Sofia Romero pressed firmly into the small of her lower back. The 41-year old Italian woman massaged the angry, fiery knot. She found some paradoxical semblance of relief in the pain she was causing with the strong pressure.  In her eyes, there was such a thing as productive pain and discomfort as long as it served the greater good, and attacking this thorny knot was necessary.  She checked her wrist watch and sighed.

When Sofia was younger, she could work doubles back-to-back on Friday and Saturday and still have her girls up and dressed for church on Sunday morning.  As she was getting older, however, Sofia found movement to be a bit more difficult and have lasting effects into the next day.  She blamed most of it on age although a fair amount of blame probably fell on the weight she’d gained steadily over the last decade as well.  Even normal days felt a bit too long and were filled with a bit too much exertion.  That was what she thought of normal days;  today was anything but normal and if nothing else, agonizing.

Apparently there had been a major celebrity staying at the hotel who had rented out the entire 18th floor.  Sofia heard some of the other staff talking about the celebrity during breaks but the 41-year old maid had never heard of her and didn’t quite care to know who it was anyway.  All she knew was that the celebrity and her posse had checked out a few nights ago and were apparently so wealthy they could afford to trash every single room because that is exactly what they did.  

Her shift had started the previous night at 7:30pm and she was supposed to leave at midnight.  However, seeing as she was one of the more senior employees in age, tenure, and experience,  Sofia was asked by management to stay on for the 18th floor cleaning, efforts that had been going on for the whole week.  To add insult to injury, the 18-year old floozie that started last week who was supposed to be taking the morning cleanups was running late, so Sofia had to handle that until she arrived.  

Sofia hit a few of the occupied rooms on the 18th floor for the routine morning cleanings before finally clocking out for the morning, and she was practically fantasizing about getting this wet, sticky clothing off her tired, aching body and getting lost in a nice, long, luxurious bath.

Sofia mopped the perspiration from her forehead as she entered Room 1826. After only a few hours into her shift, Sofia decided her choice of skirt-and-shirt was not conducive to the deep-cleaning needed for this special task so she changed into a well-fitting pair of soft, gray pants that seemed to have grown tighter over the years. She would have loved to have changed her underwear as well, considering how saturated in sweat they were, but she only had the change of pants in her locker.  She just kept thinking about that nice, long celebratory bath waiting for her at home…if she ever got home. 

She was only starting to pull a clean set of disposable gloves from the maid cart stationed outside of 1826 when Sofia heard quiet footsteps from behind her growing closer.

“Excuse me?” a voice said.

Sofia turned around to see a young woman, perhaps in her late teens.  The girl had subtle hints of red highlights waving through a mane of thick, lush messy chestnut brown hair.  The brunette had fair skin and a large set of black thick-framed glasses that looked almost comical on her small, cherubic face. The two were roughly the same height, but Sofia judged she had several dozen pounds on her.  Sofia might have thought this brunette girl with glasses might be a preteen had she not been so busty. She had a fair amount of sleep-cleavage on full display in her pajamas

‘Girls these days…having to be scantily clad even while sleeping…’ Sofia thought with a subtle eye roll.

“Can you help us with something?” the busty brunette with glasses asked. Something about her looked familiar.

“My shift is ending after this room, honey.” Sofia said firmly. “You’ll have to track down my replacement.” 

‘Not falling for it today’ Sofia said to herself as she resumed putting on her gloves and turning away from the young brunette, expecting the spectacled girl to give up. The wise maid had gotten roped into a wide variety of eleventh-hour tasks outside of her scope of responsibility to include unclogging toilets, cleaning up spills, even changing soiled bedding.  

“Oh, You’re done working?! Perfect, that’s even better!” the brunette’s voice cheerfully rang excitedly from behind Sofia.  

Sofia turned around and gave an incredulous look.  

“Young lady, if I’m not helping you while I’m on the clock, I’m sure as hell not going to help you while I’m off.”

Sofia squinted her eyes, taking a second look at this mildly pretty brunette.  

“Wait a minute, don’t I know you?”

The brunette smiled, “Yes, you were cleaning up my hotel room last night.”  

“My name is Katie.”

“Katie Walker.” 

“It's nice to formally meet you.” Katie extended her hand; Sofia politely accepted it, trying only so hard to mask her annoyance.  “My goodness…” Katie continued, “...have you been working since then?  Since our encounter in my bathroom?”

