[Suggested music - Wario Land: Shake It! - The Pirate Shop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wFL8QeQu2Y ]

A nice bath...

With both hands to her hips, Captain Syrup turned on her shapely heel (squeezing Wario into its expanse once again) and walked to her bathtub, in the shape of an oversized teacup. This rotation gave her a panoramic view of the gold coins and treasures littering the room, piled so high that they nearly made the ceilings burst open. The Bottomless Coin Bag; diamonds and pearls; rare collectable figurines of Count Cannoli; no riches escaped the hold of the Black Sugar Gang.

And she was going to enjoy them. The woman undid the twisting laces covering her bandana and wrists. She pulled at her footwear, stepping out of the left shoe, then the right.

The coast was clear. With a few false starts, and muffled swears, the bandit beneath them clawed his way into the light. He stretched his flattened limbs, flexing until they returned to normal. A few deep breaths of the stale air, laced with an odd sugary smell. He wrung his cap free of the sole's filth, cringing as it crumbled to the ground.

Riches from anywhere between 4-10 corners of the Earth filled the captain's quarters. Even the towering tables and seats, with soft purple cushions, were priceless antiques from the Shokora Period - and from his angle, had disturbingly distinct imprints from pirate booty.

And oddly, a round bathtub with a cup's handle on it, before which the captain was stripping down.

Just as he'd finished sorting himself out, ready to start grabbing treasures, a filthy purple top fell on his head. The silky fabrics suffocated him, blocking out the view. He wrestled with the cloth, finally tearing a hole in the damp fibers.

"Stupid... Bah... A bath? What kinda pirate ship has internal plumbing?"

When he looked up, what Wario saw made his eyes open wider than his gut. His jaw dropped to his knees, drool hanging from it. He could do nothing but sputter.

Captain Syrup was in the tub, wearing her birthday suit.

And - far, FAR more importantly - she was pouring coins from the pile to fill it, as if they were water! All the room's treasures poured on her in a steady stream! Pieces of eight flowed down her immense neck bone; emerald waterfalls crashed across the overwhelming, fleshy breasts; a black jewel caught helplessly in the folds of her cleavage, clinging between each other as her greedy hands rubbed them together; pearl necklaces pooling down her well-trained abs and her bare navel; bills from every nation trekking down her Mound of Venus, which was even closer to a mountain now; national treasures thought long-lost sliding near her cavernous vagina; loose pocket change in avalanches over her skyscraper-scale legs; multiple forms of currency crashing down with a satisfying CLING at puddle by her ankles.

The pirate lass smiled to herself, lying into the bath of gold. The million-dollar landscape shifted at her command, accommodating her broad, busty frame. She splashed the funds up and down, scattering coins off the edge of the ceramic tub. A golden leviathan rose when she lifted her long, shapely leg, and rubbed a stack of bills across the perspiration-coated flesh.

"Ahh..." Syrup's sensual sigh, echoing inside the wooden room, broke her adversary from his disgusted trance. Her ruby eyes shut in contentment, lids painted with striking sapphire shadow. "It's good being captain." In a majestic goblet, she scooped up a healthy pile of loot, and poured it across her arms.

The man in yellow cringed. Did she do this often? Lathering herself in a sea of treasures, on a ship without internal plumbing? In a rare occurrence, Wario had to consider whether he REALLY wanted to touch his money now. It could risk infecting him with cooties.

Seeing it shift with her slow, steady breaths, he decided: he HAD to do it. This was a RESCUE mission, to save those suffering funds from this humiliating fate! He'd have to get anything he stole thoroughly cleaned, though. Maybe visit one of those money laundromats or money launderers or something.

Soon, the relaxed breathing above segued into a cute yawn, and gentle snores. Rocked by calm waves, the mighty Captain Syrup drifted into slumber.

This was his chance! The tiny thief scaled the tub, backside wobbling, aiming to collect the loot blanketing her.

Atop the ceramic mountain of a teacup, Wario got a perfect view of the golf-and-green hills forming atop his rival's generous curves. Her eyes shut gently, the world quaking from her slow breaths.

"Wario time." With a pump of his fist, the bandit dove forward

Now, this man was brave. He was also many times smaller than this redhead, and had just been trampled by her unknowingly. To top things off, the rest of the Black Sugar Gang was at her command. If she woke up suddenly, he would rather be far from her line of sight.

