We all huddle together in Brian’s room after dinner and bath time.  Brian is holding Anna against his shoulder as she continuously hugs him, not wanting to say anything.  Gina huddles close against me as we lean on the plastic wall of the dollhouse, with Kelly leaning with her knees against her chest on the other wall.  We aren’t quite sure what to do.  Finally, Brian speaks up.  We all know where this is going to go, but we’re still not prepared for how to take it.

“You all know what I’m going to say,” he says gravely.

“Brian, we can’t do this right now,” says Kelly.

“Well, when are we going to do it?” he says, a little more harshly.  She doesn’t answer.  “Look, I don’t want to have to think about it, but we have to.  Jack made me realize it.  Eventually, I mean, she’s going to know…” he says, looking down at Anna’s stomach.  She places a hand on it protectively.  “She’s going to know about it.”

“Well, what are you saying we do about it then?” says Kelly.

“We have to tell her…” says Anna quietly, finally breaking her silence.

“WHAT?” says Gina, terrified.

“What other choice do we have?  If we don’t, and I start to show, she’s going to know about it and she’s going to be pissed,” replies Anna.

“She’s going to be PISSED either way,” says Gina, almost angrily.

“I don’t hear you coming up with better ideas!” says Anna.

“Look at it this way…” says Kelly suddenly.  “If she picks you up and notices it someday, she’ll accuse you of hiding it from her… she might… I don’t know, she might do something that none of us want to think about.  But if WE are the ones to bring it up, we can at least soften the blow and word it the best way possible to try avoid any… bad reaction she might have.”  We are quiet for a moment.  She’s right, this is going to be the best way.

“No,” says Brian.  We all groan in some way.

“Then what do you want to do?” I say, trying to sound calm.  Being the youngest, I know they don’t look upon me as much of a leader or knowledgeable on these kinds of decisions so I tend not to speak up at times like this, but I really do have to know what in God’s name Brian thinks we should do instead.

“I think we get out first, before she ever sees it.”  Another groan from everyone.

“Brian, you’ve been talking about this for the past year and a half.  It’s not going to happen.  You know it, I know it, and all of us know it,” says Anna.  “Especially after these last couple days, I mean, I just… I KNOW that when she found us, she would just…” she says, but her voice is starting to crack and she can’t finish the sentence.

“She WON’T this time!” says Brian, cutting her off before she can try to finish.

“And what makes this time so different than any other idea you’ve tried to come up with?” says Gina, almost mockingly.  We’re all a little tired of this.

“Because we’ve got HIM,” he answers, pointing at me.  The other three look over at me, and for a moment I’m confused, and then I start to put the pieces together.  I know exactly where this is going.

“What about him?” says Gina, squeezing my arm as she says it, as if she’s afraid I’m about to be whisked away at any second.

“Don’t pretend that all of you can’t tell.  She likes him,” he says matter-of-factly.  Everyone looks at me curiously for a moment, then look back at Brian.  They get it now too.

“No!” says Kelly quickly.

“He can’t!” says Gina, hugging herself closer to me.  I have yet to react; I’m still trying to process the idea.

“Yes.  He can.  Listen, Jack.  You can tell it too.  She likes you.  If you can just try to… play it off a little, maybe get a little closer to her, then we might eventually have a chance to…”

“No, Brian,” says Anna.

“Why not?  It’s the best possible way!  We can’t beat her physically from any angle with any hope.  But… if we can catch her off guard, set up a little ruse…”

“NO,” says Gina, getting more nervous.

“It’s this, or we try to tell her about Anna and brave whatever it is she does in reaction.  Who knows, maybe she’ll kill one of us?” he says, more calmly than before.  He’s set on this.

“BRIAN!” says Anna, gasping and pulling back.  In all my time here, I’ve very rarely heard one of us actually be able to utter the truth aloud.  But he’s right.  Everything Brian has just said is absolutely right.  And I don’t even know what to do with myself.

“But what if he fails, Brian?  What if she finds out what’s going on?” says Kelly.

“Well, what?” he answers.

Kelly looks uncertainly over at me, as if trying to spare my feelings.  “I mean… she’s a young girl.  She likes him.  Who knows how much.  If she finds that he likes her back, then suddenly discovers it was all a trick, I mean… she could do just about anything to him to get back at him.  Breaking her heart AND trying to escape.  It would be worse for him than any of us, wouldn’t it be?” she says, not looking me in the eye as she speaks.  I don’t blame her.  She’s also right, and it scares the living shit out of me.  Brian is quiet, as are all of us.

“Well, I don’t see many other options.  Because even if we DO tell her, and she DOESN’T rip off our legs as a gut reaction, how much longer do you think we have?  It’s time to start thinking about this.  We’re afraid of her.  We’re so afraid of her, we’re afraid to even think of doing anything against her.  And you know why?” he says.  There’s suddenly a fire growing in his eyes, as if he’s planning.

“Because we should be afraid of her!” says Anna, trembling.

