The phone rings all morning long, and Naomi continues to field calls from people who just read the article in the National Mirror. She seems to be getting quite annoyed, but I figure I'm okay as long as her frustration is aimed away from me.
She's sitting on the couch, chain smoking and watching some cooking show on PBS. Every time the phone rings, she lets out an exasperated moan and picks it up. The conversations have gotten shorter and shorter, to the point that she now hangs up as soon as the people on the other end introduce themselves.
Meanwhile, I'm in the dining room with Nicole and Kim, driving my car for them. Nicole is a little less than enthused, but Kim is thrilled with the way I weave around the chair legs under the table. When I complete the circuit, I speed back and zip between her legs. She squeals with delight when I come to a stop.
"Seen it," Nicole says, yawning theatrically.
"It's so adorable," Kim says, walking over to me and looking down. "Can I hold it?"
I shake my head. "I'd rather you didn't."
The phone rings, interrupting Kim in mid-pout. Once again, Naomi answers it angrily and hangs up immediately. She throws the phone down on the couch and says, "God damn, I wish we had Caller ID."
Kim and Nicole snicker at Naomi's outburst, then turn their attention back to me. "Don't you get bored driving around in here all the time?" Kim asks, kneeling down over me. "We could take you outside if you want."
Actually, the thought is tempting. Kim and Nicole both seem to be in a good mood, which is something of a phenomenon. And time spent outside would be time spent away from Naomi...
Unfortunately, Naomi has other ideas. "Hey girls," she calls as she walks over to us. "Why don't you go next door and play for a while? Ray and I need to have a little talk."
"Uh oh," Nicole says, stifling a giggle. "Ray's in trouble."
"Sometime today," Naomi says, crossing her arms. The girls slip their shoes on and hurry out the front door. When it closes, I blink nervously and try to swallow the lump in my throat. Looks like my number's come up...
Naomi sighs. "Get out of the car, Ray."
"Listen, Naomi," I say. "I know you're upset, but I swear I never wanted any of this..."
"Get out," she orders me. "Now!"
I climb out of my car and stand there, feeling very vulnerable at her sandaled feet. God, I can't believe we're back to this again. It's not fair that she has so much power over me!
"I've been thinking about how to punish you," she says, her toes twitching almost imperceptibly. "And I've decided the best thing to do is just let things go back to how they were. So no movies and no car."
I stand there, trembling, unable to believe my luck. "Really?"
She smiles thinly. "Yeah, really. Why? Do you think you deserve worse?"
"No!" I say. "I mean, I just thought..."
She steps over me, to my house. She pulls it away from the wall and reaches inside, pulling out my movie player. She nudges the house back into place with her foot, then turns to face me again.
"You understand," she says, "this time I'm gonna make sure the punishment sticks."
"What do you..." I watch in horror as she hurls my movie player to the floor. It cracks open when it hits the floor with a loud pop. Her foot comes down on the broken device, crushing it to a million shattered pieces.
"Stop!" I scream, running towards her. She kicks at me, striking me with the edge of her sandal and knocking me hard to the floor. She steps over me and walks over to my car. I bury my face in my hands and sob, unable to watch as she stomps on my car, breaking the plastic and snapping the thin metal with her sandaled foot.
"You bitch!" I scream at her, still huddled on the floor. "You fucking evil..."
"Really," Naomi says, amused. She reaches down and snatches me up between her thumb and finger, letting me dangle in front of her face. "You kiss your momma with that mouth?"
"Why?" I sob, unable to meet her gaze. I can't bear that smug, evil grin. "You had no right!"
"Oh, we're just getting started," she says, pinching me to make me look at her. "Starting Monday, Suzy's services will no longer be required. I've decided to let my sister Debbie take care of you and Nicole. Unless, of course, I decide to take you to work with me."
Oh, God. I'm going to be so sick...
"No more special meals," she continues. "You can eat what I give you to eat, or you can starve. Or hunt fucking crickets, for all I care. But your little dinners are going in the trash."
