Eli couldn’t ask for a worse day. No sooner had the movie ended than he’d begun to shrink again. Luckily his mom had just arrived home, and had comforted him through the worst of it.

“It’s happening too fast, Mom. I can’t do this. I can’t — “ He hiccup-cried against his mom’s scrubs, not caring if they smelled like antiseptic.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Sitting on her bed, she held him tight against her chest and ran a warm hand up his back. “I’ll speak with your pediatrician. Maybe there’s something she can do.”

“Really?” Sniffling, he looked up into her sympathetic face.

“Honestly honey”—she hesitated as if preparing to deliver bad news—“there’s not a way to stop it. But, she might be able to slow it down, or give you something to help with the dysphoria.”

“I — I feel like I’m losing my mind.” His entire hand didn’t even fill his mom’s palm. She closed her fingers over top and rubbed his little forearm with her thumb.

“It’s temporary. You know that right? Once you get below a certain height, the dysphoria will go away.”

He wiped his face on her uniform. “I know, but at school, they’ll tease me.”

“I spoke with the principle today. While you’re transitioning, you’re allowed to skip as many days as you want. If you don’t feel like going, I’ll find someone to keep an eye on you at home.”

“I don’t want a babysitter!”

“Did I say babysitter?”

He shook his head.

“She’d be a caregiver. A nurse like me. That wouldn’t be so bad now would it?”

“I guess not. I don’t know. It’s just — “

A knock at the door and Winter’s insistent voice rang out. “Can I come in now?”

“In a minute.” Mom turned back to him. “How have your sisters been treating you?”

“Ok I guess. We watched Frozen, and it was pretty good. But I’m not sure if I liked it for real, or because I feel like a kid again.”

Mom chuckled. “Well, I liked it. Being an adult doesn’t always mean forgetting your childhood. I remember when you were three. You got an Etch A Sketch for your birthday, and I ended up playing with it more than you. I revisited that part of my youth. Having children is a blessing in so many ways. You’ll see one day.”

“Will I?” he asked.

“Yes. You will. Premies can have children, and let me tell you, they’re some of the cutest people on the planet.”

“What if”—he couldn’t put his finger on why, but knew this question was important—“what if I marry a normal person?”

“Well, you’re a bit young to be thinking about marriage. But even if you married a normal person, you can adopt. There are plenty of children out there in need of a home.”

“What about nowwww?” Winter whined.

“He needs a change of clothes,” Mom said.

“I know!” Winter burst in. She mouthed, “Oh my”, letting her jaw hang open.

“Stop gawking and help your brother get dressed.” Mom ruffled Winter’s hair. “I‘ve gotta go heat dinner.”

Before he could protest, his mom left the room, leaving him alone with his awestruck sister. She approached, one step at a time, with a small stack of brightly colored fabric in her hand.

“I don’t need help.” He pulled down the bottom edge of his t-shirt, dismayed at how one shoulder stuck through the neck hole.

“Oh. My. Gosh. You’re just — ”

“I know. I’m cute. Just give me the clothes and leave so I can change please.”

“Mom said to help.” After depositing the clothing at the bed’s corner, she pulled off his socks and pinched his toes, wiggling them one by one. “Such little toes!”

He jerked his foot away. “Leave so I can get dressed.”

Her squee face melted into a pout. “Why can’t I help? I never get to watch you shrink or do anything. I’ve been nice all day, and you won't even — ”

“Fine.” She had been nice to him. Heaven knew why this meant so much to her but he’d toss her a bone. “You can help with my socks.”

“And your shirt and pants.”

“Socks and shirt. Final offer. Take it or leave it.”

“Or what?” Her big face loomed in front of him, smirk sneaking across her lips.

“Or”—he hesitated, then said with finality—“I won’t play with you anymore.”

She considered the offer. It wasn’t really a barter situation, was it? After all, she had to obey him, didn’t she?

“Fiiiiine,” she said. “But only if I get to carry you to dinner.”

