DC

The trip along the coast has been shorter than I expected. And this is even considering that I stopped a couple of times to eat and play. I’m beginning to wonder if the world will not be just too small for me. I mean… This morning I’ve already walked across and along the country, and both times it has taken a matter of minutes. If this is the pace at which everything will happen at this size, then the world will become boring sooner rather than later.

I wonder, once more, if I’m not just a bit too big, but a quick look down at the former capital of the nation convinces me otherwise. I love being able to look at cities as if they were just satellite imagery, and I love for people to be microscopic to me. I love the idea that I must look like the ultimate goddess to them, standing there, filling their horizon. I know I can always shrink, but I also know that I like many of the things I can do at this size. And the fact that the microscopic fuckers actually want to see me smaller is reason enough to stay like this for a while.

I turn to face the city… even if I’m actually standing in open waters and the states of Delaware and Maryland stand between me and my objective. I don’t care. I know I can be seen. And I know I can cover those sorry excuses of states in barely a few steps. So, I ignore them and the millions of people living in them and I face the object of my attention, placing my hands on my hips and focusing on looking the sexiest yet.

It’s good that Washington has so many landmarks. I can recognize them, even if they now look tiny to me. Otherwise, it would have been harder to identify it from my new vantage point of view. To me, one city looks pretty much the same as any other right now.

“HELLO, MICROSCOPIC PEOPLE OF WASHINGTON!” I say cheerfully. “IT WAS PAST DUE THAT I PAID YOU A VISIT” I add.

There are so many things I want to do in this city, but for once I decide to be responsible and to focus on work first and pleasure later. It’s easy, since work is a pleasure ever since I started growing.

“AS YOU’LL FOR SURE KNOW, MY NAME IS VIKI AND I’M YOUR NEW GODDESS. THIS MEANS THAT YOU, ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD, BELONG TO ME NOW. AND I JUST NAMED VEGAS AS MY NEW CAPITAL, WHICH MEANS THAT I WILL NEED TO FIND A NEW STATUS FOR YOU. BUT DON’T WORRY, WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER. THERE ARE A COUPLE OF THINGS I NEED TO DO FIRST”

I spy a number of specs in the air as I focus my eyes in the skies above the city. I realize that they are planes trying to flee from me. They are so pathetic. I don’t even mind them, but out of custom I just push my lips out and blow a soft but steady gust of wind in their direction. They are all sent meandering around the sky, crashing in different spots of the city and the countryside, the fireballs that they cause when doing so way more noticeable than the planes were before exploding.

I don’t even think it necessary to provide any explanation about what I did what I just did. I guess it’s just what can be expected of me, isn’t it?

“PAUL, ARE YOU THERE?” I ask aloud.

The answer comes soon to my ear.

“Why did you need to do that?” he asks.

I’m taken by surprise.

“WHAT? THE PLANES?” I ask. I realize that it is the only possible explanation, so I go on: “HAVEN’T YOU GUYS REALIZED YET THAT I DON’T LIKE PEOPLE TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM ME?”

“These were innocent civilians” Paul complains in my ear, sounding angry. I could not care less about his state of mind. It’s one of the consequences of being immune to everything.

“AS IF I CARED” I say, shrugging for people in five different states to see. “FROM UP HERE ONE MICROBE LOOKS PRETTY MUCH LIKE ANOTHER” I add, knowing that this will add to his anger.

“What do you want?” Paul asks, and I imagine his teeth clenched as he does.

“I WANT TO HAVE A FACE TO FACE” I say, as if that was the most logical thing in the world. Then, I extend my palm and say: “COME UP AND LAND HERE. IT WILL BE EASIER THAN ME LOOKING FOR YOU” I add with a chuckle.

There are a few seconds of silence. Then, the radio cracks and I hear Paul’s voice once more. There is a background rotor sound.

“Ok, I’m already in the helicopter” he says.

“I CAN’T SEE YOU” I reply, narrowing my eyes and forcing my sight to try to find the spec that’s transporting Paul to my hand.

After a few seconds there are a couple of faint flashes.

“We are using our signaling light” Paul says.

I smile.

“YEP, I CAN SEE YOU NOW”

A few seconds pass and the flashing light does not seem to have moved too much.

“I’M WAITING” I say impatiently.

“We’re moving as fast as we can!” the secretary of whatever he is replies, sounding frustrated.