I start to protest, but she silences me with a pinch.
"No more back talk. From now on, the only words I want to hear out of your mouth are 'Yes, Momma,' 'No, Momma,' and 'Please, may I play on your pretty feet, Momma?' Understand?"
I choke down the bile in my throat and nod. "Yes, Momma."
"From now on, if me or one of my friends calls you, I want you to come running. No more of this hiding shit."
I want to fucking kill myself. I swear to God, I can't bear the thought of living like this.
"If you disobey me on any of these things, you'll go into time out," she says. "And if you complain to your daddy or Nicole or anybody about how I'm treating you, you'll go into time out."
"Yes, Momma."
"Just remember," she says, tilting me back so I can't help but stare into her monstrous face, "I can always think of a way to make you more miserable. So think about that before you do anything you know is gonna upset me."
I'm trembling from despair and anger at my own impotence. And of course, Naomi is loving every minute of it. She knows she's not allowed to crush me physically, but she relishes in her ability to crush me spiritually. And she's done it. Honest to God, I have no fight left in me.
"Do we understand each other?"
I nod weakly. "Yes, Momma."
She lowers me down, dropping me into her cupped palm. As she looks down at me, her face softens and her smile becomes much kinder.
"Good boy. Now, what would you like to do?"
She just has to twist the knife one more time, doesn't she? "Play on your feet," I mutter.
"Excuse me?"
"Play on your feet," I answer through gritted teeth.
She shakes her head. "You know you're supposed to ask nicely."
With tears of frustration streaming down my face, I ask, "Please, may I play on your pretty feet, Momma?"
She smiles down benignly at me. "Of course, sweetie. I think I'd like that."
I spend the next hour or so between Naomi's toes, kissing them and telling her how pretty her feet are. Because, frankly, I don't have much choice.
She's sitting on the couch, her bare feet propped on the coffee table and crossed at the ankles. She sits there, smoking a cigarette and watching with disinterest as I squirm between her toes. I'm still battered and bruised from last night with Cheryl and Debbie, and my muscles scream in agony every time she wiggles her toes. She has no sympathy for my plight and, in fact, seems to take sadistic delight in making me cry out.
"I don't know why you act like this is some great punishment," she says wearily. "You've really got it good here, you know?"
She gets annoyed when I don't answer and gives me a painful squeeze. "Are you listening to me?"
I gasp, "Yes, Momma," and her toes relax a little.
"I mean, you've got no responsibilities, no worries... you just sit around all day and let everybody else take care of you. And any time I ask you for a little favor, you act like it's some kind of major imposition. I mean, it's not like you don't enjoy it, right?"
I stroke her toe, desperate to appease her. "Yes, Momma."
She shakes her head and takes a long drag on her cigarette. "Do you have any idea what kind of things Cheryl would do to you if I let her have you for a night?"
That's one of those horrifying thoughts that I struggle daily to keep buried. Cheryl still frightens me, and the thought of being completely at her mercy is enough nightmare fuel to last me the rest of my life. As much as I despise Naomi, she's definitely the lesser of two evils.
"Maybe I should do that," she says, smiling cruelly as she slowly grinds her toes together. "Maybe I'll let Cheryl have you for a weekend, just to teach you a lesson."
"No, please don't!" I cry to her, doubling my efforts to mollify her. I press my face to her toe and kiss it. "I'll be good, I promise. Please don't!"
She actually seems moved by my plea. Her cruel smile softens and she reaches forward slowly, lifting me from her foot. She shushes me as she strokes me with her gigantic fingers. "It's okay, sweetie. Momma won't let anything happen to you."
Let's call it an epiphany. Or a moment of clarity. Or a sudden, brilliant, flash of insight. Since I've been here, I've just assumed that Naomi and Cheryl were both sadistic, power-mad bitches who tormented me because it gave them a sense of power.
