New World: Past Tense

Ramona Part 1: Self Conscious

                Ramona stood in front of her mirror in her underwear with her arms spread out to either side in a t-pose. She inspected her arms and grimaced at the slab of flesh that hung off them. She swung them around in circles and watched as they swung back and forth. She let the drop to her side smacking her hips with a hard slap. Her hands then went toward her stomach and the modest bulge that resided there. She pressed her fingers into the soft mass and slowly slid them up towards her chest. As she continued to critique herself she couldn’t fight the truth that stared at her. She was fat.

                “Why didn’t I go out for sports!” she thought as she continued to stare dissatisfied at her reflection. She remembered her mother trying desperately to get her into ballet, volleyball, basketball, ANYTHING, but nothing stuck. She just didn’t have the aptitude for it. She was short, uncoordinated, and didn’t like to sweat, basically the exact opposite of her sister in every way. She loved her sister Mary to death but couldn’t help but feel a little resentment towards her. She was tall and athletic and seemed to inherit all their parent’s good qualities. She had mom’s beauty and dad’s height and shiny dark crimson hair. She on the other hand gotten everything else, dad’s pale complexion with mom’s short stature and fiery hair that people seemed to find off putting. Still she couldn’t say she was ugly. Mom’s beauty was still there it was just hidden under a layer of chunkiness and even that had some plusses. She groped her breasts in the mirror and smiled that was one thing Mary didn’t get from mom.

                Ramona continued to probe and scrutinize her body while making silly faces and taunting herself before she spied a dark fabric hanging off the side of her mattress. She sighed to herself.

                “Might as well get this over with.”

                She reached for the fabric and unfurled what was to be her graduation gown. It was a long dark navy gown with gold trimming made of some rough synthetic fabric. She scrunched her nose and gritted her teeth knowing without knowing what the outcome would be. She slid her arms in and went to work buttoning up the gown. When she got to the ponch of her stomach she had to fight to snap the button be it did fasten. She finished the buttons encountering the same problem again before finally standing to retrieve her cap and observe her handiwork. She wasn’t very pleased. She narrowed her eyes in disgust at the bump of her gut and chest. It was clearly a size too small. She took a deep breath and the already strained buttons snapped loose once again. She opened the inside collar and glanced at the tag. It was a medium. She told her mother she’d needed a large! Unfortunately Ramona’s body type put her in a strange category where she was too small and too large at the same time. The medium was clearly too tight but the large would just be humorous. Like a child wearing their parents clothing. Her mom was insistent that a large was out of the question but how was this any better?! She rather trip on stage then have her gown burst open.

                She frowned at herself and how silly she looked. “I’m sure the boys would love a free show on graduation day.” She deadpanned to herself. She twirled and sashayed in an attempt to look as sexy as possible. Her mind travelled the Greg and her memories of their time together. They had recently crossed the line and taken their relationship to the next level. He was very shy and closed off and it was still a little awkward with him but she was sure they just needed time. Maybe she would keep this after all and give him a special graduation present. She dropped her panties and unhooked her bra leaving herself naked except for her cap and gown. She went to her bed and retrieved a white sash with gold trimming and lettering that read “Valedictorian class of 2009”. She strode back to the mirror and tilted her cap to the side and brushed some hair to cover one eye. She squeezed her boobs together and laughed sure she looked like a porn star on the cover of some cheesy DVD.  

                “Hard Lessons number 15 : Graduation Groupies. “ She said to herself. Suddenly her door burst open.

                “Mom say’s come down for-“ Mary paused at the sight of her half naked sister one hand on her breast the other between her legs  staring back at her with a face as red as her hair. They hung there for a moment as time seemed to freeze.  “B-Breakfast is ready.”

                “…..please leave.” Ramona managed under her breath. Mary slowly pulled the door and it closed with an audible click. Ramona collapsed onto the floor covering her face with her hands sure she would die of embarrassment.

                Ramona peered out the window as houses and trees past her vision. The car was draped in that uncomfortable stillness that had been with her all morning. After Mary’s little intrusion breakfast was noticeably silent, better yet mom had been phoned by the hospital and had to head to work early leaving Mary to drive her to school. She knew the discomfort would pass it was just up to one of them to change the subject.

                “Soooo..how’s work?” Ramona asked. It was pretty low hanging fruit but that’s all she could think to ask.

                “It’s okay.” Mary answered. “The kids are sweet if a little rowdy sometimes.”

                “Really?” Ramona murmured trying desperately to sound more interested than she actually was.

                “One of them actually started flying around in the middle of a lecture.”

                “WHAT!” Ramona’s eyes snapped open with newfound interest.

                “He’s one of those new people you see on the news.”

                “The giant ones, they can fly now?!”

                “No that’s the weird thing. He’s still the same size.” Mary elaborated.

                The car went into another moment of silence. “How is Emily doing?” Ramona dared. “With everything?”

                “She’s doing as well as you'd expect.” Mary informed. “Her parent's are enrolling her sister in that new school their building up in the heights. “

                “That’s pretty crazy.” Ramona said. “I can’t even imagine if you suddenly grew to the size of a building. What’s happening to the world?”

                Suddenly the car came to a stop. “We’re here.” Mary chimed as she parked just outside Kinsington Public High school.

                “Thanks.” Ramona said as she exited the car. “And about this morning.”

                “What happened this morning?” Mary asked. Ramona paused in confusion before her older sister winked at her. “You really like him don’t you?”

                “I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Ramona denied.

                “He’s really lucky.”

                “I’m going now!” Ramona blurted her face red.

                She left her sister to walk up the steps and join the mass of other students entering the school. She looked up and could see the banner stretched across the building. “Congratulations Class of 2009”

                “Only three more weeks.” She thought with a smile.