I feel kind of happy at having taken the bull by the horns. This is something I did not do too well back when I first grew. I kind of assumed that people would realize that I was a goddess and that I was meant to be their ruler, but I was not too explicit about it. My bad!

I’m doing it better this time. Tiny people need simple messages. Clear instructions. They need the consequences of not following them clearly spelled out. It’s easy enough, so I’m determined to do it.

This brings me to my next point. I have some fifty thousand kneeling worshippers in front of me and a couple of dozen news crews. It’s time for them to serve their purpose.

“OK, YOU GUYS OF THE PRESS,” I say. I have to suppress a chuckle when I zoom into them and see just how jumpy my casual reference has made them. “ARE THOSE CAMERAS ON? GET A SEXY SHOT!” I say.

Just to tease them, I run my fingers through my long hair. I then adjust my boobs and smile for the cameras, blowing them an imaginary kiss with my full wet lips.

“OK, LISTEN UP!” I start.

I smile cutely for the cameras once again and get ready for my speech.

“HELLO AGAIN, MY LOVELY TINY PEOPLE. I’M TALKING TO ALL OF YOU IN KINSTON BUT ALSO TO THE BILLIONS WATCHING FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. I KNOW YOU GUYS CAN’T TAKE YOUR EYES OFF MY SEXY BOD!” I say with a chortle as I run my hands around my full breasts.

“I’M THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD, SO I GUESS THAT INTRODUCING MYSELF AGAIN IS KIND OF POINTLESS. JUST AS A REMINDER, LET ME DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT I’M A GIANT, I HAVE SUPERPOWERS, AND I CAN’T BE HURT BY ANY OF YOUR WEAPONS. I KNOW YOU ALL REMEMBER ME WALKING AROUND AT TEN MILES IN HEIGHT, FLATTENING CITIES IN ONE STOMP OR VAPORIZING THEM WITH A WINK. AND WELL… KILLING BILLIONS IN A MORNING!”

I notice that the mob at my feet dislikes my casual reference to genocide. I can only imagine that the same reaction must be taking place in every living room around the world, watching me through their TVs. I could not care less. And I’m eager to let them know.

“JUST SO THERE ARE NO DOUBTS ABOUT ME HAVING SOFTENED UP, LET ME TELL YOU THAT I’M READY TO DO THAT AGAIN IF NEEDED. HOPEFULLY, IT WON’T HAVE TO COME TO THAT. I’LL BE THE FIRST ONE TO ADMIT THAT MY LAST DAY AMONG YOU WAS A BIT OVER THE TOP. I MEAN, I COULD NOT MIND KILLING YOU GUYS LESS, BUT AT THE RATE I GOT TO, I WOULD HAVE RUN OUT OF SUBJECTS TO RULE IN FORTY-EIGHT HOURS!”

I let out a girly giggle that no one but me seems to fancy. It’s OK, of course, since…well… the only opinion that matters is mine.

“SO, I’M BACK, AND WHILE MY END GOALS ARE ABOUT THE SAME AS THE LAST TIME I WAS AROUND, I’VE HAD THE CHANCE TO REFLECT ON WHAT WORKED WELL AND WHAT HAD… ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT. I’M CONSIDERING A DIFFERENT APPROACH THIS TIME, AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FAIR TO SHARE THAT WITH YOU!”

I’m still the only one with something resembling some cheerfulness in the entire city, which, once more, is perfectly fine.

“HERE I GO! FIRST THINGS FIRST, ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE FUN AND RULE OVER THE WORLD. IN THAT ORDER. SIMPLE, RIGHT? THIS WILL UNAVOIDABLY END UP IN QUITE A BIT OF DESTRUCTION AND…ER… LOSS OF LIFE. I KNOW YOU’LL END UP TRYING SOMETHING BUT… EVEN IF YOU DON’T, THERE’S THE LITTLE FACT THAT IT’S HARD TO MOVE AROUND AT THIS SIZE WITHOUT WRECKING SOME STUFF. BESIDES, IT’S FUN!”

In case they had had any hopes, they should all be gone by now. There’s nothing wrong in reinforcing the message, though.

“SO, YEAH…I’LL PROBABLY CRUSH A LOT OF YOU. BUT, AND HERE’S WHAT’S DIFFERENT, I’LL TAKE IT EASY THIS TIME!”

