Giantess World
Author's Chapter Notes:
Yeah, she got one of those red/cyan glasses and now sees everything in 3D, wouldn't you know...
As days passed, Kate grew increasingly worried about Rachel. She keeps trying to convince herself that everything is okay, maybe there is simply so much to do with that emergency id, that Rachel had no time to talk to her... But not even a mesg? Not to mention that she wanted to talk to Gary, learn more about what he may know about facility and shutdown.
When Kate woke up in medbed after her realizations, Rachel tried to comfort her. Told her that she already has a plan, that it will greatly help her - she only needs several hours to prepare and she will contact her. It sounded simple, so Kate waited. She was worried about the people especially after Rachel's warnings. Even though she had no idea of what kind of danger they may be in, she wanted to stay with them, as if to protect them.
She thought about what Rachel spoke a lot. After Kate woke up, she was back to her usual motherly calmness and there was no way to get anything more out of her. It's not like Kate needed to, just.. at least knowing what kind of dangers are there would be helpful. That's what she thought, at least. But Rachel only kept telling her that the less she knows the better, that she learned too much already and Kate even felt angry about this. At Rachel for not telling her more, at others for making her life this way and... at herself for being so ignorant all her life.
As time passed, only the last part remained. Of course she would give away that she knows about what she shouldn't. They would ridicule her just like they did Rachel and... Kate was unsure what would happen then, but she believed the warning. This was the first time she has seen any mother so agitated and she learned that Rachel was never joking like this. So she just tried to stay in the chamber, hoping that maybe nothing will happen if she is there.
She spent most of the time talking to Gary and others she was told that there were several more ex-caretakers in there as well, although they moved in a long time before the shutdown. The idea of immigrating confused her at first. Why would anybody do that? - she even asked, but after some discussions she learned that things were completely different earlier. For starters, caretakers were not allowed into any live chambers before the talk with Rachel she wouldn't have believed that, but now... it makes perfect sense.
She also thought why they haven't simply told her about this before, but then realized that she would not have taken it seriously either... A full-size caretaker huh? So that's why you flew into my ear... - Kate could almost hear herself respond in her thoughts. But then thought it may be worse than that they may simply haven't realized that she may be unaware of all this. It was so obvious when they explained! She wondered whether this is something that may give her away, but... needed to understand even if this knowledge would cause problems.
And Kate also liked talking to various people she wanted to learn all the little details of their lives, their daily routine, especially how is it different from life in the facility... that's why she mostly spoke to several ex-caretakers. She could recognize most of their voices after a couple days Angela, John, Henry, Jacob, Christina like one of the firsts she thought, Anthony, David and Dave.. although she can swear the last two had exactly the same voice.
There are several more, but they rarely talked to her not to mention that after meeting somebody new, Kate was always thinking that there are millions more... Forty five millions of people with their own personalities, their own stories knowing them all is obviously impossible. But she wants to show them how she cares about them. Even if she is the only caretaker except Rachel to do this.
The only problem is that they don't seem to be completely open when talking to her like they were afraid, even despite her reassurances although she tries to keep them to the minimum after Gary explained her how immature it sounds. At least he is still reasonably talkative but still less than on the first day. Like he re-thought his situation.. or perhaps he was simply very excited on the first day?
Or perhaps it was her Kate wasn't taking him seriously before the talk with Rachel. Afterwards it was simply.. another ancient person, like mothers. Maybe he was always just like the others and she simply mistook him for more frivolous right after his stunt? Perhaps they were all like the governor or James, not some strange function, but a person it is how she tries to think about them now. Not a mass of indistinguishable dots, but human beings with emotions, lives and ideas exactly like her. He was always like this, maybe it's just how they are raised?
It doesn't matter for Kate, really but she has tried asking why don't they tell her more about themselves and even has made absolutely sure that they understand that they don't have to talk with her, if they don't want to. For whatever reason that may be - she even underlined. Their verbosity hasn't changed, so Kate assumed they must simply be like that. Still, it would be nice for her to be able to talk to somebody openly...
One of the few things they asked on their own and it felt a bit strange when James just asked about it with no apparent reason only a couple days after visit to Rachel was if Kate expects them to make some clothes for her. Of course she told them that she couldn't do that and they don't need to worry, but.. once he started explaining how it is not a big problem and can be manufactured fairly automatically she remembered the advice from Rachel.
Maintain the externals - still rang in Kate's head, so she agreed that they may prepare a simple dress. Nothing too fancy, just a simple one piece waist dress. She discussed the details with some designers, unfortunately she failed to remember their names but they asked so many questions about her preferences.. Kate didn't really have any... Eventually they started explaining some ideas, but she could only conclude that whatever they come up with will be fine.
