Julia’s hand comes up and she taps loudly on the desk in front of Brian.  He looks up, suddenly a little bit scared, and says thank you louder to Kelly.  Julia shakes her head.

                “Let’s not start the day off like this, okay?” she says. 

Great.  He’s already on her bad side for today.  No doubt if he does another thing he’ll find himself in detention.  I’ve probably been to detention at least a couple dozen times, and I’m the best student.  It’s not hard to tip Julia over the edge as far as school discipline.

                “Please get to work on the problem, class,” she says, and we all begin furiously writing it out and finding the answer.  She gives us a minute before speaking again.

                “I hope you’re done.  Gina?  What did you get?” she says.  Gina looks up, and calmly tells her x is equal to negative twenty-six.  Julia frowns ever so slightly.

                “No… I don’t think so.  Let’s try again.  Jack, what did you get?” she says, looking at me.  I look at my paper and answer x is equal to eighteen.  She smiles and nods her head.  “Good work, Jack,” she says, giving me a huge thumbs up. 

Good.  With a start like this, there’s an extremely low likelihood I’ll end up in detention.  Like so many other things in the last two years, I’ve blocked stuff off and reduced it to a very simple equation:  do well and get through another day without detention. 

Simple as that.

                The slight worried frown returning, Julia looks back to Gina.  “Gina, I’m not sure you’re getting this concept quite right.  How about you show me how you’re doing it.  I want to see you work,” she says, and her hand is gently laid out, palm up, where Gina can step into it.

                “But wait- just let me try it again!  I know I can get it…” says Gina, the nervousness growing in her voice.  Having not been here as long, she hasn’t quite adjusted to being held, and as she’s told me quietly in one of our late night chats in the dollhouse, she’s terrified of heights.  It’s like having your worst fear combined with the fact that a gigantic evil goddess is holding your life in her hand, in a position fully capable of squeezing the life out of you with a quick snap. 

But Julia’s not going to have any of this.  Her voice raises and the palm-up hand rises for a moment, and she snaps her thumb and middle finger together with a loud crack to get Gina’s attention.  “NOW, Gina.  Don’t make me ask again.”

                Walking slowly, and with the slightest shake developing in her knees that only people of our size would notice, Gina steps forward, holding her pencil and paper toward Julia’s hand and stops right in front.

                “Look, I can show you the-” begins Gina, hoping to get out of stepping in.

                “Get into my hand, Gina.  Now,” says Julia, sounding pretty annoyed at this point.  She taps her pointer finger on the desk hard before moving it a few inches forward and bumping against the knees of Gina.

                “O-o-okay, okay, I’m-I’m doing it,” says Gina, stammering in growing fear of the height to come.  She sits Indian style in Julia’s palm and is raised up to her face, and sets her paper on the pad of skin under Julia’s thumb where the flesh is thicker to write it out.  Julia whispers to Gina quietly for a few minutes, then returns her to the table.  Gina’s face is honestly pretty ashen.  She’s usually not in the air for that long.

                “And Gina?  Detention later.  I want you to listen to me better from now on,” says Julia.  Gina looks even sadder.  I actually feel pretty bad for her, and for the first time this week my emotions are awakened enough that I feel opinionated about something.  It occurs to me to make a sacrifice for Gina and go with her to detention.  The trick is to find the perfect thing that will earn me detention, but keep me very well distanced from suspension.  I’ve only been suspended once. 

It sucked. 

And I mean it sucked. 

It’s really not something any of us even discuss with one another because we’d like to forget it. 

I spend the next couple hours of algebra and history lessons trying to devise something.  Noon rolls around, and we stop the lesson.

                “Okay, class, it’s time for lunch.  Everybody in,” says Gina, pulling the bus up for all of us.  We hop in and take seats.  I take one next to Gina, who is still shaken.  I put my arm around her.

                “It’s okay.  You’re going to be fine,” I say, patting her shoulder.

                “But what if… what if I have to…” she begins fearfully.

                “She won’t make you do that again, trust me.”

                “How do you know?”

                “I know.  Try to relax.  It’s okay.”