Sofia replied quickly, “Yup, sure have.  I’m sorry dear but I need to finish this room up and then I have a very hot date with my hot tub and bath robe. I’m sure my replacement can help you with whatever you need.”

“I seriously doubt that, Sofia.” 

Sofia turned her head in confusion as the brunette smiled, her brown eyes oddly fixated on Sofia’s hips.    

“I think you’re the only one that can help us.  We need you.  Please, can you join us in Room 1818?”

“No.” Sofia said flatly, “Now please leave me alone. I need to put this horrible shift behind me.”

Sofia had crossed into Room 1826 when she heard Katie’s voice from the hallway. It made Sofia stop dead in her tracks.  

“1,000 dollars…”

The tired, sweaty, exhausted maid sighed and took off her gloves.

Katie opened the door to Room 1818 and Sofia saw a mostly clean room.  

“Here we are.” Katie said. 

When Sofia didn’t see any wild stains, put-out fires, broken beds, or melted furniture, she started getting creative speculating about what Katie could have possibly needed such urgent help with.

“Who’s she?”

Sofia turned toward the other voice in the room and saw that Katie was not alone in Room 1818, there was another girl.  This one appeared slightly older than Katie and had shorter jet-black hair.  She had freckles on her cheeks and bright green eyes.  

“Alexandria, this is Sofia.”

Sofia replied quickly, “I think ‘Mrs. Romero’ would be more appropriate.” 

These girls were young enough to be her daughters and maybe respecting your elders was old-fashioned these days, but the privilege of addressing Sofia by her first name was something reserved only for her peers and HER elders.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Romero.” Alexandria said. Sofia picked up a look of confusion Alexandria had briefly and quietly sent to Katie right before Katie began speaking.

“Mrs. Romero, to give you an incredibly abridged story of our issue, we have traveled here from Connecticut with the intention of presenting to a very prestigious Board of Investors.” 

Katie gave a slight pause, probably allowing Sofia to acknowledge understanding, return an ‘uh-huh’, or anything. Sofia just continued to stare; she learned over the years that silence made others uncomfortable and they would often fill it at the expense of revealing more about themselves or their opinions than they might have otherwise. It was barely a game this time.  This time, it was just about her patience; it was beginning to grow thin.

“So anyway, we are engaging this board to seek funding for a very special, very important experiment that myself and Alexandria are running.  We brought with us a male and female volunteer but unfortunately, the female volunteer–”

“--Sabrina..” Alexandria interjected. She didn’t seem confused anymore about what was going on.

“Yes…” Katie said, “our female volunteer Sabrina had flight troubles and can no longer make it.”

“So you need me to volunteer to help you with this presentation. What do you need me to do, hold a prop?  Why don’t you give Vanna White a call?” Sofia finished, trying to push things along.  

The girl named Alexandria rushed to answer the question, “We’d just need you to do some poses.  Some squats, go from sitting to standing…some walking.  A few very simple exercises.  All really easy things..the only interesting part though…is that you’d need to be in your underwear for some of it…and bottomless for just A VERY LITTLE BIT of it!”

“Excuse me?” Sofia asked with fire in her voice.  “You want me to get naked for a stuffy group of old men? Do you think I’m some sort of harlet?”

“No, no, no!” Alexandria said abruptly, “We don’t think you’re a harlett. You are free to leave your shirt on the whole time.  Its just your butt we would need to see.

“Girls…” Sofia said with exasperation, taking a deep, quivering breath and cupping her face with her hands. Any small amount of patience inherent to Sofia’s personality atrophied and disappeared in the years since becoming a parent and subsequently a grandparent..and she found herself trying to control her anger just as she had with her daughters.  These girls weren’t much older . 

“I’m a maid.  I’m cleaning staff.  Actually, scratch that.  As of right now, I’m a 41 year old Texan woman whose shift just ended 2 minutes ago and badly needs a bath and 8 hours of sleep.  Why in heaven, of all the women in this hotel, do you need me and my behind for this?”

“Because of how big it is.” Alexandria blurted out.  Sofia’s eyes widened and her thin lips curled.  She was prepared to go off on this foul-mouthed girl but then Katie winced and interjected.  

“Mrs. Romero…I’m so sorry. Please excuse Alexandria.” Katie said sympathetically, sending daggers from her eyes at the girl with the jet-black hair, freckles on her cheeks, and big, unfiltered mouth.  “Sometimes she says things without thinking.”  

Katie approached the nightstand that separated the two beds and picked up a small shoebox with the word ‘Dearfoams’ printed in large letters on the side. 

