ACT III: La princesse revient

I awoke without having remembered how I fell asleep, still in my slipper bed. I peeked out cautiously over the rim of the lining, unwilling to face Merphomenee again. In spite of our angry argument yesterday, now that I had the benefit of a night's reflection I still wanted so much to throw myself into her hands and beg her to be my friend again. I did not catch sight of her immense stature; instead, Platina greeted me as I climbed out of the goddess' slipper for the morning repast. Having eaten nothing yesterday while my consciousness had been trapped in Merphomenee's body, I felt ravenous with hunger. "Hail, Mademoiselle Katalina," she greeted me. Evidently I had kept her waiting.

"Good morning, Plati - wait." My breath caught in my throat, recognizing the regal air about the short girl and the familiar way she held her head high. And of course Platina spoke not a word of Brabantine. "... Merphomenee?"

"How perceptive you are. I have bid my slaves prepare a meal for you," she told me.

I gathered up my skirts and hopped down from the slipper bed with as much dignity as I could retain, biting my lip nervously. "Goddess, I ..." With great effort I forced the words out. "... I apologize for my behavior yesterday."

She ignored my conciliatory overture. "I am arranging for your return to Theraveria," she declared, causing my heart to leap into my throat. Had Merphomenee changed her mind? Finally I would be permitted to return home! Impulsively I embraced Platina, but even then she still did not respond as her arms remained motionless at her side. "You will return as you came to us - I shall not have it said that I mistreated you in any way."

"... Mistreated me?" I asked, quite confused and unable to see any explanation looking down into Platina's unemotional eyes.

Platina stepped back out of my arms. I shot her a hurt look as she did so, but I suppose I have no cause for complaint, having rejected Merphomenee's compromise yesterday night. Now she used her human puppet to speak with me instead of her own voice. "When your hair has grown again to its former length you may leave us."

"... But that will require years!" I protested.

The vessel of the goddess nodded impassively. "Which is why I am releasing you from my hearth, Mademoiselle Katalina. From this day forth you are free to travel wheresoever you please in my world. My slipper shall be your bed no more. All of your expenses will be paid from the state coffers, however extravagant they might be. I will watch you closely and send one of my vessels to summon you when the time is right."

She turned to leave, stopping when I reached out and caught her shoulder. "Merphomenee! Stop treating me as a stranger! Did I not just abase myself before you?"

Platina did not even look at me. "You would not listen when I did likewise. Now I feel nothing for you," she said flatly. I sank to my knees as though she had struck me and tears welled up in my eyes. She stepped away from me without another word.

I never did say farewell to my friend Platina, nor did I see her again while I dwelt in Illyrica. That very day I departed the grand temple in Kircina and rented a room in a local shrine within the city. Before I left, she gave me a signet ring to wear, made of costly orichalcum and an intricately worked aetherial crystal which could only be shaped by magical artificing. This gift was known as the Goddess' Grace and entitled its bearer to privileges shown to those favored of the goddess, a trinket I could display to anyone if I required service. In a fit of pique at Merphomenee's cold aloofness I threw the ring away into a sewer that ran beneath the streets of Kircina, only for another of her vessels to silently return the Grace to me less than an hour later. Sullenly I accepted it back; I found that I only needed to show the ring to anyone and I would immediately receive the most sumptuous foods, the best apparel, the costliest gifts at no expense.

I lingered two months in Kircina, always watched by at least one of the goddess' human masks. If I needed anything that even her Grace could not procure for me, I only had to ask her. But our conversations always remained terse and businesslike. None of Merphomenee's vessels ever displayed any emotion to me after that fateful day in Phinos, not even when I slapped them in exasperation or broke down sobbing at their feet. Sometimes I screamed for her to leave me be; other times I desperately sought her shoulders to weep upon. Merphomenee showed me every courtesy and not a shred of warmth.

