Ren awoke at a wooden kitchen table sitting on a wicker hewn chair. The last thing he could recall was the horrified look on his wife's face as she rushed over to grab him. Looking around at his surroundings, it was clear he was situated in a kitchen with towering countertops barricading him from the fridge and cooking appliances. It took him a moment to register how tall everything was. He had spent so much time as a plucky sprite that household objects stretching on forever had become common place. It wasn't until he spotted Her that his new scale became apparent.

            A woman, a comely pillar reaching up far past the heavens, stood by the counter with Her back turned to the sprite. In the material world, Ren clocked in at a centimeter tall, an ant compared to his wife and guardian angel. But here, wherever this was, Molly and Petra would appear to this woman even smaller he did to them, making him no more than a flake of dust to the behemoth standing before him. He was small enough to make out the grooves of Her bare heel. Her casual clothing clashed with Her monstrous immensity. Her legs, each as tall as the Empire State Building, were covered in denim, the high-waisted mom jeans accentuating Her planetary posterior. Above that, She wore a purple sweater; straight black hair cascaded down to the small of Her back. Her incomprehensible size only further emphasized Her shapely figure.

            “Hello there, Renton,” the woman said as She turned around, holding a large tray in Her hands. She appeared to be in Her early forties, though Ren had the sneaking suspicion that wasn’t remotely close to Her true age. Her smile was warm and her features soft; the sprite couldn't have dreamed up a more welcoming guise, even in spite of how imposing it was suspended a mile into the air. “Would you care for a cookie? I just finished frosting them.” The woman knelt down and lowered a sugar cookie from Her tray onto Ren's table. The wooden furniture couldn't hold even a sliver of an edge of the extensive treat. It collapsed like it were made of paper, the legs snapping as soon the cookie made contact. The blasted thing was expansive enough to host a city block, and Ren wasn't sure if he was actually expected to eat any of it. 

            “Your head must plagued with questions, Dearie,” the woman continued, squatting beside Ren in an attempt to get closer to him. He still had to crane his neck as far back as he could just to get a full glimpse of Her face past Her mountainous breasts. No, mountainous wasn't the right word. At Ren's size, each of Her toes were indomitable mountains. Her breasts were more like celestial bodies. “My name is Wndr. I don't neatly fit into any depictions you're familiar with, but I am essentially what you humans would refer to as God.”

            So, God's a giant MILF? Ren thought. Given how his guardian angel portrayed herself, he shouldn't have been all that surprised.

            “That's right!” Wndr giggled at the sprite's blushing face. “Sorry. I always forget you mortals aren't keen on me reading your minds.” Hearing that, Ren fought a hopeless battle against a horde of intrusive thoughts, lewd and uncouth imagery of his lovely host. This elicited further giggling from the gigantic goddess. “It's funny, all you humans have the same reaction upon hearing I can see your thoughts. I don't mind by the way. Trust me, I've literally seen it all.” This didn't ease Ren's guilt, the intrusive thoughts becoming more powerful the longer he looked at her. “Would you feel more comfortable if I stripped?” she asked with a wry grin. The blaring red sprite elicited further giggles from the goddess.

            “Um, Wndr?” He had no clue if he was pronouncing that right despite having heard Her say it. “How's Molly doing?” The goddess stood up and held out her finger. The simple act of moving instilled an existential dread in Ren. Something as enormous as her shouldn't be able to move as quickly as she could, as if Her tectonic motions were as inconsequential as they would be for the microscopic Ren. In a flash of light, Ren was no longer seated at the crushed table, but now sitting in the groove of Wndr's fingerprint. 

            “It appears you understand why you're here. You always were a smart one.” A large armchair, a simple one made of wood and upholstered, appeared behind Wndr for Her to sit down in. “For failing to stay undetected, you have been discharged from the Heaven's Reborn Initiative. Your beloved is taking this about as well as you'd expect.”

            “So, not well at all.”

