Eli shut the door to his room and headed straight for his closet. He turned on the fluorescent light, stepped inside and closed the door before slumping against the foam-covered walls. The mic hanging from the ceiling taunted him. He’d have to lower it slightly if he used it again. Not that he ever would. Not since Zoey...

Negative thinking didn’t suit his personality, but the situation couldn't get any worse. Shrinking didn’t always happen fast (cases taking over a year had been documented), but the end result was always the same: he’d end up the size of the action figures he played with as a kid. G.I. Joe. About the only thing his dad had ever given him, probably because he forgot to take the collection when he bailed to California a decade ago.

Eli pulled out his phone, an Android with a cracked screen and a missing power button. He swiped open his notifications and read through his latest messages:

Carter (April 14 8:02 pm) - dude it not that bad. give me a call

Carter (April 15 3:35 pm) - i checked. shes ur age and hot AF. shrunk last year. homeschooled.

Eli (3:37 pm) - i said i’m not interested

Carter (3:44 pm) - heres a pic

Eli (3:45 pm) - NOT INTERESTED

Carter (3:46 pm) - don’t be a wuss. stop acting like your life is over.

Carter (4:49 pm) - her name is haley and her number is 555-1239. You can thank me later bro

Carter (5:30 pm) - did you call her?

Carter (5:51 pm) - seriously? Silent treatment now? I’m going to kick your ass if you ignore me all weekend. You’re already an inch shorter so it should be hella easy

Carter (6:04) - dude. that was a joke

Carter (6:22) - dick pic incoming if you don’t respond

Carter (6:25) - dead serious. Pubes and all

Carter (6:28) - even the part where i shaved your name into my hairy balls

Eli laughed at the last one. Carter was an asshole but he was also his best friend. Or at least he used to be. He went off to high school and they hadn’t spent nearly as much time together, especially after their ‘band’ broke up. It was never really a ‘band’ since they’d never played a gig, but it was fun.

Eli responded: i actually want to see that

He tossed his phone to the other side of the closet where it thunked softly against the soundproofing. Tapping the back of his head against the foam, he worked through the options in his mind.

Plan A. Make it into Premoria and live a normal life, or at least as close to normal as he could get at this point. He’d be able to attend high school and college with teenagers his size, and eventually get a job and get married. He didn’t want marriage anytime soon but eventually. Probably.

Plan B. Fail to raise enough money and live in a shoebox under his sister’s bed. Perhaps they’d upgrade him to a dollhouse. He’d take classes online. Alone. In college, instead of partying, he’d spend evenings sifting through profiles on Premium Encounters, the number one dating app for premies — the informal way of referring to those affected by the shrink gene. Then he’d beg one of his sister’s to drive him so he could meet his date. This conjured the image of a tea party with Winter’s billboard face, smiling in the background.

Plan C… Don’t think about Plan C. Heck, he shouldn’t have to think about ANY of these plans.

He’d skipped school the last two days and had spent the time researching how people coped with the disease, and this was the best he could find. Virtually nothing good. Only one upside — Mom might not care as much when she found out he was failing half his classes. After all, why should he care about school anymore?

His phone buzzed. He reached over, picked it up, and Carter’s voice filled his ear. “I always knew you were gay.”

“Yup.” Eli lacked the energy to think of a witty comeback. “You got me.”

“Dude. You sound like you’re dying. I’m seriously going to drive down there and kick your ass.”

“You can’t drive.”

“I’ve got a permit bro. And my sister owes me big time.”

“Must be nice to have a permit.” Driving. Add that to the list of things he’d never be able to do.

“You’re fourteen now.” Carter spoke before thinking as usual. “Oh wait…”

“Yeah.”

“Who cares.” Carter didn’t hesitate. “It could be months before you shrink again. Just go take the test and start driving while you still can.”

“There are so many problems with that statement.”

“There are so many pieces of sand in your vagina.”

“Original. And it’s grains of sand not pieces of sand.” Eli changed the subject. “Why does she owe you?”

“Who?”

“Your sister. You said she owes you big time.”

“Because I caught her smoking marijuana last week. And. Well you know how blackmail works.”

“Did you smoke any?”

“No, I don’t want that shit. Ruins your life. I told her that too.”

“Can you bring me some?”

“Dude, what’s wrong with you?” Carter bumped his voice an octave. “Oh noooo. I’ve got the shrink gene. My sister threatened to dress me up in Barbie clothes. I’ll never go to high school. I’ll never get laid.”

“I never said that last part.”

“Well. It’s true. You probably won’t ever get laid. But it’s because you have zero confidence in yourself. And now you’re throwing the world’s biggest pity party on top of it.

“You think you’ve got it bad? My Mom’s sister died last summer from brain cancer. Now that’s messed up. She was fine until”—he paused—“I ain’t gonna talk about it. Just remember: it ain’t brain cancer, so stop crying.”

“Sorry…”

“Hey man. I didn’t say it to bring you down.” He sighed. “I’m just giving you a hard time because you’re my best friend. I haven’t been around as much lately, and I apologize. My life’s just been...crazy. But I’ve got your back. You know that right? I don’t care if you’re only three inches tall or whatever. Which, by the way, did you even LOOK at the picture of Haley?”

“Yeah.”

“Annnnddd?”

Eli paused, smiling a bit. “She’s cute.”

“That’s my boy! You sing her that song you wrote and she’ll jump your bones faster than you can blink.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Wait till high school, man. It’s all about sex over here. Everyone talks like they’re gettin’ some but most of ‘em are lyin’. Unless they got mad skills like I do. Hell, if I also had your voice, I’d be up to my eyeballs in —”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Ok. Ok. I forgot you’re saving yourself. But that doesn't mean you can’t at least date or talk to girls. I won’t bring it up again, but keep Haley in mind. I’ve talked to her before on Facebook. She’s really chill. Plays the piano too, which reminds me, I’m coming over tomorrow so get ready to jam out.”

“Really?” Part of Eli wanted to protest or make any number of excuses, but another part, the old him, perked up a bit.

“You bet. Start practicing because I got a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see. Laters bro.”