PART 2

LATER THAT NIGHT, AT ABOUT 9:00 PM, BACK AT ROCKO'S HOUSE, IN HIS GARAGE...

"Alright, Heffer, listen up; we're going to be needing a good set of suction cups and rubber suits for the upcoming...ahem...SECRET AGENT MISSION that the two of us are about to embark on tonight, among probably other things as well!" Rocko rather distrustfully explained to Heffer while frantically scrounging through his tool cabinets and toolboxes and slinging out various tools that Heffer reflexively ducked and weaved out of the way of in response.

"Do you think that you can at least be mature and responsible enough to handle them properly for what our plans are, if nothing else?" Rocko asked Heffer increasingly fearfully as the two of them took all of the things that they needed (probably a lot MORE than they needed, actually), obviously including the Grink Ray, and very illogically stuffed them into the tiny little pockets of their hazmat suits as the two of them walked right back out of the garage and into the living room again.

"Uh, SURE, Rocko! TEE HEE!" Heffer giggled like an idiot (which he was considerably more of than you might think, let me tell you), jamming screwdrivers into his nostrils and making them stick out like great big sausages for his own selfish amusement while Rocko just irritatedly groaned in annoyed disappointment, grabbed him by the hand and dragged him right back out into the front yard with him.

MEANWHILE IN THE LIVING ROOM AT FILBURT'S HOUSE, WHILE ROCKO AND HEFFER WERE BUSY SNEAKING THEIR WAY OVER TO SAID HOUSE...

"Ah, now THIS is the pathetic miserly joke of a life I've always DREAMED of having if I EVER experienced it!" Filburt laughed triumphantly and smugly as Hutchison adorably curled up and fell asleep atop his lap while the two of them leisurely sat on their luxurious black leather couch together and watched television. "MMM, YEAH, RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU MOST, BABY..."

"Aw, Filbi-Kins, please stop being such a perverted creep, KAY?!" Hutchison giggled sarcastically, tilting her head into a somehow even more exaggerated angle than before and awkwardly twitching her eyes as her neck audibly snapped from the strain that she had just put on it.

"Great SCOTT, sometimes I really DO wonder what in the actual hell is going on in that crazy little head of yours..." Filburt teasingly whispered in her ear, causing her to playfully giggle and squirm against him even more while he began lovingly petting her and stroking her hair.

"It's nothing, KAY?! I'm perfectly fine!" Hutchison teased him, stroking his chin and once again lovingly smooching him on the cheek while Rocko and Heffer crept their way ever-closer to her and Filburt's new pad. For the record, yes indeed; the two of them actually WERE, in fact, wearing hazmat suits in public, and were rather understandably being looked at weirdly and suspiciously by local suburban citizens all the while as a result.

Once Rocko and Heffer had finally reached Filburt's front door, they immediately hid in a nearby bush so that the former of the two could further continue and discuss his current mission briefing.

"Okay, so you ring the doorbell, and then I'll just use this gun here to shrink both of us right down to ant size so that Filburt can no longer see us!" Rocko whispered into Heffer's ear, having thankfully brought walkie-talkies but also having had literally no reason to use them yet at that moment.

"OH! TEE HEE! It's just like DING DONG DITCH!" Heffer began laughing and yelling uproariously, his voice thankfully being muffled by the hazmat suit's breathing filter.

"You bet your RUMP it is, pal! Come on, LET'S GO!" Rocko very excitedly and enthusiastically commanded Heffer as the two of them got onto their tippy-toes and very sneakily approached the aforementioned front door of Filburt's house in a very truly supreme act of dramatic cinematic irony, culminating in the amazingly memorable and exhilarating moment when...Heffer rang Filburt's doorbell?

"OKAY, HIDE, HIDE!" Rocko frantically whispered to Heffer, setting the Grink Ray into SHRINK mode and very quickly firing it first at Heffer, then at himself.

"WHERE? Oh, I GET IT! DURR HURR!" Heffer laughed (AMAZINGLY not sarcastically) as he and Rocko, now shrunken down to almost literally microscopic ant size, eagerly waited for Filburt to get off his lazy arse and open the door.

"Honey, somebody rang the doorbell, KAY?!" Hutchison reminded Filburt as the latter mildly irritatedly pried the former off of himself with all of his might and got back up onto his feet.

"Yeah, sure, and honey also shrunk the kids, what ELSE is new?" Filburt bitterly snarked to himself under his breath as he drowsily walked up to the front door and opened it. "Hello? Who's there?" he exhaustedly rubbed his eyes and groaned as Rocko and Heffer very quickly and thankfully inaudibly came scurrying in between his legs before he could ever even hope to catch sight of them.

