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Can’t Compute

By

Asukafan2001

I always loved computers, I loved to build them, I loved to tinker with them, I loved to use them for all there various functions. I could remember the first time I ever saw a computer. My feelings could only be described as that feeling you got just after you learned how to ride your bike. That feeling of freedom and knowledge that there is a world beyond your block that you can now travel to, a place that is beyond what you call home. That love, that exploration that has pushed man to want more since the start of time. The sole purpose behind the finding of North and South America, the secret knowing that there is more out there, that just getting by isn’t enough, those simple truths are why I fell in love with computers. They unlocked a world that I hadn’t ever imagined, for the first time I was connected with the world. I could talk to people from anywhere in the world, I could buy things from any where; there was so much to learn, so much to do. I found myself immersing myself more and more as days went by. I began hating to go to little league, and pop warner football because it took away time that I could spend with my computers, but my parents pushed and forced me to continue playing sports.

It wasn’t so bad that they did, because they did I had lots of friends, I have had girlfriends and even have one at the moment. I am known around the school, I wouldn’t call myself popular but I wasn’t a nobody. Since my parents did push me I learned to balance my time between pleasure and business, between fun and duties which taught me values that everyone should know.

However, fate decided to intervene in my otherwise dull life. I was coming home from school, I had to make it home before my parents so I could at the very least get 30 minutes of computer time before they started cracking the whip. The old metaphorical whip, one of the many joys of living at home, no matter how old you are, you still have chores and rules. You would think that as you get older that you get less and less rules and chores but since you get older you only get more and more. The so called responsibility that you have always wanted is forced upon you and find out one simple truth. Responsibility sucks!

As I made it home that day, I looked down at my watch, it was 3:15. That time is engrained into me as it is the time that I will never forget. The time that fate wont ever let me live down. As 3:17 approached I was already in the computer room booting up the computer. As the computer loaded I looked out the window, seeing the driveway still empty I knew my sister, well sort of sister wasn’t home. I love her like a sister, and most of the time I don’t even think about the fact that she was adopted but that is really beside the point, like I was saying, I looked out the window and saw that Caroline or Cary as we call her wasn’t home and neither were mom and dad. I smiled as this ideal pleasure would be mine and mine alone to have. The computer loaded and I clicked on internet explorer. As I clicked I felt surge pass through my body. My body was lifted up off the ground and I slammed against hard floor.

I awoke not realizing I had even been on unconscious for the better part of an hour. I sat up expecting to see the computer monitor and I did see it only it was huge, huge doesn’t really describe it more like magnamous. Yes Magnamous describes it well because the word doesn’t exist. The size of thing just cannot be conveyed by words. It just kept going up and up, and up. I couldn’t even see the end.

One would think that this alone would be enough to give fate a chuckle and its jollies but no, fate needs more, fate is like orphan boy Oliver saying please sir may I have some more? Fate, begging and pleading for more, and much to my demise it submits to its own will.

A low rumble rolls across the floor like a cool breeze coming off the ocean. It’s not that noticeable at first but it increases in volume and power almost like clock work, it’s always at the same time, same pace, like a machine. The rumbling was all I could hear while my legs were going numb from the shaking. I find myself at the mercy of the beast. Fear, panic, excitement, all run through me as I catch a glance at the computer monitor again. I still can’t believe how huge it is. The rumbling and shaking ceases all at once, almost as if time itself had stopped, the air was thick, it was thick like my pea soup. The ground was filled with tension like it was about to burst at any moment. I darted my eyes around nervously catching the magnitude and vastness of everything around me as I turn 90 degrees I catch a wall of pink in the corner of my eyes. Still a bit puzzled as to what has happened to myself but knowing full well that there is nothing pink in this room my curiosity peaks. I start to turn faster as both my eyes focus on the pink structure in the corner of my eye. As I turn my vision fills with more and more pink. Then I hear a shrill, it almost sounds like an air leak followed by a grinding noise.

