PART 3

IN FILBURT'S BEDROOM, WITH FILBURT AND HUTCHISON LAYING BLISSFULLY TOGETHER ON THE FORMER'S QUEEN-SIZED BED WITH STAR-OF-DAVID-SHAPED PILLOWS, AS HUTCHISON'S TAPE PLAYER PROMPTLY SWITCHED ITSELF OVER TO "CUCKOO IN THE WOODS"...

"Filburt, dear, may I please ask you something?" Hutchison reluctantly asked Filburt as the two of them nakedly crossed their arms behind their heads (yes, in case you were wondering, Filburt had just then taken off his shell) and laid face-up side-by-side underneath Filburt's very unsubtly Jewish-star-patterned bedsheets, which now undeniably smelt just like her.

"Sure, why not? Every day you discover something brand new, as they always say; by the way, did I happen to mention that I'm in LOVE with your body, to the point where I even have every single shape of every individual part of it photographically memorized?" Filburt teasingly (and rather profoundly stalkerishly) asked Hutchison, prompting Hutchison to VERY justifiedly bitch-slap his sorry stupid ass right across the face, n-(African American).

"Anyway, as what you just said to me has already IMMENSELY reminded me, do you ever feel as if maybe, perhaps, just MAYBE, our dear and beloved God stays up there in Heaven," Hutchison asked, pointing straight up into the sky, "because he, too, lives in fear of what he has created?"

"Mostly just whenever I read brain-fetish fanfictions." Filburt replied flatly, violently shaking his head in a desperate attempt to repress his woefully traumatic memories OF said fanfictions.

"Wait a minute...brain-fetish fanfictions...is...IS THAT WHAT I'M BEING MADE THE VICTIM OF RIGHT NOW?! OH, DEAR GOD, IT REALLY IS, ISN'T IT?!" Hutchison gasped and covered her mouth in shock, the pupils of her alarmingly wide-open eyes suddenly becoming nearly microscopic dots even despite how dimly lit the bedroom was as she suddenly began to quite possibly realize what was REALLY going on here (inside her head, to be exact).

"You BET it is, mister!" Heffer laughed uproariously as he and Rocko clambered their way up the outer frontal lobe of Hutchison's suddenly powerfully electrified brain, once again thanking the lord for their shock-proof rubber suits as they finally reached the very tip-top of her now-completely-defenseless cerebral cortex.

"Oh, come on, you're just IMAGINING things; it's all in your HEAD!" Filburt chuckled smugly, slapping Hutchison forcefully on the back in truly classic "father pulling son's leg" fashion as Hutchison audibly gulped and trembled on the bed, with her arms widely outstretched beside her and her pupils STILL constricted into nearly invisible dots as Rocko and Heffer finally found the secret entrance hatch atop her brain and jumped right in without even a single care in the world for what they could potentially do to the poor nurse's mental health (well, at least as far as Heffer was concerned; Rocko, on the other hand, was naturally just about as shitlessly scared as you can probably imagine, and also just about as much so as his poor head-intrusion VICTIM was, for that matter...)

(One obnoxiously long "WHEEEEEE" from Heffer as he and Rocko gleefully and somewhat terrifiedly slid their way through the shockingly exhilarating secret-entrance tube slide that just so happened to be built right into Hutchison's brain later...)

"My GOD, Heffer, would you BELIEVE it?! THIS IS IT! THIS IS REALLY IT! DOCTOR PAULINE THEODORE MAURICE HUTCHISON-SHELLBACH EASTWOOD THE FIRST FELINE LADY'S BEHAVIORAL CONTROL CENTER!" Rocko screamed in both absolute terror and thoroughly fascinated amazement at the same time, twirling around on his heels, placing the back of his hand across his forehead and nearly passing out from sheer over-excitement (not to mention sexual arousal from how scrumptiously spongy and wrinkly her brain most certainly was indeed).

"Couldn't you just call it...oh, you know, Hutch's BRAIN?" Heffer asked him.