Kate has also asked if she can help in any way. She kept offering it in many occasions. She wasn't constantly watching the counter anymore, but once she noticed there was a small decrease in the population. At first she assumed it must have been her and remained absolutely still while asking if something happened, but after some uncertainty to what she may refer to John assured her that was not the case and it was a fire in some distant city which caused some casualties.
She didn't notice how many it was, but it seemed serious. She also didn't know what a fire coule be and only after he explained her how burning and smoke work, Kate realized that she is actually fairly familiar with the concept it was a fairly common sight in any parties and fun times she used to participate in. Of course she didn't tell him that even the memories of what she used to do with micros now seem monstrous...
When Kate offered to help, he seemed confused about it even called Gary in and in the end they figured that there wasn't anything she could do they haven't told her, but it became obvious to Kate that she would only make things worse. Just like everything she did in there. She still cannot forget all the deaths after her arrival, all the people she killed... Back then she didn't see it as much more than the counter drop, but now.. she grieves every single one of them.
At least she could help them with the clothes. When the designers explained how it will take about three weeks to manufacture the necessary material to match her curves, she figured that she can drop a couple pounds hopefully making the required amount smaller. They greeted the idea with much enthusiasm although the reasons escaped her and so Kate settled on a high metabolism diet combined with some exercise throughout the day. Kate had only heard about how to induce it, but fortunately medbeds in the facility were fairly simple to use and she quickly figured it out.
There were some problems with it though. The food supplements and hormones she took made her more anxious. Gary even asked her if there is anything wrong, when she must have seemed upset and Kate explained it he stated that We better not excite you anymore then.. she was crouching down and threw her hands forward to object any kind of special behavior from them, but... also realized that with this action she confirmed his suggestion. Gary had asked her not to make any fast moves nearby the edges of the spot, as a simple precaution and she agreed, of course, just.. sometimes forgot about it.
Luckily Kate quickly learned that nothing happened, although she apologized nonetheless. At least Gary seemed a bit more content after it. Perhaps they are simply worried about her? Maybe with time they will see that she really understands and will behave more openly? Kate considered explaining them how she felt after talking to Rachel, but.. there wasn't anything that she could add to her earlier revelation after all, it is so obvious now. What could she say?
Should she clarify how she thought of them as some sort of curious species that Amber called the people in school once? Kate also feels bad about that moment.. Rachel brought them to one of her empty zones and tried to show the basics on the micros reproduction. Each of the girls was given a tiny, maybe half inch monitor displaying an image from the people Nicole concluded it with casual carelessness magnified micros, how cute!, but Amber responded: No, look they are like little people there
Was it how Rachel tried to suggest them the truth? It seemed so roundabout way of explaining it, but.. if they really are endangered by the sole knowledge of it... Still Kate felt so stupid for not realizing everything back then. It was so obvious but she couldn't stop thinking about micros in categories of moving dots.
Of course if wouldn't comfort the people that she understands now - what were they for her earlier then? The only way she can show them that she cares is by her actions. But.. there is simply nothing she can do. Even more food synthesizers would be unnecessary, as they explained that those seven are already more than they can reasonably use for now although she is trying to schedule another job anyway.
Kate feels so.. powerless right now. She cannot help the people in any way, she cannot protect them... She doesn't even know what it is she should look out for. She just.. sits there for most of the time. Talking to whoever wants to speak with her, sometimes listens to music or some stories they have and tries not to worry herself too much about the silence from Rachel. But even the fact that she is constantly in private mode is disturbing.
But now, more than ten days after the discussion with Rachel, she is waiting until dark just like James asked her to. Apparently he has something to show her which only works after sunset. Kate wonders if it's like the fireworks she saw a week back they were pretty, but.. it surely made much bigger impression on the people down below. Even if she was lying down on her back, they seemed fairly close and small well, just like everything else here after all. Still, it was nice a colorful show of different shapes and forms.
So Kate just lays on her belly remembering things and considers what may lie ahead for her. It all looks so.. peaceful. Even with her chin almost on the ground she can easily see several cities in the distance slowly lighting up as the artificial sun is setting. So quiet.. obviously they are teeming with life in both day and night, but it seems more calm now. So beautiful...
What kind of monster does it take to destroy their lives and for what? Some fun? The girls didn't even know what they are doing! Kate can see Lauren's words in the completely different light now, obviously she knows... Just like Rachel said - they. But why not explain the girls everything? Why only speak about using the micros and patience. And even then how can Lauren simply use them like...
But then of course that was the point.. just like the micros. Who would care about them they were not killing people, just micros... who have no hopes or dreams. How arrogant and hypocritical they are to do this. If they lied about all this, they must be desperate to maintain the deceit. Just like Rachel said.. if they threatened to remove her privileges, they may take away Kate's chamber and give it to.. No! I will not let this happen! - Kate promises herself.
