Dan was awoken to the sound of his roommate once more bustling about their apartment. He involuntarily groaned as he was pulled from sleep by the sound of Kat rushing about doing... something. It wasn't that he was having anything resembling a good dream, not that he could remember much of it, but he had finally been asleep.

Wiping his bleary eyes and pulling at his tired skin, Dan rolled over on to his side and grabbed at the alarm clock he kept on a bedside table. He squinted slightly to focus on the three simple numbers that read 9:13. Nine in the morning. Five hours at the most, that's how long he had gotten and his roommate had probably gotten even less. She had probably passed out in front of her laptop some time after he had gone to bed.

Dan frowned as he felt stirrings in his crotch. He couldn't help himself as he thought about her peacefully slumbering with headphones on, the dim light of a computer screen illumination her milky flesh. His hand worked on its own and he shamefully yanked it away.

Why couldn't she have just been unattractive? Or at least less attractive? Would an unsightly pimple or bad hair cut really kill this girl? He saw attractive girls like her with dumb hair cuts all the time. Dan knew that if she just shaved her head or better yet did that weird half shaved head, half-long hair thing it'd completely kill his physical attraction to her.

As he heard her running sneakers squeak against the hardwood floor though, he knew it wasn't going to happen. Kat like so many other women, like his own ex-wife, took outrageously good care of herself. Or at least outrageously good care of her appearance. The door opened and shut behind her as she presumably went out on her morning run.

Less than five hours of sleep and she was going for a run to start her day.

Dan couldn't even comprehend getting out of bed.

He sighed and stared down at his own body. It wasn't bad but it definitely wasn't good. Dan figured he could at least pride himself on the fact no one could use the phrase, 'let himself go,' to describe him. There was a little bit more fat here or there but it wasn't like he had some gut that left his crotch in perpetual shadow or something. He groped his own chest, trying to figure out if he had grown anything resembling man-boobs but he hadn't. Dan could probably eat a few more salads here or there, maybe work out more frequently but he wasn't completely out of shape.

He just wasn't going to drag himself out of bed to go running in August.

Dan actually found himself smiling as he realized it was Saturday. There was nowhere for him to be and nothing for him to do. No projects from work that had to be dealt with, no dumb get togethers or social events that would demand his time, and nothing wrong with the apartment that he needed to deal with. Plus, Saturday meant that Kat would be out taking an extra long run because that's what she did.

Fuck it, Dan thought as he rolled back over in bed, she might be able to function on only a few hours of sleep, but he certainly couldn't. Nor did he have to. Dan reached over and grabbed the second pillow he kept in bed. He hugged it tightly against him as he shut his eyes and let sleep take him once more.

The thudding of boots against the floor woke Dan up some time later. The sun was far brighter so Dan figured it was far closer to noon than it had been. He smacked his dry lips as he rolled over and squinted at his clock once more. His lips twisted in a smile when he read that it was a quarter to twelve. Dan twisted over onto his back and stretched slightly in bed, idly scratching himself as he heard Kat talking on the phone.

“You're here?” Her voice was high and sweet, perfect for a pretty young girl like her, “Ok. Cool. Do you want to come up or should I just come down and meet you guys?” She must have been talking to one of her pretty little friends on the phone. “Alright, yeah, let me just grab my bag and I'll be down in like... a couple of minutes? See you then.” Her boots crossed the room once more, presumably as she went to grab the plain tote bag she regularly used as a purse. “What? I don't think Dan would want to come. Do you want me to ask?” Dan's ears perked up at the mention of his name. Why would any of her friends even be thinking about him? “Oh, ok, I thought you meant you wanted him to come.” Kat laughed. Dan bit his lip, kicking himself for all the things he had thought in that brief moment. “Alright, well I'm heading down now, so I'll see you in like, thirty seconds.” He could hear her end the conversation before her boots once more thudded against the hardwood. “Brunch, brunch, brunch, brunch...” She chanted to herself in a sing-song voice, imitating the fanfare build up to the word Charge you'd hear in a baseball stadium.

The door opened and closed before she finished.

Dan sighed as he wondered what it would be like to be young and go to brunch with a bunch of people. Or better yet, to be his own age and go to brunch with people. His ex had always liked to go. She'd sit there with her bloody mary and it'd all look totally normal to most people. However her foot would be oh so carefully running along his thigh or against his crotch. No one had ever noticed, but it's not like she ever hid it.

She had stopped doing it about four or five months before they actually split up. Dan still missed it though nearly two years later.

It wasn't all bad though, Dan thought as he sat up in bed.

Sure, Kat and her friends were young and attractive and all that but that also meant they'd do the dumb things that young, attractive twenty somethings did in this city. They'd go somewhere and wait an hour for a table, then spend time deciding between all the overpriced specialty cocktails, then drink while they lazily looked over the menu, take pictures of the food, choose filters on Instagram, talk about anything and everything while they ate, and then quibble over how to split the bill. Afterward, inevitably someone would know someone who was bartending somewhere or of a band that was playing in a park or their roommate would be playing softball. Going out to brunch for Kat wasn't just an excuse for indulgent food and day drinking. It would be a multi-hour long affair.