            “Few who fail the program do,” Wndr conceded. “All the grief they once felt comes back tenfold knowing they had you only to lose you again. Not to mention the blame. The living always believe it's their fault you're gone whether or not that's the truth of it.” Ren's head sunk into his arms as he crawled into a fetal position. “Oh, but don't be too down on yourself. You'll get to see her again once it's her time.”

            “And when is that?” Ren thoughtlessly asked.

            “Well, Molly's a healthy girl, and given future medical advancements…” Wndr counted off her free hand’s fingers. “She still has ninety-three years left.”

            Thinking back, Ren couldn't remember a time without Molly in his life. They had been together from the beginning, before they could even speak. “Ninety-three years,” he muttered. He couldn't even fathom living that long. And without Molly? He wasn't sure how to go over a week without her, let alone a lifetime. A full lifetime, not the fraction of one he had.

            “It's going to be okay,” Wndr consoled him. “Heaven offers plenty of amenities to occupy your eternal stay. Anything you can dream of is waiting for you.”

            “Except the only thing I want.” Responding to Ren's moping, Wndr rubbed her free hand's forefinger down the sprite's back. Or attempted to. At her size, she pretty much just sandwiched him between her fingers. The weight of her fingertip exceeded anything Ren had ever endured, including the full weight of his wife, and though he couldn't feel pain, there was still the sensation that he was about to burst like a grape in a microwave. And he welcomed it in the off chance oblivion could ease the suffering of his hollow heart.

…

            “Molly, what the hell is going on?” Becca screamed. Molly had crumpled to the floor, a crying, stuttering mess. Her three friends stood around her, each as baffled as the next. Lindsay had held a tiny Ren in her cleavage, then Molly showed up and freaked out, and then mini Ren vanished like he was never there. It was like something out of a dream, but their bawling friend assured them what they saw was real.

            “Molly, what's wrong?” Lindsay knelt down and patted her friend's back in an attempt at offering her any sort of comfort. “Can you tell us? We want to help you.”

            “Ren… Ren…” Molly’s face was a hot pink mess of snot and tears. Every word came out in a gasp, each one carrying with it the pain felt throughout her entire body. “Ren died… then, he came back… small… Petra's his angel… I had to keep him a secret… and I failed… and he's gone… and he's gone… he's gone…” Lindsay looked up at the other two, hoping they made some sense from that, but their expressions told her they were just as lost. Molly lurched out and grabbed Lindsay's shoulders. “What do I do!? He's gone! I can't live without him! What do I do?”

            “Where'd he go?” Lindsay asked, unsure what else to do besides play along. “Can we get him back?”

            “Lindsay, what are you saying?,” Becca whispered. “Ren's dead.”

            Lindsay mouthed, I know, and shrugged. What am I supposed to do?

            “You're right. He's dead,” Molly muttered with grave solemnity. “He's in Heaven. He's…” The others could all see the gears turning in Molly's fractured mind. Without another word, the athlete leapt up, knocking Lindsay onto her back, and darted into the kitchen. She rummaged through all the drawers, yanking them open like a mad woman. Chaz bent down to help Lindsay up while Becca just watched in frightful bewilderment. Molly kept searching until she found the utensil drawer and pulled out a knife. The blade, long and serrated, gleamed beneath the ambient sunlight coming through the sliding glass doors as Molly pointed the tempered steel at her throat.

…

            Wndr lifted Her finger off Ren, though the tiny sprite found himself clung to it as he was hoisted into the air. Eventually, the surface tension gave out and he fell back onto the tip of the goddess’ other finger. He laid there, his face buried in the groove, unwilling to move.