But I think I understand Naomi a little bit better now, and it was a mistake to assume that she and Cheryl shared a motive. At the risk of getting, as Suzy put it, "all first-year Freudian," I think Naomi just needs to feel needed. God knows, she never gets any validation from Paul. He pretty much ignores her unless he's pissed about something, and that little scene last night over her affair was probably the most attention he's paid her since I've been here. Nicole's reached an age where she wants as little to do with her mother as possible. Which leaves me.
I think when I first arrived here, Naomi was thrilled with the idea of something as tiny and helpless as me, completely and totally relying on her. And when I began to push back, to assert my independence, it threatened her. My friendship with Suzy, my car, my video player... all symbols of my self-reliance, which is why she set out to rid me of them. Because Naomi wants me like I am right now - vulnerable and dependent on her.
Like a mother who spanks her children, then hugs and kisses them when they cry, Naomi causes me pain so she'll have an excuse to soothe and comfort me.
So why does Cheryl do it? Because she's an evil, man-eating bitch.
"I swear," Cheryl croaks, shaking her head sadly, "I don't know what I'm going to do with Kim. She keeps going off her lithium, and I swear she's driving me crazy." I've been straddling her instep for about half an hour, vigorously rubbing the indentions left by her sandals. She occasionally rewards me by brushing me with the toes of her other foot.
"She seemed fine this morning," Naomi says, sitting on the couch. She just got over another crying jag, and her eyes are red and puffy.
"Yeah, well, that's because I snuck into her room yesterday to check her meds," Cheryl says, flexing her toes for me. "She was supposed to be done with them this weekend, but the bottle was still half full."
"How come she doesn't take them?" Debbie asks, sitting next to Naomi. She keeps glancing at me and smiling because she knows her turn is coming up.
"Shit, I don't know," Cheryl says. "She says those pills make her feel depressed and tired, but I swear I prefer that to all that bouncing around." She bucks her foot when she says this, nearly throwing me off. I throw my arms around her middle toe to steady myself.
"So, have you heard from Paul yet?" Debbie asks Naomi.
"No," Naomi says. "I turned off the phone because I was tired of answering the goddamn thing. People have been calling all morning about that damn article in the Mirror."
"Oh, yeah," Cheryl says. "Have you read it yet?"
"I can't," Naomi says sadly. "Not right now." She shakes her head and lets out a long, lingering sigh. "God, that bastard Benny! I can't believe he used me like that!"
Everyone sits in awkward silence for about a minute, until Cheryl suddenly lets out a snort and pinches me between her toes. "God damn it, Ray!" she shouts. "If you tickle me again, I swear I'm going to pop your little head off."
"I'm sorry!" I tell her. "I didn't mean to!"
"Okay, that's enough," Naomi says, standing up and approaching us. She grabs me between her thumb and finger, plucking me from between Cheryl's toes. "The poor thing is exhausted and beat all to hell." Naomi carries me to my dollhouse and sets me inside.
"I didn't get a turn," Debbie whines.
Naomi pushes my house back against the wall. "You'll have all day Monday to play with Ray."
"Sounds like fun," Cheryl says in a voice that makes my blood chill. "Maybe I'll pop by for a visit."
"You know," Naomi says, a tad irritated, "I thought you guys came over to cheer me up. If all you're gonna do is talk about Ray, we might as well call it a night..."
"Oh, Naomi sweetie," Cheryl says, standing up. "Of course we're here for you." She walks past my house on the way to the kitchen, glancing down at me through the window and smiling. "Besides, we haven't even opened the wine yet."
"God, not too much," Naomi says. "I'm still wrung out from last night."
Debbie giggles. "Me too. You guys wanna get high?"
The mood of the room darkens and sours as the wine bottle is emptied. By late afternoon, Naomi is crying again as Cheryl tears into her ex-husband and Debbie relates detail after gory detail of her train wreck of a relationship.
"I'm telling you, sugar, men suck," Cheryl says. "If they're not cheating on you, they're beating you or lying to you." She glares in my direction and adds, "Or blackmailing you."