"Oh, of course, now I've got my next-door neighbors playing frickin' Ding-Dong Ditch pranks on me, THAT'S what! How INCREDIBLY gosh-darned amusing! HA HA HA!" Filburt began ranting and raving extremely snarkily as he angrily slammed the door (which very clearly had a DO NOT ENTER sign on the front of it, for the record) right back shut and went into the kitchen to make limeade smoothies.

"MAN, it sure is getting HOT in here..." Hutchison flamboyantly teased Filburt, stripping the outer layer of her clothing right off and reducing herself to wearing literally nothing but a skimpy bikini and her even skimpier women's underwear yet again while Filburt teasingly wolf-whistled in response, not even wanting to show her how big of an erection he had already just gotten while Rocko and Heffer coated the gloves and boots of their hazmat suits with the former's aforementioned household suction cups and did much of the same.

"Oh my GOSH...she's so HUGE now...it's my wet dream come TRUE..." Heffer moaned and drooled in arousal, nearly creaming his pants from the mere imaginary vision (let alone the actual sight) of a woman so incredibly beautiful and "massive" as Hutchison was from his and Rocko's rather admittedly degrading size perspective at the moment as he and Rocko EXTREMELY excitedly approached the couch that Hutchison was currently curled up and sleeping on while they still had the immensely boner-inducing chance.

"Heffer, you'd better believe that an adventurous opportunity of this magnitude only occurs every once in a whole sodding LIFETIME, if that!" Rocko ecstatically exclaimed to Heffer, barely even able to keep his composure from how insanely excited he was as he and Heffer used their suction cups to climb their way up the left leg of the couch, then finally make their way over to Hutchison's gorgeously outstretched (and just generally gorgeous) bare soles.

"Honey, would you like your limeade martini with 70 percent alcohol by volume or 80 percent?" Filburt cocked an eyeglass over at Hutchison and asked her curiously while Rocko and Heffer were busy climbing and clambering their way up her incredibly beautiful and arousing (practically) naked body, of which they had already made it all the way up to the breast point.

"80 percent, baby...now excuse me while I insert my earbuds and listen to some good old-fashioned classical music on my tape player!" Hutchison yelled loudly (so that Filburt would hear her over the sound of his blender grinding and mashing up the limeade ingredients and imported Rockoco beverage that he had just poured into it), pulling her portable tape player and earbuds literally right out from the gap in-between her boobs while Rocko and Heffer, who were now literally right next to the cat lady's left ear, yelled "NOOOOOO" in response as she forcefully jammed her earbuds into her ears and began playing the prelude song to her mixtape, also known as In The Hall Of The Mountain King.

"OH, DEAR SWEET ZORRO, WHAT ON EARTH ARE WE GOING TO DO?!" Rocko shrieked in panic as he and Heffer frantically clambered their way over Hutchison's ear flap and found themselves standing right there inside the obliviously unaware missus' hearing funnel, pondering over the big question of how they were going to remove the earbud from it while Filburt came back to her with the two martinis he had just made, set them down on the coffee table right in front of the couch, and placed a cozy white blanket snugly on top of Hutchison as she continued blissfully napping without a care in the world.

"DUH...get STRONG, I guess?" Heffer suggested in a profoundly caveman-like manner, shrugging his shoulders and throwing his arms out beside him to illustrate his profound lack of a better or more sophisticated idea.

"Oh my dear sweet Irwin, OF COURSE!" Rocko exclaimed, a great big lightbulb appearing over his head and shining so brightly that it exploded into pieces as he jumped sideways onto Heffer's chest, grabbed him by the shoulders and ever-so-ecstatically-and-relievedly shook the living crap out of him "HEFFER, YOU'RE A BLOODY GENIUS!"

"For...for REAL?" Heffer whimpered, breaking out into only the most absolutely adorably awkward of smiles as his eyes watered up and began weeping with sheer joy.

"No, silly, we just have a very important PRODUCT PLACEMENT to make if I do say so myself!" Rocko chuckled smugly as he and Heffer each pulled out a great big can of Popeye-brand spinach from their pockets and ate the whole damned thing in one big hearty gulp, causing their arm and chest muscles to suddenly grow to gargantuan proportions!