            “Wait, my Goddess!” Petra appeared in a flash of light between Ren and the rest of Wndr. She was adorned in her angelic garb, a white slit dress with gold accents. The dress, connected at the neck, didn’t cover an inch of her bare back, instead crossing over along the hips to drape over the lower half of her ass. There were no signs of underwear; given the angle at which he stood, Ren was sure of that much. Though much larger than Ren, the angel didn't even span half the length of the goddess’ fingernail. “Please don't penalize Ren. This is all my fault.” Wndr cocked an eyebrow at the angel's intrusion. “I trapped him in a bag of gummies. He had no way of getting out. Molly and Ren aren’t to blame; it’s all my fault.” Petra turned to the side so she could face Ren and the goddess. “I’m so sorry, Ren.”

            “Renton, is what she says true?” Wndr inquired. “Is all the blame to rest on her?” Ren hesitated. What Petra said was accurate, but he didn’t like how the question was phrased. He felt as if he were walking into a trap. “If so, I’ll have no choice but to punish her.”

            “Punish?” Ren glanced at the angel. She stood stoically, unshaken by the massive woman’s words.

            “Of course. An angel erring reflects poorly on me, so I do what I must to keep these mistakes from occurring again.” The weight of her words struck Ren more than that of her immense finger. The façade of a caring mother fled from her expansive expression as an arbiter of discipline took the reins. “Tell me, Renton, must Petra face divine retribution? The consequences will be most severe.”

            Ren bit his tongue. He wanted to see Molly again more than anything, and he’d crawl through Hell itself for her, but to sacrifice Petra was another matter entirely. The angel had spoken the truth. Intentional or not, she played the primary role in Ren’s discovery through her carelessness and neglect. Rightfully, Ren should be given another chance while Petra bears the brunt of the admonishment. But he couldn’t abandon her, not for his own admittedly selfish wants. This wasn’t a mother scolding her daughter, a teacher condemning the class clown, or even a judge deciding a convict’s fate. This was a realm of gods beyond time and scale. What were “severe consequences” to an immortal? What punishment could befit a woman who existed before life itself? Ren couldn’t leave Petra to suffer a fate he likely wouldn’t be able to comprehend.

            “I should remind you, Renton, that it’s inadvisable to lie an omniscient.” Wndr’s eyes beamed down on him like spotlights, their heat pressing him for an answer. The sprite looked up to the towering angel for guidance. Petra stared at him in silence, unable to lead him down the correct path. The corners of her lips quivered, her cheeks grew flush, and her body trembled. She was terrified; that’s what most would think, but Ren knew better. He saw that look in her eyes. Not fear. Not guilt or hesitation. Her pupils burned with the black flames of hunger. She was… excited? “Well, Renton? I need an answer.”

            “Everything Petra said is right,” Ren reluctantly admitted. Petra sucked her lips into her mouth, trying not to erupt in a large grin.

            “Very well.” Wndr snapped her free hand’s fingers. “Cindy!”

            “Yes, my Goddess?” A blue-haired angel adorned in a black corset, leather G-string, and knee-high stiletto boots appeared beside Petra. It was the dominatrix Ren met during his brief tour of the Downstairs, the bubbly Cindy who decimated hapless sinners to the tune of her own degrading remarks.

            “Petra here has erred gravely and is in need of strict remediation. I am putting you in charge of her atonement. Show her no mercy.”

            “With pleasure, ma’am,” Cindy saluted. She turned to Petra, chomping at the bit so hard as to almost shatter her sultry mien. From his vantage point below, Ren could see the wet stain forming on the thin fabric covering Petra’s crotch. “Darling Petra’s been naughty, has she? I can certainly fix that.” A whip appeared in the dominatrix’s hand, and with a flick of the wrist, its barbed wire cracked at Petra’s chest, sending the angel plummeting to her knees. Cindy circled around the pink-haired beauty and kicked the center of her back, sending her forward onto her arms. Cindy’s boot remained firmly in place as she grinded her heel into the angelic flesh. She placed her arm on her knee and leaned forward, increasing the pressure on Petra to exhilarating levels. “I want to hear you squeal, worthless swine!”

            “Suuueeeeey!” Petra moaned. “Oink! Oink!”