So I turned to other diversions in an effort to fill the goddess-shaped hole she had left in my heart, unable to entirely rid myself of her. I debated with the most eminent philosophers in Kircina, I attended the most popular theatrical productions, I dined on sumptuous feasts, I explored the entire city to drink in its glorious daytime accomplishments and its lively nighttime culture. Little of it satisfied me, for I always fell asleep to the placid expressions of her vessels. My dreams were often haunted by intimations of a future that could have been possible if only one of us had been less obstinate. I made many friends with my charm and intellect, but even the most agreeable male companionship and the most endearing affections with other women could not substitute for Merphomenee's company. When she returned to her grand temple I made up my mind to throw myself at her feet and beg her to simply smile at me, only to find the great doors barred to me.

Without recourse, I traveled away from Kircina with the trade caravans that plied their wares between the provinces. When one reckons the time I spent in convalescence under the goddess' care, I lingered nigh on three years in Illyrica and her sister provinces while my golden tresses slowly grew back. Merphomenee's vessels gently cared for my body and hair no matter how far away I traveled from civilization. As I had before, I saw many, many wondrous marvels in Illyrica, so much so that I could exhaust all my parchment to record what my eyes beheld. Yet few of them held any splendor for me. Once I came to a great city which had been the site of one of Merphomenee's devastating rampages, and although five years had since passed I still saw the shadow of the goddess lying heavily on the metropolis in the shape of ruined edifices and fearful expressions on the faces of the citizens. I even met Leannia Aenilia again when my sojourns brought me through Tartulia, though as always it was Merphomenee's mind which peered out through her eyes at mine. Common gossip held that from a meek slave offered to the goddess, Leannia had become a woman as arrogant and needlessly cruel as Merphomenee, secure in her role as the puppet of the divine.

But despite her omnipresent marionettes lingering like an oppressive shadow over every movement of mine, I saw nothing of Merphomenee herself during those weary years.

Two more annual tributes with their senseless city rampages occurred during my long captivity in Illyrica, events I felt relieved not to witness. I only heard when rumor and news reached my ears weeks later as chilling stories retold and repeated by dismayed citizens. My probing questions as to why the populace played along with Merphomenee's charade were met by blank stares and baffled expressions: she was a goddess and obviously above question or reproach! They tried to appease her with monuments and sacrifices; I watched their futile gestures with resigned sadness, seeing how she loomed large in their lives and knowing how pointless their efforts were. What good could human effort do in the face of such overweening power as hers?

At last the day came when Merphomenee's current vessel informed me that she was ready to open the way to Louelle. She brought me back to the small white sanctuary by the seashore where I had first arrived to rest and recover. There I found that Junia, Claudia, and Maecia had all married and departed, but Camilla still remained tending the temple with a few new faces. I slept in my former bed for my last night in Illyrica after fond conversation with Camilla about my visit years ago. That night Merphomenee must have come and visited in person, for I found a bath of her warm breast milk awaiting me in the morning, but even then she still refused to show herself to me. Oh Merphomenee, my goddess, my langoth, what mortal could fill my heart as you? Camilla bathed me and the goddess' vessel brushed my sunlit hair, now quite full again. They dressed me afterwards in a fine silken stola with purple hems. When I tried to return the Goddess' Grace to the vessel, she told me to keep it as a memento of my time in this world.

Dear reader of mine, it is true that much though my heart longed for my pristine Theraveria, I departed Illyrica with considerable reluctance. Je savais que je ne reverrais jamais sa beauté. The people simply had the misfortune of being ruled by a selfish, destructive goddess. Camilla alone came to say farewell and to watch me depart; when I stood in the circle of conjury prepared by the goddess' slaves, I felt Merphomenee's magic swaddle me. Momentarily the same warm embrace that I had experienced during the chaotic night of her attempted entry surrounded me again, causing a pang of regret in my heart for what might have been. Then I receded away, away, further away as Illyrica fell behind me at great speed.

I do not know how much time passed as Merphomenee carried me between Illyrica and Theraveria, only that I seemed to move with incomprehensible velocity. Her great feat of magical artificing with the Goddess' Gate had been meant to join two worlds to a single location; this was entirely different magic, propelling me on a journey between worlds. I saw a verdant orb of shining turquoise shimmering before me as it grew with alarming rapidity. Then I plunged through the clouds like a falling star, the ground rising up to meet me so swiftly that I screamed in fright. For a heartstopping moment I feared I would be crushed into the earth, but Merphomenee's embrace slowed abruptly as I soared over Louelle. She guided me to the ruins of the Goddess' Gate, no doubt having used the latent power buried within as a beacon, and dropped me on the lip of the bowl. For a moment I sensed her hesitation; I too did not wish to leave her, but I felt too proud to say as much. Et puis elle a disparu.