"Meh, it wouldn't entertain the viewers even NEARLY as much." Rocko admittedly somewhat embarrassedly shrugged his shoulders and replied as he and Heffer stared in awe at the astonishingly beautiful network of neurons and synapses contained within Hutchison's breathtakingly glorious central nervous system.

"Come on, let's take care of...AHEM...business, shall we?" Rocko sighed, grabbing Heffer by the arm and dejectedly dragging the poor fat bastard along behind him as the two of them alarmingly quickly approached the massive central control (super)computer that also just so happened to be built right into Hutchison's brain (lodged into her frontal lobe, to be exact), only to find, much to their dismay when they attempted to turn the damned thing on, that there was a great big VIRUS ALERT message flashing on the screen!

"Ooh, does this mean we get to play Dr. Mario?" Heffer asked Rocko excitedly.

"NO, YOU DAMNED FOOL, IT MEANS THAT THERE'S YET ANOTHER GOD-DAMNED PARASITE LIVING IN HERE, FOR FUCK'S EVER-LOVING SAKE!" Rocko once again leapt sideways onto Heffer's chest, shook him violently by the shoulders and yelled at him in frustration...only to immediately stop dead in his tracks, with him and Heffer both diluting their pupils into ludicrously tiny little dots as the inside of Hutchison's brain began to short-circuit and vibrate intensely due to that very same parasite's presence within it while the music that was being transmitted directly into Hutchison's brain through her earbuds suddenly switched straight from Cuckoo In The Woods to the Moonlight Sonata Third Movement.

"I like to eat my unborn chicken voices with disembodied frog scrotum while sucking on purple lemons, KAY?!" Hutchison involuntarily crossed her eyes in mismatched directions, wildly swung her razor-sharp hook hand all over the place and nonsensically rambled to Filburt, who was already horrifiedly trembling underneath his blanket (admit it, you would be too), then tilted her head and ear-piercingly shrieked the last word of her sentence RIGHT at the EXACT moment at which the aforementioned parasite bursted out from the inner floor of her brain!

"GYAAAHHH!" Rocko and Heffer alike both screamed in such utterly pants-shitting horror that their OWN brains (along with their eyeballs) literally popped right out from their heads, then took off running like they had NEVER taken off running before!

"You work in Saddam Hussein's rainbow-colored chocolate factory in Heaven, right? Does that not make you a HYPOCRITE?" Hutchison merrily, cross-eyedly sang, buck-nakedly chicken-dancing and cartwheeling all around (and across) the room while the parasite (which was actually a giant HOOKWORM, by the way, as if THAT makes any sense whatsoever outside of the obvious pun context) burrowed itself ravenously into her logic center.

"You know, I ENJOY severe head pain; it's like a good Chinese dinner shared with a blind, deaf, birth-defected, wheelchair-bound, African Asian American Icelandic Australian, furry, autistic, trans, hermaphrodite, Republican, feminist, poly-gender-queer ostrich with only one testicle, three nipples, two vaginas and every single fetish in the entire known universe!" Hutchison tilted her head into all KINDS of absurd directions, did jumping jacks and backflips and Michael Jackson twirls/moonwalks (oh my) every which way that she knew how and began rambling her head off (although thankfully not LITERALLY this time) as the worm made its way through her neural network and attacked her social justice moderation center with all of its might.

"Oh, for CRYING OUT LOUD, Hutchison, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL SEVEN NAMES OF FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Filburt yelled irritatedly at Hutchison, briefly bringing her back into reality and loosening the worm's grip on her poor, poor brain as it eagerly readied itself to fly straight toward Rocko and Heffer with its mouth as wide open as it could possibly go and straight-up devour them both in one fell gulp.