"Do you think Paul's cheating on you?" Debbie asks, setting Naomi off on another tearful jag.
The shades are drawn, and the lights are out. The room is dark, despite the fact that it's still bright and sunny outside. A single beam of light shines past the edge of the blinds, revealing the dust and smoke in the air. It's stuffy, and the air reeks of cheap wine and cigarette smoke.
And Cheryl's feet. I've changed clothes twice, but the smell of her - sweat, lotion and leather - still clings to me. There's a shot glass in my kitchen half full of water - Naomi tries to keep it full, but she sometimes forgets. Anyway, I splash myself with water, desperate to rid myself of that smell.
God, right now, I'd even endure a shower with Naomi if it meant I could be clean again.
The front door opens, filling the dining room and living room with sunlight. Naomi and Debbie throw their arms over their eyes to shut out the blinding light, and - I swear to God - Cheryl hisses like some kind of lizard.
Nicole and Kim come running in, slamming the door behind them.
"Ew, it stinks in here," Kim says, rubbing her eyes to adjust to the dark.
"We're hungry," Nicole says. "Can we go to McDonald's?"
"No," Naomi says tearfully. "Not right now, Nicole."
Nicole walks over to my house and nudges the wreckage of my car with her foot. "What happened to Ray's things?" she asks.
Naomi snaps, "Just go to your room!"
"But, I didn't do anything!" Nicole protests, looking to Kim for support.
"That's not fair," Kim replies loyally.
Cheryl stands up, staggering from all the wine. "Kim, you get your ass home right now," she says in a slurring voice. "I'll deal with you later."
Kim and Nicole both let out exasperated sighs and storm away. Kim goes out the front door, while Nicole heads for her room. Both doors slam almost in unison.
"I swear I'm gonna whip that girl's ass," Cheryl says, plopping back down. "She only gets like this when she's off her meds."
Naomi sighs. "I shouldn't have yelled at Nicole like that." She starts weeping uncontrollably. "She's the only one in this family that still loves me," she chokes out between sobs. Cheryl and Debbie rush over to her and do their best to comfort her. Of course, they're batting a thousand so far...
I can't stand drowning in all this misery any more, so I sneak out of my house and make my way down the hall to Nicole's closed door. It's a tight squeeze, but I manage to wriggle underneath it and into her room.
Nicole is lying sideways on her bed, her head hanging back towards me. Her long hair hangs down, brushing against the floor. She slams her sneakered foot against the wall, leaving a mark in the paint. She does it again and again, all the while muttering about the injustice of living in this family...
Tell me about it.
I approach her, and her upside down face actually breaks into a grin when she sees me. She rolls over and reaches down to pick me up.
"What's wrong with Momma?" she asks me, sitting up and holding me to her face. "She's in a really bad mood."
I nod. "She and Paul had a fight," I tell her. "Your aunt and Cheryl are trying to cheer her up, but they're not doing a very good job."
Nicole nods and scoots back on the bed. She lays down and sets me on her chest. I pace along the fabric of her t-shirt, growing acclimated to the way her chest rises and falls with each breath. I can feel her heartbeat faintly through the soles of my bare feet.
"What happened to your stuff? Did Momma smash it?"
"Yeah," I sigh.
"How come?"
God, where to start? "You'll have to ask her," I finally say, unable to think of an answer that doesn't involve blame of contorted Machiavellian proportions. I mean, what am I going to say? Your mom is mad because I found out she was having an affair and I blackmailed her? And that's why your stepdad left?
She sighs and toys idly with me with her fingers. "Momma told me that Suzy wouldn't be coming over any more."
"Yeah, I heard that too."
"Kim says its probably because Suzy gave you organisms."
I can't help it. I let out a short, harsh bark of a laugh. "Kim's a dumbass, and you'd probably sound a lot smarter if you didn't go around repeating her."
Nicole bends one leg and brings the other up to rest on it. She reaches up past me and slides off her sneaker. I glance at her damp, sweaty sock, then back at her with noticeable alarm on my face.