"Repeat after me: AN EARBUD IS AN EARBUD AND THAT'S ALL IT'LL EVER BE!" Rocko and Heffer ever-so-boisterously chanted in unison, making hilariously exaggerated muscle-straining noises that sounded more like constipation noises than anything else as they each grabbed on tightly to Hutchison's left earbud and began pulling and lifting with all of their combined might, until FINALLY it was going... going...GONE!

"GAH! This is what I absolutely HATE about earbuds, let me tell you; THEY ALWAYS fall out!" Hutchison sprung right back up into regular sitting position (just as Rocko and Heffer were already tumbling straight through the now-fully-exposed outer opening into her ear canal) and angrily lamented her headphone brand for its extreme incompetence regarding earbuds as she immediately stuffed her left one right back in and waited eagerly for it to transition over into the next song on her playlist...which of course, was none other than Blue Danube.

"WOW...it's so BEAUTIFUL!" Heffer gasped in amazement at the sight of Hutchison's repulsively thick and revoltingly elaborate stalactite and stalagmite formations of hairy, nasty, occasionally even OOZING AND DRIPPING earwax, his jaw wide open in sheer wonderment at the fact that he was now literally (AND unbeknownstly, allegedly) inside someone else's ear canal, AND with classical music playing in the background.

"Look, you can even see her HEARING VEINS!" Heffer exclaimed in childlike wonder, suddenly catching sight of a literal wax SCULPTURE that was fashioned directly after classical Greek ones, right down to the whole "artistic" nudity part (yes, for the uninitiated, that means his penis was indeed showing).

"Hey, look, there's that good old 'Neoclassical Elizabethan Buildup' that Dr. Bendova kept telling you about! Wonder if she got it from listening to so much classical music all the time?" Heffer rambled rather disturbingly fascinatedly to Rocko, who was already turning green in the face and trying desperately not to puke from what he could already see embedded into Hutchison's ear flesh all around him and his dearly beloved bestie.

"Heffer, get out your crowbars and be quick about it." Rocko very flatly told Heffer, already almost completely petrified in terror after his sudden realization that Hutchison's music, combined with his and Heffer's recent (not to mention VERY unwelcome) arrival inside the poor lass' hearing canal, had just woken up a nice big nest-like swarm of ear mites that were more than likely going to try and EAT the two of them!

"So anyway, tell me, my dear sweet kitty-kins; do you ever feel this sudden ITCH in a place where you REALLY shouldn't be feeling it?" Filburt asked Hutchison quizzically, wrapping his arm around her gently as the local news station went over probably O-Town's hundredth attempted murder/suicide in the past week. "Like, a 'my mind's telling me no, but my body's telling me yes' type of deal, perhaps?"

"Yeah, but not in my PRIVATE parts like YOU'RE suggesting, you silly GOOSE; rather, it's in my EAR!" Hutchison groaned rather whinily, trying desperately to resist the urge to stick her finger in there and scratch it.

"HEFFER, QUICKLY, PULL OUT YOUR DUAL CROWBARS WHILE I PULL OUT MY METAL BASEBALL BAT!" Rocko desperately commanded Heffer in hopes of ensuring their survival.

"Well, how about a wet WILLIE for old time's sake, then?" Filburt chuckled merrily, wetting his finger with saliva and briefly removing Hutchison's left earbud so that he could forcefully jam said finger into the corresponding ear canal of hers, prompting a rather understandable "YUCK" from her and also pushing the mites even deeper into her ear, at which point they immediately begun swarming and attacking Rocko and Heffer!

"BATTER UP, BITCH BOY!" Rocko yelled furiously as the first mite of MANY lunged straight at him with its fang-like legs and attempted to latch onto his head, prompting him to smash its basically nonexistent face in with a great big horizontal swing of his bat, then disgustingly bloodily and gorily smash it into pieces with several vertical ones.

"LEAVE! MY! FUCKING! DOG! ALONE!" Rocko yelled valiantly with each downward smash.

"THE WRONG PLACE IN THE RIGHT MAN CAN MAKE ALL THE WORLD IN THE DIFFERENCE!" Heffer yelled so ridiculously angrily that he actually forgot which order to logically utter his words in as he went on a murderous rampage with his dual-wielded crowbars, smashing every last mite (especially the ones that dared to stand in his way) in one fell sweep (more like one HUNDRED, but you get the idea regardless).

This incredibly gross and violent charade went on like this for at least an entire minute (if not a solid minute and a half) while Hutchison VERY conveniently imagined that it was seriously just her antibodies finally stepping into action against the vile parasitic beasts that dwelt in her hearing organ (is if THEY were actually capable of doing THAT; honestly, however, you can't really blame her for thinking such a thing in a show like this one).

