Outrageous' Fortune was a man in his middle thirties. He had been born Omar Fortune, son of Renaldo Fortune and Ellsie Venada, who had been married for two years before they decided to have a child.

Omar had become interested in the thespian works of several writers, and had applied for a position in the local drama society at Turramurra. His efforts had met with failure, for - as

is that awfully demoralizing fate of many an aspiring victim of refusals and rejections - his talents were surpassed by his expectations of grandeur. Had Omar weathered the battles of life, he would have indeed found success, but he had succumbed to many a temptation and lacked the self-disciplinary skills of a Sneaky Spy. Omar Fortune had conceived his own nickname as a  means of denoting his extraordinary fetish for perpetrating purely incongruous acts of crime merely for the thrill of achieving his riotous objectives without facing apprehension by the local constabulary. Even as a teenager, Outrageous Fortune had broken into numerous schools, small stores, private houses, supervised building sites, television studios, and even the occasional police station. His methods of approaching these tasks included several variations on the practiced techniques of housebreaking, prowling, seduction of female opposition, infiltration and simply taking advantage of a chance to create the element of surprise by performing the unexpected.

When Omar Fortune turned thirty-five, he came to some conscious decisions: "I am now in the midst of my thirties. I am twenty-five years too old to expect further instalments of free pocket money and twenty-five years too young to apply for the pension. I have a steady stable career as a clerk at the Future Funds Association bank branch at Hornsby, and I should think about getting my life in order. It is time for me to begin looking for a wife. It is time for me to calm down. It is time for me to permanently suspend the giving of vent to the suggestions contained within my alter cognomen by continually performing the unprecedented.  It is indeed time for me to settle down to a more average and respectable existence and one that would never place me at risk of involving myself with those who - in between acts of corruption and acceptance of bribes - do faithfully seek to enforce this country's numerous pieces of statutory legislation. It is definitely high time that I turned over  a new leaf and proceeded to initiate all of the changes that I have just been contemplating, and I shall do so. I shall perform all of these changes instantaneously, including the disposal of my nickname. The last outrageous act of mine will be the overnight transition of rank and riotous lunatic Outrageous Fortune into respectable and reasonable family man Omar Fortune. It will happen, just like that, instantaneously... just as soon as I have made it all perfectly possible by knocking over my own bank and leaving New South Wales forever."

* * * *

Outrageous fortune walked into the branch at nine o'clock on a monday morning. The staff of the bank would take half an hour to prepare the bank as usual, before the time came when they would be required to open their doors and serve the customers.

"Our new security system was installed in the holidays you folks call your weekend," said the bank's manager, as  Omar put down his briefcase and contemplated the scene.

"All the more fun," he thought, "and they will never find me in Darwin. I will have an ample supply of money in order to buy myself a plastic surgery operation that will leave me looking even more handsome than I currently do, and totally unidentifiable. A new name, a new face, a new lifestyle, and a new bank balance in a new bank account."

"The new system," said the manager Harvey Perkins, "is electronic and controlled from our side of the desk. Should anyone attempt to hold up this bank, their efforts of armed robbery will be thwarted, when our protective screens go up in their faces. There is no way that anybody could walk out of this bank with our millions as long as you members of staff are fully aware of the need to press these buttons and dive for cover."

"Unless of course the robber was on this side of the screens," said Outrageous Fortune, removing a loaded pistol from his briefcase and grabbing the neck of a female teller beside him as he pointed the gun at her head.

"What are you doing, Omar?" said the manager.

"Well I am leaving. I am not going to work here anymore. I am going to resign. I am expecting quite a large sum of money for my termination pay, so hurry up and fetch it for me, will you, old boss? I need it immediately, because when I resign, I am going to commit a crime. I plan to break the law by leaving this establishment, hence ending my services as an employee of Future Funds Association; and I am going to do it in total disobedience of a basic principle of law related to contracts of employment. Give me all the money you have got, and be quick about it Perkins, because I am going to resign here and now, without giving you the expected two weeks notice!"

