He caught glimpses of them entering the living room.  He heard the TV on in the background.  After a few more steps, he felt Elle slowing.  “What’s that?” he heard an attractive female voice say, slightly muffled through Elle’s hands.

He recognized the voice instantly.  Ohhh … Stacy.  I remember her.  She’s Elle’s age, but she’s freaking hot.  And I don’t know, but I think she might have a thing for me …

He frowned.  Or used to.  Crap … she’s never seen me this size!!

“Oh, this?” Elle asked.  Suddenly her hands hurled side to side – she did it on purpose!!  His body thumped into her right palm then her left, really hard!

“Oww!!  God damn it!!” he shouted, more in frustration than pain.

“Just a lil’ somethin’ to help us out,” Elle went on.  Then her hands plunged downward, like the Doom Drop ride at his favorite theme park.  Only, he hated that ride.

He went into a free fall, then lurched to a halt without warning, gravity pressing him hard into her hand. He rolled and tumbled forward as blinding midday light surrounded him.  He hit a hard surface and rolled some more, ending up on his stomach with his face staring down at some cold, black surface like glass.

“Holy shit, is that … your brother??” he heard Elle’s hot friend say, her voice far boomier than he remembered.

“Yup,” Elle replied, like a thunderclap above his head.

He slowly picked his head up, seeing himself lying amidst a forest of odd glass … sculptures.  Some were shorter than him, and some were taller; and all were weirdly shaped.  But … familiar.

It struck him: A chessboard.  I’m on a chessboard.  It’s the one in the living room, the one I used to use all the time.  Holy hell, I didn’t recognize it.

His heart pounded as he stood up.  There were massive black stone statues farther down – the black pieces.  And looming above them was gorgeous, stunning Stacy.

To him she appeared, oh, roughly a cool 130 feet taller than he remembered her being.  No big deal…

Her dreamy brown eyes regarded him for a moment then rose several stories above him.  He turned around to witness the towering form of his sister hovering not far behind him.

“OK if we use him?” Elle asked.

Stacy gave a snort.  “You serious?  Umm … sure, I guess.”  She cracked a smile.  “Could be fun.”

Ted swiveled his head between them.  “Use me for what??”  He waved his arms in huge circles to get their attention.  “Hey!  Use me for what!?!?”  For advice? he wondered.  I am a lot better at chess than Elle.

“Ugh,” beautiful Stacy scoffed loudly, drowning out his thoughts.  “Is he gonna move like that while we play, though?  That’s gonna be distracting.”

A warm, humid gale of wind blasted down from above him, almost knocking him over.  “The fuck!?!” he shouted, whirling around.  His sister’s face was hovering alarmingly close, almost two stories tall on its own.  She just blew on me! he realized furiously.

“STAND STILL UNLESS I SAY,” she said, in her normal voice which was now utterly deafening.  He cringed and clenched his teeth and forced himself not to cover his ears.  “GOT IT, LIL’ BROTHER?”

His ears were ringing but he shook it off and yelled, “Why the hell should I stand still?!?  I can give advice from anywhere, you know!!”

She laughed, and this time he covered his ears – her voice was excruciating.  “HEY, I COULD ALMOST HEAR YOU THAT TIME!” she teased.  Then, mercifully, her face lifted away.

“What’d he say?” Stacy asked.

Elle shrugged her massive shoulders.  “Dunno.  Who cares.  You ready?”

“Yep,” her friend replied.

Without further ado, Elle’s hand whooshed by on his left, heading for the king’s pawn.  It startled him so much that he stumbled and fell forward, his face smacking into the solid glass pawn ahead of him.  It didn't give even slightly when he hit it - he'd have to be probably four times his size, or more, just to budge this solid ingot of glass even a bit. He slumped against its sloped side while massaging his head.

Elle finished her move then exclaimed loudly, “HEY!  I told you to stand still!!”

"Did you not see me fall!?" he yelled, slowly rising to his feet. "It’s ‘cuz your stupid hand almost hit me, idiot!!"  He dusted himself off and looked at the sculpture garden around him again.

He decided he’d had enough.  "I don't want to spectate your stupid game!!" he shouted up at Elle, stepping off the board. “And I’m not gonna help!  Figure out your own damned moves!"

"What's he saying now?" Stacy asked, looking down at him quizzically. 

"No idea," Elle replied.  "Just ignore him."

"Screw you!" Ted yelled.  "Don't friggin’ ignore me!!"

"Ugh."  Elle scowled as she leaned her head much closer. "WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING ABOUT THIS??”

Her hand suddenly popped up from beneath the table and hovered in front of him.  With a quick flick, her index finger barreled toward him but pulled back just an arm’s length in front of him.  He jumped back – that could have done serious damage to him, if she’d flicked just a little farther forward!

“What the—Hey!!”  She flicked again, even closer this time!  He could feel the air moving around her finger!  He leapt back another couple steps – and she did it again!!  He felt like he had barely jumped back fast enough that time.

He was back where he started now, standing on that black square.  “God damn it!!  What the hell!!!” he bellowed, gesticulating furiously.  “How dare you d—“

“ALRIGHT, NOW STAY THERE!” she boomed.  “GEEZ!  IS THAT SO HARD FOR YOU TO COMPREHEND??”  She sat straight again; her voice was softer now, but only a little.  “Man, I’m gonna be pissed if I look down and find my knight has run off again.”

