[Suggested music - Bowser's Lava Lair - Super Mario Galaxy 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D82FSn0CPuQ ]

The floor had a firm print of Bowsette's rear in it, almost smouldering with residual heat. This was the key to Wario's escape plan. He laid flat, and brought drew his arms towards himself. "Bring it, turtle breath!" He looked away, bracing himself ass the butt crashed onto his diminutive form once again...

THUD

The giant woman ensured she put all her strength into the seat, to squeeze any remaining resistance out of the pest trying to invade her privacy.

Wario laughed despite the pain. "Come on, is that it, you big meathead?"

She shouted in frustration, taking to the air again. Flames, distant but blazing, lit a spot on Wario, providing a perfect target for her landing. And again, with a vengeance, twisting his sturdy limbs...

THUD

His laughs rang out, only barely muffled by flesh covering his ears. "Wahaha! I've seen Diamond Elementary kids hit harder than you!" He felt seven fractures in his chin alone. "Wait'll they hear this!"

A tiny, sad moan escaped from Bowsette's lungs. "Elementary... no!" Immediately, a fireball shot out. "All right, since you asked nicely, I'll make you extra-flat!"

Splitting stone floors echoed as the squishy, moist torture continued. Excellent! His plan was working - though it might kill him first. Vibrations from her generous rear shook him, but he persevered...

SCRUNCH

"Wahahaha!" His molars gritted together in pain. "Guess you really are softening up, Bowsette!"

Frenzied, reptilian snarls echoed above in a mix with breathy, booming-yet-feminine screeches. He could only imagine the mix of emotions on that soft face, twisted into an inhuman rage...

SMACK

By now, rubble from the smashed floor littered the looming cheeks and twisting tail... Almost there...

THRASH

Wario taunted: "Hey, try hitting my shoulder next, I got a kink in there!"

Bowsette glared down, volcanoes erupting from her lips and ears. "Shut up! I'm gonna crush you, you yellow stinkbug!"

Boom.

BOOM.

Rrrrrrumble...

After another ground-pound, embedding the bandit deep in her ass cheek, Bowsette felt something shake. The floor cracks formed by her repeated Bowser Bombs spread out, crisscrossing with shrill creaks. Her face sunk once she realized what was happening, her cuffed muscles tensing and freezing one by one.

It didn't matter. At once, the thick, worn stone blocks broke under her.

She screamed in shock as the abyss opened below. A doom carved by her own curves! The titanic turtle was barely able to survive falling in the pit by clutching to the side of an unbroken block.

Still surrounded by the cage's steel, Peach looked up from her Nintendo Switch. "Oh. I always wondered about that last boss Mario described in 1988." Unveiling a turnip from her blouse, she lobbed it expertly between the bars, across the lava sea, striking Bowsette's fingers.

The Koopa Queen entered free fall. Wario's plan worked! While she descended with the grace of an anvil, the thief was flat enough from her tantrum that he floated gently to the lower level, like a piece of loose leaf paper. He'd need to spend some of those profits repairing his fractured -everything-. Still, he overcame the infamous Koopa King... or Queen. That was worth flashing a victory sign for!

At last, after a long fall with nothing to grab, the giantess landed in the room below with a loud crash, flat on her shell. She rocked everywhere on it, unable to get up. "Ow! Not fair! Not fair! That totally doesn't count! - Ow! - I shoulda won that!" Tiny puffs of smoke escaped with her exhausted breaths.

Man, that was loud. Wario floated gently upon her chest, partly sinking into the dark fabric. In a long, heavy breath of musty air, he refilled his gut to its normal circumference. The bandit crawled into the cleavage and pushed the mountainous breasts aside, greedy hands sinking into the trembling skin. Bowsette tried to swat him off, delicate palms falling on her body; but his feet were too quick, and she was too sore to hit herself any more. With some wiggling, his backside sticking out, he crawled between the dank folds and -

"Wahaha! It's mine!"

He finally snatched the Power Star away. It was in his grip once again!

By now, Bowsette's shouts had shrunk to tiny growls, barely shaking her lungs. "A turnip... Peach'll never... never really like me." She curled as deep as possible into her shell, trying to hide her face. "I can change myself in her image. I can steal the stars in the night sky for her. I can remake the universe with her at the center. And she'll never love me."

Sentimental, gooey stuff - a perfect time to escape. Wario prepared a getaway, looking around at the room they'd landed in...