I look upward nervously part of me not wanting to but most of me not sure why I wouldn’t want too. As I look up my excitement dissipates into complete shock and fear. It’s Caroline! She’s just damn big is the only way to put it. The computer monitor I couldn’t describe but picture about 12 of those indescribable computer monitors sitting atop of each other and that’s about what I am seeing. It is now the full realization of what has happened to me passes through my brain. I shrunk, and while I had realized that I shrunk accepting it was still well off, which put barely being able to see the underside of Caroline’s chin not anywhere near the realm of ready to undertake acceptance.

Upon seeing Caroline like this I found myself with the knowledge of my size. I had to have been microscopic as the distance from where I was to her the underside of her chin looked to be about the distance from Earth to the Sun.

I had absolutely no idea how I was going to get her attention. I must say that jumping up and down like a lunatic seemed like a logical thing at the time but as I look back at it. It was probably one of the top ten dumbest things I have done in my life. As I leap around like a lunatic screaming and shouting hoping that somehow my voice would fall upon Cary’s ears I began to pay less and less attention to what was going on around me and more and more attention how to get her attention so as I leapt up I cared not where I landed only if my plight would work however as I landed I rolled my ankle and found myself tumbling off the side of the desk.

Everything whizzed around me but the fall was much shorter then I had suspected.

I landed on something grey, it was a plastic grey. In the middle of there looked to be some kind of writing but I couldn’t make it out. I stood up a bit shakily from the fall. As I looked around I could see row after row of similar elevated platforms with writing on each of them. I spun around a couple more times before it dawned on me. I was on the keyboard. Upon this realization there was decompression type noise which told me that Cary had sat down, and to make matters worse it was at the computer. Everything around me began to shake as she lifted the keyboard up. I found myself sliding off the key I was on. I grabbed the side of the key as my body slid over the edge. My fingers grinded into plastic, as my muscles strained trying to pull me up but I knew it was futile as I could never lift my own body weight. My adrenaline started pumping through my veins as my body clings to the side of the key. Something tempts me to look down but I force myself to look ahead not paying attention to my desires. I begin to think that I just might make it as I hold on. I start to swing from side to side hoping I can get one of my legs over the side. As I swing I start to just get my toe over the side of the key as Cary lets the keyboard drop the last inch onto her lap.

My body slams into the hard plastic. At first I think that I just might have made it back onto the key but as I look around I realize that I have not. Plastic posts stick up into the air like trees of a forest as I look around. The only difference I find is instead of a canopy of leaves I see a canopy of the keys of the keyboard. I take a few steps to the left so that I can see between two of the keys literally a mile or two above me. I can only manage to make out Cary’s pink top as I stare up at her from between the keys.

As she types I can hear the clicking and clacking of the keys resonating through my world. I cover my ears as I run through the maze of plastic posts looking for a way out. I wander around for seemingly hours as I can hear Cary in her usual position. I have seen it so many times, her head tilted to the right pressing her cell phone into her shoulder while she talks to one of her friends, she has her legs curled up under her and the keyboard resting in her lap as she chats to more friends online.

I finally come across some a droplet of soda. I look up to see Caroline setting down a can diet coke. Any other day I would be yelling at her but today I am thankful for her constant disobeying of the rules. I tare my clothes off and roll around in the sticky soda. I then throw myself at one of the plastic posts and smile as I stick. I can’t believe my luck. I slowly make my ascent back onto the top of the key.

As I make it to the top of key I find Caroline and gone and darkness shrouding the room. I couldn’t believe how long it took. I struggle to make out any of the objects at first but as my eyes adjust to the darkness everything begins to come into focus. I find that the keyboard is resting in chair probably where Cary left it.

The door the room then bursted open, the sound of my mother’s voice filled the room she was chatting with someone. I couldn’t see either my mom or who was with her but I knew I was in trouble.

“Thank you Mrs. Sanford for letting me use your computer. Ours is getting fixed”

“Oh it’s not a problem, the kids aren’t around tonight and I never use it, just make sure you lock the doors when you leave Grace.”

