* * * * *
Our first stop was Las Vegas' McCarran International Airport, which we flew to aboard Irv's Cessna Citation jet. There, we rented a 2010 Chevy Cobalt (which was actually painted cobalt-blue; go figure!), and drove a few miles southward.
Upon arriving at Tahitian Village, I had to confess that the place wasn't much to look at.
"The only thing tropical-looking, around here, are the potted palms in the lobby."
"Well, don't let it worry you," replied Irv: "We won't even be staying here, overnight."
We found the door to the room we were looking for (Suite 428) and knocked.
"Come on in!" exclaimed a female voice: "It's open."
We did as instructed. And, we were stunned by the sight that first met our eyes. Seven twenty-something girls, all of Filipino heritage. And, all dressed exactly alike. Purple majorette uniforms, with matching mini-skirts (hem-lined with black and white stripes), and white go-go boots.
The most petite member of this group stepped forward, her right hand outstretched.
"Hi!" she gushed: "I'm Ramona Magsaysay. Captain of the San Ildefonso University twirl line. But, you can just call me 'Ramona.' And, it's a pleasure to be working with you, Mr. Sharkey!"
Her friends squealed and giggled as I shook her hand.
"Pleased to meet you. And, you can call me 'Thresher.' "
More giggles and squeals. During which, I turned to Irv.
"I thought you said we'd be rehearsing the scene at the archeological dig."
Now, it was Ramona's turn to look at Irv.
"I thought that scene was being phased out of the remake."
"Remake?" I echoed: "What remake?"
Ramona then told me how Arturo Reyes (the agent who had handled her talk show appearances while she was Miss Junior World Peace) had told her she and her friends would be auditioning for a remake of the 1979 cult-classic, "Invasion of the Baton Twirlers From Outer Space." Said remake to be a collaboration between Tim Burton and James Cameron!
"But," she continued: "...instead of a baton-twirling beauty pageant winner getting possessed by an ancient astronaut's ghost, it's to feature a whole twirl line getting abducted by--and brainwashed aboard--a UFO!"
So, I turned back to Irv, with criss-crossed arms.
" 'Lucy! You got some splaining to do.' "
Irv held up both his hands.
"Obviously, there's been a slight foul-up in the lines of communication. You guys wait here, and I'll go contact Arturo on the car's cellular headset. OK?"
I guess he meant for us to accept that last part as a rhetorical question. Because, he hurried out the door like a bat out of you-know-where! So, in the interests of diplomacy, I asked Ramona to introduce me to the other girls. She blushed with excitement (just as much as they did) as she called off their names.
"Consuela; Manuela; Patricia; Marguerita; Ana-Maria; and Dolores."
Each girl raised her baton to her right shoulder, accordingly, while performing a slight curtsy in the form of her left leg tucking backward.
"Encantada, senoritas!" I replied (with as chivalrous as a bow as I could manage).
They squealed and giggled, yet again, as Ramona explained that they could all speak fluent English. But, that she, herself, was half-Puerto Rican on her mother's side. So, she could speak Spanish, just as fluently.
"Ah, comprendo!" I replied (bowing again): "Gracias."
I know; I know! Linguistic showing off. But, I couldn't help myself. Ramona was just so dang cute (especially when she grinned)!! And, the rest of the girls weren't exactly slouches in the Looks Department, either.
Still, I was determined to remain a gentleman. So, I told them how I had come here expecting to meet "Marie-Lien LaFlamme," for the first time, at an ancient Hawaiian temple that was being controversially excavated. And, Ramona returned the favor by telling me how they had come here expecting to rehearse the scene where they capture "Agent Steven Hughes" for their alien masters!
"Well, then?" I replied: "Why not go ahead and show me."
They didn't need much more urging than that. In less time than it takes to tell, they were dancing and baton-twirling to an Ipod-recorded tune called "Itak-Tak-Mo." Which, to be honest, sounded (to me) a lot like a cross between Los Bravos' "Black Is Black," George Gershwin's "Summertime,' and the original HAWAII FIVE-O theme!
Still, their choreography was undeniably precise, as they never once stepped out of synch! And, their baton-twirling was just plain...hypnotic.
I literally could not take my eyes off them, as they formed a tight circle around me.
tbc
Giantess World
Chapter End Notes:
Special note: Any and all quotations from I LOVE LUCY are neither owned nor copyrighted by me. It's either Paramount, CBS, or the Estate of Ms. Lucille Ball.