"Hang on!" screamed Mary Read. "Grab onto something solid!" Anne Bonny only cursed in return, clinging to one of the few mounted belaying pins to keep from zipping down the badly canted deck. "Calico Jack" John Rackham himself was sprawled against the railing of the forecastle deck, his head lolling sickly about as he faded in and out of consciousness. He was entirely unaware of the disasters going on far below, the ignoble fate of the Bennet nor the obscene demise of the Tyger. Even now, the remnants of Captain Barnet's 90-ton snow were sinking to the shallow sea floor off the coast of Negril, Jamaica, heavily impregnated with the gigantic, gorgeous witchy's ejaculate. For months afterward, this wreck would daunt treasure-seekers with the thick ooze it slowly disseminated throughout the waters, attracting new sea life following up on this novel food source.

Yet Lovely Mari did not think her task done.

"How're you guys doing?" Pressing her chin to her collarbones, she spoke as cheerfully as possible to the tiny sloop of friends. "Holy fuck, I love bein' a pirate! Wish I could do this all the time! Ain't this the best?"

Whether it was the best or not, Read and Bonny called up enthusiastic agreements to the crude and lewd giantess who held them captive within her spreading bosom.

"Now, mateys, I'm gonna need your help for this next part, okay? Because I'm way too big to do a complete job, but I got y'all backin' me up, don't I?"

They swore up and down they were here to back her up, absolutely.

"That's what I like ta hear! Fuckin' A, pirates! Woo-hoo!" She cheered her companions, then hollered look out below to no one in particular. It was just a thing to do, because she bent at the hips and rocked back on her heels, and she drove her immense and bulging ass into the shore of Negril. Stories for decades afterward would tell of the towering waves of water that flew over the jungles of western Jamaica, the midnight rainfall that brought sharks and fish several miles inland. The small fishing community that housed the locals the Englishmen had befriended in order to go hunting for turtles, in the short hour before they were invited for a rum-party aboard an armed sloop of traitorous privateers—that village was absolutely decimated. Nothing remained of it. Bodies were whisked out to sea in the flood that ran from inland to the bay, mingling with the bodies of the Royal British Navy who'd dutifully hurled themselves overboard when their good captain demanded it. And all these bodies milled about like wriggly little ants in the water as the colossal, sexy witchy cupped her massive hands beneath them and lifted them up in a small lake fringed by her palms and fingers.

"I can't let y'all go," she informed the stragglers. "It's the law of the pirates! No survivors, no pris'ners! That sounds about right."

In the rapidly warming pool in within the giantess's hands, British soldiers and absolutely befuddled Jamaican nationals tread water, staring up at the broad, thick pink lips that shimmied just above them. Many of these tiny men were beginning to lose their minds, so the sentences she tossed out meant very little to them. All they knew was that they knew nothing anymore, and a goddess was toying with them, so they watched her flashing teeth and dancing tongue and anticipated the worst.

"What are you doing?" screamed Read to Bonny, who had nodded at her companion and released her death-grip on the belaying pin. Bonny slid easily across the main deck and neatly slipped her arm around the ropes of the staysail. So hooked, she ventured to peer over the edge of the bow and assess the situation.

"Oh, heavenly days, Mary," she called back, aghast. "She's gathered a crowd of the poor blighters in her hands! Like… how do I say this?"

"Spit it out!" Read shouted.

"She's gathered a pond in her hands, the giant woman has!" Bonny's eyes flickered up, as though it suddenly occurred to her that the beguiling and sociopathic giantess might hear her. This was not the case, so she drew a deep breath and continued. "I don't know what she's… Oh, good lord, there's a lot of people I don't recognize in there. Where'd they come from?"

Before Read could compel any clarification from her companion, she watched Mari's slender hands rise beyond the bowsprit. They were indeed pressed together, and she could see glistening water flowing over the heels of her hands and down the tendons of her forearms. It was remarkable to witness the detail of a human body on this humongous giantess, noticing things she'd never spotted on her own body, or studying familiar features on a younger, exponentially more massive model.

But then her reverie was interrupted with the screams of a dozen men, as the moonlit pool of water leaped in a waterfall from her palms and into the waiting mouth of the giantess. Read and Bonny stared at the waterfall shimmering with the moon behind it, flowing from Lovely Mari's grasp and dumping into her open jaws.

"Good Lord," whispered Bonny, shaken to her boots.

"The poor bastards." Read wanted to look away but found herself unable to do so. "They don't have a fecking chance."

These were both hardened women of worldly experience, Bonny coming from a lifetime of piracy, and Read, an amply decorated combat veteran, but there was something in this sight that chilled their spirits. Perhaps it was the helplessness of the tiny figures, men they knew to be their own size but seeming as large as beetles as they tumbled from her palms, splashing through space, disappearing between the enormous, gaping grin of a woman who not only introduced new perimeters to insanity but had the unique gift of spreading it outside of herself.