[Suggested music - Deep Castle - Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66y6456xAWg ]

A hall full of Bowser's minions - staring and chattering.

"Aw, come on!" He tucked himself in the shell to hide. But obviously, the tiny intruder wasn't the cause of the commotion. The Koopa Troop had just seen a woman in a shredded dress, green shell, and spike-studded cuffs fall from the sky, directly in the center of the room. She was cowering, quaking, pulling at a pink crown that dressed her head.

"Is this Peach?" One Koopa queried. Bowsette painfully leaned backwards, uncomfortable with how tall his loyal subject looked.

A few Shy Guys whispered.

"An escape?"

"What does she think she's doing?"

"Wait... a Super Crown? That can't be..."

Their queen wanted to say something, but it choked up in smoke. The confusion painting the faces around froze her, chilling Wario along with it.

Some Boos giggled madly. "Awfully buff for a princess!"

Bowsette kept silent as the crowd grew larger, the chatter into an indiscernible, droning cacophony. She was only trying to find a way to finally beat that red-mustached bully, and have Peach for good; and now, her mere existence let down the clan that followed her into battle. If she could press a reset button on all this, recede into her throne, and chuck the Super Crown into a black hole...

Until a low voice rang out, patting at her delicate hand.

"Lord Bowser! Are you hurt, your nastiness?"

Her horns peeked out from their cover. A Goomba with a prominent bandage and an aura of stupidity tapped on her, looking for wounds. The monarch's eyebrow raised in confusion, sweat dropping from her forehead. "...Huh?"

The Goomba jumped, its normal frown curling up in cheer. "Good! You can still speak! Oh, it's so good to see your ferociously inspiring face again, Lord Bowser!"

"Bowser?" Bowsette coughed. "Did you... call me... Bowser?"

At first, nobody noticed this odd, big-browed mushroom who'd come to meet the spiked damsel from the ceiling. But now, they hushed, looking inwards. What was that dummy thinking - and what was this woman saying?

The minion chirped up. "Who else would you be, my king? A yellow thing injured me when I was defending your room, but the sounds of your fierce skirmish reawakened my fighting spirit!" He looked around at the silence, and asked: "Lord Bowser, should we send reinforcements upstairs?"

With a stammer, the queen sat up. "N-no! Stop calling me that! Look!" She cupped her hand across her generous chest, ran it down her shapely arm, and brushed a finger on her disgustingly soft lips. "Look at this, this isn't Bowser material! How can you call me a king or anything if I'm so... wimpy? I can't even squish a little yellow squirt, or keep hold of a princess. I don't deserve your pity."

Still hiding, Wario rubbed his multiple chins in consideration. That explained why she kept calling herself "Bowsette". But none of this helped with the star...

To the crowd's surprise, a Koopa scooted up closer, joining the Goomba. "Sorry to intrude, but - you broke the ceiling, dude." He pointed a finger up to the huge hole above. "That's some seriously thick material, see. Those stunts say 'Bowser' to me."

After an awkward, confused pause, a Boo approached - fluttering safe distance near the woman's crown. "And those battle cries... Scary! That's the Bowser I admire!"

"And isn't us losing Peach standard operating procedure at this point?" A Shy Guy shrugged two stubby shoulders. "If you're wimpy, then we're all wimpy together."

A small, sad smile crossed Bowsette's face - which slowly lifted up, revealing itself to the surrounding crowd. The anxious chatter lifted again, with a few happy cheers lifting from it. She held a hand to her toothy mouth, tail fidgeting. "What idiots! You don't understand a thing about this, do you?" Her angry shouts only made the cheers louder, causing her to pound a foot on the floor for attention - shaking Wario's body a little more. "Quit mocking me!"

The first Goomba, from behind his cranium, revealed a Super Crown. "Maybe I don't understand... But I'll follow my leader, no matter where that takes me!" He placed it on his mushroomy head. With a POOF, the minion became a brown-haired princess with a glare of senseless determination.

The Boo followed suit quickly, equipping her own crown. Replacing the white blob was a pale, ghastly maiden, with a slobbering tongue hanging loose. "Haha! This is horrifying. I love it!"

Another POOF from the side - and where the odd Koopa Troopa once stood was a short girl, somewhat resembling the bemused queen herself, in a green dress.

A set of multiple poofs filled the room; multiple Shy Gals now stood chattering, in every colour of the rainbow. One with a shapely form in red and light green hair over her mask shrugged. "If you can't beat 'em..."