But she is also aware that if Rachel's fears are justified, there may not be much she can do and while she considers the ways of concealing her knowledge, the blinking light on the blimp suggests reminds her that she is not wearing any headphone. Slowly rising up she looks around and finds one just on the edge of her spot.
Hey, sorry.. I was daydreaming what's up? - Kate speaks softly while putting it on. It's already dark and she doesn't want to disturb everybody still being aware that her voice will reach every corner of the zone over time...
Miss Kate, how nice to hear from you - she rarely spoke with James just like that, he.. always seemed to have other matters to attend to - We were wondering if we could take a moment of your time to demonstrate a little project of ours - mannerly, yet distant, just like always.
Of course, what should I do?
We have a platform set up in the south-west corner, we'd be delighted if you could approach us - that's something new, they haven't done anything like that since.. just before the Nicole's graduation.
Sure.. - she manages to mutter and rises up carefully. Looking into the direction Kate can clearly see it already a podium of some kind with some sort of.. vertical rectangle behind it, both clearly lit. She even thinks how she may have missed it earlier in the day, but then she never really examined that part it was the closest one to the edges of the zone and no cities or bigger towns were in that area and the remaining villages were mostly evacuated and automated. Just in case.
After several careful steps she is already next to it she was on almost opposite part of her spot and doesn't even wait for request to lay down in front of the structure. The platform is about inch by inch square and rectangle is maybe less than three inches high but almost four inches wide. Her expression must be very curious, as James begins to explain just when she settles on the ground:
The strange thing behind the platform, my Lady, is a screen to reflect light from a series of projectors that... - and continues to explain some details of the contraptions they came up with apparently no modern technology was able to provide a reliable way of what they wanted to show her and they had to fall back to ancient lamps and something called LCD filters.
Well, what is is you wanted to show me? - Kate asks carefully, eager to see it but also trying not to blow anybody from the platform. She could see at least several people on the white, well illuminated surface.
After several seconds, she can see the lights dimming softly and the rectangle behind it light up and... display an image of a face? No, it must be some kind of recording, because..
It is so nice to finally meet you face to face, or at least the closest we can get in this situation - she hears James speak and can see the face's lips moving in sync. His face?
Um, hi.. - she whispers and examines the view carefully. Behind him on the screen she can see a whitish surface and a corner of large rectangle.. it must be him on the platform! Of course she cannot see any details on it, but it is the only explanation. And on the screen his face looks.. different, unlike anybody she has ever seen rough and uneven, with several stains on it. And he has.. hair over his mouth? Other than that and the eyebrows he does not have any hair is this how men look like? There is some kind of ornament or a device on the side of his head, next to the left eye.
And he is looking directly at her it seems and the view slowly shrinks, as if camera - was that the word? - was moving away. Kate can see a plain dark green shirt, with six stars, half on each of his shoulder whatever they mean. As the view broadens, Kate can see he is definitely differently built than any woman she has seen broad shoulders, wide flat chest with two pockets, thick arms and legs the latter in matching trousers. If Rachel haven't explained her, she would be shocked how similar the little people are to them. Kate still is surprised to know and to see are two different things...
I know it may seem strange - James speaks again - but I would appreciate if you could place your finger on the left side of the platform and points the direction with his hand. They are on the right side and there is plenty of space to do it, but Kate is unsure what he may intend to do... Still, she is both astonished and curious at the same time, so very carefully moves her left hand a bit forward with her pointing finger straightened.
Placing the very tip on the podium, Kate notices how both the view and James shake to maintain balance, but she doesn't say anything, trying not to disturb them more. Without a word, they begin walking towards the finger. She cannot see it on the screen since the camera is facing the back, but she figures that it will be obviously dwarfing them judging how they look on the platform...
But she isn't prepared for a humongous pink wall when camera rotates and shows that even the fingerprints are bigger than James... Again, it is one thing to imagine and another to see it comes as such a shock, that she instinctively moves her finger up and back which causes the camera and James to fly pulled with the air.
Kate is afraid if anything happened to them but she can see the view return to normal and James standing up. She softly apologizes for it, but James interrupts her:
No, no it's okay, we're fine. If you could lower your finger again please...
But.. I can't... - if she just puts it down, it would crush them - I have nowhere to...
There is plenty of room around here - he points the corner closer to Kate. She thinks what he may be trying to accomplish, but decides to just follow the instruction.
Okay, but.. don't approach it, please, I fear I may... - she finally mutters an unfinished sentence and very carefully positions the finger right on the corner. It seems that even her vicinity is a deadly threat to them...
