Hello my name is Brian Smith, and I have a completely bland and unoriginal name. Let me tell you about how I got eaten by a giant girl. That’s right I’m spoiling the ending!
It all started at my high school. That’s right I go to high school! Why, because it’s ok to fantasize about teenagers and not be called a pervert so long as they’re in high school. Also because high school has a lot of pseudo-classist drama involving made up groups like ‘Popular Vs. Unpopular’ and ‘Nerd Vs. Jock’ that make excellent excuses to commit cruel acts of rape, domination, and murder and then disguise the madness in the veil of adolescent immaturity. And while I’m here I should probably mention that I’m 17 this way I’m just under the legal age so that people can masturbate without feeling bad.
Anyways let me tell you about myself by listing my defining characteristics in one sentence with the passion of someone reading a soup label. I’m about 5’11 with brown hair and green eyes, and I like sports, partying, and video games so I’m basically the most bland and unoriginal person who ever lived. I also should mention that I’m not unpopular, but I’m not popular; I’m normal. I mention this because my perceived social standing is of great importance to the plot.
It all started on Friday. I was in science class, because weird phenomenon always occur in a high school science lab despite most of them being equipped with at the most ammonia and a couple of beakers.
You see I liked this girl. Her name was Sally. I can’t really explain why I liked her, but maybe if I describe her physically in one sentence you’ll like her too. She’s 17 has a beautiful body, with long blonde hair and soft baby blue eyes, and on this particular day she was wearing sandals with jeans and a pink shirt. See how appealing she is! She’s about as bland and replaceable as I am!
So we were sitting in class and it was the last class of the day, because it
absolutely has to be the last class otherwise I’d have to explain how she covered up my disappearance and that would make my brain hurt.
“OMG Brian I, like totally have a crush on you, please come to my house.” She said to me as the final students left the class.
Any other person would have been suspicious at this point, but for the sake of the plot I temporarily lose my ability to think rationally and agree to go to her house despite knowing nothing about her or her family.
“Yeah, sure” I said in the most unoriginal way possible.
“Here is my address and phone number, now come to my house and tell nobody where you’re going” she said seductively and licking her lips.
This kind of flirtatious behavior would be off-putting for anyone, and for the
average male would be a bit of a turn off, but I’m an idiot and so her slutty confrontational behavior only drives me to pursue her further.
Let’s skip ahead to her house because it’s all about the action.
So yeah I get to her house and I ring the doorbell. She opens the door and leads me up to her room. Also her parents aren’t there, but rather than focus on important things like that or if anyone (perhaps a neighbor) saw me enter the house I
focus on the only thing that matters; sex.
“Brian I like you a lot, you’re so tasty I could just eat you alive.” She said in a way no teenager would ever realistically talk while simultaneously spoiling her plans for the reader (that’s you).
“Wow I never realized you liked me Sally.” I said pointing out the obvious.
“Yeah I love you til death, and I know you like me as well. How would you like to become a part of me?” she said casually despite her words being really creepy, and basing her entire plan off of the assumption that I like her.
Rather than think about what she just said I answered yes for the sake of the plot.
“That’s, like totally great. I’ll go get everything I need, you go stand on that totally not suspicious plate in the corner of the room.” she said while pointing towards a digital looking device.
“Umm, what is this thing?” I ask and finally do something intelligent for once in my life.
“Nothing!” she answers before pressing a big red button on a remote.
“Ahhhh” I scream before falling into unconsciousness.
When I wake up I see her gigantic face hovering over me. It looks beautiful, amazing and detailed and all that good stuff. I also felt totally powerless, afraid, and at her mercy and all that good stuff.
“I AM GOING TO EAT YOU BRIAN, BUT NOT BEFORE I HAVE FUN WITH YOU” she says open-endedly in hopes that anyone still reading this garbage would leave a
review with their suggestions.
“But Sally Why? I thought you liked me?” I ask stupidly, not realizing that if she truly liked me she would have worked towards establishing a relationship with me rather than saying nothing to me up until today.
“BECAUSE YOU’RE UNPOPULAR AND A NERD, AND IF YOU’RE NOT BUYING THAT EXCUSE THAN IT’S BECAUSE I’M INSANE AND LIKE TO EAT PEOPLE, AND IF YOU’RE NOT BUYING THAT EXCUSE THAN IT’S BECAUSE THE WRITER WANTS TO SEE PEOPLE EATEN DAMMIT!” she explained.
“No Sally please! Don’t hurt me, and for the love of god stop speaking in capital letters” I pleaded desperately.
“NEVER! IF I DON’T SPEAK IN CAPITOL LETTERS THAN NOBODY WILL KNOW IM A GIANTESS” she explained.
“But, sally we already know you’re a giantess. All you’re doing is making seem like your yelling.” I pleaded again to no avail.
“SHUTUP AND LICK MY FEET” she declared.
I screamed and fought back as hard as I could. There was no way I was going to lick her feet. Come to think of it the average girl doesn’t even have any desire to have her feet licked, and she just mentioned she was going to eat me, that’s disgusting.
“LICK THEM NOW. I WANNA FEEL YOUR TOUNGE.” she commanded unromantically in a booming voice.
“Oh god it tastes like sweat, grime, and shoe leather as I expected.” I cried as I licked her salty moist foot.
