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"Shrinking Under Pressure"

By Sonicfan287

Chapter 1: No direction


Zack Austin had an overactive imagination and at times appeared as if his head were in the clouds. Somehow, though, he managed to land a decent job working for his dad's graphics company, an attractive girlfriend ... well, at one time, and was going to college to further his advancement in art.

Yes, Zack Austin could've done a lot of great things, if it weren't for him always being so easily distractable...

Right about now, it was Science class ... after that would be Pre-Calc, or something ... Zack was never one to stay right on with his schedule.

"The algorithm holds true ..." Mr. Castino spoke, in his usual slow drawl, "...even under subspace conditions... Mr. Austin!"

Zack's notes, which had begun as mere handwriting soon found themselves contorted into all kinds of crazy sketches. What started as a letter R soon trailed off at the tip of the last serif into a sharp diagonal line which outlined the page and highlighted a spectacular abstract representation of a large floating dragon grasping a space craft in it's tightly gripped claws. Zack panned his head up, his eyes somewhat obscured by his trademark gray wool hat which touched the upper part of his forehead, creating a small tuft of brown hair which squeaked through.

"Yes... sir?" Zack said, his voice saturated in boredom. He realized immediately that the direction of Mr. Castino's gaze was his own artistic notebook.

"Mr. Austin... since you seem to have paid such astute attention to my lecture today..." Mr. Castino spoke, a smug tone in his voice as he backed away from Zack's desk and addressed the larger class, "Why don't you come on up and show the class what I've already demonstrated? How would one go about sustaining perpetual motion under sub-space conditions?"

"Um... how? Well..." Zack spoke, with an eloquence as flimsy as the notebook paper he shuffled under his elbows as he craned his head down to view the conglomorate of notes, most of which pertained to drawings or a list of girls in the class that he thought were attractive. As if by some divine intervention, his mind was suddenly struck with inspiration and he rattled off an answer, "Um... you see... perpetual motion, as it were, can be sustained by calculating the mass of the traveling object multiplied by it's acceleration..."

"I see, Mr. Austin" Mr. Castino replied, nodding his head as if humoring Zack and the rest of the class, "you've successfully calculated force. Then what?"

"Then what? Um... well, then you take the momentum in any given direction and..." Zack stuttered.

At that moment, among a sea of various tones of laughter came a raised hand in the back corner of the class. It was a blonde kid wearing a black vest, known for his scientific intellect.

"Yes, Eddy?" Mr. Castino commented, gesturing towards him.

"Mr. Castino, as amusing as this all is" Eddy interjected, his unmistakable nasally voice overtaking the room, "We ALL know that perpetual motion is impossible, it's been calculated as such for years by the greatest physicists in the world... even under subspace conditions"

"Wh-What?" Zack said, turning sharply to face Eddy. His usual malaise had been temporarily broken, even in a subject he knew nothing about, "Yeah? Well then why was Mr. Castino just calculating...?"

"...The impossibility theorum, Mr. Austin" Mr. Castino chortled, "I was simply demonstrating to the class why perpetual motion is impossible under a given set of laws... but certainly I'm not one to discourage a student exploring the laws of science"

"So... ugh" Zack said, a noticeable frustration forming in his words, "So then why did you let me ...? Ugh, why do we even NEED to know something that we won't use?"

"What do you mean?" Mr. Castino contested, "Of course it's useful information, you will be using it on the exam"

"We CAN'T use it!" Zack challenged, "You just said we can't use it, it's impossible, so then why are we calculating impossible things?"

"Oh Mr. Austin..." Professor Castino sighed, shaking his head to and fro, "One most be familiar with all variables... just like your little ... doodles down there. They're not particularly useful but I was aware of them at the least"

"Hey! Now you look here!" Zack said, starting to get up out of his seat, nearly pulling his iPod out of his jacket pocket in the process. There were a serious of gasps from the other students but several classmates nearby halted him before he could approach the pretentious professor, one of them being his friend Jack.

"Cmon man!" Jack cautioned, keeping his voice hushed but still firm as he addressed his friend, keeping him close by the collar of his jacket, "You don't need this... not now. Just relax"

"Right... relax" Zack said and sighed, sitting back down.

The fact of the matter was Zack was all over the place. In what he did, what he wanted and even his emotions. At most times, he'd be quiet and reserved but sometimes, like in his own Science class, he'd find himself easily provoked and would take out anger in outrageous ways. He had been in a few fights throughout his life but for the most part it was more his threat of violence. He very rarely took action of any kind so most of the time, his hollow challenges went ignored and if he ever was in any kind of fight, he would end up on the losing end.

"Why do you think that is, Zack?" a female voice asked him. Zack retained his flat demeanor in front of her. The silence was so strong it seemed to echo in the office space around him as he sat. Standing tall was his long-time counselor, Nancy Dawes.

Zack let out a heavy sigh, barely making eye contact with Nancy.

"Zack, I'm serious" she sighed, sitting back down in her chair, "I'm sorry to get so firm with you but you never give straight answers, I just want to get to the root of what's troubling you... yknow?"

"I know I know..." Zack sighed, "I... I don't know... I don't know why I start fights"

"Well, your professor called the office earlier and seemed pretty distressed..." Nancy frowned.

"Yeah, Professor... Asstino!" Zack chuckled, referencing one of his least favorite teachers. Unfortunately he wasn't the only one. Zack had only just started at Eastern Connecticut State University and he was already falling behind in more than one subject. Art was the only subject he seemed to thrive in, only for the moment and he worried about that as well.