Bowsette, with arms crossed, tried to hold herself back; but ended up giving a hearty laugh, crossing her cuffed arms together. "Gwahahaha! How the heck did you guys get so many Super Crowns?"

From the side, a girl with cute round glasses and blue pajamas snickered in response. "This is... the Hyper Final Boss Weapon, my liege. Simple duplication magic to confuse the enemy. But really, I didn't plan for them to do this together." Kamek observed the display, then returned to Bowsette, standing proud in the center. Flames blazed out of the queen's mouth in contentment.

"Well, of course! Of course they still love me, Koopa or not!" She cheered, a few tears streaming from her lashes; which she quickly flung off. "I'm a buncha things, Kamek. But here... I am queen!" Soon, there were few baddies that weren't transformed into girls, too - whether grinning Chain Chomps, dashing Bullet Bills, bespectacled Lakitus, or heavy-booted Thwomps. It spread in a wave, flooding the dark room. "And what's weird, is all of this is thanks to..."

A chill ran up her spine.

"WARIO!"

Her shout silenced everyone instantly, as they turned to their beloved leader. In the commotion, Wario had taken his Power Star and bolted for it. He nudged his way past a Shy Gal's heel, and now ran through the door. Hearing the shout, he began laughing in victory. "Wahaha, a happy ending for everyone!"

His laughter stopped when the Goomba princess stepped on him. She twisted her heel, rubbing the mark on her head. "Vengeance! My people shall have vengeance, criminal!"

The blow made him drop the glowing treasure. It bounced down the hall. Minions scrambled for it - but clashed together, jamming the doorway, and trampling the thief inadvertently. Finally, after a two more bounces, it landed in the hands of...

"Thank you so much, Wario, for to finding our star!"

Mario picked up the star, holding it high. What?

Following him, Luigi stumbled forward, carrying the encaged princess. Using the star with its lock, Mario freed her. It dissolved upon contact with the lock; making the thief's jaw fall agape in mourning. They applauded in glee at their victory, Peach blowing kisses to both brothers - until she turned to see the room nearby. All three faces sank in confusion at the horde of princesses scurrying on top of each other, Bowsette screaming orders and insults in the distance. Taken aback with horror at a Booette crawling out, Luigi shut the door.

From underneath it, Wario scurried out, his body bruised and broken. "It's not fair! I worked hard for that star! I knew you were coming, but not that soon!" He chewed at his cap, tearing its seams. "I want my reward!"

Accordingly, the titanic Peach leaned down, and planted a large, wet smooch that encompassed his face. "Thank you, Wario. Your quest is now over. We will remember you forever as a hero."

He growled in response. "What good is that? How am I supposed to sell that in Rogueport, or ransom it off for money?"

With a heavy pound, Bowsette forced the door open, knocking the Mario Bros. aside. The horde of baddies stood beside in wait, looking through the legs and arms of their beloved boss. Peach receded, shaking, as the rivaling monarch's large hand approached... And landed on her puffy shoulder.

The queen bowed her head. "Thanks." She glared up. "Now get out with your two plumbers. You won't escape next time!"

Peach bowed, putting her hand to Bowsette's cheek. "If you need any help with the crown..."

"Don't test me!... Jerk." With a hum, the queen returned both Mario Brothers to their feet, confused, and pushed them out. Peach followed, but was looking behind herself. What about the third capped man, who retrieved the star from the danger of Bowsette's clutches?

Suddenly, a pressure lifted from Bowsette's scalp. In a POOF, the crown was off. Instead of the curvy, dark-dressed queen was a bulky, red-haired Koopa grumbling in confusion. Wario slid off the normalized Bowser's shell, carrying the Super Crown in hand - and rushing off after the other heroes. "Wahaha! This I can get rich from!" He drooled, eyes in the air. "I'll send out a message: 'I am a wealthy Mushroom princess in need of help. Please send all your money to Princess Wario at-'"

"Get him!" Bowser commanded to his troop. Immediately, a troop of girls rushed to capture the fleeing, chortling Wario, hastily marching together to please their monarch. "Get my precious crown back!"

Kamek, still with his crown on, tugged at Bowser's leg. "Sir? I thought you wanted that off. And anyway, we can find another..."

"It might come in handy!" Bowser growled, looking to the marching women, and following after with clumsy steps. "Come on, do it for Queen Bowsette!"

[Suggested music - Going Home DX - Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdQmyH2oPNY ]