Naturally, but in the meantime I would like you to meet some friends you spoke with recently - he turns towards the edge and the view changes suddenly - Please allow me to show things from my perspective now - whoever must have been recording him earlier moves into the view.
Kate can see it must also be a man since the body build is also different from any women. He has normal hair on his head but none otherwise, wears similar plain uniform but colored light blue and no stars - he also has a device on his head, perhaps he was using it to record it, but.. he seems smaller than James... Kate didn't realize that earlier the view on the screen seemed like he was looking up to him at all times.
The brave gentleman here is Gary, which you may remember from his aural adventure... - Kate can only let out a shy hi and James continues - and we should see several others coming from the back... - he rotates - Oh yes, there they are - Kate can see the screen showing several figures far in the distance, looking down they are just several dots approaching slowly.
She meets Henry, Christina and Jolie in a similar way, although this time without references to their stunts. The women have more familiar body parts ratios, but Kate can only welcome them briefly. She thinks if she would have believed this without explanation from Rachel.. they seem so... human. But Kate grew up treating micros like something different than them, would she see this as some kind of trick? It was obvious now, but...
But... then, after introducing the guests all of whom were shorter than James, it seems he turns towards her. She was already used to the idea that the screen shows exactly what he can see she even noticed arms and hands gesticulating towards others as he explained their names, but...
When Kate sees herself, the view is just... unreal.
Kate's finger dominates the perspective, like some enormous structure she can even see the underside of her fingernail far away over the edge of the platform. She.. can't think of any distances like this in her experience, it's like ten times bigger than the biggest room she has seen in the facility. Even the longest corridors don't stretch that far.
And beyond it, an even bigger hand connected to the arm and she sees... the face she looks at every day in the mirror, just.. different. The same brown eyes, the same dark locks flowing down on the sides, but... Her gaze seems focused somewhere above, of course she was watching the screen even when she looks down she can still see the looming eyes focused directly on the camera.
Her finger obscures the sight of the head supported on her right hand, but she can't move it afraid of risking their lives again. In fact, she cannot move at all and just lays there, watches James walking away to show how others look on the background of herself... Is this how they all see me? - Kate thinks. Right now she is the only inhuman sight on the screen.
I'm so.. sorry... - but she notices how her breath makes them brace forward. Carefully Kate covers her mouth with the right hand and whispers: I had no idea.. I didn't know...
My lady, we understand you didn't and we don't blame you - James tries to comfort her. It's obvious to her now, a slightest indelicate move and they could all be...
I seem like.. a monster! - she can only point out, realizing it.
No, surely daunting, intimidating even but not a monster - he continues trying to calm her - We understand you didn't want any of this to be like this and we believe you meant what you said two weeks earlier.
Nobody else spoke, but their silence seems to confirm it they all have these devices, they should be able to speak to her. What is she supposed to do now? Leave and never return? But Rachel asked her to protect them... was this how she was always viewed by the people? Ever since Kate arrived, when she talked with them or wandered towards the cities. Not to mention all those people she killed in the past, especially in other zones... A looming shape far out in the perspective, inhuman both in size and behavior? Carelessly murdering...
Kate can see tears forming in her eyes. You should all get away now, before I hurt you. - she whispers, both sad and terrified by another obvious fact.
That will not be necessary, we are confident you won't do that - James replies.
But...
She can hear Gary's voice: Kate, please.. it's fine, just as long as you are careful.
Considering this for a moment, she very slowly pulls her left hand back, to wipe her eyes she must be strong now, how can she protect them if she is afraid of even being here...
But then she discovers another obvious thing they are trying to show her what it is like. They have been trying to teach her about them ever since she arrived... At the beginning Kate thought that she is training them, while all the time it was her being trained. She doesn't mind in fact, she is more angry that they couldn't simply tell her.. but... more at herself, as she wouldn't have listened to it.
Kate wants to assure them that she understands everything, but.. does she? How many more times will she discover just how wrong she has been in the past? Not to mention that it all should have been always obvious to her, to explain that she realizes this now means that earlier she was what... a careless dummy roaming around them?
But now Kate decides that she should not endanger them anymore - I should probably leave now...
Actually - James interrupts her getting up carefully - you don't have to feel free to talk with us for as long as you wish.
It must have all been planned well in advance, but how can she possibly refuse? Um, sure - she lowers her chin back on the ground and notices a small quake in their perspective - sorry...
Gary talks to her again - Kate, you don't need to apologize, just.. now you understand how massive all your actions seem to us down here - it is more than obvious, how he explained over a week ago the effects of her sudden actions, especially near any cities... - but we trust that you don't mean it like this and we don't mind. Like James mentioned - as long as you are careful.
