I’d be lying if I told you that Andrew Jr. was the one who brings upon the screaming every time I try to show a girl my true form. I’d be lying if it was he who sent them away to mental institutes for post traumatic shock or now corrected to the ‘Andrew Lawson Disorder’. And what I’ve learnt from my curse and my long journey across Australia to find my cure is that lying only gets us into trouble. It’s trust that gets you a girlfriend.

So I’ll tell you the truth now. It isn’t Andrew Jr. who sends the girls screaming, running and committing suicide. Okay… maybe the fact that he isn’t human startles them just the slightest. But it is in fact my cursed form that sends them off the edge. Every time I step out of my exterior, my cocoon, I send them into insanity. It’s why I wait until I’m sure they love me enough. If I introduced myself and after let’s say, a day or so of dating then proceeded to dislodge my exterior’s neck from its body in order to say ‘hi’, then I’d literally send a few chicks running off cliffs or sky rises for dear life.

Because from what you’ve probably gathered, my cursed body is much different from your average teenager’s. I mean, why else would I live inside the skeleton of a robot replica of me? The answer lies right inside Emily’s description of the Andrew Lawson Disorder, round about where she mentioned the dude coming out of the other dude’s neck.

The tiny dude.

Yes, it was in fact Mist who cursed me into that state. Because my cursed self is small and weak. Something that doesn’t belong in a world of equal proportioned beings. That’s why I keep myself hidden as the interior, as I’ve said. It’s much easier and much safer to get a girl that way. And if, well, the curse never ends up getting broken, then I have a backup plan. Although, living permanently inside a blown up robot version of yourself at the height of four inches tall isn’t very appealing. I’ve already survived four years at this state and don’t think my brain would appreciate taking it all to the next level.

“That’s bogus!” I laugh forcefully through my exterior’s mouth. Emily’s lips curl into a cheeky sort of smile, which I can’t place. She tilts her head to the side, as if studying me… well, Andrew Jr.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t really think so, because my sister’s had the disorder and all, but…” Emily’s voice trails off, along with her smile. I bite my lip. That must mean…

I’m the reason her sister is insane.

“What’s her name?” I blurt out, through Andrew Jr.’s mouth.

Emily scrunches up her eyebrows, looking at me curiously. “It’s Megan.” She says.

I take a deep breath, staring blindly through the windows of my exterior’s eyes. I remember Megan. She was one of the first girls I tried to date. One of my first failures.

She had the loudest scream.

I swallow, before answering through Andrew Jr.’s mouth again. “I’m sorry. Is she okay now?”

Emily seems to perk up a little at the question. She nods her head. “Yeah, it’s cool now. She works as a psychologist up in Brisbane these days. Just finished the university degree.”

“Sounds good.” Andrew Jr. mumbles.

“Yeah…”

We don’t speak for a few minutes. A light wind rustles the leaves above us and some fall from the branches, surrounding my exterior in a makeshift circle. I want nothing more than to leave the control room and lean against the tree, un-cursed and carefree. I want to breathe in the air, the real air and not the stale stuff I get while I’m inside Andrew Jr.’s head. I want to walk around normally without having to worry about anything. Instead I’m cooped up in this soundproof, ice cold cockpit. And if I don’t find someone I truly love, it’ll stay this way for a long, long time.

“So you’ve just arrived in Hobart?” Emily’s voice catches me off guard and I straighten up in the captain’s seat, almost whacking my head against my steering wheel. The girl sits down again, across from Andrew Jr. and tugs a strand of her dark hair from out of her eyes. Her eyes are gentle. It calms me down a little.

“Yep.” I project through Andrew Jr. “I was just looking at enrolling in a boarding school, actually.” The words are long practiced, sentences I use much too often when travelling from place to place. Since I’m not yet graduated, in order to get a girlfriend, I have to get into school. It pretty much puts me in a good place with the public world. I’ve been going this way since the beginning of my journey.

“Really?” Emily asks with a smile. “I moved here about a week ago.” She breaks off for a minute, deep in thought. “I’m boarding at St Joseph’s there and don’t have a roommate, so…” she twirls a strand of hair in her fingers, almost flirtatiously. I can’t help but roll my eyes as I watch her. Emily takes a deep breath. “I could hook up something with the headmaster, if you wanted to move into my room.”

Andrew Jr. is quick to reply. “That’d be great, thanks.” He cracks a smile with his perfect teeth. It practically seals the deal. Emily grins back and stands up.

“Let’s get you enrolled then. It’s a co-ed school, by the way.” She says.

“Figured.” Andrew Jr. laughs back, causing Emily to blush. She gathers her shoulder bag under one arm and tugs up the sleeves of her thick striped sweater before beckoning me to follow. I obey, programming Andrew Jr. to stand and walk alongside her. Emily’s shoes clank against the concrete path as she moves. I wonder briefly why she’s wearing them. Her tiny feet and reed thin legs in their bunchy stockings barely support huge sandals like those. Emily reminds me of one of those quiet girls who isn’t popular, sporty or confident. Her body is tiny compared to Andrew Jr.’s, like a fragile doll’s. The dress she wears makes her look like a geeky princess.

I don’t think I’ll try dating her.

Judging by her knowledge of my ‘disorder’, I wouldn’t risk trying. She’d most likely uncover my secret even before I revealed it in person. I can’t afford to let something like that happen.

Emily leads me across a road separating the park from St Joseph’s boarding school and into the building itself. The school is much like the many I’ve been to in the past; simply furnished, brick and in need of a paint job. Inside, it’s musty, like an old library and the walls are painted an ugly yellow colour, with a floral white trim. There are two pot plants in the doorway.

“Wait outside.” Emily instructs, as we reach a doorway marked ‘reception’. “I’ll get you enrolled.”

I’m a little suspicious, by both her confidence in enrolling me, and her curiosity. No one’s ever seemed so intent on doing something for me before. It’s unnerving, the way Emily is acting. Maybe she’s just a desperate wannabe or something. Maybe she’s just seeking someone who happens to be male and robot?

Maybe she knows.

No, Andrew! I snap at myself as I scrutinise the girl from the control room of the exterior. She can’t know, can she? I bite my lip. If Emily knows about me, or at least has her suspicions, then I have to get out of here. That, or lay low. How could she have guessed, though? It’s not like I’ve told her right up that I’m not who she thinks I am…

Hang on.

Her sister.

Megan.

Megan knows about me. She would have told her what I look like. Okay, this isn’t good. Slowly, I back up, programming Andrew Jr. to be as quiet as possible. I have to get out of here. I have to get away from this girl. I’m about to slip through the front gate of the school when a small hand touches my exterior’s shoulder.

“It’s all sorted.” Emily announces. “You’re bunking with me.”