"Zack." Nancy said, in a sharp blunt tone, "You need to start taking these things seriously. I know you wouldn't fight a teacher... at least you SAY you won't fight a teacher but you have had these outbursts before, and you make a lot of rash decisions"

"Psh, like what?" Zack sighed, "According to you and others, I don't make enough decisions... I don't take any risks, I don't try new things, that's what you've been telling me for years and some of my friends, so which is it?"

Nancy paused and gave Zack a slight smile, more of a tongue in cheek gesture, because they both had such a rapport from so many years together, they knew exactly what she meant.

"I mean Ashley, Zack" Nancy sighed.

"I know... Ashley" Zack repeated, his voice lowering a bit as he spoke the name of his one time love.

"You don't really talk about her much" Nancy said, "And actually, you didn't even talk much about her while you were together... you told me you loved her though"

"I... yeah... I did" Zack said, unable to make eye contact with Nancy or really anything. Instead he found his eyes wandering the room, shifting between the books on the shelf, the doorway and the thickly carpeted floors.

"But then you guys just broke up..."

"Yeah, like 4 months ago" Zack scoffed.

"4 months ago, but you still talk, don't you?"

"Once in a while" he admitted.

"Okay, and what do you talk about?"

"I'm sorry but is this really what we're here to talk about? I thought you wanted to see me because I got upset with that science teacher" Zack said.

"Actually, Zack, I moved our appointment to today because I'm going to be out of the office starting tomorrow, I'm going on vacation and won't be able to see you until the beginning of next month, so I figured this would be a good time to touch base" Nancy explained, "and in light of hearing from your Professor, I thought it would be good to just get it all out there, yknow?"

"Well there's nothing to say, okay?" Zack retorted, "Yeah, I loved Ashley, we dated, it was great and all that and now we're done... we talk once in a while though"

"You paused" Nancy said.

"What do you mean?" Zack asked.

"When you mentioned her... a couple times, actually, you paused, there was a hesitance in your voice" she said.

"Yeah, so?"

"That's what you need to use more often, that's all I'm saying. You should make decisions in life and you shouldn't be afraid to take chances but it's also okay to admit if you made a mistake" Nancy explained in a slow calm voice.

"What mistake?" Zack said, his heart suddenly tensing up on him as he felt his last few words crash down on him. It was something about words like 'mistake' 'regret' 'fault' 'blame' or any such words that evoked an emotional response. Zack also hated being wrong

"Breaking up with Ashley..."

"Okay, this session is over!" Zack said and got up, stepping towards the door

"Zack" Nancy said, just once, in a powerful voice. She knew it was all she'd need. Still he made his way towards the door, a bit slower in his approached. He paused, looked at her and then looked at the open door.

"Damn it!" he said, striking the door with it's fist so it collided with the threshold but didn't slam shut, instead sliding back into it's original position. Zack threw himself back onto the small sofa in front of his counselor. "What? What do you want from me? You got me angry, you happy now? You got your response"

"That's not what I'm looking for" she said, a slight chuckle, "C'mon Zack, we both know this isn't you, snapping at people, slamming doors, but that's what happens when you keep your emotions in for too long"

Instead of his usual snide response, Zack sat in silence. He knew she was right. That also didn't mean he wanted to admit it. Still, Nancy spoke on.

"Ashley still goes to school near you, right?"

"Yeah, up at UCONN" Zack replied.

"Have you ever suggested meeting up with her?" she asked.

"She's asked a few times but man... I just... I shouldn't have to" he sighed, his voice lowering down to the same seclusive tone he was capable of.

"You don't have to" Nancy chuckled, "it'd just be a good chance to catch up with a friend, yknow?"

"Yeah, a friend I had sex with" Zack remarked.

"you're missing the point" Nancy said, sounding tired out but at the same time a slight smile appearing on her face.

"I know... I ... I don't know actually" Zack said, "I guess I do have trouble making decisions"

After that, they both took a moment to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere that came from a brief laugh. The office was quiet for several moments after that.

"I'm just trying to help, Zack" Nancy said, "You're 22 years old... you've only had one major relationship and in general have struggled to make friends"

"Is this supposed to be helping?" Zack asked, a slight chuckle in his voice. He could appreciate even the darkest of humor.

"I'm just saying... you haven't really put yourself out there, you've made it through life and had some really meaningful accomplishments but you take them for granted" Nancy said, "And then you dwell on the negatives and try to hide in your artwork..."

"You leave my artwork out of this" Zack said, a bit of anger in his voice, "That's just what Asstino got on me for... he can't appreciate ART, because he can't explain it with some bullshit law"

"Zack, language..." Nancy frowned, "I'm not insulting your art, all I'm saying is you've spent so much time alone and Ashley was the only one you really spent time with other than your friend Jack and your parents, and even they don't seem to know much about you but they all want the best for you"

"I...I know they do" Zack did, running out of words to say.

"Look, we've already run over the hour, but I hope this has been helpful" Nancy said, a sincere tone in her voice as she looked towards her disgruntled patient, "I'll see you in a couple weeks, okay?"

"Sure. Thanks" Zack said and rose from his seat to shake her hand as she directed him towards the waiting room to make a follow up appointment. In his head, several thoughts were swirling, but many of them focused on one thing...

"Maybe if I werent so weak, I wouldn't need to keep seeing a fucking therapist"
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