Just got back from the annual Little People of America national conference, this year in Boston. I've gone with my parents pretty much every year since I was 8, together with Lexie of course. It is by far the highlight of my year. When I was younger I would look forward to next year's events from the day after this year's ended. The reason is simple: for a few days each year I get to spend them with lots and lots of my own kind. OK, no one else is too near my size, but it's still comforting to be able to hang with other people, often your own age, to whom you don’t have to be eye to knee with and who have experienced similar, if not identical, things. It's true, even among my own Primordial Dwarfism group, I am a celebrity though, because it's not every day people get to see a real live 18 inch tall adult. Most of the adult primordials are in the 28-36 inch range so they're still a good foot or so taller, and the heights of the other types of dwarfism represented there range all the way to 4'9 or so. 

Lauren should so get over herself and just join us, but whatever, that's her business. She came one year, when we were 14, and I guess that that was traumatic enough to scare her away. In any event, the most common form of dwarfism, and obviously of conference attendees, yields a height of about 4 foot or so. But that's still way better than my being in a room full of 5 foot something or taller people. Lexie of course comes every year too, and my mom has promised to take her sometime to the Tall People of America conferences, but she's still too young for that. In any event, she loves to come with me to LPA events, and she's made lots of great friends, not only because, umm, if I may say so myself, she's a hottie, and not only because she's the tallest person ever to attend LPA conferences which kinda grants her too celeb status, but she's just genuinely so personable. She's made lots of friends her own age there and even my friends there all love her. She has to sit down so that she doesn't literally tower over everyone (ok, over me she still towers, but hey), but even sitting she's heads taller than most of the people. It's kinda cute to see her surrounded by LPs who are all looking up, some of us waaay up, just to see her face. 

My mom and dad couldn't come this year, as they went on a two month work/vacation thing to Tuscany, so Lexie accompanied me alone. I guess you could call her my handler, since I really do need her to get me stuff, but I usually don't use that term as it implies, I think, something a bit unnatural or inhuman, as if I was a hamster or something. Anyway, to get there we went by plane. I think I've mentioned this already but since I am so little and take up hardly any space on a plane seat, I usually just travel as a new born, with a travel car seat and all. It ends up cheaper for us as well and the airlines wouldn't know the difference. Lexie gets to (that is, requests way in advance) sit up front with no seats in front of her since her legs go on forever and would be way too cramped in a regular aisle, and my new-born travel seat is attached to the wall for her to have easy accommodation. When she needs to go to the bathroom, naturally she takes me with her and I stand in front of her mammoth legs as she sits to do her stuff. The toilets are much too big for me to fit on, so I just pray I don't have to relieve myself that way while en route.

Getting to the hotel, we were a bit overwhelmed as the receptionists just couldn’t get over the fact that the 25 year old (did I mention that my birthday was in the beginning of May?; for that matter, Lexie's was July first, so she is 17 by now) teeny tiny adult standing on the marble countertop, as the stepladders placed in front specifically for the special sized guests were still substantially insufficient for him to see over -- that tiny adult is the older (!!!) brother of the unearthly tall teenager looking down at him as he signs them both in! The young girls working the reception counter just wanted selfie after selfie with the incredibly varied siblings, and of course we didn't let them down! I am sure they were trained not to pick up the guests for that week, no matter how cute or even helpless they may have looked, but I always tend to make humans forget their manners. The girls were all over me, and begged Lexie (wait, what? Lexie is with me, damn it, she's younger than me, why are they asking her permission to pick me up??) to allow them to pick me up for some selfies. Lexie, for her part, is used to this sort of reception and politely allowed them two, but only two, pics. She can be firm when she means to be, and I love her for it. Meanwhile and simultaneously, the male bellhops were all fawning over Lexie, asking her if they could get her a drink (umm, dudes, what about this little guy down here? I wouldn't mind a cold soda now if you don't mind. Whatever. I'll share with Lexie), or take her luggage to wherever in heaven she must have just fallen from? (O, slick, guys, but ewww! she's 17, for crying out loud!) Whatever. I don't deny that Lexie is hot, and not just for the tall hawks out there, and this type of behavior happens to her all the time. She loves it -- hey, who wouldn’t? -- but definitely uses it to her advantage.