Stacy snorted.  “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Ted’s mouth hung open.  “Your … your knight??”  He looked around, then gasped.  I’m standing on the knight’s square.  A swift shriek escaped his lips.  I AM the knight!

The reality of his situation sank in.  "Jesus tapdancing Christ!" he blurted, gesticulating wildly.  "You can't be freaking serious!!  This isn’t funny, Elle!!!”

"Great,” Stacy complained, rolling her eyes.  “He’s being all distracting again.”

He turned his wrath toward his crush – former crush, as of this minute!   "Yeah – I'm fucking upset as hell!!” he bellowed.  “Look how goddamned upset I am!!  Dammit, I'm a grown man, not a chess piece!!"

“Teddy …” his sister threatened, behind him.

But Stacy chimed in at just the right time and said, with a sigh, “Maybe we oughta find somethin’ else to use.  I dunno, a paperweight or somethin’.”

His mood suddenly changed.  “Hell yes!”  He was officially back on Team Stacy, and—

“Pfft,” scoffed his sister.  “I’m not lettin’ him off easy just ‘cuz he’s being a dweeb.  Besides … look at him.  He’s, like, the perfect size.”

Stacy snickered.  “He really is, though!”  She straightened in her seat.  “Alright, my move.”  She furrowed her brow then calmly moved her own king’s pawn and sat back in her chair.

He felt a growing knot in his stomach, as his sister took her next move, and Stacy after that..  "That's it?" he asked aloud. His voice became strained, almost pleading. This is really happening.  "Stop messing around!” he yelled forlornly, unsurprised when neither girl paid him any mind.  His voice dropped and became almost pleading.  “Can't we talk about this??  Oh, hell …”

His sister's huge hand plucked the two-ton glass pawn a couple columns away and lifted it without effort to land with an impressive thud two spaces ahead. 

He turned his anger toward gorgeous Stacy.  “Hey!  You used to be into me!” he said, almost accusatorily.  “I used to catch you staring at me!”  He groaned.  “Back when I wasn’t the size of a chess piece…”  Her attraction was clearly a thing of the past now.

Still … what a view.  “Hot damn…” he admired aloud, eyes widening as Stacy reached forward to move another pawn.

A deep valley of cleavage opened up to his greedy eyes.  He knew exactly where he wanted to be just then …

Stacy's pawn thumped to a new spot on the board.  Once again, Elle’s hand appeared again out of nowhere and grabbed the bishop's pawn kitty-corner to him. He shuddered as even the lightest setting of the pawn on the board created a definitive thud like a large slab of marble being set down. "This is dangerous," he muttered aloud, shaking his head. "I shouldn't be here!" he called up to his sister, over his shoulder. "Not that you care!!"

He watched the game unfold in tense silence.  A few moves later, Elle's enormous queen slid across the board, into an overly aggressive position.  "Bad move,” he commented.  “You shouldn’t have moved there!”  But of course she’s not listening to me – I’m just another piece on her board!

He fidgeted uncomfortably as more and more pieces moved around him. "You know," he reasoned aloud, "there are games where the knight hardly moves."  He sighed and kept a wary eye on Elle at first.  But, increasingly, his eyes gravitated toward her opponent opponent and that whole goddamned valley of cleavage. "I could roam around on those for days..." he mused wistfully.  He'd obviously felt girls’ breasts before, but never at mini-size.  They say it’s a life-changing experience…

"God," he muttered, watching those breasts sway as she periodically leaned then pulled back after each move.  He even caught her adjusting her top at one point - THAT was glorious.

What would he even say to her now, if they were ever alone?  Was there anything he could say to get her interested in him?  It wasn’t at all encouraging that the few times she glanced his way, her gaze was bland and detached, as if he truly were just another piece on the board.  She was so focused on the game now that he wondered if even flailing his arms would gain her attention at this point.  It might not.

He watched Stacy move her bishop out of the back line, setting up an attack.  It was hard to see the board from his perspective, but he had a decent sense of the game so far.  “Elle’s gonna want to retreat her bishop and stay defensive,” he declared.  One thing about being small, he could think out loud whenever he wanted.  “Yeah.  That’ll put Stacy in an awkward position, and then Elle can develop her left side of the board.  Mmhmm.  And—“

By the time he saw the shadow come over him, it was too late.  Elle’s huge pointer finger whooshed down out of nowhere and compressed down on his chest, in tandem with her unseen thumb on his back.

 He let out a startled shriek as his body lurched two stories into the air with terrifying speed.

She lowered him just as fast – but she carelessly released him with his legs still several feet above the board.

He landed with a thud and stumbled forward, slamming right into the bishop in front of him.  Needless to say, the bishop got the better of that collision.

He rolled off the solid glass sculpture and put a hand to his temple, shaking off the dreadful ordeal he’d just suffered through.  He would like to think that he'd just faced the worst of it ... but he was a knight now, after all.  And what knight's journey had ever been easy?  

"Ughh ..." he groaned, "why can't I just do real knight stuff like ... fight a dragon.  And bed the princess afterwards!!"  He shied away as Stacy's hand moved a piece just a square away.  He stomped his feet.  "This SUCKS!!  Let me fight the Killer freaking Rabbit of bloody Caerbannog!!!  Even that would be better than putting up with this crap!!"

He sighed.  "I'm gonna need my mom to save me, aren't I?  Yup ... pretty freaking screwed until then.  What a knight, indeed."