* * * *

Omar Fortune was soon on his way to Hornsby Station, having released the girl who worked as a teller for Future Funds Association. He ran onto the station and - having timed things perfectly and followed his preparations to the letter - he approached the driver's carriage of a train with his briefcase full of money, having concealed his weapon in the inner pocket of his jacket. He noticed a girl near the front of the train.

"Hello Miss," he said to the stranger, "Do you know that there's a beautiful lady who works in a bank just across the road from this station? I thought it unreasonable to expect her to walk quietly  over to this station and partake of a train trip with me, so I was hoping to find somebody like you."

He now had his pistol levelled at her chest as he dragged her into the carriage, forced open the door to the driver's cabin, pushed her to the right, pointed his gun at the driver and instructed him to dispense with the usual formality of spending five minutes at Hornsby Station before embarking on the remainder of the timetabled journey to the end of the line.

* * * *

The Sneaky Spy had enjoyed a good night's sleep on Sunday evening, which naturally concluded at around seven o'clock on Monday morning. He had enjoyed his breakfast and prepared for a visit to his cousin's farm up near Wyong. Janet Angstrom had not seen Percy Dale since the Sneaky Spy had brought Donna Scarlot up to her farm for a visit which had evolved into a romantic experience.  He had almost confided in his match making cousin at that point, who had been so set on arranging wedding bells for Percy and Donna. Yet he couldn’t tell anyone about Ingrid. How could he explain an infatuation on a cruel teenager being strangely magnified by that very cruelty.

Today his visit to Janet's would be merely to catch up on old times as well as to visit an old church tower in Donna's honour. It was in the church tower - after some discussion - that Percy had sung his ode to the girl for whom he had felt a strong attachment. 

After several slices of bacon and a complementary omelette, the Sneaky Spy walked to Wahroonga Station and caught the only North Shore line train scheduled for that morning, which would then continue on its way to Wyong, saving Percy the trouble of changing trains at Hornsby Station.

Percy had barely noticed the brief period at Waitara, during which the doors of the train had been opened to allow some passengers to alight, as well as admitting new travellers to the multitude of metal wheeled buses which formed the essential accompaniment to those twin pieces of iron which followed each other around for long distances - side by side - performing the function of a railway line.

Percy was also pleased at the apparently brief amount of time that he had to wait at the North Shore line's busiest of stations. It was not until the train had gone through the three succeeding stations without stopping, that Percy got up and began to make his way through the carriages, until he came to a doorway that was closed off, confining the passengers to the third carriage away from the driver. The train was a single decked set of carriages (one of the older models), and this meant that the doors could be opened manually by the passengers. The somewhat suspicious Sneaky Spy opened the doors and stretched his arms upwards. He had soon managed to successfully pull himself up onto the roof of the train, using the outer doorhandle and the window of the carriage as footholds. In no time at all, he was able to leap from one carriage to the next.

"This train's going faster than any normal express train," thought the Sneaky Spy to himself,
"I have a feeling that the driver of this one's a bit of a naughty boy, or someone else is."

The Sneaky Spy crawled along continually, avoiding the electrical contacts with the overhead wires, and was soon on top of the driver's carriage. He craned his head downwards, so that his eyes could see into the carriage. He saw the man with the gun pointed at the driver. The man held the pistol in his left hand, and held the girl's neck with his right.

"So the driver hadn't exactly volunteered himself for this accelerated venture into the realms beyond the expectations of the State Rail Authority," thought Percy to himself, "and the damsel must be in this one as a hostage, no less."

The train rocketed over a bridge, and Percy withdrew his head - for fear of the gunman looking upwards to see him - and stared down at the water below and beside the tracks.

"Now how can I stop this guy? He's hijacked the whole train just to make a trip of his own. But what on earth does he plan to do at the end of the line? Well that doesn't matter," thought the Sneaky Spy, "because I am not going to give him a chance to get that far. If he could break into the driver's cabin, then so can I, and my tranquiliser dart gun will be taking the trip as well."

Percy edged his way back to the side of the carriage and contemplated descending to the passengers' doorway unnoticed. Then he sensed and felt something which altered his plans.