            “Louder!” Cindy mashed her foot into Petra’s back, stomping on her like the groveling maggot she was. “Louder! I want you to drown out the chorus on Sunday mass.”

            “Sqweeeeeeeee!” Tears welled in Petra’s eyes. Breaths escaped her lungs in exasperated croaks. Her skin blushed a burning red. Her bliss was transcendent. Ren felt the ground beneath him jostle as the Goddess readjusted herself. The looming face watched the angels’ display unblinking, Her free hand sliding down towards her crotch.

            These are the architects of reality? Ren asked himself, wondering how all the churches of the world could have gotten it so wrong. “So, does this mean I can go back to Molly now?” Ren doubted his voice could be heard over Petra’s gasps and groans, but Wndr snapped out of her trance to address the sprite.

            “I don’t recall ever saying you could return to Earth,” Wndr decreed. Ren stood there in stunned silence. Cindy removed her boot from Petra and grabbed a handful of the angel’s pink locks, yanking her head back so she could face the goddess.

            “But Goddess,” Petra yelped, “it was my fault he was discovered. I’m taking the punishment in his place.”

            “Your punishment is to deter further fallibility. It has no bearing on Renton’s untimely discovery. Three unwarranted individuals witnessed him, relinquishing his eligibility for the Heaven’s Reborn Initiative. How can you expect to me to bend those rules for Renton and not the thousands of other sprites who have failed?”

            Petra stood up, knocking Cindy onto her butt, the other angel nonplussed by her sub’s act of resistance. “Because he did nothing wrong! I trapped him in that bag of living candy. I left him completely unattended with no way to get in touch. I ‘tampered’ with Sheila’s charges and led Lindsay to seek out more gummies. All of this is because of me. Punish me. Stamp me out ‘til there’s nothing left, but let Ren and Molly be together. In all my years, I’ve never encountered a couple less deserving of being torn apart.” Wndr glared at the angel on her finger, her silent stare betraying no emotion.

            “Not to speak out of turn, my Goddess,” Cindy stood up and brushed off her legs and rear, “but this dilemma presents an opportunity: a test run of Heaven’s Descent.” Ren’s eyes flickered between the three women, hoping one of their reactions would elaborate on what Cindy was talking about. The way things stood, it seemed the sprite was the only one out of the loop. Wndr leaned back and placed her hand to her chin, pressing her index finger against her lips in deep deliberation.

…

            “Molly!”

            “Aaaaah!”

            “Shit, shit!” Chaz sprinted into the kitchen and tackled Molly, grabbing her waist and arm, holding her wrist tight enough to force the knife free as they collapsed to the floor. Molly writhed in Chaz’s clutches, desperate to end the pain gouging her heart. Becca and Lindsay rushed over to her and helped Chaz get her off the floor, her body falling limp as more tears streamed down her face. The two girls brought her back to the living room and sat her down on the sofa between them; Chaz soon followed, first retrieving the knife and returning it to the drawer.

            “You've got to talk to us, babe,” Becca said, trying to wipe up Molly's tears with her sleeve. “What the hell is happening around here?”

            Molly took several deep breaths and divulged everything from the past few weeks: Ren's resurrection, the Heaven's Reborn Initiative, Petra's angelic nature, and how she had been hiding Ren all this time. Every mention of Ren made her choke, but eventually she got through all the important details.

            “That's wild,” Lindsay commented. “Had I not held him a moment ago, I'd think you had gone looney.” Chaz got up and filled a glass of water for Molly, still processing her words of the unreal. 

            “It makes a weird amount of sense, though,” Becca declared. Chaz handed Molly the glass, the woman taking light sips from it. “That explains how you got over Ren's death so quickly, and why you were so eager to hook up with Petra.”

            “I'm sorry I had to lie to you both.” Molly had finally finished crying, her bloodshot eyes all dried out. “I wanted to let you all know he was alive and well, but I'd do anything to be with him, even if it means keeping him hidden from the whole world.”