"What?" Nicole giggles. "I'm just taking off my shoes. I'm not going to do anything."
I look into her face, wanting so desperately to count her as my one friend in this household. I need somebody on my side right now.
And besides, I've got an idea brewing. God knows, I'm still paying for my last one, but I can't bear the thought of walking on eggshells, just waiting for Naomi to snap and punish me again.
Nicole crosses her other leg and pull off her other shoe. She wiggles her toes through her socks, and the odor of her sweaty feet lingers in the air. It's dank and unpleasant, but I try not to let my distaste show.
"It's really sad, isn't it?" I ask her in a voice laden with tragedy.
"Why?" she says, sitting up and catching me in the palm of her hand. She holds me up to her face. "What's sad?"
"I bet you've got a lot of friends here, don't you?"
She shrugs. "Some. Kim and Heather and Amy... and some of the kids at school."
"I had a lot of friends at SPECTRUM," I say. "When I had to leave them to move here, I was so sad I couldn't stop crying. I still miss them."
"I thought that place was bad," Nicole says. "Momma and Daddy said they did experiments on you and stuff."
"It was my home," I tell her. "I lived there my entire life, kind of like you have here. Right?"
Nicole shrugs. "We moved here when I was five, after Momma and Daddy got married."
"Do you like it here?" I ask her.
She nods. "Yeah, why?"
I sigh, feeling like a world class manipulative bastard. "Because, in another month and a half, we're all going to be moving to Midland."
She grins. "Oh, yeah! We're getting a great big house and..."
"And you'll have to leave all your friends behind," I tell her. "You'll have to go to a new school where you don't know anybody. And you won't get to see Kim or Heather or Amy..."
Her face hangs slack, as realization dawns. She sets me down on the bed and places her hands to her head in a melodramatic gesture. "I'd forgotten about that," she says in a quiet, dismal voice.
"And the only reason they're making you move is because of me," I tell her. "I just feel really guilty about it."
She regards me, gnawing on her bottom lip. I look up into her face, holding her gaze until her eyes begin to tear.
"I just wish there was something I could do," I say, walking up and touching her foot through her damp sock. Her massive toes flex at my touch, clenching and relaxing. "But as long as I'm here, you guys will have to move."
Nicole shakes her head. "I don't wanna move to Midland."
"I know, sweetheart," I tell her, still stroking her foot. The fabric of her sock clings to her toes, highlighting their shape as they slowly wiggle. "Plus, once we move to Midland, I won't be able to play with you anymore."
She flinches at this news. "What? How come?"
"Because I'll have to live at GenetiTech," I tell her. "They want to do experiments on me."
"But... but... that's why we took you from that other place," she says. "That's not fair!"
"I know," I say, laying my cheek on the edge of her foot. "I don't want to move, and you don't want to move. But as long as I stay here..."
I pause dramatically, letting the impact of the words sink in. Nicole is miserable now, which means my plan is working. I feel like such a heel.
"That's why your mom is so mad at me," I tell her in a flash of brilliant inspiration. I mean, hell. No point in being subtle. She's eleven, for Christ's sake. "I told her I didn't want to move to Midland, and she got really angry and stomped on my car."
Nicole is actually crying now. "It's not fair," she sobs. "I don't wanna go."
I let her cry for a few minutes, before I hold my hand in a Eureka gesture. "I've got it!" I call up to her, grinning as elatedly as I can manage. "I've got an idea!"
She wipes at her eyes. "What? What is it?"
"I know how we can fix it so that we don't have to move," I tell her. "It's perfect!" I lean in towards her, as if taking her into my confidence.
"What?" She's a little annoyed at my exuberance, but definitely curious. Perfect.
"Okay, here's what we do," I tell her. "You call Suzy and work out a time and place to meet," I tell her. "It'll have to be at night, after everybody else has gone to bed."
She looks at me, puzzled.
"When we get that worked out, I'll write a note," I tell her, "and leave it for Paul and Naomi to find. I'll say that I'm running away and heading back to SPECTRUM. And then, you take me to Suzy."