"Okay, this is it, Heffer; MAKE MY BICYCLE AIR PUMP GROW!" Rocko yelled at Heffer (so that his voice wouldn't be drowned out by the sound OF said full-blast motorized air engine, which he had somehow miraculously plugged into one of the numerous wall-sockets contained within Hutchison's brain and turned on at the EXACT same moment at which Hutchison had pulled out a fully revved-up chainsaw from underneath Filburt's bed and sent him frantically running out of the house, screaming at the tops of his ever-loving lungs and desperately dialing 911 all the way) as he coated the entire tube-shaped metal nozzle of the device with the world's strongest superglue (luckily still having their big, bulky muscles from before, naturally) while Heffer used the Grink Ray to make the device EXACTLY big enough so that its nozzle would fit perfectly into the creature's gaping, ravenous, completely mindless maw.

"SUCK ON THIS, DICKHEAD!" Rocko and Heffer both yelled in unison, holding on tightly to the device's now-massive nozzle and aiming it directly at the hookworm's mouth; of course, naturally, by instinct, the hookworm attacked the nearest moving and noise-making thing that it saw, which in this case WAS, in fact, the nozzle!

"Look out, Heffer; this ain't going to be pretty..." Rocko nervously warned Heffer, once again turning sickly green around the gills at the mere THOUGHT of what was undeniably about to happen as the worm, with its mouth now hopelessly stuck onto the nozzle of the loudly roaring and vibrating device, became progressively more swelled-up and inflated...and more...and more...and more...until finally...FINALLY...

KA-BLAM!

The worm burst from over-inflation in classic Dig Dug style and violently exploded into a literal shit-storm of gooey worm guts and alien juice all over both Rocko and Heffer AND the inside of Hutchison's brain itself, thankfully restoring her mental faculties back to (relatively) normal as our so-called "heroes" unplugged the device and returned it back to their hazmat suit pockets but also bringing the police straight to Filburt's front door and causing both Heffer and Rocko alike to (also violently) blow chunks all over the floor OF said brain!

"OH, DEAR! BAD ME, BAD ME!" Hutchison (who had already followed Filburt halfway across the house in the form of interpretive tap-dance, grinning her trademark slasher grin all the while) gasped in shock at the very sight of the running chainsaw in her hands, immediately shutting it off and stuffing it right back under Filburt's bed.

"Well, THAT was certainly something." Rocko and Heffer both exhaustedly whispered to each other in unison as they both fainted head-over-heels onto the floor (of Hutchison's brain) and passed out for the next roughly five minutes or so in a fit of post-traumatic stress disorder while Hutchison finally took out her earbuds and put the tape player away once and for all.

ABOUT SIX MINUTES LATER, AFTER FILBURT HAD FINALLY FINISHED EXPLAINING HIMSELF TO THE POLICE AND THEY HAD FINALLY FINISHED CONFIRMING THAT THERE WAS, IN FACT, NO LONGER ANYTHING WRONG...

"Alright, Hutchy, whaddaya say we make some of that good old hot, steaming, birds-and-the-bees LOVE to each other tonight?" Filburt teasingly asked Hutchison, reaching underneath the covers of his bed and sensually fondling her boobs and causing her to loudly squeal and giggle "THAT TICKLES" in response while Rocko and Heffer immediately hacked their way into Hutchison's central control computer with only THE absolute most malicious Cheshire Cat grins that you could possibly imagine for the given situation plastered onto their faces from ear to ear.

"Heffer? Let me ask you something, and let me ask it REAL GOOD: Are you thinking what I'M thinking of doing with good old Hutch's thinking muscle right now?" Rocko asked Heffer in a rather ominously seedy and perverted tone, already drooling luridly at the mouth while Heffer also did much of the same.

"Huh? Whaddayahowa?" Heffer shrugged his shoulders and absentmindedly pretended not to have been listening.

"ARE YOU GAY OR ARE YOU NOT, HEFFER? IT'S A VERY FUCKING SIMPLE QUESTION!" Rocko yelled infuriatedly at Heffer's (fake) incompetence while Heffer nervously bit his lip and trembled in sexually confused fear, not quite knowing HOW to answer Rocko's question himself.

"Well, umm...I guess you could say...well...um...uh..." Heffer nervously stammered and fidgeted, twiddling his fingers together and mockingly muttering "heh heh, OH MY" to himself.