I don’t think they share my interpretation of benevolence. I guess a few hundred feet can really change your point of view.

“THE OTHER THING THAT’LL CHANGE IS THAT I DECIDED THAT I’M GOING TO TAKE THINGS STEP BY STEP. AND, WHERE’S WHERE YOU GUYS IN KINSTON ARE IN FOR THE REAL TREAT: I DECIDED TO SPEND SOME TIME IN HERE, PRACTICE MY LEADERSHIP SKILLS AND SHAPE THE CITY TO MY LIKING BEFORE I MOVE ON TO BIGGER GOALS. SO, CHEER UP! YOU’RE GONNA BE SEEING A WHOLE LOT OF ME! AND I HAVE HALF A MIND OF MAKING THIS MY CAPITAL ONCE I EXPAND MY HORIZONS!”

In case you have any doubts, I am really not expecting them to cheer up. These last few days living among the people have calibrated me somewhat more about what they feel about being ruled by a giant 22-year-old with, let’s admit it, not a lot of empathy. What can I say? I never was the most likable person around, and hey! It’s hard to feel empathy for someone the size of a worm!

Anyway, enough with my derailing. I’m not planning to spell out everything I have in mind right now. It’s not as if I have so much in mind to start with. It’s not as if I planned this carefully. But I guess I should leave them with a couple of things to keep in mind.

“OK, ENOUGH WITH THE INTRODUCTION. LET’S CUT TO THE CHASE, SHALL WE? EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, I’M THE CITY’S GODDESS. I’LL FILL YOU IN WITH THE DETAILS AS I GO, BUT ESSENTIALLY THIS MEANS THAT YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY. I EXPECT THE MAYOR TO WAIT FOR ME ON THE ROOF OF THE CITY HALL IN FIVE MINUTES FOR A PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF POWER. AS FOR THE REST OF YOU, MY FIRST TWO COMMANDS ARE AS FOLLOWS: FIRST, AN MOST IMPORTANT, FROM NOW ON, THIS CITY WILL BE NAMED VICKISBURG. SECOND, AND ALMOST AS IMPORTANT: I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO LEAVE VICKISBURG. AND BELIEVE ME, I’LL BE ENFORCING THAT!”

Without further word, I turn and face Pacific Avenue. The first five Vickisburgians ever disappear under my truck-sized right foot a moment later. They don’t feel any different than any of the hundreds I killed before I renamed the city. Half a dozen more become stains under my left foot as I resume my walk, strutting my humongous sexiness down the road, heading for the city hall.

A minute later, I have about five hundred fewer subjects, courtesy of my killer feet, but I’m a happier girl, so I guess that they were a fair price to pay. I know you probably see things differently, but… who cares?

I have to fight hard to suppress loud laughter when the mayor is effectively waiting for me on the roof of the City Hall building, waving a white flag as I approach. It saves me a decision, as I had doubts about what to do if he had not obeyed my order. I have to admit that the thought of going Independence Day and laser the entire thing down crossed my head, but it would feel a bit too extreme now. I’ll have to save that one for another building.

I take great pleasure in the man’s discomfort as I approach the City Hall slowly, making the neighborhood shake with my sensuousness, not stopping until I’m barely a step away from trampling the structure. He’s about level with my knee by that time, looking up in desperation, meeting my eye as I peek over my boobs.

In a well-rehearsed routine of my glamour model days, I lower myself, letting my picture-perfect figure roll in front of him before sitting on my knees and stopping, my hot breath washing over him as I bring my face right over his position. To the man’s credit, he’s scared shitless but still holds his ground.

“HI THERE, MAYOR!” I chirp.

I don’t think a gorgeous girl ever made a man like him so uncomfortable.

“I’M HAPPY THAT YOU DECIDED TO FOLLOW MY COMMANDS. IT’S AN ENCOURAGING START!” I continue with a cheerful tone.

Just then, I extend a palm the size of a ballroom right next to the spot in the roof where the tiny man is standing.

“CLIMB!” I say casually.

I was wrong before: he could look MORE uncomfortable. At last, the tiny man decides to speak, his mousy voice making me even cheerier.

“Can’t we do it like this?” he inquires.