Really? - she is pleasantly surprised to notice others looking at the camera and nodding in agreement. They are so nice to her, even after all she did over a million died in here alone... She cannot even imagine such number of people, it's just.. beyond monstrous.
Then Kate realizes another terrifying fact if she is ever forced to let anybody in, some mother perhaps.. they could notice this screen, figure out what it is for they weren't as ignorant as Kate which would give away what she has been doing. And whatever Rachel was afraid of... no, she must tell them to dismantle it:
I'm so sad to ask you this, but if anybody notices this screen and what I'm doing here they might... - what should she tell them, being unsure of what may happen herself - I'm sure you put a lot of effort into this, but it cannot remain here...
It is okay, my Lady - James assures her - our engineers have specifically designed it to be foldable in minutes and even if there is no time for that, you can simply crush the screen it's just some pole with a material hanging off it, we'll be able to rebuild it in no time.
Well, they surely thought about everything... - Kate thinks and although she would hate to destroy the screen, it would be better than being discovered. Maybe she is worrying too much? It seems everybody around her is so much smarter and has everything planned. Rachel must have been simply busy, doing something more important than educating ignorant Kate and she could not blame her.
Let's hope it doesn't get to that... - she finally whispers, during a discussion with Gary she tried to explain how she will try stop anybody else from entering the chamber, but there may be situations where she may be forced to... - and it started with Gary was only asking to let them know if anybody else is coming so they could plan ahead. She was so obvious to them as well, they seen through her even without any knowledge of how the facility looks like now. This only strengthens her fear that mothers will notice everything as well... and even other seconds, but she has ignored them for long enough she should go to this little party early tomorrow Nicole invited her to.
Yes, she needs to go now, it's already late and she needs to rest and also all those realizations trouble her again. Maybe if she can sleep it through, she will fell better?
She didn't even notice how Christina was talking about something for a while now, but she feels like she needs to interrupt her - Um, sorry but.. we should talk about this tomorrow, okay? - and this time she gets them to agree. Not that they could stop her, but.. she would never ignore them like that.
If you could wait a moment for us to depart - James asks her and she confirms, of course.
Kate is somewhat surprised that they don't seem to be walking anywhere.. just staying there, as if waiting for something but her thoughts are suddenly interrupted when James looks upwards displaying a large flying vehicle, easily ten times larger in every direction than they are tall. It is so large from his perspective that Kate is afraid it may hurt them but it also maneuvers gracefully onto the ground and lands.
When they walk into an opening that appeared on the side, Kate can really see how big it is and yet, when she looks down on the platform.. it seems like a tiny lump of metal... is this the skyjet that rescued Gary? It seems like it when she looks down on the platform, but on the screen she can see details of this massive craft, from legs thicker than persons body to various arms and attachments high above... to think that something like this may have flown into her ear and she barely felt it.
But they board the vehicle and James stands in front of the mirror to show the last view of them together before the craft flies away:
See you tomorrow, miss Kate - he suggests.
See you... - she replies realizing the deep meaning of this simple statement, James never spoke in simple words like that, but this time it seems fitting...
The next morning, Kate received a mesg from Nicole explaining how Erica wanted something from her, so they moved the party to the afternoon. She also suggested that Kate can still meet up and talk with Amber, but talking with that monster is not on the list of things Kate would like to do. Still, she needs to meet with them both later to maintain their friendship...
Kate thinks how much simpler everything would be if only things could be normal between them if friends would actually like each other and simply enjoyed the company, if mothers could love their children as she heard from Gary is almost always the case in the zone, if caretakers would actually care... But somehow it's almost completely reverse and she needs to deal with it.
She moved back to her chamber to try to relax before the likely stressful encounter with the other seconds for the last two weeks she could simply escape from her sad reality. She talked with various people, listened to different kinds of music also learned more about the culture and history.
When it came to the music, she would be fine with some recordings, but they seemed to insist on live performances and she always thanked them for their effort, even though she was unable to see it. Well, now they set up symphonic orchestra on the podium it was empty when she arrived and even the screen was gone. She told them not to bother, but it really took them only a couple minutes to set it up again even though on their scale it was just.. enormous like everything related to her. But it just automatically unfolded and it was ready.
When they tried displaying anything, she noticed how it was hard to notice anything on the screen since it was already day and the image was fairly dim but she quickly figured that if she rotates a bit, the shadow will enable her to see it well enough. The mention from Gary that with her help they can have night any time they need it saddened her even though it was only a little joke, it emphasized just how different their worlds are. How could she even try to understand their lives...
It took them some time to gather again reminded by Kate that they don't need to - but when they started playing, well... John told her that there can be a hundred people or more playing some more complicated works, but she could not imagine what they could be doing even twenty people at birthday parties produced such clamor that it was hard to distinguish any particular conversations.