Not all dove into Lovely Mari's maw. Some few of them landed badly against her fat lower lip, caroming through the air to collide with one colossal boob before sprawling upon the main deck of the William. Dazed senseless and shattered with fright, these men only lay gasping upon the floorboards. Neither of the women pirates had the heart to run them through with a blade or put their pistols to their heads. Instead, they conspired to take the man up by arms and legs, wish him luck, then give him a swinging heave back up to the giantess's mountainous breast. "Good luck!" they shouted, tossing the luckless sailor up the peach-colored hillside, warm with Lovely Mari's raging metabolism, only to watch him roll down the sensual slope like a log. Sometimes a quick-thinking victim would scrabble at her flesh, trying to seize the fine, pale hairs that glowed in the moonlight. These were never enough to support his weight, of course, and his body would drift over her smooth, creamy skin and drop away, unseen, beyond the mammoth breast's horizon. One or two might slide fortuitously toward a prominent nipple, clinging to that erotic bulge for as long as their arms could hold out, which never turned out to be very long.

Other sailors and locals rushed down Mari's vast cheek, sucked under her jaw in a flume of ocean water, raced down her neck and, before anyone knew what happened, simply vanished into the abyss between her titanic breasts. Read or Bonny would hear a shout, look up, and see a struggling man shoot past the rear of their ship like a comet, there and gone again in a second. It was presumed that these hapless souls, like those they tossed overboard, ended up in the ocean after their little adventure, and some of them might even have survived. It was impossible to know for sure.

Lovely Mari's laughter echoed across the whole of Jamaica after this. "That was amazing! Wasn't that amazing?" Read and Bonny were forced to concede they had never experienced anything like this in their lives. She laughed, her monstrous chest quaked and pounded around them, and the William groaned as though it might fall apart any second. "Aw, man! This has been th' best time o' my life, maybe. Hey, you two!"

They looked up at the immense face turning down to loom overhead, her heart-shaped pupils glowing in the night. Read got a little dizzy with the size of the witchy maiden, having to turn her head so far just to see each side of her head. Bonny called up, "What can we do for you, fellow pirate?"

"I'm just wond'rin' if y'know a good place to get drunk around here. Night's still young!"

A weak voice called up from the bow, "I don't think the ship's in any condition to move anywhere but down." John Rackham struggled to his feet, leaning on a railing. "But I bet you could carry it back up to Nassau faster than she could sail on a good day. Bring 'er in for repairs and I'll stand you a few rounds of drinks." Bonny forgot her fears and ran down the warped deck to catch him in her arms, supporting his wobbly stance. Read scowled at them but allowed it would be wise to depart Jamaica as swiftly as possible.

"Hold on ta somethin' solid, then!" Lovely Mari warned the trio, cupping her overly copious bosom with dainty hands to steady the ship. Long, lustrous incisors bit her bottom lip as she struggled to rise to her feet. Her giggles belted like thunder across the ship as she gingerly picked her way down the reef and into the deeper ocean, which foamed below her navel at its deepest points and crashed around her shins the rest of the time.

And there were tales told by confused and drunken men, awake at that hour of the night, about a goddess who visited the island of New Providence, the Bahamas, radiant with unbridled sexuality. There were tales about three pirates blessed by the goddess, who showered wealth upon the locals and drank for two days straight. There was gossip about an impromptu trial resulting in nine English fishermen were loaded aboard a Dutch merchant vessel bound for Port Royal, Jamaica, and seven hardened sea-dogs who were never seen again. But there's a lot to drink in Nassau and people spin all kinds of yarns.

*   *   *

Drummond hated how his body responded when Lovely Mari called out "Drummond!" from downstairs, ringing up the staircase. His head snapped about, as though prepared to dodge a projectile; his spine stiffened and his muscles tensed, bracing for the impact of a huge and careless hand (or foot); his cock went instantly hard. "Traitor," he muttered at his crotch while replacing the Grimoire exactly where he found it in the armoire shelf. Hearing her clomp up the stairs, he raced down her white-and-purple stripey leggings once more. Only when he reached the bottom did he discover he'd misjudged the rolls of the waistband and found himself bunched up in the toe of her stocking.

"Drummond! I'm home! Didja miss me. Pshaw, of course y' did! I'm fuckin' awesome!" The gigantic witchy was dressed once more in her exotic and blatantly slutty pirate costume. Her tall boots thundered across the floor like a stampede of well-choreographed bison. "Pirates, Drummond! Fuckin' A, pirates!" She cheered and pumped the air on her way to the city collection in the corner of the room.