“Please Mrs. Romero, have a seat…just for a moment.” Katie said.  Sofia was ready to storm out the door, perhaps even complaining to management about sexual harrassment, but something about this brunette’s young face and brown eyes…her eyes seemed to contain so much wisdom, age, and experience.  

Sofia took a deep breath and sat down on Katie’s bed.  

“We told you that our female volunteer Sabrina couldn’t make it.” 

Katie took a seat next to her and set the shoe box half on her own lap and half on Sofia’s.  

“I want to show you our male volunteer.” 

Katie opened the box and Sofia’s hand rushed to her mouth to conceal a gasp.  

“Oh mio dio!” Sofia exclaimed.  The little thing in the box fell backwards, tangling itself in some pantyhose. It appeared to be just as shocked to see her as she was to see it.  

“Is that…a person??” Sofia asked in disbelief, leaning in closer to look in the box.  He was completely alone in the box except for what looked like crumpled up pantyhose and two small bottle caps. 

“It is.” Katie said.  “This is Dante.  Dante, this is Mrs. Romero.”

Sofia couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She’d had plenty of toy dolls when she was a little girl, but none as small as this.  

“Is he…real?” Sofia asked with uncertainty, and then she gasped again as the tiny little man cautiously waived to her.  

“He sure is, Mrs. Romero.” Alexandria said from the other bed.  “His name is Dante.  He’s our male volunteer.  He was going to be working with Sabrina but like we said, her flight was delayed and now she can’t make it.”

Katie gently removed Dante from the box using just an index finger and a thumb, both nails painted a deep black.  Dante didn’t seem thrilled about being handled right now, staring up with uncertainty at the huge Italian stranger, but he went along with it…not that he had much choice. 

“So we’d like you to take her place…and work with Dante.” Katie said, almost hypnotically as she extended her two pinched fingers toward Sofia, who was now under control of her curiosity to open her right hand and accept him.  He barely felt like anything in her palm.  It was so surreal and unbelievable that she wanted to pinch herself. 

“What do I need to do with him?” Sofia asked, scanning his naked body with fascinated eyes.  

In the same hypnotic, soothing tone, Katie professionally replied, “We need you to keep him between your buttocks.” 

“What??” Sofia exclaimed in disbelief.  She was so taken aback, she dropped the tiny little man who was now squeaking like crazy back into the box.  He landed with a quiet, harmless thud near the pantyhose.  

“Where is the camera, girls? Tell Allen Funt to get out here now because I don’t have time for this.” 

“...who?” Alexandria asked.

Sofia roughly pushed the box away from her lap, and Alexandria caught it just in time.

“This isn’t a joke, Mrs. Romero.  Sincerely, this is oh so very important for our research.  We need your help…please believe us.” Katie pleaded.  

To be honest, Sofia was not turned off to the idea of putting the little thing in her behind.  Certainly even more open considering the payment of $1,000.  What she didn’t want was to be plastered all over American Online for her girlfriends and family to see.  Something about Katie seemed so sincere though, and Sofia sighed.  

“You’re not recording any of this, are you?”  Sofia asked.

“No, no…there won’t be any cameras at the presentation. The investors want privacy just as much as we do.” Alexandria replied.

“No…” Sofia said sharply, “I mean…you’re not recording me right now. This better not be a prank, girls.  I promise you…my sister’s husband’s cousin is a lawyer and–”

“Mrs. Romero, I swear to you this is not a prank.” Katie said solemnly.  

There was a long pause. 

“Where’s the money?” Sofia asked

“I’ll write you a check.” Katie responded quickly, grabbing a checkbook from the bag next to her bed.  

Since the moment that Sofia had pushed the box away from her lap, the little man named Dante had been squeaking up a storm.

“What is he saying in there?” Sofia reached for the box.  It almost looked as if Alexandria was going to pull it away and hug it to her chest, but Sofia gave her a stern, motherly glance, and the girl’s deep purple-painted fingers released the box.  The maid picked Dante up out of the box and lifted him to her face.  He was so, so small.  Less than an inch tall in her fingers.  As he got closer to her face, she could make out more clearly what he was saying.  

“I’m going in her ass?  No!  Katie….Alex…I agreed to Sabrina!  SABRINA!  Not this old, fat maid!”

Sofia’s eyes widened, “Excuse me?! What did you just call me?  How DARE you speak about me that way?!” Sofia said, breathing hot fire on his squirming body.  

