- Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author note: This is an old story that has been lost for years. But I managed to find it.
GTS-Space Darwin Awards
Susan stood in front of the crowd. It consisted of people from all over GTS-Space and beyond. She cleared her throat and began to speak.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the GTS-Space Darwin awards. As you know the Darwin Awards are awarded to those individuals who kill themselves in a stupid manner therefore improving our gene pool. What makes these GTS-Space Darwin awards special is that our candidates killed themselves dealing with GTS-Goddesses and giantesses. So without further ado let’s introduce our first candidate.
General Jerk
Some of you my question why we have General Jerkins (better known as general Jerk) as one of our candidates since his world is not part of GTS-space. But since he died fighting GTS-Goddesses, we thought it fitting to include him.
General Jerkins was a general in the American army. He was in charge of keeping giantesses in check.
He had his first encounter with a GTS-goddess on May 10, 1997 in Cumberland, Maryland. He and his troops faced off against Jill Gilbert. His efforts to stop Jill ended in complete failure. Not only did he fail to stop her; he lost two soldiers in the attempt.
A sensible general would have realized that using military force against a GTS-goddess was a hopeless task. But not Jerkins, the very next day when the GTS-goddesses invaded Washington D.C., he was one of the first to engage them in battle. He did this despite the fact that Rita Smith sent a wave of giantesses for the task.
He sent wave after wave of soldiers after the GTS-Goddesses, but most of his troops got crushed to death. The ones that survived ran from the battleground.
Mad with rage, Jerkins decided to fight the GTS-goddess personally. He attacked the goddess closest to him, which happened to be Rose Crusher. She was strolling down "The Mall" when Jerkins jumped on her. Surprised to see a man so bold she stopped to see what he would do next. Jerkins climbed up her body (he was a good climber) until he reached her neck. He figured that her jugular vein would be a good spot to attack. He was wrong. He shot at it with his M-16, and hacked away with his knife, but he could not do any real damage.
"Are you finished?" Rose asked after he had stopped for breath. She then flicked him off like he was a bug. He probably died in the fall, but to make sure he was dead Rose Crusher then stepped on him.
Don Howard
Out next candidate is Don Howard from GTS-806, also known as Lois's world.
Don was a giantess fan. He dreamt of exploring GTS-goddess bodies. When he heard about Lois, the sleeping goddess, it seemed to be a dream come true. He arranged a trip to Green Hill, Ontario (where Lois was located) as soon as he could. When he got there he was shocked to discover that a smart shield, which prevented him and the other sickos from touching Lois, protected Lois. He could look at her 1000-foot body but couldn't touch it. Having spent good money getting to Ontario he was furious, he decided to shoot Lois. This was a serious blunder, for everyone knows that smart shields, reflect the force you put on them. The bullets reflected right back at him. Don later died of shotgun wounds caused by his own gun.
Edgar and the birthday band
Edgar was a daredevil looking for new stunts. When he heard that Darene's birthday was coming up he came up with a plan. As you know, Darene is a very unpredictable GTS-goddess. She is gentle one moment, and a bitch the next.
What Edgar decided to do was recruit the birthday band to sing "Happy Birthday" to Doreen. For some reason Edgar decided it would a good idea, to visit her at dawn and wake her up with the band singing the Birthday song. Now waking up a GTS-Goddess is never a good idea. It almost always puts them in a bad mood.
On March 10th Darene's birthday, Edgar and the band went in position on schedule. To make sure Darene could hear them, they used speakers borrowed from the "Wake the Dead" band. She heard them all right; she jumped hundreds of feet in the air before coming crashing down to earth. The impact knocked Edgar and his friends off their feet. Then Darene got up and stood up to her full height of 6000 feet.
"WHO DARES WAKE ME?" She bellowed.
Never one to back away from a confrontation Edgar replied.
"Edgar and the birthday band."
"I hate birthdays. They remind me that I'm getting older. For waking me up, you will die."
Edgar and the Birthday band tried running for their lives, but it's impossible to outrun a 6000-foot GTS-goddess. She easily crushed them to death with her massive foot.
Sarah
Not all our candidates are men. I'm sorry to say some women have made it to the list. Sarah Patterson is one of these women. She lived on GTS-403. A world where the local giantesses had a, don't crush women policy. Males were fair game, but women were untouchable. Then Rose Crusher decided to drop by for a visit.
Sarah was sunning herself in a local park when a huge shadow came over the park. Rose Crusher had come to town. The men fled from the scene, but the woman-stayed put. This puzzled Rose.
Sarah was annoyed; this stranger was blocking the sun.
"Excuse me, mind moving out of the sun?" Sarah asked Rose.
Surprised to hear a mortal speaks to her that way. Rose asked.
"Who the heck are you?"
"Sarah Patterson, I'm trying to get a tan."
"I refuse to move aside for a mortal. I'm even tempted to crush you to death, to make an example out of you."
"You can't crush me. I'm a woman." Sarah replied.