For his part, Drummond could only hang there like a useless lump in her stocking. The fabric was too fine for him to easily grasp and race out of, with no folds or wrinkles to his advantage as his body stretched it out. He could easily have slit the toe open and fallen free, but his goddess would likely kill him for that, even though she could magically repair it without a trace of damage. So he could only lie there, wadded up in the foot of her stocking, watching her colossal form tromp on by like a thunderstorm, disappearing around the corner of the armoire. He heard her futzing around with something, humming pleasantly to herself.

And then: "Drummond? Where are you, ya li'l brat? I'm all home an' shit! You're s'posed ta come out prancing like a freakin' puppy ta see me!"

Blushing, he cleared his throat and called out, "I'm in here."

"What? In where?" He heard her boots go BOOM-BOOM-BOOM as she attempted to quickly spot him.

"In your armoire, my Goddess."

"Wha-a-a-at?! You better not be messin' around in my underwear, ya perv!" Her 18-hole boots presented themselves immediately, and he craned his head in his awkward predicament to look up her long thighs running into the depths of her short skirt. "I don't ba-leeve this!" She laughed and knelt outside the armoire, cranking her head around to gape at him. He struggled to raise an arm and wave at her. "I was just kiddin'! I din't think you'd actually perv out and go crawlin' around in my underwear! You really did miss me, din'cha?" She shook a finger at him. "And it looks like ya missed my feet most of all! Guess I don't blame ya, they're pretty cute damn feet. But I still gotta teach you a lesson for snoopin' around in my skivvies."

Mari wrapped a fist around the fabric just above him, trapping the SWAT Operator in a tiny sack of Lycra stocking and brought the garment over to the city. "But first, check this out, Drummond! A real-life pirate ship! Whaddya think?"

"I can't really see it from this angle, my Goddess." No sooner had he said this than she upended her stocking and dumped him upon the main deck of the Ranger. As far as he could tell, she hadn't altered its size at all: he walked up the length of the ship, studying the railing and masts with great interest. "This is truly amazing, my beautiful Goddess. Where did you get this?"

"The Bahamas," she said flatly. She pretended to examine her nails with half-lidded eyes, stifling a yawn, until she burst into excited giggles. "This was an actual, real-life pirate ship from a pirate, Drummond! His name's Calico Jack, because he dresses up so fancy! Did you know it was a crime to dress up so fancy if you weren't, like, noble-people or some shit?"

Drummond raised his eyebrows. "I thought that was just a feudal Japanese law."

"Nope! Lots o' people had that idea, I guess! Anyway, me an' a bunch of pirates partied for a couple o' months!" She blinked and sat back on her heels. "How long was I gone here?"

"A day, my Goddess." He had no idea that she could travel through time, stay away for so long, then come back right after she left. Immediately he wondered why that should surprise him: if she wanted, she could travel to the same moment in time from different points in the future (or past) and fill a room full of gorgeous witchies of slightly variant ages. He visibly flinched at the thought.

"Only a day? Jolly hockey sticks, I'm better than I thought!" With that, she swiped Drummond greedily from the restored Ranger. She hopped up and threw herself bodily into her massive, fluffy bed and cast a cantrip to unlace her elaborate boots. "That was Calico Jack's ship," she crowed, lying on her back and resting her tiny officer upon one sweaty, stinky sole. "He got that from Captain Vine, who was a real asshole, but the one time he didn't wanna go after another ship, his crew voted him out as captain, and Calico Jack booted him out to sea!" She stretched her legs as long as they would go, which was pretty long, and pinched the little man's face between her toes, laughing at his expression. "An' then he sailed to the Bahamas, and he ditched the Ranger, an' me an' him an' two other pirates—women pirates, so you know they're good!—we all stole another ship, called the William! An' then y'know what happened?"

For the rest of the evening she told him the entire story, swinging her feet in the air and making him cling to her big toe for dear life. She screeched and made all the sound effects, clapping her soles violently around the little man, knowing he could take it. She tossed her hat off in the corner, climbed out of her pirate gear, jabbering at him with half-sentences interrupting other half-sentences. Finally she wedged him in her butt and clamped him there while she changed into her favorite cornflower blue dressing gown and bonnet, and then she tugged him out of his stupid little soldier clothes, and she yanked the sheets up over the two of them. "That's pretty cool, huh, Drummond? I was so fuckin' awesome, all the pirates were wishin' they were as good as me! But I'm all, Hell no, bitches! I'm Pirate Mari an' I'm kickin' all yer asses!" And she went on, filling in the blanks where she couldn't remember all the facts, and she hugged him with her massive breasts until she couldn't see him anymore, and she hugged him harder until he stopped moving, and then she stretched him out on her pillow and covered him in her long, golden hair and kissed him everywhere she could fit her big, puffy lips and fell asleep on him, fluttering her eyelashes over his face and resting her cheek upon his body, blowing sleepy puffs of balmy wind over his cock, which loved it, and even though his own thoughts drifted to the other stuffed suitcase in the administrator's office in the library, he doubted he could ever leave this woman.