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, SNAP OUT OF IT, YOU GOD-DAMNED BLOATED, BRAINLESS, BLITHERING BUFFOON, I MEAN FUCK!" Rocko snapped yet again at Heffer, bitch-slapping him RIGHT across the face in glorious slow-motion so that the viewers could extremely vividly see every last miniscule droplet of spit flying out of his mouth.

"Well, I suppose you could say...yes AND no?" Heffer sighed, regretfully blushing bright red in the process as he admitted what he considered one of his deepest, darkest secrets to Rocko.

"Well then, I'm only going to ask it one more time, and one more time only: ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?" Rocko asked Heffer even MORE eagerly and droolingly than before.

"YOU BET YER GAWSH DAYUM KANGAROO PRO-STATE I AM! YEE-HAW, N-(AFRICAN AMERICANS)! NOW GEET OFFA MAH LAWN BAY FOR AH FAHHER THAYS SUM-BAYETCH!" Heffer pulled out a sawed-off shotgun, played horsey with the assistant passenger's chair for Hutchison's central control computer and yelled at the tops of his lungs, briefly imitating his original Southern Texas accent in a terribly hypocritical mockery of Republicans.

"HEFFER, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU FIRE THAT GOD-FORSAKEN THING IN HERE, IT COULD LITERALLY KILL THIS FUCKING BRAIN'S OWNER! DO YOU WANT THAT? HUH? DO YOU?!" Rocko yelled at the tops of his lungs as he pounced directly onto Heffer and initiated a classic Looney-Toons-style "dust brawl" between the two of them.

"Say...Filburt, did you HEAR something?" Hutchison asked Filburt curiously. "Something related to the true philosophical meanings of algebra, calculus, trigonometry and the entire mathematical universe as a whole, perhaps?"

"Nope, just completely useless bullshit." Filburt snarkily replied as Hutchison suddenly rolled out of the bed and walked right out of the room. "Hey, where the hell are you going?"

"It's a SURPRISE, you cheeky boy!" Rocko- I mean, Hutchison briefly turned around to face him, winking seductively at him in the process. "You LIKE surprises, don't you? Especially EROTIC ones, I'll bet..." she briefly continued teasing him and then sexily slunk off into Filburt's basement, her beautiful yellow ass bouncing back and forth AND up AND down all the while.

"Somebody please pinch me; I swear to GOD I'm dreaming right now...there's seriously absolutely NO WAY that someone like ME was able to score THIS ludicrously hot of a wife..." Filburt disbelievingly thought to himself, his boner already so big that it was poking right through the top of his underwear by quite a bit.

A FEW MINUTES LATER...

"Look what MOMMY brought home, sweetie!" Hutchison, who was now dressed in a mouthwateringly sexy bondage suit (in which she was still pretty much completely naked except for her newfound nipple rings, black leather combat boots, black leather fishnet leggings AND black leather body straps, as well as her spiky black arm/neck bands), walked back up the stairs into Filburt's bedroom with a great big chest containing pretty much every single sex toy in the book.

"I lie uncorrected." Filburt muttered disbelievingly to himself, his jaw firmly agape as he briefly lowered his glasses and then put them back on, then smacked himself brutally across the face several times to make sure that what he was seeing WAS, in fact, actually real after all.

"Hey, keep doing that, you fucking pathetic bespectacled retard! I LIKE it when you do that, you god-damned miserable Jewish PEST!" Hutchison VERY insensitively laughed and jeered at Filburt, causing Filburt's already rather notably massive boner to grow even further as a result.

"Hutch, you are seriously everything I've EVER dreamed of, you know that?" Filburt VERY awkwardly moaned with pure unadulterated happiness, once again literally weeping from sheer joy as Hutchison continued to slowly but surely advance toward him, now COMPLETELY under Rocko's and Heffer's control.

"KEEP DREAMING, MOTHERFUCKER." Rocko and Heffer both uttered in unison into Hutchison's voice-control microphone with sadistically smug and condescending smirks, at which point Filburt was officially, to say the LEAST, having the absolute best night of his entire life.