I found myself in a split in a muddy field infested with tiny men and their cute siege weapons. There were a number of unfortunate men that were smashed into the ground under my legs. Those under my thighs seemed to suffer the worst injuries, while those under my knees escaped relatively unscathed. A few had their limbs smashed under my legs and were in clear need of medical assistance, but only one medic dared to run forward. Somebody shouted something, and before I even knew what was happening, a stick about the size of a toothpick was shot through the medic’s chest, killing him instantly and leaving a large hole in the middle of his body. 

“Wait, why did you just shoot your own doctor? Am I not a threat to you guys anymore? What is wrong with you guys?”

I stood up, ignored the cries and pleas of the men that I left in a ditch shaped like my legs. I walked over their siege weapons and through their barracks. My feet mostly just moved by instinct, and I hardly cared when I stepped on a few of their tents, which collapsed like folded paper under my feet. All of the men were on the front lines, anyway. All but a few.

I stopped right before a particularly large tent that was clearly a different shade than the other tents. It was easily the size of a small basketball stadium for them. I grabbed (pinched?) one corner of the fabric and tore it away. 20 or so tiny men were sitting around a large rectangular table about the size of my finger, seemingly discussing tactics. They were all sitting around a rather fat man in an important-looking black suit. He turned around, expecting to see a soldier or recon, and instead only saw my toes tapping in the dirt, compacting it better than their heaviest road rollers could hope to.

“Well… could you explain the reason behind this unprovoked attack? Did you really think that you could stop me?”

I could tell even from my height that all of the color has drained from his face. He clearly expected his soldiers to fight back a little better. Unfortunately, when you are fighting an enemy that can simply step over your lines, land combat is less than ideal.

“M-My lady… what is the meaning of th-”

“SLAY THE MONSTER! YOU SHALL NOT INFLICT ANY HARM TO OUR GLORIOUS EMPEROR!”

A shorter but slimer yet stronger man pushed the first man backward, drew his pistol, and littered my shins with bullets. One seemed to have ricocheted into one of the officers behind him, judging the way that he collapsed clutching his shoulder.

“Hey, are you done yet? Your artillery was not able to harm me, and you’re not really doing anything by shooting me. The only way that I can really tell that you are shooting me are the sounds that are coming from your toy.”

In contrast to the “emperor,” this bug’s face filled with redness. “You shall not insult me, ogress! You may be bigger and smarter than the average ogress, but you are still powerless to stop my attack! I will conquer you! I shall avenge my brother’s death!”

Powerless to stop his attack? Alright, let’s play with him.

I lightly tapped him in the head with my toes. Instead of annoying him, this simple action seemed to have thrown him to the ground, quite violently too. He might have flown a good 10 or 12 feet relative to his size and landed on a small mound. I quickly drew a shallow moat around his hill and it filled with water flooding in from a nearby tributary. Shallow as in probably 20 feet deep to him or something.

“Look, I don’t really want to hurt you much more. But you have to corporate. I swear that I will let you be if you explain why you guys decided to shoot me. But if you try and attack or escape, see this ass? I’ve been running for quite a while, that ass may look soft, but ask your men, it’s not as soft as it looks. I will break every bone in your body with my ass, and I will make you feel it.”

He looked insulted, but then saw the size of the moat that I had drawn with my toes. It would have taken a squad of 25 men an hour to dig a ditch of a similar size. He appeared torn with himself, face turning redder than ever.

“Go on then, sit on me, you overgrown bitch!”

I was confused at this behavior at first, but then I looked over at the rest of the officers and the “emperor” in the ruins of the tent. They all clapped and cheered, and that confused me even more.

“You guys want me to sit on him?”

“Hell yeah, this guy’s an idiot!”
“He rapes the female soldiers on the frontlines, its time that he got a proper ride.”
“Show him that booty!”
“Crush that piece of scum! Abusing all of our daughters for the past decade and we were powerless to stop him!”
“May I also add,” the emperor decided to speak again, and the color returned to his face, “that he forced me to come at gunpoint. I would have executed him already. But he has led a coup and the military was on his side. Would you kindly help our government regain control of the country?”

I looked back at the loney officer on the mound.

“Are you really a rapist, an abuser, a terrorist, and an absolute asshole?”

“If you put it that way… yes…”

He started to draw his pistol out of his hollister. I quickly flicked it away with my finger, but this also unfortunately dislocated his right arm. It was bent at an unnatural position, and it was clear that he was in pain from it.

I would have let him just keep firing at me, to be perfectly honest. It was a bit entertaining to watch the tiny people try and hurt me. It’s really only going to be nature that can hurt me the most now.

“Like I said, it will be slow, and you will feel every bone break in your body.”

He tried to scamper away, but the moat did its job. I first felt the top of the mound of dirt on my ass, then a small body that was unmistakingly already starting to crack under what felt like a finger’s weight on top of it. He started squirming, flailing his 3 remaining limbs in all directions as I slowly increased the amount of pressure on his body. His other arm had slowly stopped moving, while the legs took a bit more pressure to halt. I reminded myself that while this was the same amount of force required to flip a page in my diary, it was still a massive amount of weight to the tiny people. A small crack had issued from the dying man. I would have to assume that one of his ribs just cracked. A little while later, a minute amount of air was blown onto my ass. His lungs had collapsed under the weight of my butt. And I was still barely putting any weight onto my ass.

The emperor and the other officials came closer and started cheering after every crack. Eventually one officer ran over to my thigh and attempted to lift it. 

“What the hell are you doing?” I lost concentration, and in that short period of confusion, my left hand slipped on the slippery mud, and all of my weight fell on the officer. Gore sprayed out from under my butt onto the officers. The emperor dove for cover and narrow avoided being covered in blood and crushed body parts. “Aww, hell. Sorry guys. I didn’t mean for… that… to happen…”

“I convert to giantessism! I am willing to sacrifice myself to your majestic body! Crush me, mighty one! I am not worthy of your presence!” The man kept pushing against my thigh to no effect. In fact, if he wasn’t screaming, I would not have noticed him at all.

Here we go again.

“I am not a goddess. My name is Katie.”