Finally, once Rocko and Heffer were down to the last two mites, Rocko hit the poor unfortunate host's aforementioned Neoclassical Elizabethan earwax statue clean in half by striking it horizontally across the lower abdomen with his bat, prompting him and Heffer to each take their very own respective half of the ridiculously hardened work of art and smash one of the last two remaining bugs into roadkill with it.

"EAT THIS, WRETCHED ABOMINATION!" Rocko yelled valiantly as he swung the lower half of Hutchison's earwax statue straight down (holding it by the ankles, naturally) and smashed his designated "last bug" so ridiculously hard with it (with the statue's groin, no less) that it completely imploded, splattering various different types of grisly guts and bug juice all OVER the place while Heffer readied himself for his OWN grand finisher.

"NOW DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE EAR, HAIRY?!" Heffer yelled maniacally as he also swung the upper half of Hutchison's earwax statue straight down (holding it by the abdomen, of course) and smashed HIS designated "last bug" with it, leaving the entire surrounding area around him and Rocko completely splattered and dripping with a mixture of bug juice, bug ORGANS, earwax, and probably kangaroo vomit a few seconds later as well, judging from the rate at which Rocko's stomach was currently going.

"Hold on a second, Heffer; now I REALLY don't feel so good...just gimme a sec- a sec- BLEEEAUUUGH!" Rocko briefly slipped off his hazmat helmet, grabbed the rotting corpse of a nearby dead ear mite and blood-curdlingly painfully heaved his guts into it.

"See, Rocko? THIS is why us Nah-Teev Ahmer-Eekans ALWAYS get vaccinated BEFORE stuff like this can happen to us!" Heffer laughed uproariously at poor, POOR Rocko's expense, causing him to roll his eyes like never before as he and Heffer more-than-slightly reluctantly approached Hutchison's beautifully pearly and shiny eardrum.

"Never mind, the itch is all better now, KAY?!" Hutchison laughed ungodly relievedly, swinging her head into yet ANOTHER ninety-degree angle (while Rocko and Heffer clung for dear life onto her ear hair) as she and Filburt gluttonously guzzled down their ridiculously strong alcoholic beverages and made their way upstairs into the bedroom.

"Well, okay then...let's just hope my kosher weiner syndrome also gets better by the time we reach the bedroom..." Filburt very awkwardly joked, blushing from ear to ear in the process.

"Your WHAT?" Hutchison cocked an eyebrow at Filburt and asked him roughly just-as-awkwardly while Rocko and Heffer curiously pondered over how and what with they were going to get past Hutchison's extremely sensitive eardrum without being noticed.

"Rocko, hurry, COVER YOUR EARS!" Heffer frantically shook Rocko by the shoulder and warned him (in a very faintly whispering tone of voice, so as to avoid being heard by Hutchison) as Filburt, absolutely ENRAGED at how incredibly stupid Hutchison was (much like how Rocko was utterly AMAZED by the fact that Heffer actually WAS, in fact, smart enough to realize which of Hutchison's ears Filburt's voice was coming into her head through), huffed, puffed, and blew the primary defensive gate to the poor kitten's central nervous system RIGHT down.

"MY ERECTILE FUCKING DYSFUNCTION, ASS-FOR-BRAINS!" Filburt removed Hutchison's left earbud and screamed so ridiculously loudly into the corresponding ear of hers that it not only broke almost every window on the first floor but also COMPLETELY shattered her poor defenseless eardrum into jagged, bloody pieces, giving Rocko and Heffer the perfect opportunity to slip right through the newly made opening into her middle ear, where they then made their way into her even MORE sensitive and delicate inner ear!

"OH MY GAWD, SWEETIE, ARE YOU OKAY?!" Filburt gasped in shock, lovingly tending to Hutchison's violently bleeding ear with a handkerchief and washing it out with soap, water and various disinfectants in the bathroom while Rocko and Heffer leapt directly into her cochlea/semicircular system and were sucked straight through it as if it were some kind of anatomical water slide, causing Hutchison to groggily and dizzily sway back and forth as she tightly clutched the left side of her head in almost-unbearable pain. "Don't worry, sugar-pie, this is how cartoon ears are supposed to already be by default..." he disturbingly calmly reassured her as Rocko and Heffer finally reached the very thing that they had REALLY been waiting so eagerly to see all this time...Doctor Pauline Maurice Hutchison-Shellbach The First's brain, in both the flesh AND the equally beautiful and delicious skull bone!