The darkness of the Theraverian night folded around me without the goddess' comforting presence. I inhaled deeply, savoring the first breath of homely air I had drawn in the last three years. Even the worn cobblestone roads under my feet felt welcoming. The lights of Louelle glimmered and beckoned me in. Since I could not examine the ruins of the gate in the darkness, I turned and walked alone into the city with no entourage in my train. What had changed in my absence? The footmen with their lamplit coaches still conveyed personages of import to their nightly revelries, paying little heed to the few pedestrians awake after dark. I drank in the sights of my dear, beloved Louelle as I traveled unhurriedly through her streets, remembering anew the shapes of the buildings and the silhouettes of the edifices. I found that I could still discern which residences were hosting night parties by the lights and the carriages clustered outside. Though the Theraverians find it scandalous for a lone woman to travel unchaperoned, especially if she is unmarried, I no longer cared. I walked straight up to the palace gates and summoned the watch officer on duty. He politely offered to send an escort to convey me back to my residence in the city, then gaped dumbstruck when he recognized me. I was at once ushered inside as the footmen raced to inform my mother. At last the princess had returned home.

Roused from bed, Queen Heloise appeared in the palace lobby still wearing her negligee and threw herself around me, sobbing openly and embracing me so tightly I thought she would never let go. Lanterns appeared and servants and guardsmen crowded to see, murmurs of astonishment rippling through the gathering horde of surprised men and women. Mother's tears ran freely down her cheeks to seep into my shoulder robes, and I too wept when I saw her. My maidservants and my nurses, and the old palace seneschals ... so few dry eyes, and such weeping as I had not heard since the benighted day Merphomenee trod on Phinos. How I had missed my family! "Praise be, you live! You live!" mother murmured breathlessly in wonder, taking my face in her hands and drinking in every detail of me from my strange foreign garb to my divinely-touched face. The palace interior still remained as I had remembered it, save for a somber lack of flowers and the absence of a few familiar individuals. There were also several new names I did not recognize. "Oh Summerlyn my child, you have returned from death to us! Oh, you must be ever so hungry! Why do you all stand there gaping like lackwits? My daughter is alive, quickly bring her the best food and her clothes to wear lest we lose her again! Dispose of all of my black apparel! You live!" she repeated, dazed. Poor mother, she had so many more gray hairs than I remembered.

"Oh mother, I missed you so much, and father and Charlemont too!" I wept unabashedly. "Where is father? Where is my brother? How long has it been?"

"His Majesty and your brother are in the field with the army," mother informed me gravely. "We are at war, Summer dear. Oh, of course there is so much I must tell you!"

"Exactly one thousand twenty-nine days since that horrible tragedy stole you from Louelle," a new voice informed me and I glanced behind myself to see dark-haired Renia Sundalicia gazing teary-eyed at me. Impulsively I embraced her too, as one victim of Merphomenee to another, and I saw with amazement that she still wore the lock of my golden hair braided into one of her own sable tresses above her forehead. The young ladies looked at me in awe, the older matrons took my hand and kissed my cheek. Some thoughtful souls brought honey-glazed ham from the kitchen for me and I laid down on my side before abruptly remembering Theraverian manners. I ate strongly with the utensils brought to me, not having realized how famished I felt until I smelled the mouth-watering aroma. Renia laughed as she watched, a genuinely happy chuckle as she said, "So that is where Your Highness has been!"