So, as he jumped into the sea of loot, he swam towards somewhere she wouldn't look.

[Suggested Music - Wario Ware D.I.Y. - Wario Land Record: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-VHm_wKTS0 ]

His treacherous (yet profitable) journey for the Black Sugar Gang's riches began by their leader's bare soles.

Her left foot was partly bathed in the coin pile, boulder-like toes sticking out - with some gold pieces lodged between the digits. Wario, with a stretch to prepare, leaped up and grabbed hold of one toejam nugget. To his horror, it stuck in pretty tightly! He pushed with his overall-clad legs against her middle and index toe, green shoes sinking into Syrup's own feet. With a grit of his teeth and a solid tug, he dislodged it - falling into the bath with it. The buccaneer's gargantuan proportions made it relatively easy for her to wade through chunks of solid gold, let it wash over her; to someone at her adversary's current grandeur, the landing was rock-solid.

"Gah..." He groaned, getting up. He attempted to scoop up the coin he landed on - while the gold fell from his arms. Each of those arms flew up in frustration. "GAH! How can I hold this much treasure? It keeps slipping between my fingers like sticky syrup..." A vein boiled by his sideburns, while he took a long, calming breath into of his pink nostrils. "...AND I HATE SYRUP!"

In rage, he dashed towards the largest toe, shoulder-checking it. The flesh surrounded him for a moment as he kept running... then, as if he hit a bumper on Waluigi's pinball course, it tossed him back.

Above, his rival stirred gently. Wario gulped. He dove under a bill marked with Peach's face, peeking out. The pirate's eyes blinked open. A little sigh left her pouted lips. Something moved under him, reshaping the sprawling landmasses of green. Syrup splashed her money weakly, before falling to sleep again, resting her fluffy red hair on her arm.

In that wave - besides making a garlic-filled little heart beat faster than a drum - the landscape lass splashed something towards him. A clear, round crystal ball, just small enough for Wario to hold. One of his bushy eyebrows lifted; he sniffed it inquisitively, and knocked on it, generating a tiny reverberation. "Eh, good as any treasure!"

With this orb in hand, he tried scooping the gold piece up again; only for it to levitate, and vanish in a flash of white. "Hey, no fair! Where did you go?" His sturdy neck twisted side to side, before realizing: the clear sphere in his hands had tiny (even to his scale) yellowish chunks inside. When he picked up a coin, it glowed the same way, before disappearing; and another fleck appeared in the orb, the same shape as it.

"Ah, I get it!" The man tapped his cap, laughing. "This is just like the ol' Music Box that I got lost in at the forest! Or that globe with the Shake Dimension! It's a trans-hypo-dimensional-pocket-holder-thingy! Or, uh, something that magically holds treasure."

Looking proud of himself, he collected chunks of gold that fell from Syrup's left foot when he pounded into it - watching happily as they entered his ball. "Wahaha! Now that's more like it! I'm gonna loot this whole tub dry!" He cut a clean stream across the teacup tub, grabbing this piece of loot and that. Each one's glow reflected in his wide, blue eyes, sparkling with beauty.

Meanwhile, Syrup's right ankle (resting on a bed of emeralds) twitched slightly, stirring the gems in a whirlpool. It grabbed our anti-hero's attention, and he began moving in a beeline towards the veritable monolith. A pearl necklace hung across the profound canyon of her long, multimeter-wide sole, flowing from the curvy ball to the perfectly-round heel: the same one that had flattened Wario several times on the way to her quarters. And far at the top, lodged within her full big and second toe, was a glistening dollar coin!

Rubbing both hands together, and shoving the orb in his butt pocket, Wario grabbed on the beads, and pushed his feet against Syrup's own foot. He began scaling it; the mountain climber heaving forward with his arms, putting one foot after the other in a regimented march. It traced up the intricate weave of lines making her wrinkles; when she scrunched her sole in irritation, with a soft hum, he could use them as footholds.

One great sway of the boat rocked Wario to the side. Everything trembled beneath him. Her heel began to lift from the tub. He clutched to the makeshift rope, as it swayed. The whole leg had lifted slightly, gently, but it was nearly catastrophic for him! Undeterred, the man pushed his hefty-but-healthy weight into a great swing; and landed right by the coin, in the segment between Syrup's immense digits!

