Dark used to love humans.

Keywords: used to. 

Humans were just so adorable when they slept, their passion for admiring the stars meant that Dark could hear intimate thoughts Light was never privy to, and humans often had sex at night, so Dark was never without a masturbatory aid.

However, humans feared Dark. It wasn't even her fault- Nature had decided to make all the scary creatures nocturnal, and humans themselves decided to commit their worst atrocities in the dark.

Dark's name was even connected to so many terrible things- the cold, claustrophobia, death, destruction, evil . . . which had, at one point, left Dark wondering what she had done wrong. She provided humans with comfortable nights, the darkness of the womb in which their children matured, shade from Light's sometimes overbearing sunshine, and yet no one respected her for it. Even when humans had believed in gods, no one had ever prayed to Dark. The other members of the pantheon often murmured that Dark shouldn't even exist, and Light never once stood up for her.

And yet Dark had challenged Light to a popularity contest with human judges. Dark internally berated herself for her lapse in judgment. 

However, Dark was prepared to cheat in this little contest, and so long as Light never found out everyone would walk away happy.

Dark had to admit that seeing the flash of golden light that indicated Light had found a supporter already worried her, so Dark picked a random human from the crowd and ported him to her room.

------

Joseph was highly uncomfortable. As if his painful shyness weren't enough, he had been trying to clean his neighbor's pool when he had suddenly found himself here, meaning he was standing around in swim trunks carrying a brush about as tall as he was. He looked like a pool boy!

Well, so long as a stare counted as a vote, he found himself staring at the dark-skinned, glowing beauty in front of him, more than happy about doing so.

Imagine his confusion at disappearing in a cloud of black smoke.

When it dissipated, he found himself standing in the palm of the other goddess- a terrifyingly cold woman, whose silver eyes reminded one of the full moon.

It was then that her breath washed over him, and Joseph found himself fighting a hard-on. 

------

Dark recognized this one, and had to suppress the urge to giggle. A mouth fetishist, specifically one who preferred halitosis. 

This was going to be easy.

"Hello, Joseph. I am Dark, the Goddess of Darkness. Rather simple to remember, if I do say so." Dark smiled a rather wide smile, exposing her teeth. "I see you brought a brush with you. That much is good- I had originally planned on purging my mouth with divine power, but having you clean it would really make my day."

Dark, unlike the other deities, did not emit light- rather, she absorbed it. This meant that she had a bit more trouble getting clean after an excursion to Earth, as she couldn't just burn off all the impurities. She had to go completely divine for all the Earthly scum to come off, and Dark hadn't done so yet. Dark fondly remembered that trip- bouncing between sites on a campground, getting free food and easy sex just by showing up.

Dark stopped that train of thought, and summoned a gritty substance onto the end of the oversized broom Joseph was carrying. With that, she popped him in and shut her lips.

------

Joseph could not believe what was going on. Just a few minutes ago, he had been cleaning a pool to show off for the widow who owned it. Now he was trapped in absolute darkness, swinging a pool brush around and scrubbing at the slippery surfaces that were, frankly, in every direction. 

Various scents mixed in the humid air- chili, carne asada, spicy sausage, chocolate, and cigarette smoke were most prevalent- and as his eyes adjusted to bring useless, his other senses began to compensate. The thickness of the air meant that Joseph could taste each of these things personally- it almost felt as if Dark had shoved her tongue down his throat. 

Everything was covered in the thick slime of Dark's saliva, both slippery and sticky. Sticky because it wrapped around Joseph's legs like quicksand, slippery because he could not seem to stop sliding around, constantly moving without being able to control the direction in which he moved.

Joseph fell face-down into a puddle of saliva, and judging by the weight on his back he was being pinned by Dark's muscular tongue. Just as he nearly accepted his fate, the massive muscle moved and pushed Joseph back to his feet.

------

Dark was lost in thought, tilting her head from side to side while she deliberated what exactly her position was.

As a goddess, Dark wasn't given a shred of respect. The other members of the pantheon mocked her, humans feared her, and she was lonely and miserable. Worse yet, she had a sister who she had to see nearly constantly that left her with the most terrible inferiority complex.

When she feigned mortality, however, Dark was happy. She was no longer considered distant and terrible- she was gothy and hot. Her shadowy abilities were no longer the stuff of nightmares- they were awesome and kinky. In fact, Dark had succeeded in taking every god and goddess in the heavens into bed with her while she was disguised as a mortal. In fact, because she didn't glow, Dark managed to blend in with mortals far easier than any of her brothers and sisters. 

Dark had decided- if things went as poorly as she expected, Dark would spend the next few centuries hiding amongst mortals. 

Humans weren't that bad. Just weirdly fearful. 

Suddenly, Dark stopped. Joseph had stopped moving around in her mouth, and she used her tongue to feel around for him. When it turned out he was under her tongue, she lifted him back to his feet.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "Lost in thought."

------

Joseph was surprised by the sudden wind that smacked him into one of Dark's massive incisors, and even more surprised that she apologized for nearly killing him.

Suddenly, Joseph realized what was going on. She knew that he enjoyed this. She was trying to get him on her side. She saved him because she cared about him.

With renewed vigor, Joseph slid around Dark's maw, scrubbing at every available surface. Even as the strong scent that permeated the air slowly faded, Joseph fell for the embodiment of darkness. "Thank you," he said into the blackness, hoping Dark would hear. "I love you, Dark."

------

A mild blush tinged Dark's cheeks. No one had ever told her that. She'd been called beautiful, but it was always in a way that made her certain that she was just the object of someone's lust.

As she felt her mouth was nearly clean, she pushed her tongue forward and up, catching Joseph between her lip and her teeth.

"You've done well. I suppose you can stay, provided you vote my way," Dark said, pretending she hadn't heard.

------

Joseph would not have had it any other way.