When shown on the screen, she understood or at least noticed that many people are playing seemingly the same melodies, which seemed strange at first, but then she realized how it produces a much deeper effect. She remembers the explanation how the reason dates to the ancient times where there was no electronics to play or record such performances, but the fact that such exists now does not diminish the skill required to play them.
Of course she heard they had to train for years, but only now can see just how hard it must be. She thinks she understands... just like she thought about so many things earlier. It seemed every week her comprehension of the world changed drastically it would be no surprise if she found something to completely change it again in the next several days.
But as she watches their dedication, the effort and delicate movements when she can see them perform on some closeups, another realization hits her just how empty her life was. And still is the fact that she is able to talk with and see them now actually made it more obvious. The amount of new things she heard about in the last two weeks just amazes her now.
It is perfectly summarized in the sight before her a world she didn't even know existed. Even though the musicians are mostly focused on their notes - as she learned the table in front of them are called occasional nervous glances upwards cannot escape Kate's attention. It shouldn't be like that. If there was a way to visit them, to just meet them face to face...
But of course not she is stuck like this gigantic monster among others of her kind. At least she has a glimpse of what she's missing and she was ignorant about everything. It seems that while so many of the people here have dedicated their lives to science and beauty.. the only things she was ever good at is... killing people? Rachel told her they were raised this way, but it feels like just a cheap excuse now.
When they finished after almost an hour, she even tried clasping her hands very carefully Gary explained her a couple days back how they do it to show respect after a performance. Of course if she did it properly, the wind would probably blow them away... fortunately she is laying a bit further back compared with yesterday and has more space to move.
The cameramen thankfully don't rotate the camera towards her, but she can still remember how intimidating she looked previously. At least now she understands it better and kept absolutely still, with her mouth covered at all times not to disturb their marvelous concert. Still Kate feels that she has so much to learn she will need to ask Gary how she can improve her behavior here. Obviously even the slightest actions are impacting their lives.
By now the sun has moved and she explains how soon it would be impractical for her to cast shadow over them it is mostly an excuse for not wanting to endanger them anymore. This whole time Kate was worried that one false move may...
Still, the conductor to thanks Kate personally and on behalf of the entire orchestra for this opportunity of playing for her. She has no idea why he would like being this close to her, but... she also doesn't know how can she respond really, so she just dismisses it as it was her who enjoyed this. They soon pack up and leave on one of those crafts apparently it is big enough for over a hundred people...
Kate watches as they fold the screen again, as it would be impossible to see any image in bright daylight anyway it is brilliant how the rim bends in several places and makes the entire structure.. but again, definitely work of people so much smarter than her.
But she can only lie down and think now. The sleep didn't help she still feels bad for everything, even though it's not her fault. What could the people have done to deserve this, even if Kate understands then everybody else still treats them as micros...
But Gary interrupts her reflections:
Hello Kate, you look tired from down here, didn't you like the performance? - he asks.
Oh no, he must be still on the podium - Kate realizes and she wasn't very careful since she thought everybody left.. if her subtle movements can cause disarray, then when she laid back casually...
Gary, are you okay? I didn't know you were still here - she carefully inquires.
Oh, don't mind me. Some quakes aren't anything I can't take... - he tries to turn it into a joke, but she still remembers how a movement of her finger caused both him and James to roll around - We've been wondering if you wanted to hear some people's stories to maybe understand our lives here better?
Oh absolutely - Gary wasn't this open in a long time, has Kate's behavior convinced him that they can trust her? She now understands how they may be afraid of her after what she seen, only a fool wouldn't be. On the other hand he did fly into her ear before.. and James never used this particular word while explaining how they believe her...
But right now she doesn't want to analyze it even if they don't trust her, what can she say to convince them? Not to mention that Kate was always interested in what the regular people are doing here.
So she starts listening and Gary tells her stories of various people. He even lets them talk with her on their own, but.. it doesn't seem they have much to say, except how they appreciate Kate's help and hope she will be careful so each conversation ends after just several minutes. She now appreciates the impact she must have had on them especially when she was visiting various cities. It is still impossible to imagine the emotions they must have gone through when seeing... her, covering half the sky. She was afraid of herself when looking through James's camera...
Kate doesn't think it's staged though. The yesterday's show was obviously arranged, carefully planned to ease her into this new discovery but the people she meets now sound honest and really worried. Even one that lost friends in the city of Ankar, where apparently Amber happened... Of course she mourns them, but she also mentions she understand Kate did everything she could to stop it. Kate doesn't want to tell Tasha the truth, how she shouldn't even have let Amber in... Kate would probably start apologizing again, but she needs to be strong now. Show them she will protect them even if she is unsure of this herself. She feels bad about all this regardless...