Once I had satisfied my hunger and the excitement calmed somewhat, I wanted to hear what had transpired in my absence. My time spent in Illyrica is of course far too long a story to more than summarize for my mother; likewise, I was told the broad details of events in Theraveria. For a week the conjurers had braved the aetherially-charged waters of the gate in a vain attempt to rescue me, discover where I had gone, or even find my body. During this time the king convened his council and repudiated the former peace treaty, declaring war upon Brabant as retaliation for my attempted kidnapping, an event I had nearly forgotten already. I had been given a grand funeral of state, a fact which made me smile. Left stranded in Theraveria, but with considerable wealth to her name from her ambassadorial account, Renia had quickly received dozens of courtship suits and married an eligible young noble, making her the Marquise de Vautonlieu. She had already borne a daughter to her husband, a fact which surprised me greatly for she seemed unchanged from three years past save that she had adopted Theraverian fashions fully. Renia had also briefed the king and his ministers on Merphomenee's intentions for Louelle. I told the story of how the goddess had destroyed the city of Phinos at which mother and the ladies of the court made a great show of distressed sighing. I explained also how we had argued and grown distant, and how she sent me back to Louelle. "I do not think we will hear any more of her," I concluded.

Renia nodded. "She has not attempted to inhabit me even once since that fateful day." When she saw the Goddess' Grace hanging from my neck, she asked me to give it to her. I took off my necklace and surrendered it without a second thought.

Mother embraced me again. "Oh Summerlyn, you've suffered so much! It is almost more than your old mother's poor heart can bear."

I leaned my head into her shoulder. "I am home and unchanged now, save that I shall never touch magic again. I would like to see papa and my brother when I am able. Perhaps I may go visit them in the camp?"

Queen Heloise shook her head firmly. "Nonsense, my dear. You must rest and recover after your harrowing ordeal and settle back into home first! We kept your room preserved just as it was. Oh, I hope your raiments still fit you without seamstresses having to adjust them! Oh oh, His Majesty will be so overjoyed to hear of your return, you simply must write him a letter immediately."

I did pen the letter, a lengthy screed explaining my absence and expressing my fond hopes to see him soon, as well as another letter to my brother. Chirugeons of the royal household examined me the next morning and pronounced me in perfect health. Returning to the highly regimented life of a princess stifled me in some ways after the carefree, aimless years of Illyrica, but I enjoyed the company of Theraverian haute société for which I had been bred and trained. Far less enjoyable were the wearisome suits from would-be suitors; I insisted to mother that I would not marry a man unless he were within ten years of my age, of comparable social status, every bit as well-read and educated, polished and sophisticated, and ambitious as well. This had the unpleasant effect of causing my mother to fret incessantly at my growing old without marrying as well as the far more desirable effect of winnowing the field of my paramours. For conversation I often turned to Renia, the only other individual who had walked where I sojourned. We talked much of Illyrica and she once confessed to me that she still missed her home very much. I discovered that she hailed from Caesaria; she was a former princess of that province, taken by Merphomenee as a future vessel at the early age of twelve when the goddess had repaid a paltry tribute by showing the soles of her buskins to the city of Latius.

Renia introduced me to the Salon de Rue d'Hiver, that extremely exclusive club of the leading thinkers of the day. Even a princess could not enter its intellectual sphere without a sponsor; I admit I felt a great deal of trepidation when I arrived in a royal coach for my first evening meeting with these fine and accomplished luminaries. The Comtesse de Rouillart herself chaired the discussions, a woman in her mid-forties renowned for her brilliant writings and original thought. Their warmth and geniality soon set me at ease and I spent a most agreeable night deep in conversation with these excellent intellectuals. I did not depart until past midnight, with the Marquise de Vautonlieu assuring me I had made a favorable impression upon all present. For a salon to count a princess of the crown among its inner members brought immense prestige to the coterie of the Comtesse de Rouillart, but I felt it my honor to speak so freely with the foremost minds of the age.

Lieutenant-Colonel Merrimont and the surviving members of the Princess' Own Guard Knights arrived from the Theraverian army camp not long after. He bore answering letters from the king for mother and I as well as royal assent to remain in Louelle on duty as my personal protector, in reality more of an extended leave for him and his men. "Princess Katalina," he greeted me, kneeling to press his lips to the back of my hand. Renia was present to chaperone me. "Your beauty is even more radiant than the memory of three bygone years recalls." I immediately blushed - he was still as beautiful as ever - and began to pester him with questions. By his account the war did not speed well. "Having fought as part of an alliance with several Allemagnian principalities, I now esteem King Laudamais rather less," he told me. "If my own experience is any to rely upon, much of his success must be due to the fact that he consistently faced coalitions of his enemies in battle. If Your Serene Highness and Her Grace will permit me to speak in confidence -"

"Granted, sir," I agreed.