            “You don't need to apologize!” Becca shouted with Lindsay nodding along. “Sure, I was worried about you. Lindsay was too. But, you had every right to keep this secret from us

            “If anything, we should be apologizing,” Chaz added. “It sounds like it's our fault Ren's gone now.”

            “No. No, don't blame yourselves. I'm doing plenty of that as is.” Molly kept looking at her palms, praying each glance that Ren would simply pop back up. Lindsay wrapped her arms around her friend’s shoulders and embraced her. Becca stepped in front of Molly and grabbed her hands.

            “We’ll get him back.” Becca shook her best friend’s hands, her weepy eyes beaming with optimism. “There’s got to be a way. We’ll storm the gates of Heaven if we have to!” Chaz and Lindsay nodded along to her, though neither was sure if rescuing him was even possible.

            “I appreciate you trying to cheer me up. I really do.” Molly couldn’t smile, her lips too feeble to do much beyond whimpering. “I just can’t imagine life without him. Every time I try I just…” She eyed Chaz, wondering if she could slip past him to get to the knife in the kitchen. “…I don’t want to go on living anymore.”

            “Don’t say stuff like that!” Lindsay admonished.

            “I’m sorry. I love you guys, but…” She stared straight into the floor, unable to look at her friends’ worried faces. “I don’t care if it makes me selfish or a coward. There’s nothing in this world I want more than to be with Ren. I’d give anything to see him again.”

            “You know that’s not what he wants, though,” Lindsay protested. “He’d never want you to throw it all away for him. You’ve got to be strong!”

            Molly actually chuckled. “Knowing him, Ren’s sitting up there in paradise being fawned over by angels, moping that I’m not at his side. He could never last a week without me. Whenever I’d go on vacation, my folks would have to upgrade our phone plan because of all the texts he kept sending me.” Becca leaned in to hug her friends, the three women crying on each other’s shoulders. Molly felt like she was back at the funeral with grief consuming her essence. It was a feeling she wished never to return to, but she knew she’d never escape it for as long as she lived.

            “Uh, guys?”

            “Shut up, Chad. We’re having a moment.”

            “Guys?”

            “Chad, what’d I just say?”

            “You’re going to want to see this.”

            Becca was ready to slug the boorish jock, but she realized something was off. At some point during the ladies’ cry sesh, the floor had become warm and pliable as if it were alive. An intense fragrance of freshly baked cookies permeated the air she breathed. Becca opened her eyes to see a face more expansive than the very sky looking down at her.

            “My my, what a cute bunch you are,” Wndr cooed. The three women were standing on the goddess’ fingertip only a short distance away from Petra and Cindy. Chaz was a bit towards the back, not far from the tiny Ren wedged between the trenches of Wndr's fingerprint. All six full-sized adults fit comfortably on the end of the goddess’ finger with no threat of being pushed off the edge to a terminal drop.

            “Wha the fuh?” Becca gasped, taking in the mile-tall woman as best as her mortal brain could. Lindsay and Chaz stared with bulging eyes and mouths agape. Years worth of pent-up fantasies gushed through their amygdalas like white water rapids, in awe at the megalithic woman holding them.

            “Oh, I love the way you two think.” A prurient smirk etched itself across Wndr's face as She read the couple’s imaginative minds. “Remind me to pay you both a visit once your time comes.”

            It took Molly a moment to take in her surroundings. The mile-tall Goddess barely registered. She saw Petra standing between her and the never-ending palm, which meant he should be around somewhere. Somewhere on the fluted flesh floor should be a sprite no taller than a centimeter. Her eyes scanned every nook of the labyrinthine fingerprint until she spotted her lover's miniscule frame stuck between the grooves. 

            “Ren!” Molly pushed her friend's aside and dove for her wee husband.

