded her progress.

Eventually, she made it all the way through, collapsing onto the dirt from the sudden change in resistance to her movements. 

“Dammit! I liked these jeans too…” Stacy growled. At this point, she desperately wanted to find civilization, though not because it would mean she could get home. Her main desire was to find someone living that she could yell at in a never-ending rant about how stupid cell phones are, among other things. 

Looking up from her jeans, she noticed something very odd. On the cliffside in front of her, she saw a gray, metallic door. Needless to say, it stood out from its surroundings. With slow, deliberate steps, she approached the door, growing more excited as she got closer, her mind filling with images of what could be behind it. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of it, her hand reaching for the handle without even realizing it.

*click* *click*

Locked. Of course it was. She looked at the handle, and above it was a standard-looking numerical keypad.

“I could be here all day punching numbers in!... Eh, I don’t have anything better to do. Let’s try...1-2-3-4,” she mumbled, not expecting it to work in the slightest.

As she gripped the handle and pushed down, it suddenly gave way, and the door slid open.

“You’re shitting me…” she said, flabbergasted. After a moment of appreciating her luck (and wondering how stupid the security guy must be), she pushed the door the rest of the way open.

In front of her sat a man. A naked man. A naked, hundred-foot tall man. Her eyes traced his body up to his face, which stared right into her eyes. He didn’t look angry. Rather than that, he looked bored, and the sight of someone new was the only bit of excitement he had felt in quite a while. 

She stood there frozen as his hand reached toward her, but before it could even touch her, her vision went black.

…

She woke up with a start, finding herself back home somehow and strangely, in her pajamas. She looked around, noticed nothing out of the ordinary, and said, “That was a dream wasn’t it…”

She habitually reached over for her phone, only to grasp the top of her wooden nightstand. Above everything that happened before she blacked out, the absence of her phone was what confirmed her suspicions. What she saw was real. 

But rather than think about why a company or the government was hiding a giant person in a secret bunker, or why there was a door leading to it in the middle of nowhere, or why some moron gave the door the easiest code to guess ever, only one thought crossed her mind:

“Dammit! If you’re gonna try to make me think that dude wasn’t real, you could at least get my phone first!”