“OMG I AM SO HOT RIGHT NOW, YOUR GOING TO BE MY DILDO” she said without modesty.
“Oh god no, just kill me now Sally. I don’t wanna hear your stupid voice and its unnecessary capitalization ever again” I begged as she removed her jeans and
Her moist pussy glistened with fresh discharge and I felt disgusted, belittled, and humiliated and all that good stuff. She spread her lips wide with her fingers and
slowly lowered me into her dark damp insides.
“OH FUCK YEAH” she moaned generically as my body brushed up against her clit.
The next 30 minutes were pure torture. I was shoved in and out without mercy or concern for my health or hers apparently seeing as I was going to be eaten. The heat was intense and I felt my bones begin to break as she squeezed harder with
every passing moment, and blah blah blah you know how this goes.
“AHHHHH” she screamed out finally using capitalization correctly for once.
I was thrown from her red hot pussy into her awaiting hand along with several gallons of ejaculate. I sputtered and coughed up the caustic fluids that had entered my
body before struggling to my feet. I turned around and got a boner when I saw her naked body spread out across the bed like a mountain.
“RUN UP MY BODY AND LICK MY TITS YOU SEXY LITTLE MAN” she commanded in a soft seductive voice that is impossible to infer from this sentence due to it being entirely capitalized.
“Yes Sally” I agreed rather than running from her while she is exhausted and
possibly escaping and getting help.
I ran up and began to lick her hard nipples that were as large as something that by comparison would be big. They twitched as I hit nerves in her body and in no
time she began to secrete milk.
“Sally I didn’t know you were pregnant seeing as that’s the only way women produces milk” I asked as she placed me on the floor of her room.
“IM NOT BUT SCREW SEXUAL ACCURACY! PLOT CONVENIENCE TAKES HIGHER PRIORITY. NOW HERES MY LITTLE SISTER WHO IS OF QUESTIONABLE AGE SHE IS GOING TO PLAY WITH YOU WHILE I WASH UP.” She said before walking out of the room.
“Hello tiny person who I will now unoriginally call ‘buggy’ despite the fact that you do not look or act like a bug.” said a giant girl of questionable age.
“Umm… hello” I said nervously unsure of what she was going to do with me.
Then another giant person walked into the room, this time a boy of questionable age.
“Oh wow you look like an action figure” he said with excitement and making the world’s most obvious comparison.
“We’re going to do what I saw my older brother do with a girl, he calls it ‘The
horizontal Happy Dance’” he said as he removed his clothes.
“That’s… not… a smart I…idea” I stuttered in a pathetic attempt to explain how fucked up this situation is.
“How do you play it?” said Sally’s sister who was of questionable age
“I stick my wee wee in your little hole” he said in the most obvious and yet
stereotypically innocent way possible.
“what happens to me?” I asked.
“I don’t know what to do so I’m going to stick you on the end of my wang with this rubber band” he said with logic so terrible that even a dog could refute his
statement assuming dogs could talk.
“Stop it, no!” I begged as I was pressed into his fat cock and restrained with the rubber band.
“why should I?” he asked in an amused voice.
“Because the rubber band is going to burn your skin and hers if you try to stick it in and will probably come loose anyways. Also regardless of whether this is
described in detail or not if this story was a movie or even just a picture it would be considered kiddy porn.” I explained.
“OH YEAH YOUR RIGHT, THIS IS TO FUCKED UP” said Sally who returned suddenly before kicking her little sister and her friend out of her room.
“Are you going to eat me now and this this stupid parody” I asked.
“YES I AM” she declared proudly before licking her lips and spreading warm saliva all over her face.
“Wait a second! I have been forced to lick and massage your soiled dirty feet, placed inside your vagina, on your unwashed breasts, and tied to somebody’s probably
unwashed cock. Do you REALLY want to put me in your mouth.” I asked cleverly while simultaneously demonstrating the proper use of capitalization.
“YES I AM, BECAUSE YOU HAD TO GO AND SPOIL IT IN THE BEGINNING SO NOW I HAVE TO” she declared.
“Noooo” I screamed and cursed my fate.
She lowered me into her awaiting maw, and placed me on her tongue. I was drenched in saliva and was whipped around until I was in a state of submission. Then she pushed me to the back of her mouth and finally swallowed.
“HAHA I HAVE SWALLOWED YOU BRI… ACK!!!” she said before she began to choke.
She flailed pitifully around the room in a desperate attempt to survive, but sadly failed to dislodge me from her throat with her spasms.
In the end I survived to tell you this tale because she forgot how to chew her food, and decided for whatever reason to swallow me whole. Oh yeah and her little
sister kidnapped me and I’m in her doll house so… yeah that happened as well.
I guess the moral of the story is…
1) Don’t describe your characters physically in one sentence. It’s lazy and takes the reader out of the story, and it makes it sound like one character is reporting the other to the police.
2)Don’t capitalize a person’s speech unless their shouting. We understand perfectly well that they are giant sized and that their voices are loud. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t.
3)Don’t use bland and easily refutable reasons to explain why a character does something. Instead, come up with realistic motivations for each characters actions.
4)Sexual accuracy. That is all.
5)For the love of god don’t sexualize children, but if you do PLEASE don’t make them stereotypically innocent. That just makes it even worse.
6)Lastly never make joke stories as you will be heavily criticized for making one.