            “Mol-” Ren was interrupted by the world's softest pair of lips, the plush vermillion molding around him as Molly kissed the living hell out of him. She sandwiched him between her palm and mouth, refusing to let go to let either of them speak. The pair fell into a cycle of kissing, crying, kissing some more, muttering something indistinguishable to anyone else, more kissing, more crying, Molly wiping snot off her nose and lips, Ren wiping snot off his everything, more kissing, and more indecipherable muttering. Molly only broke free when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Petra stood over her, tears welling in her eyes. The angel knelt down and tightly hugged the tomboy.

            “I'm sorry!” Petra bawled, staining Molly's shoulder with divine tears. “It's all my fault! I'm sorry!” Molly embraced the angel, patting her on the back and pressing Ren into her deltoid in an unconventional group hug. More crying occurred.

            “It's okay. We're all together. It's okay.” Molly wiped her tears, her arm utterly drenched by this point, and finally looked around. “Are we in Heaven?” She caught as much of a glimpse of Wndr as would fit within her vision. “Is that God?”

            “Essentially,” Wndr confirmed. Despite Her size, the Goddess’ voice projected itself at the perfect volume, not too loud on the mortals’ delicate ears. “Petra can explain all the details at a later time. All you need to know for now is that I, in all my bountiful mercy, have decided to give you a second chance. Dear Renton may return to Earth with you lot, no penalties and no strings attached, with the understanding that no one beyond those present here may know of his spritely status…” Molly and Ren beamed at the news, but Wndr wasn't yet finished. “...on the condition that you all pass a test of my divising.”

            “Written or practical?” Ren asked.

            “Practical. I need proof you all can handle knowing the transcendental truths of the universe without inadvertently unraveling the very fabric of reality.”

            “How would us knowing Ren's the size of a blueberry lead to…” Chaz began to ask.

            “Do not question me,” Wndr declared with a booming thunderhead. The world around them grew dark, the kitchen vanishing behind a veil of stars. Wndr’s hair rose as if affected by static electricity, and Her pupils went pale as if possessed by an unknowable evil. “You are but bacteria clinging to a pebble drifting through the seas of the infinite cosmos; a speck of dust carried along the paths predetermined by the winds of fate. You are daft to the intricate workings that lie beyond the extent of your feeble comprehensions. The fact I risk toppling the delicate balance I have long and meticulously machinated is a greater mercy than any mortal rightfully deserves, and I expect nothing short of profound gratitude.” Wndr's disparaging words were meant to instill existential fear into the young man, but all they did were get his gears turning and stiffen the soldier in his trunks. With unearthly ease, Wndr’s scowl reverted back to a pleasant smile, the goddess enjoying the taste of Chaz’s overactive imagination. “Anyway, I have big plans. ‘Goddess moves in mysterious ways’ and all that, so you darling little things are going to serve as my trial phase.”

            Ren raised his hand, hoping to get more answers, but Wndr just glared at him. At least, she was probably aiming it at him. It was impossible to tell who exactly she was looking at when everyone fit comfortably within her field of view. Ren kept his hand up under the Goddess’ gaze for a commendable length, but he eventually conceded, slipping his arm back behind his wife's finger.

            “Petra can answer any further questions upon your return. The test won't begun until Spring Break is over, so enjoy what's left of your vacation. But remember, each one of you must pass if you are to keep Renton in the material realm. Any slip-up, any sign of failure, is grounds to have Renton whisked back to Heaven where he belongs.”

            In the blink of an eye, Molly was once again seated on the sofa in the beach house's living room. Ren sat in her hands with Becca and Lindsay on either side of her, and Chaz now next to Lindsay. Petra sat across from them on the coffee table, her hands cupped over her crossed knees. Her angelic garb had been swapped out with an Evanescence T-shirt, a blue plaid skirt, and nylon leggings.

            “That wasn't a dream, right?” Becca asked, scanning the mundane room around her. “We were really standing on a goddess’ finger?” Looking down at Molly's palm, specifically the shrunken Ren standing there, affirmed her musings. Becca reached out her finger and poked at Ren's face, just to make absolutely sure he was real.