What they all have in common is that they are somewhat associated with her presence here. That's how Kate hears stories and meets an engineer who works on maintaining the automated villages, two service officers both responsible for securing her spot which she learns is mostly to stop any crazies the kind of Gary from getting it rather than somehow protecting her, a local salesman although the idea of merchandise confuses her greatly, a graphic designer not relevant to clothes, apparently who joined the service temporarily to help with the evacuation and reconstruction efforts and a secretary who miraculously survived the destruction of most of that city.
Now Kate listens to the story of a young architect who actually traveled to the town she was trying to communicate with shortly after her arrival and was one of the few people that were working on the lights. She can see why it took them so long five people to operate building lights so she could see their responses... she was lucky they haven't ran away like the rest. She understands it now, but back then... after failure to communicate Kate would look for some other place to talk to and it probably wouldn't end well.
But thankfully he did manage do signal her back with others and heard how he also suggested several great ideas regarding her spot the lightning, easily noticeable colors and the amphitheater. He certainly must be a brilliant young man Kate thinks as she cannot wait to talk to him - and really brave, to approach me even before the confession...
She heard that it was the part that convinced Gary that he needs to explain his story to her right away but right when she appeared there... She must have really terrified them back then. Yet he has flown to help and what a nice rhiming name...
Unfortunately, he was still overseeing the first performance on his last work, when... - Gary stops as if unsure how to continue - well...
Stop - she speaks through tears when she realizes that her ignorance, her.. stupidity to allow Amber to enter the zone freely... that she even indirectly - killed Adam - please, don't... - and can only roll onto her stomach carefully to hide the uncontrollable weeping in her arms. She could barely hold herself several times earlier, now it is simply too much...
After several hours, she is awakened from her mourning by mesg from Nicole Kate is in no mood for a party, but.. she quickly reminds herself that she needs to protect the people. Rachel told her she doesn't have to kill anybody, so she must make sure she doesn't but Kate needs to show the other seconds that everything is fine and she just wants to be alone.
When she rises up slowly, Gary speaks to her:
Thank you, Kate - but she is shocked to hear such words...
What.. what do you mean? You must think I'm crazy now, irresponsible and ignorant, I should have never shown... I'm so sorry...
Please, don't be. You shown a very human emotion back there. It is me who should be sorry for ever doubting you.. - he.. what? - but let me assure you, I now truly see that you are not a monster. You never were.
Kate has no idea how to respond, she thinks she can understand what he meant, but... Actually, it makes perfect sense if they have really seen through her, they must have also realized that she didn't care about them back then. Not as human beings. Not as people. She feels that words would be meaningless now and is almost crying again, this time with sadness mixed with joy but fortunately Gary continues surprising her yet again:
But this is not why I wanted to talk to you.
You wanted... what is it? - she can only mutter still half crouching.
We figured you could use your new dress in that party.
But how... - would they know about it?
I'm sorry if I may have read some correspondence that wasn't addressed to me, but one can only ignore for so long words written in the sky like the ones on your wristcom - of course.. Kate is once again proven immature and inconsiderate, she doesn't mind.. but... the dress? It was supposed to be still a week away she did lose a couple pounds, becoming fairly slim but... - Oh please, I have never met a girl in my life that wasn't anxious to see her new clothes... - Gary adds, suggesting something that escapes her.
Um, sure.. where are they? - and he directs her towards where the dress was positioned. She didn't care about it at all before and even hoped the designers might have forgot about it entirely, but if it's ready and may will help her seem normal to others Kate may even wear it right now.
The only problem one that she also hasn't thought about earlier is that the material would be ruined if she got it back to the facility, so she needs to change right here in front of everybody...
I'm.. I don't know how to ask for this, but... could you please all look away for a moment while I do this? - she awkwardly asks forty five million people in the zone.
Kate hates it. Every tiniest detail of her current situation.
She feels like she is naked her underwear is clearly visible, the dress also reveals her legs and arms and has deep cuts on both her chest and back. Designers somehow managed to strike the perfect outfit that the young caretakers are supposed to wear and both Nicole and Amber congratulated her that. Like it was her merit... But she still hates it she was wearing trousers and shirt her whole life, why would anybody bother with such skimpy clothes to be considered classy... To make it even worse, Kate could see Nicole ogling her through the whole party unsure if she is into her or just jealous.
Kate also hates how Amber apologized for everything she did killing Kate's micros.. how inappropriate. If only she could explain her just how monstrous it was. But she can't.. that's not why Kate is here... In fact, it would be the exact opposite of the behavior she is trying to show them.