                We’re set down on the desk with the kitchen for lunch.  We all take our seats, and a bit later are brought what appears to be a normal sized person’s bite’s worth off of a sandwich, so there’s little bits of bread, cheese, and lettuce sitting in the pile.  We gobble it up, and it actually tastes pretty good, but it’s hindered for Gina and me slightly with the knowledge of what’s to come after school.  This seems like a good a time as any to earn it.

                “Jack?” I hear from off the table.  I turn to see Julia looking at me, luckily not annoyed or angry.  “Come over here.”  I get up from my seat and step to the edge of the table.  We’ve gotten to the point where Julia can just pick me up without any complaint or apprehension from me, so she sort of just does it without thinking about it; luckily again, she hasn’t gotten so comfortable that she doesn’t do it slowly and gently.  She picks me up with a surprising amount of care for the anger that is capable of quickly swelling in her, and closes her fingers gently around my body.  She walks across the room and sits at the classroom desk, her back to the back desk area.  She rests her elbow on the desk, still holding me.  “I want you to eat something extra right now, okay?  Here,” she raises her other hand, which has been gripping a large ball of bread.  “Eat some,” she says.  She flattens the hand holding me into an open palm so I can sit down in the center before she places the ball on her outstretched fingers for me to grab off.

                “I’m okay, I just had something to eat over there,” I lie.  This seems as good an option as any.

                “I know, but I’d really like you to get some extra.  You’re getting too thin.  And I want my little boys to all be nice and healthy.   Don’t you want to be healthy, Jack?” she says, nudging the ball closer to my knees in my sitting position.

“Yes.  But I’m really not… hungry right now,” I say, careful to stay respectful but firm sounding. 

Have to keep it in balance.  She’s silent for a moment, probably a little surprised at my slight defiance.

                “Jack, you can’t be full.  Eat it now,” she says a little more forcefully.  Between two finger nails she clips off a little clump of it and shoves it right in front of my face, her enormous fingertips large enough to cover most of my face, the bread intermingling grossly with tiny clumps of dirt trapped under her fingernails.

Mentally, I tell myself to keep my cool.

                “No.”

                “What did you say?”

                “No,” I repeat.  Probably about there.

                “This is your last chance, Jack.  Eat this bread or you’ll be joining Gina in detention.”

                “No thank you,” I say politely.  She shakes her head in disappointment.

                “Fine.  Detention.  And just so you know, you can just wait here until you decide to eat that bread.  I can wait all day, believe me.” 

By “here” she means in her hand, meaning she’s pretty much just going to hold me until I decide to eat it.  I’m sure she secretly doesn’t mind it that much, she enjoys holding us all so much.  This is a very common punishment, but it really only works on those members of the “class” who are afraid of heights.  I got over that crap a very long time ago, so sitting in Julia’s soft palm is practically the same to me as sitting in a little plastic doll chair like usual.  Hell, it’ll probably be more comfortable to be sitting on a soft fleshy pillow than in that hard chair.

                Lunch finishes, and with the hand not holding me she carries the group-filled bus over to the classroom again and continues the lesson about the American Civil War.  She rests her elbow on the desk, keeping her palm in a perfectly upright position so I can sit.  Gina looks up at me nervously a few times in the class.  She’s probably worried about me, since this punishment would probably end with her fainting in fear, were she in my place.  I wink at her to let her know it’s okay, and she seems to be a little better afterward.

                I don’t touch the bread ball.  After an hour or so passes, Julia begins to absent-mindedly shift her elbow around, teetering from side to side, not enough for me to fall off, but definitely enough to feel.  Eventually she sort of gets bored with her hands, probably getting tired from keeping it standing up for so long, and she grips me into a fist with her other hand, making sure to hold onto the bread ball with the other.  She passes me from one fist to the other while still talking, not really paying attention to me, and continues with the lesson.  Eventually she stops in one hand, then cups the other hand, plops me in, and covers me up with the other hand, forcing me to roll up into a compact ball to make room.  My only source of light and air comes from the opening between her thumb and pointer fingers.  On the bright side, I don’t have to worry about falling.  Obviously, though, it does start to get hot in here quickly, and not just from me.  Her palm begins to moisten ever so slightly, in that way hands do before full on sweating.  Her palm flesh is softer when like this (believe me, I’ve been in this position before and I know), so I take the opportunity for a little siesta.