            “Has he really been with you this whole time?” Lindsay asked, joining Becca in poking the sprite. Ren stood there stoically, withstanding the relentless flurry of pokes. “Ever since he died?”

            “I found him after the funeral. I'm not sure what he was up to before that.” Molly spared her partner from her friend’s poking and brought him to her cheek, nuzzling the little man against her tear-stained skin.

            “Most of that time, I was stuck to the bottom of your sneaker,” Ren explained while Petra awkwardly tried laughing off that mishap. Though Molly heard him perfectly clear, the others only heard squeaks, prompting Petra to set up a soul link between Ren and the rest of the group.

            “Seriously? What were you doing down there?” She lowered him back towards her lap and chuckled, figuring he must’ve dove down there on purpose. Ren didn’t have the energy to protest and simply sighed. “But yeah, I've been hiding Ren on me ever since. Usually in my shirt, sometimes… other places.”

            Chaz's attention drew towards a lamp in the corner, afraid of getting a hard-on if he looked at Molly holding and cuddling her tiny lover. Fortunately, he had plenty of distractions, like erasing the memories of everything he had said to his former crush back when he assumed Ren was no longer of this world. But his mental purge stopped short, interrupted by Petra's hand pressed against his chest.

            “I believe Molly gave you all the basic gist on Heaven's Reborn, but allow me to explain all the juicy details.” As Petra spoke, white runes appeared in a circle around Chaz's pecks.      “Sprites are the human soul made manifest, given a semi-physical form to interact with the material world. They can be seen, touched, tasted, and much more by anyone with the faculties to perceive those things.” Between her summation, Petra mumbled a muted incantation and pulled Chaz's soul out of his body, transforming it into a centimeter-tall sprite in her hand. He had on a silk long sleeve and slacks that matched Ren’s spritely attire. His real body laid unconscious on the sofa, his head tilting back onto the head of the couch as if he were asleep. “Any soul, living or dead, can be made into a sprite, as can be seen here.” Petra tossed the miniature meathead to Lindsay who caught him in a frantic flail. “And the best part is that they're completely impervious to harm. You could run them over with a twelve wheeler and they'd come out fine.”

            Chaz fell back on his rump within his girlfriend's palm. Her, Molly, Becca, everything stretched out to once unthinkable scales. The mile-tall goddess was one thing, but seeing the people and furniture and rooms and world he was intimately familiar with from the perspective of a gnat unnerved him, like waking up from a surreal dream into an uncanny reality. Peering up at the billboard of a face, Chaz could see every pore, every hair, every flake of dry skin on Lindsay’s visage. The crust around her eyes and the snot in her nose all enhanced as if uprezzed on an 8K display. Her breath washed over him like the backdraft of a jet engine. The lingering, artificial fruity aroma of gummies stuck to her palm filled Chaz’s miniscule nostrils. Videos, art, smut, and countless wet dreams couldn’t prepare the man for the real thing. It was exhilarating beyond belief.

            And the best part is that they’re completely impervious to harm. Petra’s words echoed in Lindsay’s head as she observed the bug boy in her hand. Predatory instincts that should have phased out of the gene pool millennia ago inspired a euphoric sense of authority, of power, of control. Of complete domination over another life. And the best part is that they’re completely impervious to harm. The things she could do to this mite of a man. Her man. All hers to do with as she pleased. No more need for gummy bears. Chewing candy and pretending to hear the screams was a thing of the past. Now she had the real thing, and it was the only thing she’d ever need. And the best part is that they’re completely impervious to harm. That sounds like a challenge. Push this puny sprite to its limits. See how long before she breaks the unbreakable. How many stomps would it take to get to the center of this Tootsie Pop? The only thing she wanted was to find out. The hard way, preferably.

            “I’ve got a question,” Becca asked by raising her hand, unaware of the bloodlust oozing forth from the other end of the couch. “Do we all get guardian angels like you? And are they all… like you?” Becca curved her hands in the shape of an hourglass.