Meaning that Dan had his apartment to himself.

Dan's underwear fell down around his feet the instant he stood up. He lazily yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it in the direction of his hamper as he walked to the door of his room and flung it open.

The living room was flooded with natural light from the large windows of his sixth story apartment. He turned, looking out on the East River and Manhattan beyond. He sauntered about the living room, his bare soles slapping loudly against the hardwood as he walked up to the windows. Dan looked toward all of the skyscrapers in Manhattan and waved his dick back and forth with a shake of his hips at them. “Take that Bloomberg!” He shouted for no reason. Dan didn't care about politics or the mayor, but it just felt like the thing to say when you were standing naked in front of New York City.

As Dan walked back he turned on his television, and switched its input to the computer he kept attached to it. With just a few clicks he had an episode of a show he had pirated playing across the large screen. Dan felt on top of the world as he swaggered over to his kitchen.

The late thirtysomething threw open his refrigerator door, and pushed aside all of the healthy crap that Kat filled it with; kale, avocados, every type of berry imaginable, grass-fed this, free-range that, and who knew what else. Finally, he got what he was looking for, a small carton of eggs and small package of bacon. Dan didn't cook much and when he did it mostly revolved around a quick artery-choking breakfast.

Within moments the whole apartment smelled of grease, butter, and bacon. Dan barely even attempted to prevent the grease from the pan from getting on his plate. He loved to gaze down at his shining slices of bacon and fried eggs while they sat in a small puddle of their own drippings. Satisfied that his breakfast was suitably unhealthy Dan sat down on his couch, and dug in while he watched his show.

Once he was finished, Dan leaned back into his couch and patted his slightly extended belly. He laughed as he looked down at the bulge, remembering that Kat always referred to it as a 'food baby.' As he sat there, he wondered if she'd ever thought about him the way he sometimes thought about her. Dan shook his head, he knew the answer of course, so why did he have to torture himself. Besides he didn't really want to do anything with her, then he'd lose a roommate to help pay for the mortgage and gain a younger girlfriend who was far less financially independent than any woman he had dated in the last ten or twelve years.

Dan rubbed his eyes, checking the clock as he debated watching another episode. He yawned as he decided against it, shutting off the computer and the television. When he stood, a wave of fatigue hit him like a ton of bricks. Dan closed his eyes tight and then opened them slowly, trying to will the sudden tiredness away.

It was most likely the heaviness of his meal but he felt like he could take a nap. Dan bent down, picking up his used dish and carrying it over into the kitchen. His feet and limbs felt heavy as he dragged himself across the apartment. It was like they were made of lead, Dan realized as he once more tried to blink away the fatigue that was overcoming him.

By the time he made it over to the sink, he needed to use the counter to actually support himself. What the hell was wrong with him? Dan thought through the sudden fog that clouded his mind. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Dan walked slowly along the counter top before he reached the end of it. His own bedroom wasn't very far, and his bed couldn't be much farther. Twenty steps all together at most. Yet as he stood there, his eyelids growing heavier by the minute, Dan wasn't sure if he'd actually make it.

Shakily, he took his first full step without the support of the counter to help balance him. The moment his hand couldn't grab a hold of something though, Dan fell face forward into the floor. As darkness overtook him once more, all Dan could think was that he wished he was wearing underwear.

The sound of distance thunder woke Dan.

But... it was still beautifully sunny as he opened his eyes.

It took him a moment to adjust to the bright light as he gazed out across the expanse of his hardwood floor. Dan blinked rapidly and squinted against the harsh late afternoon light. It didn't help that the windows were facing the sun, Dan thought as his eyes finally came into focus.

“What the... fuck?” Dan thought as he stared at the western wall of his apartment. It looked way too far away he realized. More importantly though it looked... way too tall.

Thunder rolled once more followed by a great crash. The thunder kept booming and soon the whole apartment seemed to be shaking. It was a constant rumbling as Dan tried to brace himself and rise to at least a kneeling position.

He looked every which way, trying to take in the sights. His entire apartment was all around him and it was huge. Gigantic in every proportion. Dan couldn't even comprehend most of what he was staring at.

The rumbling became more intense and he turned his head to find himself staring eye-to-toe with the worn black combat boots of his roommate. The enormous black leather monstrosities crashed against the hardwood with thunderous claps, her huge legs covering the vast distance that seemed to separate them as if it were nothing. Dan's eyes kept going up and up as he followed her long white legs to her plain jean shorts, her big flowing t-shirt, and her gigantic face. A face that was focused on the cellphone she had in her hands and not where she was walking.

“Kat!” He screamed at the top of his lungs jumping to a standing position.

Her booted foot sailed right over him, and he could only duck as the small heel almost clocked him on its way overhead. The thundering continued but the quakes grew less intense as she walked away, turning into her room, not even aware of how easily she had just stepped over Dan.

“Oh God, this can't be happening,” Dan said as he sat down on the massive plain that had, not that long ago, been the hardwood floor of his apartment.