“Alright Mrs. Sanford thanks again, I appreciate it”

It was Grace from next door, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t ever had a wet dream about her before, because I had, quite a few actually. She has the most luscious ass, the cutest smile, a little heavy breasted something I never really liked but no one is perfect, I always enjoyed the way her brown hair swept across her face. I had seen her millions of times but as she came into view I wasn’t ready for how magnificent she looked. She had on blue jeans and a black sweater with a baby blue zig zag pattern across the center of it and on the sleeves. As she grabbed the key board I found myself sliding off the keys for the second time today as she grabbed the keyboard by the cord. I screamed for Grace as I slid off the key and fell. I was freefalling without a parachute and no hope for survival.

I didn’t think I would survive the fall but I did somehow. I didn’t even fall unconscious. I was just staring up at grace who had her back to me. I looked around seeing the padded cushion of the computer chair stretching out infinitely in all directions. Then her ass started lowering towards me. My eyes bugged out and mind began to run amuck. I take off running towards the edge but its almost like I am not even moving as Graces ass only looms closer and closer. I keep looking up hoping that this will all be some kind of horrible dream that I am going to wake up from but now I can smell the scent of Grace in the air. I put my hands up like I could somehow push her up and off of me if I wanted too. My body began to sink into the cushion as Graces ass pushed me deeper and deeper in until I had no where else to go. The cushion was at its maximum absorbance so it was no the chair itself forced to the cushion the blow. My ribs cracked and my eyes bugged out. I tried to scream but I had no air. I felt my legs break and smash first then my hips, I was unable to move a muscle but I found that nothing else was breaking. I used my hands to feel around and I found what had led to my survival. As Grace sat down I was in process of running to one of the button holes in the cushion, a small amount of luck finally fell on my side, however fate once again stepped into things. Grace slide her butt from side to side a bit trying to adjust and get comfortable that I was all it took. One my smashed legs got caught into a small microscopic thread loop that was jutting out from her jeans so as Grace adjusted herself I was drug of the button hole. As Grace rolled her weight back over towards me I knew this was it. I was going to die.

That was exactly how I got here. It’s funny how when you are about die that everything leading upto your demise runs through your head. I could feel the weight of Grace steadily increase as I could faintly hear You’re a God by Vertical Horizon. How fitting, I think to myself. It is at the very moment “I hear You’re a god, and I am not….”

I feel my body begin to expand a grow, at first the growth is only slow and gradual and soon its fast, I begin to get bigger and bigger, not now no not know I scream in my mind. As I get bigger and bigger the pressure on my body gets greater and greater, my chest finally bursts open spilling my blood and guts onto the seat cushion.

I find myself immobile completely. I realize this is death. I see Grace’s but dart up as she feels something, its me I think to myself. As she stands up and looks down at my remains I find myself still looking up and down at myself. This must be what death is. I look down at my destroyed body. My legs are mashed barley recognizable, my chest looks more like someone took a hammer to potato and my head is no where to be found. I was completely crushed by her ass, unbelievable.

It then dawned on me, I was dead. I begin to cry as I look soley look up at Grace as its much to painful to look down at myself. I then see her walk away, but I cant see where. I am not sure where I am but I seem to only be able to see this one spot. As Grace returns she has something in her hand but I can’t quite make out what.

“Thank god they scotch guarded the seat cushion. I would have felt bad if it had gotten stained, but it serves the dumb bug right. Crushed by my MIGHTY ASS” jokingly laughs Grace.

I couldn’t believe it. A Kleenex came rushing down towards my body. It was like at that moment I was forced back into my body as I all I could see was a canopy of white but I had no clue what I was looking up with or how. As the Kleenex mashes against me I can feel it begin to push all around me as she balls the Kleenex up.

“Perfect not even a stain. Thank the lord of scotch guarding”

I felt Grace toss me into the wastepaper basket next to the computer. I couldn’t believe that my body couldn’t even penetrate the scotch guarding of the cushion.

Over the next few hours I slowly succumb to death losing consciousness once and for all.

The End
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