Rose's jaw dropped open, and then she started laughing. She then stepped on Sarah, and made sure she was crushed to death.
Sam
Have you heard of mega world? You know the world where everything is hundred times larger than it is here? Now anyone who goes there needs his or her head examined in my option. But giantess fans continue to go there. One of these fans was Sam.
Sam decided to visit the woman's dorm of one of mega's world many universities. The wormhole deposited him on the bed. Unfortunately for him, a 510-foot brunette and 580-foot redhead already occupied the bed. They were making love to each other. Sam was so interested in watching the lesbian lovemaking. That he made no attempt to get off the bed. This was a fatal error in judgement, for a few moments later the lovers changed position on the bed. The redhead sat where Sam was standing. She never found out she crushed a man that day.
Al
Our next candidate story is hard to believe. Al was a GTS-goddess hater. While there is nothing unusual in hating goddesses, he made no effort to hide the fact. He even organized a massive anti goddess rally. Right in the open they gathered and Al perched his anti goddess message. He even personally insulted the local GTS-goddess, a goddess of the name of Courtney Mack. What made thing even worse was that she was right behind him. Al was so wrapped up in his speech that he never heard her come up behind him. It was only when his audience started fleeing that he realized something was wrong. Then he heard a loud AHEM. He looked and nearly fainted at the sight. Courtney was looking down at him and she was not happy. She picked him up and brought him up to her face
"So you think I'm an empty head do you?" Courtney asked.
"I think you’re a fool for trying to rule the world." Al replied.
"Not as foolish as you. Prepare to be blown away."
Courtney then blew Al right off her hand. He did not survive the 1800-foot drop to the ground.
Harold
Our next candidate is one of those people who made a careless wish at Wishbone. He wished that every woman he saw would fall in love in him. As one can imagine he soon had a crowd of women casing him around all day. This went on for a week, then he ran into Alice Gabriel, who happens to be a 500-foot GTS-goddess. GTS-Goddess are woman too, so she fell in love with him the instant she saw him. Now Alice is normally a gentle goddess, but for some reason she decided to give him a great big hug. Harold's body got crushed to a bloody pulp under the pressure. To this day, Alice feels bad about crushing him to death.
Henri Gabriel
Our next candidate was one of those people who practiced the dangerous sport of GTS-Goddess climbing. Most people ask the GTS-Goddess permission before they start climbing, but not Henri. On a dare he decided to climb Virginia, a 3,000-foot redhead.
Virginia had a reputation of being a chatterbox, so Henri waited until she was busy talking to a group of people. Then he made his move.
The first part of the climb was relatively easy. It was on her leg, that he ran into problems. Virginia could feel something moving up her leg and without thinking she swatted it. Henri never saw her hand coming, within seconds all that remained of Henri, was a red spot on Virginia's left leg.
Mike
Our next candidate is Mike. He wanted to surprise his girlfriend. Her name was Vonda. He went to Wishbone and wished for her to become a GTS-goddess. She was surprised all right when the very next day she found herself 2000 feet tall.
"How am I going to live?" she whined. "I can't fit into my house or the local malls."
"But you got the world at your feet." Mike pointed out.
"I don't care. I want to be 5'8" again."
Mike went to Wishbone, only to be told that once a wish is made, it can't be taken back. Vonda was going to be GTS-goddess forever.
A smart guy would have made himself scarce, but Mike wasn't a smart guy. He went to Vonda and admitted that he was reasonable for her becoming a GTS-goddess.
"Change me back right now." Vonda demanded.
"I can't." Mike replied.
"You mean I'm going to be a freak forever?" Vonda asked.
"You’re a GTS-Goddess, not a freak. You should be happy."
"Happy? Did it ever occur to you that not every woman wants to be a GTS-goddess?"
"Not really." Mike replied.
"For ruining my life, I'm going to take your life."
Mike could tell by her tone of voice that she meant it. He tried running away, but like I said before, it's impossible to out run a GTS-goddess. She soon caught him and squished him like a bug.
Audience it's time to cast your votes. Which one of our candidates should win the Darwin award? To recap our candidates are:
General Jerk
Don Howard
Edgar and the birthday band
Sarah
Sam
Al
Harold
Henri Gabriel
Mike
It's time for a commercial break. When we come back we'll have the results of the vote.
To be continued
Conclusion
"We are back with the results of the votes. (How few they were) Which where interesting, for people had different opinions. Yet nobody voted for Edgar or the birthday band, or Sarah. To my surprise, Mike only got one vote. He had no concern for his girlfriends' wishes. If I had my say he would get the award. Moving on Al and Harold also got one vote each. Which means the winner is GENERAL JERK. He got two votes.
We would give the general his prize but he's already dead. (Sounds of laughter for the audience) You guys are a good crowd, good night everyone."
Susan watched the crowd leave. She was sorry her own ex-boy friend didn't make the list of candidates. He had the gull to believe that she would like being a 50-foot giantess. He was very wrong, and like Mike he paid for his mistake with his life.
The end for now