“OH GOD, YOU ARE PUNIER THAN I THOUGHT” I reply, also frustrated, but for another reason.

I wait some more, my palm still extended.

The radio comes back.

“Ah… Victoria?” Paul’s voice says.

“WHAT NOW?” I reply.

“The pilot is telling me that your palm is beyond the helicopter’s operational ceiling” he says.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” I ask.

“It’s way too high” the voice comes back.

I get frustrated first and chuckle later. Really?

“YOU CAN’T REACH IT? REALLY?” I ask, surprised.

“We need for you to come down” Paul says. He does not sound happy, so I realize that he is not fucking up with me.

“HOW MUCH?” I honestly ask.

“To…to about one third of your current height” he says.

“NO WAY! YOU GUYS CANNOT EVEN FLY HIGHER THAN MY CROTCH?” I ask.

“Please” the Secretary’s voice comes back.

Since he asked nicely… and since I really want to hold him in my palm, I decide to give them a hand. Without further word I start kneeling and then I stoop forward and bring my open palm even closer to where the tiny spec is flying. I know that the entire movement has been quite the show for the people in the area.

“EASIER?” I ask

“Yes… yes. Thanks…” his voice comes back. He sounds mesmerized now.

It’s almost painful to wait for the chopper to complete its approach to my palm. I instruct it to land in the center of it which, believe it or not, adds a couple more minutes to its flight. This is the magnitude of my dimensions. When I think that it’s safely landed (since there’s no way I can feel it through my skin) I ask:

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

A couple of seconds pass. Then, Paul’s voice comes back:

“Yes… yes”

“OK THEN” I say and I proceed to stand up again.

I hear some shrieks through my earpiece and narrow my eyes in surprise.

“WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE?” I ask

There is no reply. I start to get concerned. I ask again. And again, there is no reply. I narrow my eyes, trying to get as much detail as I can on the tiny chopper in my palm, but it’s hard to make out anything weird. After a couple of minutes, an anguished voice comes back into my earpiece.

“The… the change of pressure… it was too brutal… two men died” Paul says.

It takes me a couple of seconds to process it. When I do I cannot prevent letting a very loud laugh out.

“REALLY? ARE YOU REALLY SO PUNY?”

He does not take it well.

“They died” he protests

“DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I CARE ABOUT JUST TWO PEOPLE?” I ask, as if it should have been obvious.

I feel him eating his next words.

“ANYWAY, I’M HAPPY THAT WE CAN FINALLY MEET, EVEN IF IT’S TOUGH TO SEE YOU EVEN FROM UP CLOSE” I say.

“What do you want?” the man finally says.

That’s a good question. What do I want? The truth is that there’s nothing I want that I cannot get by myself… then an idea comes.

“OK… I WANT THE PRESIDENT TO COME UP HERE WITH YOU AND ADDRESS THE NATION. I WANT HIM TO SURRENDER THE UNITED STATES TO ME” I say.

“You are crazy” Paul says.

It makes me mad. Who does he think he is, addressing me like this? I have to exercise a lot of self-control not to crush him into my fist.

“I’M NOT ASKING FOR ANYTHING THAT I DO NOT OWN ALREADY. I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT MORE FORMAL” I say, clenching my teeth.

“He’ll never do that” Paul says.

“OH, HE WILL” I reply, annoyed. “OR I WILL STURT ERASING CITIES FROM THE MAP UNTIL HE DOES” I add, letting my annoyance show and putting the threat, which should have been obvious enough, on the table.

I bring the hand closer to my face as I say so, trying to get some view of the microscopic fucker that thinks that he can address to me like that.

“AS FOR YOU…” I start

“Die, bitch!” the angriest words from the tiny Secretary come to my earpiece.

I’m outraged, but it only lasts an instant. A second later I feel pain for the first time since my growth.

A massive heatwave hits my face and I’m instantly blinded. Amost in perfect synchrony, an impossibly loud bang in my left ear deafens me and my head shakes violently as it if had been hit by something. I feel myself start dropping backwads, but I cannot focus. My balance has gone to hell. I think my ass has hit the ocean bed, but there’s nothing I can do to check it. I feel as if I had been hit by a professional boxer and burnt with a torch, all at the same time.

All I can do is to let out my loudest yell yet. I don’t know it, but apparently it has been heard as far as Europe.