            “Yes to the first part,” Petra giggled. “Every human is assigned a guardian angel at birth. Those lucky enough to find their soulmate on Earth share their angel with that special someone. For example, I’m both Ren and Molly’s guardian angel. Lindsay and Chaz also share an angel.”

            “Sup.” Sheila appeared out of nowhere perched on the armrest beside Chaz’s unconscious body, wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned with the Nine Inch Nails logo overtop booty shorts with fishnet leggings leading down to a pair of combat boots. She looked bored as ever, though beneath the surface she found Lindsay’s fetishistic cravings delicious.

            “As for our appearance, well, obviously we can’t all be as captivatingly curvaceous as moi,” Sheila, the more modest chested of the two, flipped Petra off, “but our looks are shaped to suit our charges’ tastes. That includes you, Becca.”

            “Hey there!” Another angel greeted Becca while sitting on the armrest beside her. She had a slim, almost masculine frame and very handsome features. Her black hair was cut short in a business casual style, and she sat with her legs crisscrossed. She adorned herself in a chic top depicting the album art of Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory, and a pair of well-worn, dark grey denim jeans. “Name’s Alex. Nice to meet ya!”

            “Alright, Alex,” Becca had her own test in mind, eyeing her angel from head to toe, “tell me, if we were to go out, what would be your ideal date?”

            “Laser tag. Then, we'd get burgers and milkshakes at a 50s style diner. After that, we'd head back to your place, roll out a couple of sleeping bags, and make smores while watching campy horror flicks.” 

            Becca clasped her hands around her angel's, the young woman's eyes sparkling. “You're perfect. Do you want to go to the aquarium with me?”

            “Hell yeah!” Alex hopped off the sofa and dragged an excited Becca by the arm out of the beach house.

            “Any more questions?” Petra inquired. Lindsay was preoccupied prodding Chaz with her finger, sneering at how easy it was to pin him to her palm. Likewise, Molly was busy caressing Ren with her thumb, elated over their quick reunion. “Well, I'll leave you all to it. I have my punishment to get to, and I don't want to keep Cindy waiting any longer. Though, maybe if I'm late, she'll add an extra penalty to my sentence.” Petra's eyes glazed over as she dreamt of the possibilities.

            “Freak,” Sheila snidely remarked.

            “Wait, what about the test?” Ren asked, trying to stay focused with the loveliest thumb pressing into his face. “Can you share any details? What’s expected of us.”

            “Honestly, couldn’t tell you,” Petra shrugged. “For all I know, my Goddess hasn’t even come up with the specifics yet. But you shouldn’t worry about it. Just follow your heart and everything will work itself out.” For whatever reason, Ren wasn’t satisfied with that answer at all. Petra leapt off the table and gave the group a wave. “I'll be leaving you guys again, but this time you'll have Sheila looking after you, so please reach out to her for anything. Buh-bye!” With a slovenly grin, Petra vanished, leaving the two couples with the moody angel. Sheila stepped off the armrest and walked in front of the sofa, placing her hands at her waist as she stood before her wards.

            “Alrighty,” she cheered in monotone. “You two ready to fuck the shit out of your boy toys?” Lindsay nodded fervently, but Molly stood up off the couch and stepped away.

            “Actually, I'd like to spend some alone time with Ren first.”

            “I was thinking the same thing,” Ren added from Molly's palm.

            “We might join you guys in a bit, but please feel free to start without us.” Molly waltzed out of the living room, carrying her husband upstairs to one of the bedrooms, leaving the shrunken Chaz alone with two vicious beasts in unassuming clothing.

            “Now then,” Sheila gestured for Lindsay to rise, “let's fit you in something more appropriate.” The moody angel put her hand on the girl's shoulder and began chanting. Black and red runes etched themselves across Lindsay's casual wear, morphing the basic shorts and top into an ensemble of leather and spikes that left little to the imagination. “That's better. Now the fun can begin.”