"- there are four sovereigns commanding the strategy of our alliance. Of them, one I should very much wish to observe him peep through a keyhole, for I am certain he could do it with both eyes at the same time. For another of their lot, I envy any man or woman who has not experienced the displeasure of making his acquaintance. Place these four men together and naturally hear five opinions for every problem which arises. Allemagnians are certainly brave enough and together we outnumber the Brabantines, but to what end?" He sighed and shook his head sheepishly. "Pray forgive me, Your Highness. I was not dispatched to burden you with my complaints but rather to provide an escort to a princess."

I frowned at the news. Most Theraverian women knew little of military affairs, but I had gathered that the crown was still bankrupted by the costs associated with the Goddess' Gate. I knew from speaking with the Minister of the Army that the city forges only produced two culverins a month for military use, an appallingly low number in an age where gunpowder decided battles. The engagements which had occurred had been inconclusive and the armies camped opposite each other in defensive earthworks for some time, always a dangerous situation since disease reliably killed more men than combat. The people were asked to forgo luxuries for the soldiers in the army. I decided I could live without my jewels and my elegant dresses, so I asked the servants to sell most of them for me. I considered selling clippings of my tresses, only for mother to bewail my marriage prospects so ardently that I desisted for her sake. I did stop taking my expensive hair treatments. My hair never lost its lustrous golden sheen, no doubt due to the potency of Merphomenee's divine milk.

With such excellent company, I recovered much of my gaiety from the innocent days before Merphomenee sent Renia to Louelle. Mother tried to arrange more suitable matches for me, but I rebelled against the idea of being used as a political pawn in dynastic games. I pointed out to her that Laudamais' marriage to Isadore-Constance made him the son-in-law of Roussilion's King Jezenik without doing favors for either; within three years Brabant and Roussilion once more clashed, a war that ended only when Roussilion teetered on the brink of annihilation. In truth I did not wish to leave my beloved Louelle for a foreign court where I would be friendless and far from home. I had been fostered for a year at the court in Anglica, an exciting time to be certain but one where I felt acutely conscious of my foreign identity. Being at the age of twenty-two, mother warned me I was in danger of becoming an old spinster with little chance to influence men. But none of my suitors appealed to me for one reason or another, nor did seeing Renia dote upon her adorable infant daughter suffice to overcome my scruples.

With so many young men away at the front with the army and ostentatious displays of luxury frowned upon, the once lively evening balls and magnificent theatrical productions of the city suffered greatly. I often walked with my ladies-in-waiting out in the gardens of the royal palace, entertaining them with tales of my time in Illyrica and usually escorted by my ceremonial guards. To a woman they gasped and fanned themselves and exclaimed how very brave I must be to endure such horrific trials; this embarrassed me for I often recall feeling quite frightened during dangerous moments of my sojourn, and I made no secret of this. Sir Merrimont often listened as well, but unlike my maids he did not hesitate to suggest that I might have acted differently if I asked for his candid opinion. We asked him once if there was a woman he fancied, such gossip being as precious as a thirsting man's water to idle women of aristocratic mien, but he replied with perfect propriety that he would not court a woman while the country stood at war.

Quiet news came from the camp where both armies remained entrenched behind earthworks. I saw that Merrimont wished to be back with the Theraverian cavalry, but when I offered to write to the king he said that he would do his duty without complaint, desirable or not. One night, returning from a social call to the Marquise de Vautonlieu near sunset, I asked him to detour my coach to the Goddess' Gate that I might survey it closely. He expressed some surprise that I had not visited it since my return to Louelle, but he obligingly turned his horse and escorted me there.