Nicole frowns, which isn't a good sign. "I don't know..."
"Yeah, it's perfect!" I tell her. "Just think. I'll be gone, which means the GenetiTech deal falls through, which means nobody has to move."
"But I don't want you to go live with Suzy," she says, shaking her head. "I want you to live with me."
I sigh and massage her toes. "I know, sweetheart. But this is almost as good. I'm sure Suzy won't mind if you come visit me."
She gnaws her lip again, mulling it over. Suddenly, her face breaks into a grin as she looks down at me. "Okay," she says. "I'll do it."
"Good," I say to her, nodding up to her. "Now remember, this has to be a secret. You can't tell your mom or dad, okay?"
"Okay, I know, I know!" she says, giggling as she peels off her sock and gleefully pins me beneath her bare foot. Her sweat clings to my skin, and the smell is unpleasant. But I endure her playful toes grasping at me with as much good humor as I can muster. I've just lied to her and blatantly manipulated her.
This is just penance, that's all.
I've spent about an hour climbing on Nicole's foot and playing between her toes when Naomi comes staggering in. The door flies open and bangs against the far wall, startling us both.
"Is Ray in here?" she asks angrily, her face flushed with wine. Her mouth is twisted into a horrible, mean scowl and her eyes, puffy and red from crying, glare narrowly around the room. She spots me and stomps over, snatching me up roughly from Nicole's foot.
"I thought you were tired, you little pervert," she snarls, pinching me tightly between her finger and thumb as she dangles me in front of her face. "If I'd known you were in the mood for feet, I woulda let Cheryl and Debbie keep playing with you."
"We were just playing," Nicole says, her voice trembling.
Naomi sighs furiously, letting her warm, sour breath wash over me. "Nicole, I swear to God, if I hear one more word out of you, I'm gonna tear your ass up."
"She didn't do anything!" I shout, pounding on Naomi's thumb.
"That's it, you little shit," she says through gritted teeth as she carries me out of Nicole's room and slams the door. "You're in time out." Her pale lips spread into a cruel smile as she carries me down the hallway.
"Listen, Naomi," I begin, but she silences me with a quick squeeze.
"I told you," she says as we enter the bedroom. "No backtalk." She sits down on the foot of the bed and glances down, past me.
"You really like feet, don't you?"
"Please!"
"Don't you?" she shouts, spit flying from her mouth. She clenches her fist tight for a second, causing me to cry out in pain.
"Yes, Momma," I gasp.
"Then you'll love this," she says, reaching down to the floor. She comes back up clutching a pair of panty hose in a wad. She brings her foot up and rests it on the bed.
"What are you... oh, God! Please!"
She lays me down on the bed, beneath her foot. Her toes pin me to the mattress, holding me in place as she untangles the hose. She finally gets them straightened out and shakes them a couple of times.
"Please..."
She ignores my plea as she picks me up and holds me over the open waist of her panty hose. She releases me and I plummet for what seems like an eternity. My flailing hands grab nylon, and I catch myself. My arms nearly wrench themselves from their sockets as I cling for dear life. Naomi shakes the hose a couple of times, then finally thumps me through the nylon to knock me loose. I fall again, finally landing in the toe section.
I feel her fingers through the nylon as she ties the hose in a knot. Then I'm dangling, swinging through the air as she carries them into her closet. She hangs them on a hook on the door. I can see her hazily through the tan fabric. I feel her hand beneath me as she cradles me through the nylon and lifts me to her face. "You stay here until I let you out," she says. "You try to escape, and I'll stomp the shit out of you. Understand?"
"Please let me out, Naomi," I plead once more. She lets me drop and turns to leave. I swing back and forth, brushing against the closet door, sobbing and struggling. I shout myself hoarse, begging her to come back. It finally becomes obvious that I'm here to stay, so I slump back against the fabric, dejected and defeated.
Giantess World
Homunculus by Cayce