We were happily alone, and getting comfortable in the room within 10 minutes of the receptionist "show." We realized pretty quickly that, Lexie having grown since last year (she grows around 3 inches per year, lucky shit) her legs just wouldn't fit on the bed (even the hotel size, which is bigger than normal). Since I, of course, don't need a whole bed for myself, a simple pillow is more than long and wide enough for me, we realized it would make more sense to place "my" bed in an L shape adjacent to Lexie's so that she would have that extra long space for her extra extra long legs. I would happily sleep on the floor on the pillow since even though the hotel had thoughtfully provided a stool for all beds of LPA conference guests, the stool was simply not high enough for me to climb my way into the bed. Therefore, after a few minutes respite we called the front desk to send help up to move the beds to our desired shape. If I thought the bed situation was bad, however, the bathroom and shower situation was even worse. It's true, there too the hotel had placed plastic stools for their special sized guests to utilize, but the toilet was simply too high and wide for me, the sink and the shower faucets were just way beyond my reach. Lexie and I resolved that the only way for this to work was for her to help me in the shower. Now, I've had help in the bathroom before, on the rare occasions when my special sized bathroom won't work, but well, I'm still a guy, and getting nude in front of your baby sister is still...weird. But she'll tell you all more about that.

Well, the conference is pretty cool. There are all sorts of sessions, both for the specific group (dwarfism type) you belong to, as well as general ones. There's a bunch of medical advisors and talks and just general issues we LPs kinda live with all the time. Of course, there's also a dance, which is better for me than most other dances I've been to, since I don't have to stand on a stage just to be in height range of the girl I'm with. You can imagine that 18 inches is nowhere near the height range of a 5 foot or something girl. Here, even though I'm still way shorter, I come up to the girls' waists or sometimes, if I'm lucky, lower abdomen. Photographs always show Lexie in the background, sitting down of course, but still smiling and looking down at the various couples all having a great time, around her. I do remember this year, Jeremy, one of my friends, my age, walking over with just a bit too much swagger and asking Lexie to accompany him to the dance floor. Now, Jeremy is 3'5, maybe 75 lbs, and looks like a miniaturized version of John Travolta so I guessed Lexie was intrigued, and not a little bit flattered, that such a cool guy asked her out. What do girls always say? It's self-confidence that is most attractive to them? Well, Jeremy exudes confidence. When they danced, Jeremy was (literally) all over Lexie's legs, below her waist but close enough that she kinda had to keep him at arm's length (and, yes, I know, arm's length to Lexie is a long way away) every so often. But whatever, she enjoyed it, I could tell, and Jeremy's face after? OMG, he seemed to be in heaven. 

There's also a great talent show where the kids mostly show off their modeling or singing talents. Finally, there's a huge banquet for all conference guests. Great food! Not that I can eat too much, my stomach is just too tiny to accommodate too much food all at once. But I do love to eat, and the steaks there were out of this world. Lexie by contrast seems to have a bottomless pit for a stomach, she is constantly eating. And yet she is still really thin. Most people are amazed at how she does it. Well, it kinda helps being a giant to eat and not gain weight. Speaking of which, I wish I could gain. I still can't break the 8.5 pound mark, which is ok but being a bit more could help me in trying to gain muscle. O well. Tiny rocks, that's all I have to say.

The last day of the conference is the saddest since we all have to say goodbye to each other. Guys and girls who I've known for like over 15 years, and I probably won't see live, in person, for a full year. My friends. Back home, Lauren is a great friend, but there are not too many others I can count in that category. So it's hard. Anyhow, Lexie lifts me so we can travel to the airport and back home. In her arms I feel comforted, and I fall asleep there rather quickly as the plane lifts off.