“No, we shouldn’t…” says Brian, but he’s cut off again.

“Look, I don’t WANT to live like this, but I also want to live, and if we ever did anything to try to stop her, we won’t live for very long.  And the time up until she ends our lives will be spent having our fucking SPINES cracked in half like wishbones!” cries Anna, her voice rising into a scream before descending again into sobs.  Her head falls back on Brian’s shoulder, and he tries to pat her head.  Gina and Kelly soon join the speaking fray with Brian, and argument fills the room.

It’s at this point I realize it’s time.  My whole life has been a bland, eventless existence.  And now I finally have the chance to do something with my life by possibly helping to save five other lives.  Dizzy, I speak up.

“I’ll do it.”

The room goes silent.  Gina lets go of me so she can turn her whole upper torso to look at me more closely.  “What?” she says disbelievingly.

“I said I’ll do it.”

“No… no, Jack.  You’re NOT going to do it,” says Kelly, shooting Brian a dirty look.  “We’re not going to let you.”

“What are you going to do to stop me?” I answer.  They all look at me in surprise.  I surprise myself.  I’ve never taken charge of the group discussion like this.  A mysterious high is filling my head. 

Or maybe it’s purpose? 

Who the hell knows.

“I think I can.  Brian’s… I mean, I think Brian’s right.  I can tell it sometimes…” I start.  “If I could just… find a way to bring it up, slowly, I might… I might be able to get a moment alone with her.”

“But Jack… that would be fine, except there’s no way for us to get something done while you’re gone.  We can’t get off the table and she won’t leave the computer,” says Kelly.

I suddenly am stopped in my tracks.  There must be a way around this.

“It’s gotta be an emergency,” says Brian.  We all look at him.

“Once you get close enough to her so that she cares a little more about you, we have to wait for her to have the computer up.  And something’s got to happen.  Something’s got to happen to you to scare her so badly that she takes you out of the room immediately without even handling the computer.  Then we can get to work.  Try the email again.”

“That’s all well and good,” says Anna, having recovered a little.  “But once she gets him to the room, she’s going to find out nothing wrong with him.  And what Kelly was saying is going to happen.  We’d all be screwed, Jack worst of all,” she says.  We all think.

“What if we actually… did something to you?” says Brian.  I feel Gina grab my arm again.

“You’re not going to do anything to him!” says Gina.

“Look, Brian,” I say.  “If you do do something to me, she’ll know it was one of you and the same thing will happen.  It’s got to be an accident, something I did to myself.  Meaning I’ve got to do it from my chair in the classroom.”  I’m not sure whether or not this excuse is an attempt to avoid real injury on my part, but I say it anyway.  It seems to make sense.

“Then what do YOU think?” he says, looking at me accusingly.  Everyone else looks over at me with a scared expression.

“Sauce,” I finally say, grinning a little as I say it.  It seems so perfect.

“Um…” says Kelly.  “Sauce?”

“Sauce.  From lunch.  It can be blood,” I say. 

“But if we HAVE sauce for lunch she’ll know it’s not blood, she’ll know it’s sauce.  Especially when she smells it.  And wouldn’t you need a wound?” says Anna.

I think for a moment.  “No.  I can I cough it up, that will take care of needing an open wound.”

“But what about the other thing?  The fact that we just had it for lunch,” says Gina slowly and fearfully.

“We’ll have to save it.  Get as much of it on our shirts as we can, get it back to the room, and just… save it in a corner.  Then after some time passes, we wait for a day where it’s something not red for lunch, I eat it… stick a finger in, it comes back up…” I say, adlibbing as I go.  It’s sounding crazier and crazier with every word, and yet so strangely and potentially successful. 

Everyone is quiet.

“It… could… I mean, it might…” says Kelly finally.

“Then I just do a little… acting, get her to pull me out of that room as fast as I can, she leaves the computer up, and then once she gets me to… wherever she’ll take me to figure out what’s wrong, I milk it for a little more time, give you as long as I possibly can.  It can work…” I say.

“No, Jack!” says Gina.  She grabs my chin and turns my head toward her.  I can see the pure fear in her face, the same face I saw when Julia was forcing her into her hand.  It’s odd to see it being directed at me.

“It can work!” I say more confidently.

“But…”

“I can do it!” I say.  “I can!”  Gina, looking defeated, lets her head hang down.  I can tell this is hitting her hard.  Probably as hard as it’s hitting me, because I’m frankly getting more terrified the longer I talk.  There’s quiet for a while again.  Then Kelly speaks.

“Then I guess we’ve got some preparing to do,” she says, smiling hesitantly.

“What?” I said, suddenly surprised to find she had taken our side.

“Well, let’s face it… this has to be perfect.  You’ll have one shot to reel her in.  You’ll have some help because she already has a little crush on you, but you have to make it grow.  And we’ll help you,” she says.  I see what she means now.

“I can use anything you can give me,” I answer sheepishly.

“Let’s get to work,” says Anna, giving the same hesitant smile.