The site of the well had been left unguarded as only charred rubble of no value remained. The gate had imploded upon itself when Merphomenee's protective magic interfered with her connective magic; fortunately the reinforced stone walls of the chasm had absorbed most of the shock. I saw that the alchemists of the city had stripped away the valuable orichalcum stabilizers from the excavated parts of the bowl and even the silver ink of the tiles had been scraped off. Only cracked marble and stone remained, some of the former having been removed as well. A faint aura of residual magic remained but the well had dried long ago, its waters drained through the shattered foundation. The depths of the well had been filled in with rubbish and a mound of broken rock raised over it. Walking around the crater slowly with only Sir Merrimont present holding a lantern for me, I retraced the steps of that day when everything had changed. "... Here. I believe we dismounted here. I ran up to papa and tried to change his mind," I told Merrimont.

"His Majesty is most blessed to have a daughter with such a perspicacious mind," Merrimont replied.

I flushed at the compliment. "I remember being seized by the spirit of adventure, monsieur, but in truth I was very afraid. When I felt the awesome power of Merphomenee for the first time ... oh Merry, I feared the worst! I never did thank you properly for hazarding so much harm to try and save me."

"I too felt very afraid," Merrimont reflected quietly. He touched a broken block of stone with the toe of his boot.

"You?" I asked, amazed. "I thought you feared nothing! My ladies-in-waiting said that you did not even blink when a bullet grazed your neck during the duel!"

Merrimont pursed his lips as though embarrassed to recall the incident, pressing his free palm to the side of his neck. "Your Highness, I knew that Captain Habernitz would not shoot me although I had given offense. He can fire at a ladybug at fifty paces and not miss. I was never in any danger, but it grieves me to hear that I may have given you cause for concern."

I immediately understood, or thought I did. "... Ah, then that means your second and his must have arranged beforehand ...?" I seated myself on a stone and smoothed down the folds of my dress, fanning myself languidly.

"Not quite." Merrimont looked pained. "Pardon me, Your Highness. I have never confessed my role in this matter to anyone as I now do to you. Adolphus and I understood that Brabantine belligerency threatened both we and Adelweiss, but neither of us wished to fight. Allemagnians are brave, often to a fault, but they are not fools. If Brabant mustered against Theraveria alone, why should the Allemagnians stir to help when it is not in their own immediate interest?" I nodded; this made sense. "Being, if you will pardon the immodesty, rather more far-seeing than other men in this matter, Adolphus and I proposed to shame the Adelweiss delegation into aiding Theraveria if measured reason would not suffice. Therefore we drank spirits together until I could reasonably plead inebriation for my unpardonably impolite conduct. We escalated a quarrel that we had pre-ordained so as to cloak our true intentions and took great risk in doing so. Your Highness knows the rest of the story." He paused for a long, poignant moment. "I fully expected to be gaoled by His Majesty after our duel. If he wishes to do so now, I shall not utter a word of complaint. To think that people still believe Adolphus and I acquitted ourselves honorably on the field ..."

My eyes grew wider and wider during his recital. Brave, chivalrous Merrimont - to think he was capable of such a stratagem! I stared at him in quite an unladylike manner from disbelief, amazed that he would have conceived so subtle an idea and impressed by his depth of understanding. "I ... well, I do not know what to say, monsieur! Perhaps you are more fit to advise the king than any of his ministers!" I debated whether or not I should reveal a secret of my own to him. My warm feelings of affection for him swiftly decided in favor - after all, had he not just taken me into his confidence? "Ah, but you are not the only person with secrets. Very soon after she arrived in Louelle, the Marquise de Vautonlieu began to clandestinely teach me magic."

Merrimont nodded. "You did tell me. Your Highness displayed remarkable adeptness at the ford and right here at the gate. The marquise would have informed your royal parents of it after the incident here." He indicated the ruined gate surrounding us.

I pressed on. "But you did not know that Renia Sundalicia was no mere ambassador, but the goddess Merphomenee herself enshrined in a human marionette, non? She told me that I alone knew this secret and bid me keep it in confidence. It was Merphomenee who schooled me in matters of mind and magic. She even drew forth my spirit to inhabit her, very briefly. Oh, it was quite the experience."

"She could do that?" Merrimont asked, arching an eyebrow in surprise. "The Marquise de Vautonlieu informed us that the goddess' power is greatly diminished here, so far is Europa from her own world."

