Chapter Twenty One


I woke to a wasteland.

There was no trace of green to be had in the landscape about me, nor even any color whatsoever. There was a uniform, dead gray. The distant skeletons of a few trees were present. But for the most part, what had once been my home was now an ashen desert.

I was certain that my lab had survived. I had built it to be radiation-proof, nearly immune to destruction and subterranean. Nothing had happened to it. But everything else... At least it wasn't irradiated. The Geiger counter clipped to my belt read normal.

I only managed to think about Sarah after a few minutes, and did so with a mixture of extreme guilt and despair. Had she survived whatever caused this? Where was she? How would I be able to find her? The communicator had been left behind in her world. But we still had the first system she'd created.

I toggled the mic, said desperately, "Sarah, this is Eric. Sarah, do you read?" The only sound was muffled static.

I began walking, because there was nothing to do but to walk. Paranoid visions filled my head. What if Rathbone had succeeded in convincing the council? What if I had arrived a minute after the apocalypse? What if the entire world looked just like what was before me, barren, lifeless and destroyed?

Eventually, I stopped walking. A slight wind picked up, whistling through the eerie silence. I sat down and huddled up, trying to put my thoughts in order.

I came to understand that I was guilty. I had been trying to save two worlds, and failed at doing either. Spread myself too thin. Now both worlds had been left destroyed. Millions of lives lost, and it was all my fault.

Then I criticized myself for being so negative. Just because this place looked ruined, didn't necessarily mean that the entire planet was the same.

And just because I hadn't seen the bomb detonate, it didn't mean that it had exploded. My words sounded futile even in my own head.

My thoughts turned in this morbid cycle for some time. Then I saw movement on the horizon. I leapt to my feet, instantly hopeful. But no, my sense of scale told me that it couldn't be Sarah.

I ran to greet it anyway, feet flying over the ashes of what was once grass. Certainly whoever it was could tell me what had happened. That's all I really needed to know, what happened.

I didn't recognize the face until I was but a few feet away. Her blond hair was grimy, her face smudged with dirt. But I recognized the glasses. I knew who she was.

My hand came up of its own volition, striking her violently across the face. "Chloe, you bitch!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I lunged wildly at the woman as she struggled to her feet, connecting with her chin. "You and your goddamn military, you're the reason for all of this!"

She backed away on hands and knees, pleading. "Eric, no, I didn't..."

"Yes you did, Chloe! You're responsible!" I shouted, still stepping towards her. All my anger, all my helplessness, all of my guilt came pouring out. It was at that moment that I lost all control.

"Eric, please!" There were tears streaking down her dirty face.

I grabbed her by the shirt collar, lifting her up so we saw eye to eye. I pulled back a fist, and got ready to throw a punch.

"Eric, don't!"

It was a woman's voice, but it didn't belong to Chloe. It was far richer, more sonorous, and easily louder. And it was coming from directly behind me.

I practically dropped Chloe as I spun to see Sarah behind me, a look of immense unhappiness upon her face. "You're... you're alive," I said, unable to find words.

"She's not worth it, Eric. You can't drive yourself to violence, lower yourself like that. You told me that yourself..." Sarah was so preoccupied with what I had been doing that she didn't even notice my astonishment.

"You're alive," I repeated, falling to my knees.

She heard me then. "Yes, yes, baby, I'm alive." She said as comfortingly as she could, stroking me with a finger. "And so are you. At least we have that much."

I was sobbing then, uncontrollably. There were tears sliding down her cheeks as well. "Honey, I did the best I could," I said in a rush. "But it wasn't good enough."

"It's okay," Sarah said, without fully understanding my meaning. "We tried our best, both of us, and if it was too much..." She broke off, then suddenly clutched me close to her, her whole hand pressing me to her breast. I felt her tremendous heartbeat, and tried to derive some comfort even as I heard her words. "They launched the missiles, Eric." She sounded heartbroken.

"No," I gasped softly. But I didn't struggle, I didn't flail. Perhaps it was shock. But I prefer to think that I had somehow seen this coming, readied myself for the mental blow which I knew would hit me.

"Yes," she said tearfully. "Rathbone's vote won out. And I tried to argue with them. When that didn't work I threatened, then became violent. They wound up bringing in the air force, firebombing the place.

"I wound up causing the elevator shaft to collapse," she said ruefully. "They're all trapped down there now. I'm betting sooner or later they'll wind up losing oxygen."

"But they succeeded," I said breathlessly. It still felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. "It's all over." Sarah didn't reply, but simply grimaced, tears welling up again. "Don't cry, Sarah," I said desperately. "Don't cry yet. You should cry for your own people."

She took me from her breast and stared at me hard. "Tell me what happened." she said firmly through the sadness.

I proceeded to tell her everything, the last few hours gushing out in a verbal torrent. I told her of the absence of the portal, of using Tamyra to transport us, of Peter's mad plans of domination and Tamyra's treachery. Then I told her of the guards, and the bomb, and my attempt to defuse it.

"I couldn't do it," I said bitterly. "I had no nerve. I just wound up pressing the button. I didn't even think, just panicked. And now, it's all over."

She hushed me, then pressed me to her cheek. "I forgive you," she said softly. "It's all right."

"I forgive you too," I said, and it felt like a great weight was lifting from me. The world was over, but we had survived.

"Do you still love me?" Sarah asked, her voice a soft quaver.

"Yes. With all my heart," I said, letting the feelings take over.

She pressed me to her lips then, gently. It was not a romantic kiss, but one meant to strengthen us. We had each other. And we had to use what was in our possession. How else could we keep our sanity?

Sarah lowered me to the ground. I lifted Chloe to her feet. "I'm sorry," I told her. "I just needed to lash out."

"I understand," she said, and she looked as if she meant it truthfully. I suddenly felt a great rush of pity for her, standing alone there, looking small and fragile. She did not have someone of her own. She had no one to support her, like Sarah and I had each other.

I took her in my arms, and held her tight, stroking her hair. Looking up at Sarah, I saw no disapproval. She understood.

"It's okay," I said softly to Chloe. "I'm here for you, Sarah is here for you. We will survive together." The words built my own internal resolve.

Chloe briefly returned the embrace, then moved slowly away. "Thank you," she mumbled.

Sarah leaned down, thankfully disrupting the awkward moment. "We'll need to find shelter, food, water," she whispered. "What should we do?"

"My lab should still be secure," I said solidly. "We'll be able to take refuge there. Plan our next moves."

"Next moves?" said Chloe.

"There are two worlds we know of now, Chloe," I replied. "They are worlds that are now deeply scarred. There are people in each which will be frightened, and homeless, and afraid. They won't know where to turn. Like you, they will think themselves alone.

"They need people to be there for them. They need people to help them pick up the pieces. They need leaders, not bureaucrats holed up in bunkers, launching bombs from afar. They need heroes. But most of all they need faces they feel they can rely on, people to tell them everything will be okay, and help them return it to that state.

"I think, and I hope you will agree with me, that we just might be the people for this job."

There was contemplative silence for a moment. Then, slowly, Chloe began to nod. Sarah followed suit. "We can do this," Chloe said positively.

"We can help," added Sarah.

"We'll do all that we can," I affirmed. And with that, there was a bond between us. We were now allies in a war not against any one mortal enemy, but against the specters of fear and disaster. Though we would part ways, we would always be connected.

Sarah extended her hand, and Chloe and I stepped onto it. Slowly, steadily, she began to stride off in the direction of the lab. There would be talk there, I knew. Possibly arguments. But what we would discuss would shape our efforts, and possibly the new worlds.

For the first time in a long, long while, I felt a glimmer of hope.