however, i couldn't get more than my head past her lips when i was rudely pulled out.
"hey! what gives?" i asked. i answer my own question when i look at the doorway and see a shocked looking woman standing there. "'sup" i say.
"there's an invasion. you," she says pointing at me, "need to go with the rest of the men."
"sorry chica." i reply, donning my mid-evil style clothes, "i got a name to make for myself." i push the glass on Tinas bedside table to the limestone floor, grab a shard, and run out the door.
when i get to the main room, it's chaos. bodies, tables, blood, (oh my), fruit. speaking of, i grab a piece to munch on, while i think out my plan. first things first, cover. i duck under a low table where they cant see me. then i work on how to take them down, "come on Noble' i think to myself, 'what do you know, the highest i can reach is their knees. i cant kill them at my size. so how do i take them down? what's their achelles heel?' at that moment, it hit me. i took a deep breath and dashed to the nearest woman. when i reached her, i slashed her tendon and then ran to a turned over table, repeating the action with each lady i encountered.
i jumped over the table, a good ten feet mind you, and found it occupied, by an enemy. i stabbed her in the head before she could alert her comrades.
i caught my breath and dashed back towards my first hiding place. i took down one... two... three... four... five- and i was flat on my face with something on my back holding me down. my weapon skittered away.
"well well well," a voice above me said, "looks like a caught a rat, or something the size of one."
"i am the size of a small chiuaua, thank you very much." i replyed. suddenly i was facing upward. i started to laugh. i assumed she was the leader, because of her clothes. she was wearing red while the rest were wearing green. from my knowledge of the dark ages, i guessed it was to hide any blood.
"whats so funny, bug?" she growled.
"i can see up your skirt, and you're wet." i busted out laughing again. she blushed a deep red, that matched her clothes.
her grip on me loosened, i dashed out from under her foot and got my shank. i ran at her, slashed her acheiles tendon. after she fell on her back, i cut the tendons under her armpits, making it hurt like shit for her to move her arms.
"I AM NOBLE, GIANT SLAYER FEAR ME!!!" i screamed, standing on her flat chest. everyone looked at me, after seeing what i did to their leader, the rest of the women fled.
i looked at the leader and said, with a big grin, "You are now, my bitch."
she looked like she was about to cry, "what are going to do to me?" she whimpered.
i looked at her in disgust, "how can you lay there and cry. what defines a leader isn't what she does when her women are around, it's what she does when they aren't. if you troops could see you now. if you're going to die, die with dignity."
she responds with this, "i cant believe i'm saying this to a man but, thank you." she cringed when she said these last two words, "i needed that"
jumping off her chest i said, "no problem."
i walked to Tina and said, "i think i deserve an explanation."

"it all began a long time ago" Tina started, "things weren't at all like the way they are today, men and women got along just fine. untill one day, at a bed and breakfast that welcomed both men and women, one of the hostesses got tired of a man that complained about the food. she ate him. it gave her a wonderful feeling, a feeling of power. soon the rest of the women there started torturing the men. and it spread like wildfire. soon it was a law that all men were slaves.
"then, about two centurys later, a slave trader saw a man that she had caught. he was nothing special, except for the fact that he was just sitting quietly in the trap. this interested her greatly, she asked him why he wasn't trying to get out and he said this: 'i have been a slave for over thirty years. about every five years, i manage to escape, only to be caught the next day. so I've finally come to my senses. its no use trying to escape.'
"the trader was touched by his story so she decided to start a resistance. she gathered a few of the known 'gentles', thats the street term for the people who were against slavery. they called themselves the caretakers. that's what this group is.
"a few decades ago, there was a prophecy that said 'a chosen one shall appear, and fear nothing, they shall stand two high, and will move and strike like a snake, and have the the strength of twenty' of course we were expecting someone taller and a woman. i guess we still have a feeling of superiority to get over, huh?"
i stand there, shocked, "so what you're saying is, I'm the chosen one," a smile creeps up onto my face, "awsomeness".