I broaden my smile, which he wrongfully interprets as a good sign since he seems to relax. My tone does not follow my expression; I’m much sharper as I reply to him:

“AND WE HAD STARTED SO WELL…DID YOU, BY ANY CHANCE, TAKE ME FOR SOME CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE OR SOMETHING? I AM A GOD. I GIVE ORDERS. NOW, CLIMB INTO MY FUCKING HAND!”

He hesitates. It only takes me an arched eyebrow to get into motion. The man tickles as he clumsily jumps over the edge of the roof and into my ready palm. I don’t give him time to adjust before I raise back to my full height and bring him under my nose.

“THERE, THAT’S BETTER. AT LEAST YOU LEARN FAST,” I admonish, making sure that he gets the message.

“What can I do for you?” the man says in his trembling and squeaky voice.

I can’t hold it anymore and let out a loud burst of laughter.

“YOU LEARN FAST! I LIKE YOU!”

He looks at me with eyes wide open. I remember that I should give him some instructions. I have really not thought this part out too well (I was too focused on my doomsday laser scenario), so I improvise.

“MY OLDER SELF WOULD HAVE TOSSED YOU IN THE NEXT COUNTY ALREADY, BUT YOU ARE LUCKY! I’M A MORE MATURE ALL-POWERFUL GIANTESS NOW. SO, INSTEAD, I’LL OFFER YOU A JOB. I DECIDED TO RULE THIS CITY AND… WELL, YOU’LL RUN IT FOR ME.”

“What?” the man asks. “How?”

I smile.

“IT’S SIMPLE, REALLY. I’LL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO; YOU’LL MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS. IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS OR NEED TO MAKE ANY IMPORTANT DECISION, YOU’LL LET ME KNOW. I’LL EVALUATE YOUR PERFORMANCE EVERY DAY BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP. IF YOU DO WELL, YOU GET TO LIVE. IF YOU SCREW UP, I’LL SHOVE YOU UP MY ASS LIKE A SUPPOSITORY. DEAL?”

The man swallows hard. And then, he has the guts to ask me:

“What if I don’t like the deal?”

I roll out my eyes and reply casually:

“WELL, WE CAN ALWAYS SKIP ALL THE EVALUATION PART AND SHOVE YOU UP MY ASS RIGHT AWAY, I GUESS.”

He swallows hard again.

“Can I ask you to try and avoid to step on people?”

“NO, YOU CAN’T,” I disregard with a wave of my other hand.

“Can I ask you for actions that can be beneficial for the citizens of Kin…Vickisburg?”

I frown, then smile.

“I GUESS I CAN THROW YOU A BONE FROM TIME TO TIME.”

“Then I accept,” he says solemnly.

“OH, COME ON. YOU ARE STILL BREATHING, SO THAT WENT WITHOUT SAYING!”

Just then, I remember something.

“WAIT A SEC, WILL YOU? THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE I WANT YOU TO MEET.”

I reach for my bikini bottom with my free hand and search around, carefully scooping the three guys I stuffed in there. They are stickier than I thought they would be when I bring them under my face.

“OH, SORRY FOR THAT… IT HAD BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAD BEEN BIG, AND ALL THIS SUPERPOWERED GIANT STUFF IS… YOU KNOW… A MASSIVE TURN-ON!”

They don’t seem satisfied with the explanation, but I don’t give a shit. I simply empty them in the same palm as the Mayor and say:

“MAYOR SMITH, MEET YOUR NEW CITY COUNCIL. YOU CAN DISMISS THE PREVIOUS ONE. LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH THAT. IN ANY CASE, THESE TWO GIRLS AND ONE GUY HAVE SOME IDEAS I’D LIKE TO TRY IN VICKISBURG. SEE THAT THEY HAVE WHAT THEY NEED. I’LL WANT DAILY UPDATES ON PROGRESS.”

With that, I crouch and drop my four guests, now working for me, on the same roof where I picked up the Mayor. I stand back up and wave at them with my right hand:

“GET TO WORK. I’LL COME BY LATER, SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING.”

“Where are you going?” the Mayor asks.

“OH, I’M PRETTY SURE THAT EVERYONE GOT MY SECOND COMMAND AND NO ONE IS TRYING TO GET AWAY OF VICKISBURG, BUT, YOU KNOW… JUST IN CASE!”