"Waahaha!" In triumph, he laughed, and grabbed for the coin: only to find it stuck, held tightly behind the minuscule folds in the pirate's flesh and a clump of her toejam. Another firm yank, but it didn't so much as budge! "Baugh! Come on..." He kicked it.

A fierce tremble shook the soft platform of skin in response; like goosebumps, or the rise of a great sea beast. The cabin's shadows shifted over him. A plethora of wrinkles formed under the bandit's soles. And with naught but a twitch, the immense redhead squeezed both of her toes together, pressing the trespasser tight between a digit and his treasure.

"Hey!" When he shouted at the pressure, he just got a nose full of the salty skin plane. Syrup had been on the boat for days, and he could feel it; bits of dirt rubbed across his face, stinking his eyes. "Urgh! That's rank!"

The shrunken man reached for his sphere, to grab the coin in it. But no matter where his beefy arms swung, they just landed in far beefier, filthier foot flesh. He squirmed everywhere, his body wiggling in an attempt to free himself from the pressure on either side. The sweat coating it did give his plump form a good amount of lubrication, allowing him to move; but the coin remained in place. He could escape this torture, this horrific scent, if he let go of that dollar...

Fat chance. He gritted his teeth to bear it, screaming at his biceps in hopes of getting the coin to even budge. In anger, he bit into the toe - instantly sputtering out the foul skin that entered his mouth. It tasted familiar. Tasted of the times he'd seem her with her gang of thieves running away with his castle's loot, back when he could afford a castle... or the time she fled with the Bottomless Coin Bag from the Shake Dimension, leaving him in the dust... Or when he'd saved her from the clutches of a mad ghost, while she rested in his arms - only for him to realize it was just a dream, leaving him puzzled. The same pungent, soul-retching taste!

To summarize: far from the most pleasant thing to hit Wario's refined palate.

In the faraway distances, Syrup's nose twitched. She sensed the pressure, rushing up the intricate map of her nerves. Now, the toes began wiggling vigorously with the same fury as the clashing waves of a storm. He felt each solitary crevice in the prints squeeze past his face, gnarling his jaw into all sorts of fabulous, bizarre shapes. "Oof! Urgh! Stop it, you - PWARGH - putrid pirate!" It ground him between the great spheres with unbelievable force, jerking his gut this way and his backside the other way at the same time, before alternating.

With a wet twist, reading the timing of flexes from the gigantic phalange, the man in yellow and purple positioned himself so that he had his shapely rear to the overwhelmingly large toe, and feet to the dollar coin. He used all his leg muscles to push against the hard surface. All his might went into that, trying to force it away... And the toe just squeezed in harder. He pushed again, trying to dislodge himself with the money - for another twist to greet him. By now, the bandit was panting, collapsed against the expanse of skin. Just a small rest, to regain his spirit...

WWW

It seemed hours passed while he soaked there among his greatest pain-in-the-butt's foot filth, caught as a bit of toejam - periodically stirred from his state by the odd prod or wriggle. In reality, it was probably just a few minutes. A few excruciating, torturing minutes of getting cozy with Captain Syrup's stench; and watching a world of riches unattainably far away.

"Gah... This reeks." He felt his mustache flop flat, as his great little mind plotted his next movement.

Suddenly, the green and gold below swayed at a higher speed. Her bare knee rose from the teacup tub; Wario held tight to the coin as it approached her. Her eyes were still shut, and the same snores rose up in her abdomen and out of her red lips - and they became closer. A shapely, wide-stretching arm rose to her sole, dainty finger reaching out to scratch a little itch. Wario covered his eyes with his cap, bracing himself for the worst...

For just two seconds, her index finger rubbed him and the coin. And with no effort whatsoever, it freed them both from the vice grip!

In midair, the capped man took out his magic ball, using it to store the dollar coin, and the pearl necklace. He landed right at her ankles. The cache was looking far fuller now, in his hands!

Wario lifted the ball up in triumph - and immediately started gathering loose treasure at his feet. "Haha! Take that! I'm free! The coin's mine! Wahahaha!"

Above, the titaness rolled slightly, feeling the rest of the coins rub against her bare flesh. "Mhhmhhm... Zzz..."

Once satisfied, he marched for his next destination.