“Ok. Whatever. Just leave so I can get my pants on.” He still wore his gray sweats, but they’d likely fall as soon as he stood up.

“Nope. Socks first.” She took hold of his leg, easily enclosing his entire calf in her hand, and swiveled him toward her. “So cute I could just eat them.” She lifted his foot higher and chomped her teeth, lowering her mouth to his toes for added effect. He jerked his foot, but she held it fast.

“Hurry up,” he said.

“Ok, ok.” Still smiling, she pulled the socks over his feet. Little brown footballs adorned them. Apparently everything for kids needed a repeating image of some sort, but at least it wasn’t hearts or flowers or something equally girlish.

“Now leave please.”

“Here.” She armpit lifted from the bed to the floor as if he weighed no more than a small dog, then handed him monster truck briefs and pajama bottoms decorated with cartoonish sheriff badges.

“Turn around.” He didn’t dare look up, opting instead to stare at the sailboat logo on her purple shirt.

“I can’t see anything,” she said. “You’re shirt goes down to your knees.”

He took the clothes and moved to the other side of the bed, stepping out of his fallen pants as he walked. Winter huffed but didn't follow. Rising to his chest, the bed itself offered ample privacy.

“I picked them from the three foot pile. If they’re too small, just let me know.” She rounded the corner just as he snapped the pajama bottoms in place.

“They’re fine.” They were perhaps an inch too short, but they were comfy.

“Now for your shirt. Arms up.”

He rolled his eyes, and lifted his arms. The new shirt rivaled his old one in childishness. More colorful than a rainbow, it sported a Paw Patrol logo with all four canine members, one in each quadrant of the shirt’s front.

“This was all you could find?”

“It looks adorable on you.” She dropped to her knees and straightened it out. “Plus it’s got long sleeves, so you won’t get cold.”

“I’m not cold.”

“Oh?” Her eyes narrowed. “Is that why you were under the blanket for the entire movie?”

“Well, that’s because — “

“Ohmigosh, you’re just so cute I can’t stand it.” She lifted him into the air, then tackled him onto the bed. Her fingers tickled him, alternately attacking stomach, armpits and feet — a rotation of torture he was helpless to stop.

“Stop it, Winter!” He batted her hands, but she retaliated by grabbing both of his in one of hers and pinning them over his head. She continued her assault with her free hand.

“Or what?” she asked through her giggles. “You’re going to pee? Just like you did to me the other day.”

“Ok, I’m sorry!” “Please stop. I do —.” He could barely get any words out through his own agonizing laughter.

“You’ll do?” Her fingers twitched in the air like a spider hanging from a thread, waiting to descend once more upon its prey.

He tugged at his fleshy bindings to no avail. “I’ll do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”

“Hmm, the day’s almost over.”

“Fine. Tomorrow too. When you get home from school.”

“Even gymnastics?”

“Yes, gymnastics. Whatever. Just don’t expect me to be any good at it.”

“I just want you to watch, silly.”

“Oh. I can do that.”

“Pinkie swear?”

“I’m kinda tied up here.”

“Oh yeh.” She released his hands, giggling.

They completed a pinky swear, an odd sensation with her large digit overshadowing his. She noticed it too and held on as long as possible, forcing him to wring his finger from her grip.

“Dinner!” Mom yelled from the kitchen.

***

As promised, Winter carried Eli piggyback all the way to the kitchen. He weighed less than her backpack, his little thighs no bigger than Pringles cans. She’d always been the smallest in class and at home. Having someone else less capable than her, her own brother no less, was turning out to be fantastic.

The way she’d overpowered him had filled her stomach with cheerful butterflies. Not because she wanted revenge for all the times he’d tickled her (though it was a nice bonus), but for another reason she couldn’t quite identify. She simply liked this smaller version of Eli. It reminded her of the old Eli, the one who used to play with her every day, the brother she’d somehow lost when he’d become a teenager.