“I’m…I’m sorry miss.  It's nothing against you.  They just…this wasn’t part of the deal…I don’t want to do this anymore.” Dante said. He looked with fire at the girls, “You were going to force me to do this without even asking me?  That’s it.  I’m out…I’m removing my consent.  Grow me back.”

Sofia looked at Dante for a few moments, studying him..and then looked at the girls.  They weren’t moving.  They weren’t retrieving whatever they needed to grow this little boy back. 

“I’m sorry girls, he doesn’t want to do it.”

Both girls sat in silence for a moment, and the brunette with  the subtle red highlights seemed to slump her shoulders in defeat. Sofia began to lower him back into the box, thinking about the long, cleansing bath she’d be taking soon.  

Katie was about to say something, but Sofia would never know what it was because Alexandria spoke up with intensity.  

“That’s not up to him!  He doesn’t get that choice anymore!”  

Even Katie seemed shocked by the line.

Still clutching Dante’s squirming body between her fingers, she put her free hand on her wide hip.  “Oh? And why not?  I’m not trying to get in any legal trouble for forcing someone into my behind against their will.”

“He doesn’t get a choice anymore because of…” the girl with the jet-black hair reached into her backpack at the foot of her bed, removing a baby-blue manilla folder.  

“…this.”

She took the single sheet of paper that Alexandria had removed from the folder and Sofia began scanning it.  Dante’s face was in the top right corner.  He was handsome but looked stern and serious.  

“Oh goodness, he’s a…convict?” Sofia asked.

Alexandria vigorously nodded.  “Yup! An inmate currently serving!  And his prison allowed him to volunteer in this presentation in exchange for time removed from his sentence.”  

Katie had appeared confused at first, but now she was nodding along. 

“Oh dear…assault and battery?  Robbery?”  Sofia looked from the paper to Dante, who was now squeaking and thriving even moreso.  

“And this Sabrina woman he mentioned?” Sofia asked with intrigue and suspicion, pointing to the printed name of Sabrina Becotte at the bottom of the form.  

“She was going to be the one to keep him in her rear…” Katie said, “...but there was never anything agreed to or promised saying that Sabrina would be the one that he would go to.”

“Oh, I see..” Sofia muttered, scanning the wordy document.

“This is all legitimate, Mrs. Romero.” Alexandria said, clearly trying to pull her attention away from the squeaking Dante.  

Sofia looked from the girls back down to Dante. 

“Don’t let them do this to me!  Don’t do this!” Dante said, practically in tears.

“Not so tough now, I see.” Sofia said sternly, bringing him closer to her face.  “You criminals often lose all your strength and ability to intimidate when you’re under the boot of the law.  Not only do I lack respect for criminals, but I have even less respect for a man who doesn’t keep his word.”

Sofia looked up from Dante and back to the girls.  “He agreed to this?”

The two girls nodded.

The middle-aged Italian woman looked down at Dante and sneered, “And you were just going to go back on your word?  These girls seem nice…a bit quirky…but nice.  It sounds like you promised to help them and now want to take it all back…..hmm?”

“The presentation is TODAY! He could have backed out before he signed.  He can’t back out now!” Alexandria said with passion.

Sofia’s hands were now on her wide hips as she sternly peered down at Dante.  He stared up and whimpered, “You…don’t understand….miss…please–”

“--I think I understand just fine.  And if there’s one thing I dislike more than a criminal, it's a promise-breaker.”

Sofia peeled the disgusted look from her face and looked back up at the girls.  She nodded, “I’ll do it.”

Katie looked a lot more surprised than Sofia expected her to look, and both girls were doing their best to disguise their girlish happiness. 

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Romero.  You won’t regret this, I promise.”

“And it's only for today, right?” Mrs. Romero asked, to which the girls nodded emphatically.

“Yes, you will only need to keep Dante between your buttocks for the presentation. 

Sofia was beginning to get annoyed by the frequency of the incessant squeaking of the criminal in her chubby fingers.  She dropped him into the box, aiming for the pantyhose and after she watched him harmlessly bounce off the garment, she shut the lid and turned her attention to the girls.

“Okay, when do we start?” Sofia asked.

“Right now. The meeting is taking place in Conference Room B on the 4th floor.” Katie said, checking her watch. 

“I will need to go home and get a quick shower first.” Sofia said firmly, but was a bit caught off guard by Katie’s stern response, practically interrupting her.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Romero, but there’s no time…”, Katie said, peering at the watch on her wrist.  “...the meeting starts in a half hour. We need to go right now.”

~