But the worst part is that she hates what the other seconds are doing with the people! Of course she needs to play along and desperately tries not to display any compassion for the micros, but.. the reconciliatory transporter with fifty thousand people she got from Amber terrified her. At least she had an excuse playing with them would ruin her dress and at the time Kate hoped that if they forgot about them, she may be able to rescue them from this.. this... she didn't even want to think about it.
Of course Amber had to be more selfish than that. It also made Kate sure that her people she gave her must already be dead. They killed almost that much right here in mere minutes. They were probably killed a long time ago...
She must not let them see how disgusting it all seems to her. Nicole helped her play her role of shy and awkward friend - the dress also helped, but Kate needs to practice, it's not the last time when she will need to pretend. She even tried to ask about some details of what they were doing earlier... she wishes she didn't...
When Amber's seemingly proud explanations are over, she only waits a couple minutes and them blames her exhaustion and evacuates from that place. It was worse than what she was expecting... Rachel was right, the less she knew the better but it's too late now. Kate needs to figure out how to pretend, but.. how?
She gets back to her chamber and after changing back into her normal clothes awkwardly again she tries to relax, clear her mind of the atrocities she just witnessed and heard about, having asked for some time to herself, she just... lays there.
Eventually Kate sees the blinking blimp she is so tired, that she almost wants to ignore it, but... if there is anything bad happening, she must know about it. She grabs a nearby headphone almost motionlessly and is told that there seems to be another person on her only this time he is not trying to contact her, but seems to be some kind of voyeur - whatever that is as he is on her chest.
What is it with those men... - she thinks out loud when she learns that he doesn't want to be rescued, but decides that they don't have to pick him up just yet and explains that she does not mind.
Whatever he is looking for up there, it must be important for him... she may just as well give him some more time before she goes to bed. But why there? - she thinks quietly now - What is it about her bosom that's so significant...
Chapter End Notes:
Hopefully it should be the last “realizations” chapter for Kate – well, maybe except the one that Gary dies in.. that will surely be tough for her.
Anyway – for anyone who may have not read reviews and replies for them - the idea for the beginning of this story was the "reverse-giga" concept that I found fairly amusing. Whereas in most (almost all?) mega+ stories a character gets blown up / is already huge, sometimes destroys some cities unaware of her situation, realizes what she has become and then optionally plays gentle and/or playfully only to finally turn into full rampage - at which point there is nothing more left to add to the plot. This one seems to.. well, you have probably noticed it by now. I am not saying the usual stories are bad, just.. they tend to be roughly the same and I hoped this one may be a bit different – at least so far (of course it's business as usual when she kills Gary, turns evil and all the rest of it).
As for the Kate's annoying friends – if I were to start the story solely from her perspective, we would have to struggle through at least ten chapters showing details of her decadent past. This way we were able to see her discoveries next to descriptions of what others are doing – and, even though Kate now despises it, she was just like them once...
Perhaps there is some hope for the others? Who knows...
Also – brief insight into Kate's thoughts on the party but more details from others to follow.
Additionally, I hope that I made a better use of “see you” expression than some movie that was popular a couple years ago – especially how it was incredibly boring, shallow and unreliable (apart from the fx, of course).
And finally, I have no idea what's with those guys constantly trying to get on Kate, I mean.. seriously. And she doesn't either – without much contact with those so called “men” before...
As always – could you perhaps let me know what You think, if it is not a problem?
Anyway – for anyone who may have not read reviews and replies for them - the idea for the beginning of this story was the "reverse-giga" concept that I found fairly amusing. Whereas in most (almost all?) mega+ stories a character gets blown up / is already huge, sometimes destroys some cities unaware of her situation, realizes what she has become and then optionally plays gentle and/or playfully only to finally turn into full rampage - at which point there is nothing more left to add to the plot. This one seems to.. well, you have probably noticed it by now. I am not saying the usual stories are bad, just.. they tend to be roughly the same and I hoped this one may be a bit different – at least so far (of course it's business as usual when she kills Gary, turns evil and all the rest of it).
As for the Kate's annoying friends – if I were to start the story solely from her perspective, we would have to struggle through at least ten chapters showing details of her decadent past. This way we were able to see her discoveries next to descriptions of what others are doing – and, even though Kate now despises it, she was just like them once...
Perhaps there is some hope for the others? Who knows...
Also – brief insight into Kate's thoughts on the party but more details from others to follow.
Additionally, I hope that I made a better use of “see you” expression than some movie that was popular a couple years ago – especially how it was incredibly boring, shallow and unreliable (apart from the fx, of course).
And finally, I have no idea what's with those guys constantly trying to get on Kate, I mean.. seriously. And she doesn't either – without much contact with those so called “men” before...
As always – could you perhaps let me know what You think, if it is not a problem?