Even as they pinky swore, she realized it wasn’t necessary. Tomorrow, if he refused or forgot about his promise, she’d simply tickle him into submission again. Eventually, as his condition progressed, she’d just carry him wherever she wanted. The thought appealed to her even though she knew it to be wrong. Hopefully, she’d never do that. After all, if he went to Premoria, he might never let her visit if she mistreated him.

Why did Premoria have to exist? She hated the idea of him leaving and would rather he’d not shrink at all if it meant he’d stay at home.

“He has two legs ya know.” Seated at the kitchen table, Ally pointed her meatloaf-laden fork accusingly.

“He said I could carry him, right Eli?”

“Just put me down, please,” he said.

“Oh, ok.” Reluctantly, she bent her knees and allowed him to disembark. He climbed into the chair and faced off with a steaming tray of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Literally, his face was level with his food.

“Mom, can Eli sit in my lap?” Winter asked. “He’s way too short.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Mom pulled the final tray from the microwave and delivered it to the table. “You are going to need something, now aren’t you?”

“I’m fine,” Eli said. He made an awkward stab at his food.

“Easy.” Ally unzipped her backpack, and produced a couple of thick textbooks. “Lift him up.” Winter lifted him while Ally slid the books underneath, giving him another few inches above the table’s edge.

“Good idea,” Mom said. “I’ll get some steps and booster seats on the way home tomorrow. You kids eat up. I’m going to take a shower.” She departed for the bathroom.

They ate in silence. Ally cast glances at Eli, but he didn’t notice. He seemed intent on moving food into his mouth without dropping it. It would be so much easier if Winter fed him. The urge to do so nearly overwhelmed her. Had Negative Nancy not been seated at the opposite end of the table, she would’ve done just that.

“YouTube tomorrow, Eli.” Ally finished her last bite and tossed the tray into the trash.

“What if he doesn’t want to,” Winter said.

“We already skipped an entire day. He shrank twice since the last episode. Fans need an update.”

“Oh yeh? Like how you got mad and sp — “

“Winter!” Ally grabbed Winter’s arm and dragged her into the hallway. “Don’t remind him of the spanking please.”

“Why not? Afraid he’ll tell Mom?”

“I already told Mom. I just don’t want him to remember, at least not yet. It would be hard on him.”

“Hmmm. What do I get in exchange for keeping quiet?”

“Nothing.” Ally halted Winter’s defiant march back to the kitchen with a tug on her arm. “What do you want?”

“How about...you don’t stop me when I play with Eli. That includes piggyback rides or anything else.”

“Deal,” Ally said. “So long as you have his permission.”

“Deal!”

They returned to the kitchen to find Eli climbing down from his elevated chair.

“You didn’t even eat half your food,” Winter said.

“I’m full. And tired.” He squeezed between them and padded off to his bedroom.

“You can’t expect him to eat a full sized portion anymore.” Ally covered the top of the tray with plastic wrap and placed it in the fridge.

“I know.” Winter dug a sugar cookie from the Ziplock bag on the counter. “I just figured he’d eat more.” He would’ve eaten more if she were feeding him.

They headed to their separate rooms. Winter plopped onto her bed and finished off the cookie, attention drawn to her closed bathroom door. What was he doing in there?

Something clattered. She ventured to the door and knocked. “You ok?”

The toilet flushed. Well, at least she knew what he was doing. She remained at the door, waiting for him to exit. When he didn’t she repeated her question. “Eli, you ok?”

“I can’t find my toothbrush,” he said.

“I’m coming in, ok?” After getting no response, she peeked in. He stood on the closed toilet lid, his body spanning the distance between it and the vanity countertop.

“Oh my goodness.” She rushed in and lifted him to the floor. “Just ask if you need help. I’m right here.”

“I don't need help in the bathroom.” He twisted away from her.

“Clearly you do. You can’t climb everywhere. What if you’d fallen?” She opened the medicine cabinet and retrieved the toothbrushes and toothpaste. She handed him his toothbrush.

