When you own a shrink ray, molehills can become mountains. I mean this both figuratively and literally, since I have climbed the molehills in my backyard before and they have been as hard to surmount as actual mountains. Okay, enough with the tortured metaphor.

Today, thanks to having way too much free time on my hands, I stayed up all night making the mother of all dirt mounds in my backyard in the hopes of crafting my own Everest. Right now, the sun is just rising, and I've added plenty of steep cliff faces and whatnot so I can make it even harder to climb. Not really for any reason, just to make it all the sweeter once I make it to the top. After finishing the construction of my "mountain," I walk over to the shrink ray I placed on the table by the back door and start fiddling with its settings.

I figure that growing back after 12 hours or so should be enough, so I set that as my time limit. Also, I made my mountain suited for a climber who's about 1/2 an inch in height, so I set the size for that as well. After going back inside to get my supplies together, I put on my climbing gear, walk over to the base of my hill, and point the ray at my head. 3...2...1...zap!

I open my eyes, and I see a sight that never gets old. The leaves of grass that crumbled beneath my feet before are now the size of trees, eclipsing me with their shadows. By my side, I see some ants carrying some food off into the "forest," likely for their queen back at the nest. While I would love to observe all of this for as long as I could, I remember what I shrunk down for, so I walk towards my creation and begin my climb.

It is truly a different thing entirely from this perspective. I can see all of the features I had crafted with my normal-sized hands, from the cliff faces to the tiny stones I placed in the dirt to make spots to rest. It almost doesn't seem like I made it myself at this size, though I have to remind myself that I only shrunk a few minutes ago and that this perspective is temporary. I dig my hands into the dirt and begin my ascent.

--2 hours later--

This is proving to be more difficult than I thought. I'm not even an 1/8th up the mountain and I only have 10 hours left. I'll continue resting on this ledge for now, but I'll need to go a bit faster to stay on schedule.

--8 hours later--

Well, I am exhausted. I made it back on pace, but it definitely took a lot out of me. I'm now 5/6th the way up the mountain, so I'll need to stay consistent to reach the top in time.

--1 hour, 55 minutes later--

Oh my God, I'm so close. There's only 1 minute left and I can see the summit from here. I break into a run, the top almost within my reach. 3...2...1…

I return to my original size, and my heart sinks into my feet. I was so close...so unbelievably close, but I couldn't make it in time. I almost wanted to quit this altogether right then and there, but then my mood bounces back. I get off my now destroyed mound of dirt and get my shovel, ready to try again as soon as I recreate my mountain.