I frowned and tried to remember that night more than three years ago when she had first taught magic to me. Distinctly I remembered the sense of power and stature which I had felt, but my mind recalled no details about how Renia had reacted. "Weakness must be understood in relative terms ... Perhaps that is why she has not tried to inhabit the marquise again? It does comfort me to know that we lie beyond her reach, if we indeed are. How could we have been so blind to her intentions?"

"Your Highness must not blame herself," Merrimont told me, "she deceived all of us. She promised us health and prosperity and peace, but at what cost? That we should offer our cities to be destroyed on her whim?"

I nodded. The Salon de Rue d'Hiver had debated this question extensively for my sake, asking whether it was an equitable trade. On first reaction the opinion had been universally negative, but the Comtesse de Rouillart bid us divorce our emotions from the question and examine it again under a dispassionate eye. "What do you think, Merry? Is the cost truly unbearable? For all my life we have been at war with Brabant and I have accepted that a princess must place the needs of the kingdom above her own desires. If we could sacrifice me, or even a city to have all the gifts that Merphomenee lavished on her people ..."

"Your Highness does not really believe that," Merrimont replied firmly.

"Why not? What is one life, or even thousands, when weighed against the nation?" I asked, challenging him to explain.

"It is everything, Your Highness," he replied without hesitation. Even in the dark of the night, he looked so handsome and earnest. Merrimont pointed in the direction of the battlefront. "If a man loses his leg to a musket ball, his companions will brave the face of the enemy to save him, even if it cost them twenty of their number to rescue one. They do this because a man is not a mere statistic, an abstraction to be counted as one counts coin in the hand. Your goddess sees us only as victims for her amusement, firewood to be consumed in the flames of a passionate moment, treating humans as slaves and pets and cattle. In their place she could have meaningful, profound relationships - I believe she did come to feel this way towards Your Highness. Within every man lies an entire world, of dreams and hopes and fears, if he will but share it with his fellows and his fellows will but accept it. More than mere flesh and blood, we are ambitions and dreams and desires contained in a life far too short to fully embrace all that we long to become. Weak and fragile as we might be in comparison to the goddess, must we sacrifice ourselves to her merely for a more comfortable existence? In your heart you know this, even if your head is willing to entertain thoughts to the contrary. Your Highness ... Summerlyn ... no man is expendable. 'Seul l’Esprit, s’il souffle sur la glaise, peut créer l’Homme,'" he concluded, quoting a well-known Brabantine novelist.

My admiration of him grew as I listened to him expound his views. What a tragic misfortune that he could not have been born a prince of royal blood! How could I not lose my heart to a man of such deep thoughts, such gentle mien, such courageous and noble soul? Affection I have always held for him, ever since our mutual childhood. Now I realized that all my blushing around him, all my desire to have him for company, my ostentatious respect for his opinion were merely excuses for the deeper feelings I had developed. Shyly I reached my hand and placed it in his, feeling my skin burning where I touched him.

He looked at me intently, then raised my hand to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. My face immediately flushed; I thought I would faint. "Your Highness is very kind to me, but I dare not," he said, as gently as he could. I did not want to hear those words, but he continued, "You know that this is impossible. Pray do not compromise my honor further."

My voice choked. "Oh, oh, but Merry! My suitors are detestable to me! Where shall I find a man like you, who understands me so well, who is so chivalrous as you, if not you?" Tears threatened to overwhelm me.

"Your Highness. Listen to me. Listen well. This time you must let your head rule your heart," he told me with great tenderness. "I am content to be your servant, and would be honored to be your friend, but more than that I cannot be. You said that you would not change for your goddess - do not, therefore, change for a mere man. Theraveria will not permit it."

How could he be so cruel to my heart? Feeling crushed by misery, I wept so bitterly that I missed the presence of the shadow approaching us. Merrimont glanced up sharply and immediately pulled his hand away from mine, touching the hilt of his saber as the footsteps drew nigh. I heard a woman's tongue declare, "Theraveria may not, but the goddess will overrule her." The voice, not the words, startled me out of my reverie and I blinked away tears as the girl stepped into the circle of light cast by the oil lantern to reveal her features to us.

Never would I have imagined to see her face again. "... Platina Titiana?"