"This train is slowing down!" thought the Sneaky Spy, who could never remember all of the suburbs between Hornsby and Wyong. He could only remember the major ones. He had no idea where he was, but it was obvious that the criminal's escape plan involved stopping between stations and soon.

* * * *

The train slowed to a grinding halt and Percy looked around at the bush below. He could not give away his position yet. He had to follow the man through the bushes until he had a chance to separate the fellow from his hostage: the girl.

Percy lay down flat on top of the train. He watched the gunman dragging the girl down to the tracks on the opposite line and leading her into the bushes. 

"Sorry about this Miss, but you'll be my hostage until I have dropped you off a long way from home."

"Who are you? Why are you holding me as hostage?" shrieked the young lady.

"Call me Outrageous Fortune, christened Omar, but I shall not be him for much longer. You will soon forget all about me, but for the moment you shall remain a necessary ingredient for this: my final act of illegal activity."

Percy waited until they were out of the way. When they had disappeared into the bushes, he jumped down to the doorway and spoke to the driver.

"I am not a policeman, but I plan to get him, for the girl's sake as well as that of the load of loot he appears to have acquired. I suggest you stop at the next station and send for the police."

Percy stole into the bushes and pursued the pair as closely as possible without revealing his position. He could hear them in the distance, but he had considerable difficulty in duplicating their speed without revealing his presence behind them. He came to an opening, in which the bushes parted to form a wide pathway which led to an open grassy plain.

He ran along the path and emerged into the plain, looking about for Outrageous Fortune and the girl. Then he heard a noise in the distance.

"A helicopter! I've got to stop him."

Percy ran towards the machine, spotting the girl in the open space behind the pilot's seat. Percy ran as fast as he could, and leaped onto the horizontal leg of the helicopter - on the left hand side - just as the Fortune hunter's method of escape rose several metres into the air, taking the Sneaky Spy along for the ride. A bullet shattered the window beside him as the Sneaky Spy made his way into the back and smiled reassuringly at the girl. He then made his way to the front seat and wrenched the gun from the hand of Omar Fortune, who put the machine on hover over the water above which it had flown. He needed two free hands to fight the Sneaky Spy.

Percy's right fist hammered into Fortune's stomach, as his left hand reached for the doorhandle beside the pilot's seat. He got the door open as his forehead avoided an attempted blow from the fist of Omar Fortune. Percy then touched one of the controls, successfully causing the helicopter to descend slowly towards the water below. Using all of his strength, he managed to shove his opponent towards the doorway, and eventually kicked Fortune out of the copter.

From her vantage point, the girl saw her captor landing in the river with a splash, as the Sneaky Spy - with both of his legs dangling out of the helicopter as a result of his struggle with Fortune - seized the controls and brought the helicopter high into the air, after which he returned it to the hover position, to allow himself a chance to improve his positioning within the huge helicopter. He flew it back to the closest station and made arrangements for the local embodiments of law and order to embark on a fishing trip involving a certain human element of game. He was about to depart with the reward money that Future Funds Association had, by telephone, instructed the police to donate to the Sneaky Spy after deducting it from the millions that Percy had recovered from the helicopter. He noticed a hand on his shoulder. It was that of the girl he had rescued.

"Hey don't leave yet. I want to thank you for saving my endangered life. I don't suppose you would like to - "

"As a matter of fact," said the Sneaky Spy, handing a large wad of currency to a girl who might well have completely ignored him, had he been single, shy and manly in the usual context of fellow train travellers; "I would like you to have this as compensation for your troubles. I have not the time for further post-adventure discussions, for I have already been delayed from visiting my cousin, who will no doubt be concerned about my tardy arrival. Don't worry about Omar Fortune. He's probably suffered the slings and arrows of confirmed incarceration, if they've fished his swimming body out of the river by now."

The Sneaky Spy stepped into a taxi and disappeared from her line of sight.

"That may have been one future family court fortune hunter who'll never claim half of my residential property as the prize for marital infidelity, or it may have been a pleasant and honourable girl, but these days I just don't have the time to find out," he thought, “… because she just isn’t Ingrid. How can I keep doing this to Donna?”