* * * * *
The young man was known on the Internet as "Jolly Roger" (or "J-Rog," for short) because of his computer piracy skills. He turned on the pc in his office, and waited for it to warm up. Half-humming/half-singing his favorite "Weird Al" Yankovic parody as he did so.
"Everything's a conspiracy...in its own way. La-dee-da-deed-da-dee-da. Da-da-da-da! Dee-doooooooo!"
When the computer was finally ready, he typed in his screen name and began checking his e-mail box for the latest contributions to "Theparanoidsareright.com." He smiled as he noticed that almost all of them were from his favorite contributor, screen-named "Doc Kraepelin."
The first one read: "Insta-message me, ASAP! It's a matter of life-and-death. Literally!"
All the other messages were repeats of the first, with the link-up line color-coded in blue. So, he hit "enter" on the first link and waited for Doc's avatar (the caricature of a balding, middle-aged man in a straight jacket) to appear.
The wait was barely two seconds long.
J-ROG: "Hey-hey! What do you say, Dr. K?"
DOC K: "Oh, Thank God! It's finally you."
J-ROG: "Who else were you expecting? The Fuller Brush Man?"
DOC K: "I'm serious, J. I think I'm in real trouble, this time."
J-ROG: "How so?"
DOC K: "I went to this new restaurant, out here. Wishbone's? And, there was a special item on their lunch menu that advertised it as coming with one magical wish. So, just for a lark, I ordered it. When I had finished it, I half-seriously wished to know the truth behind the Kecksburg UFO incident. And, you'll never guess what happened."
J-ROG: "So, don't waste my time, making me guess. Tell me, already."
DOC K: "I had a retrocognitive vision! And, it revealed to me that the UFO wasn't extra-terrestrial, in origin. It was _extra-dimensional!_ "
J-ROG: "WTF???!"
DOC K: "It's true! And, the crew of that ship--killed on impact, btw--were a humanoid man and woman, who had come here looking to shrink and enslave some of us as pets!!"
J-ROG: "Doc, have you been sniffing empty push-cream cans, again?"
DOC K: "Would you clam up and listen!!!? The vision I had somehow alerted the people these two humanoids worked for. They know I know that they exist. And, they might be coming for me, even as we speak! So, if something happens to me, I want you to have a copy of the proof I've amassed. Do you have a DVD handy for burning?"
J-ROG: "Sure thing. Give me a moment."
A few seconds later, Jolly Roger announced that the down-loading was complete. But, at first, there was no reply.
J-ROG: "Doc? You still there? I said, I'm all finished. Doc? Doc?!"
Almost immediately, he got this chilling reply.
VOREX: "I'm sorry, sir. But, the doctor is busy, right now. Satisfying my hunger pangs!"
tbc?