He snatched it away. “If you guys would put stuff a bit lower, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“And then what? Put it lower when you shrink again? And lower and — ”

Leaning over the counter, he reached for the faucet, coming a little short. She smirked, then turned it on for him. She put toothpaste on the ends of both their brushes, and got to the business of cleaning her teeth. He did the same, but glared at her in the mirror, chipmunk cheeks poking out with the movements of his brush.

Feeling a giggle, she choked on some toothpaste and snapped her lips shut to avoid spewing it everywhere. Some of it did escape, however, and landed on his head. She wiped it off and he ducked away, glaring even harder now. She spit in the sink and let her laughter erupt.

“I’m sorry.” She rinsed her brush. “We need to get you a smaller toothbrush.”

She lifted him so he could spit and held him while he rinsed his own brush. She then set him on the counter and gave her best stern expression. “Now promise me you’ll ask for help in the future.”

“I’m not a kid, Winter.” He tried to squirm away. “And I’m tired.”

“I know,” she said, confused. He should be acting younger since he just shrank, but if anything, he seemed back to his old grumpy self. “I’m just trying to help.”

“And I appreciate it.” He hopped down and went to his bed, then climbed in.

She turned off the bathroom light and slid under the covers of her own bed.

“Eli, will you read me a bedtime story?” She looked directly across at him.

“No.” He rolled over, facing the other side. “Goodnight, Winter.”

“You always used to read to me before bed,” she said, wistfully.

After a few seconds, he sat up. “One chapter, and it has to be short.”

She plucked her latest book from the nightstand, then positioned her pillow upright. “Over here.” She patted her bed. Within moments they were sitting together, using her pillow as a backrest.

“Zombie Diaries?” he said, turning the book over in his hands.

“It’s really good. Let’s jump to chapter five.”

He flipped the pages to the fifth chapter and began reading. “Hilm slid the h — heavy lid of the s — s — “

“Sarcophagus.” She’d had to look up the word herself yesterday.

“Sarcophagus,” he continued. “To the side, rev — rev — “

“Revealing,” she said.

Eli stumbled along, reading slower and slower. Increasingly simple words like ‘torch’ and ‘blood’, required her assistance. Toward the end of the first page, he struggled with every word, including ‘the’ and ‘she’.

“This book is too…” He closed it on her fingers.

“How about I read, and you listen?” She reopened it to the proper page.

“Fine.” He crossed his arms.

She read aloud, paragraph after paragraph, but her mind was elsewhere. Easy tasks had become so difficult for him, and it would only get worse. He needed her, and his need fueled those blazing butterflies in her stomach. This was the feeling — to be needed by her brother.

She reveled in it.

He leaned against her, and her attention returned to reality. He didn’t appear to be sleepy, but rather...scared. She changed the tempo of her voice, making it sound spookier as the protagonist descended into the tomb. She was rewarded when she felt his little hand wrap around her thumb. She freed herself from his grip in order to pull him into a cuddle. He gripped her thumb again, and she continued reading.

By the time she finished the chapter, his hold on her thumb had all but cut off circulation.

“Wanna read another?” she asked.

“No.” His head shook against her chest.

“Ok. Bedtime then.” In addition to frightening him, storytime appeared to regress him. “Wanna sleep in my bed?”

“No.” He released her thumb and hopped to the ground.

Shoot. She’d pushed him too far. Still, even after he climbed under his own covers, he looked positively terrified, his eyes blinking, fixed on the light. It wouldn’t take much…

“Ok.” She put her pillow back in place and lay down facing him. “But if you hear the zombie under your bed, remember to stay very still and quiet. It won’t bother you if you don't make a sound.”

“W — whatever.”

She reached over and turned off the light, scraping her fingernails once across the nightstand. Then, she waited.

Within seconds, she heard his feet hit the floor and felt a tug at her sheets. She smiled and lifted the covers to let him in. They could easily sleep side by side in her twin bed, neither taking up much space.

“There’s no such thing as zombies,” he whispered. “Right?”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” she whispered back, creepily. Then she gave him a light kiss on the side of his head. “But you’ll be safe here.”